Part 1

There are those who say youth is a lie, but only because they are not living the rose coloured life they intended to have. Their hypocritical yapping is nothing but sour grapes. Even beyond the level of an illusion, youth is a sorry excuse.

Those who adopt the pretense of being young and utilise it to delude themselves with the great sophistry that they are forgivable for their mistakes fail to realise that they are merely playing into society's hands. Using such flimsy words as a shield, they accept lies, secrets, sins and failure as no more than the colour in their lives. Almost as if such mistakes are something to be proud of, and to add purpose to one's existence.

If the spice of life known as "youth" is a lie, should not an individual bereft of these experiences be considered an elite, a higher being in today's society? But those driven mad by youthful dreams would vehemently object, instead distorting the reality around themselves to fit their expectations; a failure of a project becomes a learning experience, the loss of a friendship is merely the opportunity to meet new people, and the rejection of a lovelorn proposal is quickly pushed to the side. To those driven delirious by the idea of experiencing youth, I offer my sincerest condolences.

"...The hell is this?" Hiratsuka sensei slams the sheet of paper down on her table, causing the rest of the staffroom to turn in her direction.

Hikigaya Hachikuji flinches under their gazes. She isn't used to the eyes of so many teachers, or anyone for that matter.

"Hikigaya-chan, would you please remind me what I asked you to write?"

Damn, this teacher is scary! In a state of conditioned reflex, Hachikuji looks away from the demonic expression on her teacher's face.

"...An essay looking back on my life in high school," she replies.

In her defense, Hachikuji had tried her best to write something positive, she really had. But all that came out were things like "eating lunch alone beside the tennis courts" and "playing chess with myself during recess", and Hiratsuka-sensei would have killed her for writing those things down anyway. Hence this essay was born.

"And you came up with this. A critical essay targeting our education of youths. How in the world did it turn into this?" Hiratsuka-sensei sighs, crumpling the piece of paper into a ball and deftly tossing it into the trash can under her desk.

At a loss of words for this "teacher" who apparently can't appreciate modern literature, Hachikuji opts not to respond to Hiratsuka-sensei's provocations and instead remains silent, staring at the ground in what could be interpreted both as bashfulness or sheer boredom.

Hiratsuka-sensei adopts the look of a posed teacher: leaning forward, arms crossed and rested on the table, facial features twisted in a long-suffering grimace. "...Your eyes are seriously dead, aren't they. Just what do you see through them?"

Hiratsuka-sensei has a sort of natural inclination. It has less to do with whichever star she was born under and, Hachikuji feels, has more to do with her laid-back attitude which heavily contrasts her responsibility-ridden role as a teacher.

Nobody can take her seriously, especially when she says things like this.

Of course, Hachikuji has heard this line many times, and she certainly cannot deny the fact that her sole pair of eyes looks like that of a dead fish's. It's an indication of her intelligence, she likes to tell herself.

"A senior citize-" Hachikuji almost remarks, but the single teacher decades past marrying age abruptly interrupts her mid-sentence with a forceful knee to her gut.

The onlooking teachers simultaneously turn their heads back in a belated display of disinterest.

Moaning in agony on the floor, Hachikuji clutches her stomach in pain amidst Hiratsuka-sensei's vehement clarifications ("I'm twenty-eight, you damn brat! Just a few years older than you!"). The general atmosphere among the other teachers seems to be that of amusement, though none of them have lifted a finger to stop this blatant case of student abuse. Trust them to turn a blind eye to issues outside their paycheck.

Looking up, Hachikuji realises that Hiratsuka-sensei is staring intently at her. This is not, by any definition, a good sign.

"You swing that way?"

Squeezing her eyes shut in annoyance, Hiratsuka-sensei replies with a curt "Follow me" and swiftly exits the staffroom.

The occasional shuffling of paper and clicking of a keyboard reaches Hachikuji's ears. With the removal of its most unstable element, the atmosphere in the staffroom is sombre, almost stifling. Just the way a staffroom should be.

Hikigaya Hachikuji takes a moment to reflect on her actions. Perhaps she should have written a normal essay, half-assing a random piece instead of pouring her heart and soul into her homework, of all things. Maybe she shouldn't have provoked her highly esteemed teacher to the point of such righteous anger with her errant tongue. She was wrong. She has sinned against Heaven and before Sensei, and is no longer worthy to be called a student.

Apologies typically don't work on the being that is Hiratsuka Shizuka, but it never hurts to have one prepared just in case.

Still wincing in pain, Hachikuji picks herself up follows suit.

