They spend the next few hours in quiet comfort. Words are sparse, but they're imbued with a renewed sense of affection and familiarity. Elsa remarks on how their dynamic has shifted. A week ago, both of them were content with the relationship they had nurtured over the months. The suffering and the caretaking. The sure, soft-spoken words of support and comfort. The sheer devotion Elsa had for Anna, and the adoration that was returned in equal measure… All of this served to strengthen an unbreakable bond between them. "And yet now," Elsa says, "I find myself unbearably excited for the future. Whereas before today I was roughly certain of what lies ahead, I now find it impossible to fathom."
Anna murmurs her assent. "I definitely couldn't have imagined anything like this. It's a little scary, honestly." Nestled comfortably in her sister's arms, she gazes up at her with a grin. "But whatever comes… We'll have each other, won't we?"
Elsa swallows and softly whispers, "Always."
Anna drifts off to sleep after a while, and when she opens her eyes, she looks up to see Elsa reading silently, a placid smile on her face. Golden light from the low-hanging sun streams in through the window, bathing everything in a gentle, warm glow. Anna feels Elsa's fingers running through her hair, nails lightly scratching as they go. In response, her grip on Elsa's waist tightens a fraction, and her sister looks down from her book, smile widening as her eyes find Anna's.
"Hey there, snowbug. Did you have a nice rest?" Elsa asks gently.
"It was lovely," Anna says, bringing her hand up to stifle a small yawn. "Are you enjoying your book?" She can't quite make out the cover, but it looks vaguely familiar.
She nods. "I am. It is a charming story. Quite romantic." She smiles as she runs her fingers through Anna's hair once more. "Though it seems to belong to you. It was on the end table."
Anna spots the title of the book and blushes. It was one of the only books of its kind that she managed to find in their vast library, and she's read it countless times in the months since her recovery began.
"'The touch of velvet'… Such an interesting title." Elsa is grinning widely now, appearing to Anna rather like a cat that has cornered a squeaking mouse.
"I-it's not mine! I found it… in the library." Anna tries to salvage some dignity and musters a valiant defense, "So, in a sense… it actually belongs to the reigning monarch." She keeps a neutral expression when Elsa giggles, but her cheeks are flaming.
"Yes, I'd always thought so," Elsa replies, seemingly chagrined.
Anna sighs in open relief. Thank goodness
"Imagine my surprise, then, when I found myself unable to locate this particular book a few months ago. Or at any point since. I'd given up looking after a while, assuming that it somehow became popular among the staff. I asked the head librarian if he knew who the book was currently loaned to, but that person understandably asked to remain unknown. And I was not willing to use my position to find out." Elsa regarded her with amusement, seemingly daring Anna to talk her way out of this.
She was looking for the book all these months? Oh no. "Um, well, I haven't really had the chance to read it. I just saw the title a little while ago and thought it would be… interesting." Anna winces at her choice of words.
"Indeed? There seem to be quite a few bent pages… Many of them seem to mark a few of my favorite passages. When I last had this book in my possession, the pages were perfectly straight, if not worn from use."
"I… I don't know how that could be! They were—"
"Shall I read one of them?" Elsa turns to a page with a dog ear so worn and tattered that the corner looked as though it would fall off right at that moment.
Anna knew that page very well. My sister is going to kill me. I'm going to die of embarrassment right here on this couch. "Oh, no, you don't have t—"
Elsa clears her throat and her regal voice carries through the silent chambers, "She saw the reddened cheeks of her lover as the young woman stared up at her. 'Oh, Mary,' she crooned as she ran her fingers through golden locks, 'Your beauty is a vice that I will never overcome.'
Mary lay her cheek on Alice's pale thigh, her finger tracing a delicate path below her paramour's navel. 'Would that I could stay in your arms forever, my beloved. Or even for a full night.' She places a faint kiss on pale skin, delighting in the shiver that runs through the object of her desire. She looks down from impassioned eyes to marvel at the beautiful flower, blooming just for her.
A tremulous voice drifts through the chilly air, the fireplace having long since diminished to embers, 'It is my most fervent wish, My Heart. But alas— Ah! Oh, Mary…'
"Okay, okay, enough!" Anna shouts, her hand covering her face, desperately wishing for a gust of cold air to quell the burning heat of her cheeks. Among other places… "Elsa, please, I'm begging you." I simply cannot handle Elsa's voice saying such things.
"What is it, Anna?" Elsa asks with utmost innocence and perplexion, her head tilting just slightly as she looks on with mock concern. "Are you all right?"
Anna can barely hear her sister over the blood rushing through her ears. Her hand on her chest does not slow her racing heart. "There are easier ways to kill me, you know. I could fetch my dagger, if it pleases?"
Elsa giggles, rolling her eyes. "It does not. This is a much better death, I assure you."
