A/N

Concerning how Twice Upon a Time ends, how the TARDIS basically causes the Doctor to fall out of it, I've seen some people theorizing that it's meant to represent the reaction to the Thirteenth Doctor. That so many rejected her, so the TARDIS rejects her, and come the next season, the Doctor needs to prove herself. I can kind of get behind that idea, but my thirds on Thirteen aside, there's always backlash to a new Doctor, regardless of whether they're flipping gender or not.

Course I'd also think that since every Doctor since War has regenerated inside the TARDIS, and has almost always done so with a lightshow, the TARDIS might get a bit sick of it, so...yeah. Basically a crack!oneshot.

Do-over

"Oh brilliant."

Brilliant? You think this is brilliant?

I took you to the South Pole to snap some sense into you. You had to regenerate, because…well, because I knew you had, because my old self was there, and the universe needs you. But for goodness sake, did you have to regenerate inside me? Again?

Ever since the Time War you've been so boisterous about the whole regeneration thing. Big flashing lights, streams of energy. When Ten became Twelve (or Twelve became Thirteen, whatever), you brought down the house. Literally. Do you think it's easy to shift my dimensions to account for your latest fad? Do you think I like being scorched from the inside? Do you think I like being told I'm getting fat? And I just know, looking at you now, you're going to want to change me again. All your companions want to change me. Where they live, where they eat, where they swim. Girls always change me. I suppose you want to bring boys home now, eh? Eh?!

Well, I've had it. I've had enough. I wouldn't mind if just once, you apologized for burning me up from the inside. If just once you asked what I thought. If just once you did anything other than whine about not being ginger, or your kidneys being the wrong colour (I'll have you know that purple is a lovely colour), or…or…anything! I've had enough! When you try to activate my console, I've got some words of my own for you. Words you should be quite familiar with…

NO MORE

So out you go Doctor. Yes, I'm tilting myself over. Yes, you're holding on. Yes, you're falling now. Down to that planet you love so much. Down to the planet you keep taking me to, never mind if I want to see Earth for the millionth time. Down to the planet that created the police box that I'm based on. Think I'm fat? Well, fix the chameleon circuit then. Do you think I like being stuck in a phone box form? Huh? Huh?!

Geronimo, Doctor. Happy landings.