Part 2

The boy had been reading a book. He was by no means a slow reader, but he had been perusing the same book for the past few days, allowing the words to seep into his mind again and again. So much that he knew what was about to happen with the turn of every page.

Around him, the classroom is empty, the tables and chairs stacked neatly at the back. All is quiet. He has fully immersed himself in the book and is just about to review an important plot point when Hiratsuka-sensei bursts in through the door with a miserable looking girl behind her.

"Sensei, at least tell me where we're going! Ah."

Hachikuji's protests stop as if a switch has been flipped. The boy blinks.

Yukinoshita Yukio, from International Education class, 2J. That hellish class with scores consistently way above the national deviations, he is known as a man with grades never falling below first place, and with looks to match. Not that Hachikuji cares about such a thing.

Handsome Yukinoshita raises a head of raven-black hair and glares at them with annoyed blue eyes. Okay, maybe Hachikuji does care a little. She could almost imagine herself confessing to him and getting rejected immediately.

"Sensei, I believe I have told you several times not to burst into the clubroom without knocking."

Hiratsuka-sensei, without a single indication of guilt on her face, points at Hachikuji and commands: "Fix her."

He's not taking you seriously, you demon!

Yukinoshita turns to look at Hachikuji, a look akin to condescension registering on his face. Being an experienced loner, Hachikuji is not used to such an intense stare and feels herself stiffen considerably. She knows better than to get involved with the target of affection of almost every single girl on campus, and can't help but imagine all the ways this could possibly go wrong.

He's not taking me seriously either.

"Sensei, I can already feel his lecherous gaze on my person. He must already be considering the multiple ways to violate me in a haze of passion." And with this appeal for sympathy, Hachikuji very nearly escapes the room, but Hiratsuka-sensei stops her with a viciously heavy stomp on her foot.

A look of mild surprise followed by annoyance, then a cold laugh. "Me? Violate you? That may well be the case, if you had sufficient amounts of sexual appeal. However, it seems more likely that I will have to be the one rejecting your advances." Ouch! A fine demonstration of why Yukinoshita Yukio is not at the top of the social hierarchy along with all the riajuus, despite his reputation. Lacking a clear explanation, the student body has largely attributed this phenomenon to a lack of effort on his part; trivial things like social status must be below Yukinoshita Yukio, since he evidently sees no need to take part in them. Hachikuji, who knows better, owes it to a lack of capability.

"Don't worry, Yukinoshita. Hachikuji's self-control is more than enough to prevent that from happening." Hachikuji would point out that she has no reason to confess to someone she has just met, if not for the fact that she can almost see Yukinoshita's already negative impression of her sinking deeper and deeper. Not that she cares, of course.

"So, who is this girl and what am I supposed to fix? Her rotten eyes seem incurable." Yukinoshita remarks. Consider my delicate feminine sensibilities, will you? Despite her obviously annoyed expression, Hachikuji is nudged forward.

"Hikigaya Hachikuji. Nice to meet you," Hachikuji continues, " I don't need fixing and I wish to leave as soon as possible." Or so she would say, if Hiratsuka-sensei wasn't standing right behind her.

"As punishment for writing that contemptuous crap, you are to join this club, and he will fix your attitude. Any attempt to object will be seen as hostile."

"Sensei, I have sinned against-"

"Stow it. You know that kind of crap doesn't work on me."

"But isn't this oppress-"

"Sit." Hiratsuka-sensei takes a chair with the deftness of one accustomed to physical activity, strides to the opposite side of the clubroom and slams it down, motioning for Hachikuji to take a seat. Begrudgingly, Hachikuji complies.

Damn, barely seventeen and already feeling like a corporate slave.

With the air of a haughty individual at the top of the chain of command (she isn't and never will be, Hachikuji thinks spitefully), Hiratsuka-sensei leaves the room.

With only Hachikuji and Yukinoshita in the room, the room falls into dead silence once again.

Part 3

Yukinoshita reads a book. He sits cross legged in his chair, next to the windowsill with a can of coffee on top and his schoolbag on the floor. He holds the page with both his fingers, and turns it slowly every half a minute. Hachikuji doesn't bother to notice such things. After all, why does she need to care about the daily activities of others? With nothing to hold in her own fingers, she twirls her hair, occasionally betraying her own convictions and sneaking momentary glances at Yukinoshita.

Look, anyone would get bored of the floor after a while.

"Are you just going to stare at me like that for the next two hours?" Yukinoshita scowls at Hachikuji, who immediately averts her gaze. Blushing slightly, she pouts and grumbles: "What am I supposed to do for the next two hours? Hell, what club is this, even?"

