A/N: I am late posting this. I have had the flu, something fierce. I am hoping Chapter 4 will be comming at you this weekend, no promises since I am still fighting this damn flu!
Onto the story.
Chapter 3: The Changes Begin
Riding in the carriages for the last time made Hermione's chest tighten. Seeing the castle for the first time since the battle made brought back unpleasant memories; remembering the chaos, the blood and death. Memories flashed quickly and sequentially in her mind; bile rising up in her throat seeing her friends and those she called family be killed all over again. She wasn't sure if this was going to be a good idea anymore. Maybe she could talk to McGonagall, and return back home. She shook her head, dismissing the idea from her mind. She didn't even know where home was. She knew she would always be welcome at the Burrow with the Weasley's, but spending day after day with Ron was off-putting.
She felt herself begin to panic over the idea of returning to the castle, but then a warm hand grabbed hers. She was expecting Ginny, but was shocked to see a much more pale and masculine looking hand when she looked down. Her eyes traced from the hand up to the arm and then to the face. Her first instinct was d pull her hand away quickly, but instead she kept a hold of his hand for strength, gripping it tightly. She was hoping she was giving him comfort as well; she doubted coming back to Hogwarts was going to be a pleasant experience for him.
Once they reached the doors of the Entrance Hall , they went their separate ways. Gryffindor's at their table, Slytherin at theirs. Hermione, however, made sure to sit where she could see the Slytherin table. She was drawn to keep an eye on those Slytherin's she had just spent the train ride with. She wanted to see how Slytherin was treating the three Eighth years who had returned.
She didn't need to wait long. The sneer's, and slurs were starting, mainly from other houses, but a few from Slytherin. It seemed the three just took it in stride, but it bothered Hermione nonetheless.
Moving she adjusted in her seat when the sorting was about to begin. And as always the sorting hat had to sing a song.
"Oh you may not think I'm pretty, You can keep your bowlers black, There's nothing hidden in your head You might belong in Gryffindor, You might belong in Hufflepuff, Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, Or perhaps in Slytherin So put me on! Don't be afraid!
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
if you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
The sorting came and went as it was a rather small class of first years joining them this year. Unfortunately, a few had died during the Battle of Hogwarts, some had run away from Britain with their families and most of them had opted for schooling elsewhere, deeming Hogwarts unsafe. To be honest, Hermione couldn't blame them. Too much had happened.
"Now before the feast begins, I would like a few words." Headmistress McGonagall said and waited for the hall to quiet down.
"As many of you know this castle was the battle ground for the war. We have repaired it, charmed it and erected new wards over the grounds.. Those of you who are returning will note that some things may have changed, but overall everything is where it should be. " The Headmistress took a deep breath before continuing on with her speech.
"Now we do have a handful of returning eighth-year students, whom I hope everyone will show respect to. No matter what side of the war they may have been on, they are all here to continue their education just like you. Hogwarts will not tolerate hate or bullying of any kind. The Board of Governors has decided that this is of the utmost importance. The consequences for those participating in acts deemed hazardous to the learning environment and to the safety of the students will be expelled. As many of you can see we have many new professors joining us this year. Professor Emmeret will be taking over Transfiguration, as well as Gryffindor Head of House. Professor Liona will be taking over Potions, as well as Slytherin Head of House. And Professor Weasley, will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.
For those returning students I speak to you now. Instead of returning to reside with your normal houses, there will be a special common room and dormitories set up for you. Please stay seated until after the feast so I may show you to your new living quarters. You are more than welcome to roam to your house common rooms if you feel the need to spend time there with other members of your house.. You are adults here and will be treated as such. I know some other students may not see it fair, but most seventh years will also get a few extra concessions as well. Notes will be delivered to all those affected by the following:
No Curfew, You may visit Hogsmeade every weekend if you choose, and during the week if you do not have classes. Students must be responsible and keep up with your classes, if you fall behind, or start to cause trouble, any of these concessions will be taken away from you. " With that McGonagall let all that sink in for a moment before taking her seat.
