Chapter 22 - Love

Safety.

It's such a strange concept.

A feeling that can have so little to do with what you're actually facing.

It can change from moment to moment.

Something I've learned from this whole situation is that safety is a sense that does not depend on where you are or what you're facing but on hope and who you're with.

I used to think it relied on fear, life security. But It's something else entirely.

I lie in his arms in a dark bedroom.

At first, Draco insisted on sleeping in the sitting room on the sofa.

But nightmares.

The epitome of how unsafe you can feel in the physical safety of your own home, own bed, own mind.

He told me how he would wake from his own nightmare to the sounds of screaming in the next room.

My room.

And being together, well, at least it gives a sense of safety when we wake.

I couldn't imagine being in my flat, alone.

Harry and Ron never really understood while I was at the safe house. They probably knew the nightmares would come, but that was all they thought they were, nightmares. When you've experienced something like that, it's never just a nightmare, but the fear that I've woken up.

But Draco and I can face this together.

And to be honest, we don't sleep all that much. Sleep brings fear.

Sure, I had bouts of nightmares as a child, but I thought those days were over, that sleep would always be the haven of peaceful recovery it had become throughout school.

I am afraid of sleep. I am afraid of the moment when I am pulled back into the memory so deeply that I begin to confuse it with reality.

I think Draco is feeling that way as well, though, he hasn't said as much.

Right now, we lie awake, but together, fighting the fatigue that has crept into our very bones.

Now, awake and feeling the strength in his arms as he holds me close, I have a sense of that safety I want so badly to maintain.

"Did you mean what you said?" Draco asks, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled between us.

I look at him in the darkness.

"When I said what?" I whisper.

"The last words you said before waking up," he explains quietly.

And I know exactly what he's talking about.

Has he been thinking about that this whole time? Analyzing it? Doubting it?

I love you.

I did then, but do I now? Was I just vulnerable because of the situation?

I love you.

Such small words can mean so much.

Do I? Do I still?

I place my hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath my palm.

I remember the panic, how my own heart broke, thinking of what was being done to him. I remember the fear that his heart might be stopped.

I know the warmth I feel deep within me when he simply says my name, I know the feeling of emptiness that comes over me when I imagine my life if he hadn't been saved.

"Yes," I find myself replying.

"You have to understand, I give those words a lot more value than others might," he tells me. "My father never said them, my mother only rarely, and I myself haven't used them. I was brought up to believe conflicting things. Father said love was weakness, my mother said it was strength but only if wielded by the right person. Together, they said to keep my heart safe."

And it makes sense.

He's been guarding his heart with lock and key for so long.

I lightly trace the line of his jaw with my fingertips, feeling the slight stubble that has come in there.

"I've fallen in love with you twice," I whisper, pulling myself closer as I say the words. "Don't think I need a third."

Passion.

Hunger.

Life.

Sadness.

Love.

It comes together the moment he pulls me even tighter against his chest and melts into the kiss.

And it doesn't matter that he hasn't said the words.

I feel it in the power.

I feel it in the way he holds me like he never wants to let go.

I feel it in the salty taste of his tears mixed with the smile his lips form against mine.

There is still so much we have to work through; our lives have changed, our souls damaged.

But love.

Love is the strongest magic of all.

Love conquers. It heals. It renews.

And that's just what we need.

This is what we need.

We're different now. Mere vapours remain of our old selves, our old lives, but we're not lost. Not anymore.

Because I know that there is a future for us.

Laying in each other's arms, holding on like we'll never let go.

This is where I belong.

This is where we belong.

Hello everyone! I am so sorry this has taken such a long time to be posted! This summer was absolutely exhausting, I joined a fanfic competition where I had to write a story every two weeks, and I was being a complete perfectionist about this. It's still not where I want it to be, but I do want to complete this fic before the summer is over.

Thank you guys for sticking with me, for being patient, this story was really different and was a lot of fun to write. Thanks to all you wonderful angels who sent me reviews throughout the story, they made my day every time. I love you all!

This is finally the end!

We are now on Round 9 of 13 for the competition I am involved with, so check that out if you want to read more from me. There are a couple Dramione s in the ones I have posted so far, but a mix of other things too!