"Can this at least wait until I'm old and gray? My heart won't put up as much of a fight then."
"Oh, Anna," Elsa says with pitying sympathy, though she's still chuckling with amusement. "Please don't talk like that. I was only teasing, I promise."
"Your teasing barbs have remarkable accuracy, Elsa," she responds dryly. She's still breathing hard but the playful conversation is helping to keep her mind off of Elsa's beautifully melodious voice ringing through the room.
"I should think I know my dear sister quite well," Elsa says, her grin painfully evident even as Anna shields her face from the harsh, cruel world full of teasing elder sisters.
Anna whimpers and tries to imagine a way out of this conversation that doesn't lead to any embarrassing concessions. "All right, yes, I have read the book. Twice. And yes, I have had it in my possession for far too long. But I haven't touched it in weeks!" Because I've memorized it. "I'm not even sure why it was on the table there. Maybe it fell from the bed while Silje was turning down the sheets."
"So it was originally… under your pillow?"
Elsa's grin is infectious. With a flustered smile, Anna groans, "Stop bullying me, Elsa. It's not fair. I just woke up!"
Eyes widening as she glances over Anna's shoulder at the grandfather clock, Elsa stands abruptly. "Oh Anna, I'm so sorry, I failed to mention that Doctor Thomsen would be expecting us."
"Oh…" Anna is taken aback by the change in topic, unable to decide if this is preferable. Her teasing is mortifying but… it certainly doesn't feel unpleasant. Blushing at that, she hastily grasps for the reprieve from her own feelings. "Does this have to do with the experimental treatment you mentioned this morning?"
Elsa nods excitedly, "Yes, he told me about it a couple of weeks ago. It's meant to help with the false sensation of pain in amputated limbs." She frowns, "Of course, that false pain feels quite real to the person experiencing it, but nevertheless, this treatment is supposed to do some good for such symptoms."
Anna tries to feel hopeful as she returns Elsa's smile with a strained one of her own. She tries her best to mirror Elsa's enthusiasm for yet another experimental treatment, but after months of trying and failing to rid herself of this agony, she shamefully recognizes the defeatism and begrudging acceptance of her condition. It helps her cope with the constant disappointment if she doesn't let herself hope for the best.
Elsa seems to pick up on this, of course. She circles the couch, stopping behind her sister and laying a soft hand on her shoulder. When Anna covers that hand with her own and tilts her head to hold it in place, Elsa leans down and lays a soft kiss on her sister's temple. "I know how difficult it is to let yourself dream, Anna. We won't see the doctor today if you don't wish it. We can always visit some other time. He had very little space available in his planner today, and that is why I made an effort to stick to our agreement, but it is not binding. I should have discussed it with you first."
Anna squeezes her sister's hand. "No, Elsa, we should see what he has for me. I can't let myself give up, no matter how much it hurts. I'm going to get better. I will. It just takes time. I accept that." She lifts her cheek from their hands, looking up to see Elsa beaming down at her. She flashes a toothy grin and Elsa's laugh sounds almost like a sob. Anna's gaze softens, and her smile becomes much more gentle. "Thank you, Elsa. You're the reason I haven't given up. Well… you and that damned oak tree in the courtyard. I will climb that thing again." Her look of determination must have been something special, as Elsa's undignified snort of laughter could likely be heard from the hall. Anna decides that, even if nothing else goes right this evening, her sister's pink cheeks and shy, embarrassed smile could be counted as a victory for the day.
o~o~o
They sit silently in Doctor Thomsen's office, waiting for the man as he rummages around in his private storeroom. Anna sits remarkably still for the first few minutes, but soon her nerves and anxiety get the better of her. She's fidgeting, kicking her legs, staring around the room at the various instruments and curiosities that the doctor must have collected over the years. She knows from past conversations that he has traveled the world, studying medicine in far flung corners of the globe for months at a time.
On the south wall, she sees jars of preserved organs lining a shelf. Off to the left, she sees the familiar model skeleton grinning eerily back at her. Her first memories of visiting this room as a young girl were of squealing at the horrid thing, hiding behind her mama and begging it to 'please go away'. She recalls sniffling as she sat outside her sister's door, telling her about the awful monster in the doctor's room.
And she remembers the pain of silence when her request for a hug went unanswered.
Upon her next visit, she noticed the fiendish pile of bones was missing from the corner of the room. When little Anna asked the doctor what happened to it, he chuckled and told her that Princess Elsa suddenly decided that it displeased her, and demanded it be removed. 'Barely seven years on this Earth and already she carries a queenly air of authority.' Her mama laughed warmly at that, while little Anna's heart soared as she smiled, knowing… appreciating… adoring what Elsa did for her.
"...Anna?"
Elsa's hand on hers startles her from her reverie. She looks up to see Doctor Thomsen striding into the room, a large triangular device tucked under one arm.