Hermione looked at the group of professors and sighed. At least Bill would be the new Defense teacher, so that meant it would be a decent class. The other two professors she had never heard of , but she was sure the headmistress took great care in making sure that they were right for the position. It helped that Bill was on her side. Over the summer, she had found that he was one of the few she could talk to about the torture she had been through. He was attacked by Greyback, and even though he wasn't tortured like she was, he knew about the depression and anxiety that came with it, having experienced it himself.
Hermione wasn't really paying attention so when the food arrived signaling the start of the feast she jumped a bit.
"You okay Mia?" Seamus asked.
"Yes, I am fine. I was just lost in thought, and didn't realize it was time to eat," she said with a soft smile. Her anxiety level was high, threatening to completely debilitate her at that moment. She couldn't get it out of her head that she was sitting at a table that was sitting exactly where all the bodies of her friends had lain only a few months ago. She tried not to dwell on it and was grateful when Neville scooped up some steak and kidney pie and put a small portion on her plate. She wasn't hungry but knew she needed to eat something.
"Come on Hermione; you need to eat something." Ginny said, trying to encourage her to eat..
With a sigh Hermione let her eyes wander for a moment to the Slytherin table only to lock eyes with Draco. She didn't even know how long he had been watching her, but once their eyes locked it was as though she could at least take a deep breath.
Her mind ran a million miles a minute, trying to figure why he made her feel so calm.'Why is he effecting me like this? Why can he calm me down without even being close by? Are we connected by the bracelet? Are we connected because he was there that day?' Her mind was still racing with questions, and her eyes didn't leave his. After a long moment, she averted her eyes and finally gave in to the little bit of food on her plate.
Over the summer Hermione had tried to gain back some of the weight that she lost while on the run with Harry and Ron. Mrs. Weasley tried multiple times to get her to eat more, but nothing worked. After going from eating well for years to eating berries and sometimes other things they were able to find made her stomach shrink. She lost so much weight over the past year she can't even stand to look at herself in the mirror after a shower anymore. She was always skinny, but now her ribs protrude from her side and it made her hate her body even more then she used to.
The rest of the meal came and went quickly, and Hermione wasn't even sure if she finished her meal or not. Her thoughts were all over the place so she just sat next to Neville, trying to relax by laying her head on his shoulder for a moment. She watched as the rest of the student body leave the Great hall.
McGonagall came sweeping down to those eighth years still seated, in an almost Snape-like manner which gave Hermione chills down her spine. "Follow me," was all the headmistress said before she swept pass the eighth year students and headed out of the Great Hall.
They all hurried to catch up with her not expecting her quick pace. The headmistress started to speak once they caught up. " Your common room will be on the fifth floor. Each of you will have your own room, and are more than welcome to erect wards and whatever protection enchantments you wish. You are old enough to act as adults and make your own choices." Hermione tried to process all the information , but walking through the rebuilt halls made her feel weak. The bad memories currently outweighed the good and she was once again questioning her descion to return. Thankfully, it seemed Draco sensed her distress and grabbed her hand.
"Remember you are strong…the strongest witch of our age. You can do this," he whispered in her ear.
She wasn't sure if he knew precisely how much those words helped her. "Thank you" she whispered back squeezing his hand gently. When she felt stronger, she let go of his hand and almost regretted it immediately; his warmth comforting. Thankfully, they came to a stop on the fifth floor in front of a portrait that reminded her of the four horsemen.
"Your password is redemption. You may invite who you wish into your common room, but only you few know the password right now. I suggest you be mindful with whom you invite into your common room." she said, looking at them carefully. "You are all adults, and as such we have granted you a small cabinet with liquor. I suspect a few of you may need a drink now and then that is stronger than a butterbeer." With nothing left further to say, she bid them goodnight and left them standing in front of their portrait.