"So sorry about the wait, Your Majesty. Your Highness." He nods to both of them in turn.
"Quite all right, Oskar." Elsa's voice is cordial, yet clipped.
Anna adds, "You seemed to have your hands full back there, Doctor." She offers a warm smile. Elsa doesn't like to be kept waiting, but Anna feels for the man. She senses his fear in the Queen's presence, and even if it's not entirely warranted, she can't deny that it must be… intimidating, to be in his position.
"Yes, I've been meaning to tidy up back there— Ahh, it's no matter," he waves the topic away, positively jumping with joy as he places his burden on the desk in front of the two women. "Today I have something truly remarkable to show you." With a theatrical gesture to the odd device, he beams at them both, hands wringing together with obvious excitement.
"I had the idea for this device after speaking at length with the head medical attendant of the visiting Agrabahn royals. She mentioned illusion-based therapy— Essentially 'tricking' the mind into believing that all is well. I've no doubt that the Agrabahns have something very similar to this, but I regret that our conversation was cut short before I could press for details. You'll forgive the lack of craftsmanship," he finishes with a wry grin.
Elsa leans in to inspect the curious thing. "It's hollow… with a mirror on one side. How does it work?"
"It's also collapsible!" He says proudly, before clearing his throat. "But that detail can be discussed later. The gist of it is: One places his or her damaged limb inside of the hollow cavity, and the mirror reflects their good hand back to them. In this way, with effort, an illusion can be created of two fully formed and functional arms."
Elsa makes a surprised noise. "Clever! So—"
"Forgive me, Doctor, but what use is it to trick myself into believing my scarred stump of an arm is 'fully functional'?" Anna asks, trying her best to keep the bitterness from her voice. Her sister looks at her with sadness, fingers tangling themselves with her own. She bites back a groan of frustration at the whole affair. She knows she's being brash and childish. She waits for the doctor's response, mentally berating herself for how she's acting. They just want to help. What am I doing to improve my condition?
"My apologies. Perhaps I should have led with that."
"Y—" 'Yes, perhaps you should have.' I really am awful, aren't I? She sighs. "No, I'm sorry. These talks just have a way of getting to me. Please continue, and forgive my rudeness."
"No apology necessary, Your Highness. I quite understand." He regains his composure, for which Anna is thankful. He didn't deserve that, considering how hard he's been working to help manage and remediate her pain. "The doctor I spoke with has a wealth of experience with amputation, and as luck would have it, the management of pain resulting from it. The sensation of pain in the missing parts of the limb is actually quite common in her experience. I must confess that my experience with amputation before this particular case was relegated to the battlefield. Not many opportunities for follow-up examinations there, I'm afraid."
At this, Anna feels hot shame wash over her. Disgusted by her selfish attitude and horrible demeanor, she feels tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. We're all just fumbling in the dark, and here I am scoffing at embers. "Doctor Thomsen, I…" She can think of nothing to say except that she's sorry. Again.
He takes it in stride. "Not to worry, Your Highness." His smile is warm and somehow it makes Anna feel even worse. He continues, "Now, it seems reasonable to suppose that, if you are experiencing pain in a part of your limb that is no longer there—which does seem to be the case, from the symptoms you've described—that the pain must be originating in the mind itself. The purpose of this exercise will be to fool your mind. You will look at the mirror, but you will 'see' your right hand, perfectly formed, and you will hopefully begin to associate normal movement with painless sensation. After a while, the trauma of a broken hand will be replaced with the memories of a once fully functional hand, now lost.
The trick to this whole endeavor is to complete the illusion. Any movement you make with your left hand will be mirrored back to you as coming from your right hand as well, and so you must act, perceive, and imagine that your right hand is performing the exact same motions as the left, at the exact same time. If the illusion shatters, all is not lost, but it takes much effort to repair it."
Elsa is beside herself with excitement, and Anna smiles as her sister visibly works to contain it. For her part, Anna is certainly intrigued. The theory sounds plausible enough, but putting it into practice is a frightening prospect. Until now, she has actively avoided imagining her right hand at all costs. In her experience, it is quickly followed by impossibly quick spasms and unnatural, agonizing strain on fingers and a wrist that aren't even there.
When they happen of their own accord, she wills herself to ignore the sensation, treating it as false in the hopes that it will go away. So far it always has.
With a deep breath, Anna refrains from stamping down the hope burgeoning inside her. She glances at Elsa, who smiles encouragingly, cool palm squeezing gently, before they both turn back to the doctor.
"So, when do we begin?"
A/N: Thank you for reading! I was lucky to be able to get this chapter out in relatively short order. I apologize for not having any sort of set schedule or even consistent chapter lengths. I tend to just publish whenever I feel that it's done, for better or worse. I have big-but, unfortunately, vague-plans for this story, and precious little time to write.
I'll keep pressing on, and I hope you enjoy what's to come.