Hermione thought it was rather interesting, to say the least that their password would be redemption, but thinking of it, they all had something to redeem to some degree. She was no angel; she knew that they all where in some way prejudice in years past, and maybe this was their chance for them all to have a clean slate.
She heard one of the boys say the password and jumped feeling a hand on the small of her back.
"Sorry," Draco said quickly, moving his hand away. "Just thought I'd help you into the common room."
Hermione nodded and gave him a weak smile. "I didn't think coming back would be so…" she paused really thinking of how to describe what she was feeling. "Taxing, emotionally I mean. Everywhere I look I see blood, crumbled walls, and bodies." She shivered at her explanation , her feet walking her through the portrait hole on their own accord.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione looked around and took in the room. It reminded her of the Gryffindor common room, but it was mixed with all the house colors of green, silver, red and gold. It was tasteful. Everywhere she looked were decorations that Molly Weasley would envy and Narcissa Malfoy probably decorated her house with. The fireplace looked warm and inviting, tempting Hermione to just curl up in a nearby armchair with a good book. Slowly moving through her new living space, she absorbed the small kitchen nook they had, which made her smile. It was simple, but it meant she didn't have to go to the Great Hall all the time for meals. She could make something there and just continue to study or whatever she wanted.
Most of the boys already walked down the hall to their rooms to check them out. Theo, Draco, and Hermione all stood in the main room for a moment longer before starting down the hall. She glanced at the little plaques that had their names letting them know what room was theirs. Theo came first on the right, then Hermione, and Draco. It seemed to go in a sort of pattern until the last two rooms which were Seamus and Dean right next to one another.
"House unity I would assume," Theo said. He must have noticed the pattern as well before disappearing into his room to check it out.
Hermione pushed open her door and slowly took in her surroundings. A large four poster bed sat in the middle dawned in Gryffindor colors. A large desk sat under a window, and as she peered out, she smiled seeing the black lake. Walking further into the room, she was drawn to the bookcase. She let her hand skim over the spines of the books, again thinking about curling next to the fireplace with a good book. She then took a seat at her desk to look in all her school books and some more that the Headmistress had recommended to her over the summer for her to just read for fun. Taking her wand out of her robe pocket, she waved it and slowly unpacked her trunk, arranging her room to the way she wanted it. Normally she would do it the muggle way, but she didn't have it in her that night—it sounded exhausting. Hearing a knock on her door she turned around to see Draco standing there with a bottle of firewhiskey and two empty glasses.
"I am going around offering everyone a glass, sort of a clean slate in our new dorm," he said and offered her a glass, which she took. He poured her a glass, corked the firewhiskey back up and then made his way to walk back down the hall.
"Draco… " she said and watched him turn back to her. She bit her lip not knowing what to say to him . "Thank you… for everything." Hermione g took a drink of her whiskey, needing some liquid courage. She enjoyed feeling the burn all the way down to her stomach, warming her slowly.
Draco just nodded gently, before turning his back to her and disappearing out of sight. She had a feeling it would take a lot to get them to talk like friends especially after everything they had been through.
She nursed the rest of her drink, drinking every last drop before she started on her nightly routine of shower, lotion, bed. Getting out of the shower, she quickly dried off trying to not look at her body in the mirror. Pulling on a long sleeve nightshirt and some pajama pants she brushed out her hair on the way back to her room. She had a feeling that her first night back at Hogwarts would not be a pleasant one.
With a sigh of defeat, Hermione climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She immediately started drifting off into a fitful sleep, letting the nightmares consume would of taken a potion, but she was scared of becoming addicted to them Instead, she chose to let her dreams terrorize her, hoping that someday they would disappear.
A/N: So this is a filler chapter. Lots of little tidbits of information.
This is a slowburn Dramione. So their little touches are just that right now, just for comfort and safety.
Once again give it up to my wonderful Alpha/Beta: AlexandraO