"Take a guess."

"The Literature Club? There aren't any tools that would be used for clubs like chess or drama, you seem to be reading a book and there aren't many club members-" Hachikuji stops at this point upon receiving yet another annoyed glare, courtesy of Yukinoshita.

"It's the service club."

Hachikuji blinked. "...The what?"

"The service club."

A club like that exists? What kind of trash club is made for the sole purpose of helping other people? And in fact, - "Why did sensei drag me here?" Hachikuji vocalizes this last passing thought, half-expecting a well thought out response of complete silence.

"It appears.. you need help. From what I've seen, your problem is pretty serious too."

Oh, as a client. I see, I see. So how do I terminate the contract?

"Pffft. I am a healthy and wholesome high school student who sees no problem with her life, thank you very much." It's true; Hachikuji has no friends or social life to speak of, but it doesn't bother her in the least, not at all, nope. She chose to be a lone wolf.

"Is that so? When was the last time you spoke to a guy?" Yukinoshita does not sound convinced.

"In the… last year of middle school." Hachikuji vaguely remembers the boy who confessed to her, just because they sat next to each other for half a year. What a pathetic basis for confession; I'm probably one of his many conquests, she thought at the time. Hachikuji doesn't want to remember, but she can clearly recall his explosive stammering (in front of everyone, right before homeroom) and the earnestness in his eyes. The words "Can we just be friends?" she managed to force out after an extended period of awkward silence, and how the heartbroken boy had asked for a seat change the next day. Then came the pity for poor Yoshida-kun, then the spiteful remarks, then the social outcasting. That was not the first time an incident of this kind occurred, of course.

But that is all in the past. Yukinoshita doesn't need to know.

"Those with the ability to give should utilise it to help others. People call this community service, and that is exactly what I am doing for you. I have received a request, and I shall fulfill it. Welcome to the service club."

"As I said, that isn't a problem. And besides, the rest of my life is pretty sorted out. I've got good grades in general, and eyes aside, I have a pretty good face. Since when did someone need friends to be considered fixed?" Hachikuji retorts, turning away from Yukinoshita, who has walked over from the window and is now standing next to her.

"Really? I've never met a girl who had the confidence to call herself pretty while having not a single point of reference to speak of. " Yukinoshita's words cut deep into Hachikuji, and she flinches, the faux confidence in her face ebbing away.

Grabbing onto any semi-legitimate retort she can come up with, Hachikuji crudely responds, "And a guy with the best grades in school and the looks to back up his reputation has the balls to criticise a nobody for lacking presence or popularity. Like he understands." Yukinoshita sighs and walks back to his seat.

"Well, that concludes practice." HUH? "If you're able to hold a conversation with me, someone you apparently consider a 'looker' like myself, shouldn't that be enough to talk to most guys already?" Yukinoshita smiles, turning Hachikuji's statement against her. Upon realising that she has been played, Hachikuji flushes. Well done, she thinks with just a pinch of sarcasm. You've concluded that I don't have a confidence issue.

"As if I called you a looker! That's the general opinion of the tasteless masses, not my own! " She doesn't even realize it, but she is shouting now. Glaring furiously at Yukinoshita, she is about to unleash another barrage of spontaneous (and petty) insults when the door slams open with a bang.

"O.K., timeout! I can't say for sure, but it looks like you're in a spot of trouble, aren't you, Yukinoshita?" Hiratsuka-sensei re-enters the classroom, clasping her hands together.

Yukinoshita, rather flared up from their conversation, deflates before replying "Knock." The almost paradoxical soft yet piercing tone of the one word that emerges from Yukinoshita's mouth sends chills down Hachikuji's spine. Not the good kind.

Not unnerved in the slightest, Hiratsuka-sensei ignores the cold stare of Yukinoshita with an wide, unflinching, almost infectious smile that definitely doesn't befit a woman of her age. Not that Hachikuji is going to say that out loud, in fear of the likely pain that would ensue.

"Since you two have a conflict in ideals, why don't you two have a match? Like in ancient Japanese rivalry."

"Is that something from your shounen manga?" Hachikuji almost asks. But Hiratsuka-sensei is already clenching her fist, almost as if she has predicted Hachikuji's untimely witticisms and is already preparing to sock her one.

Yukinoshita seems disinterested. "A match? As in, a battle of wits to determine the superior individual? What a waste of time; it is obvious who will win anyway." Turning away, he reaches for his book once again.

"Oh really? It seems to me that you're just scared of losing." Hiratsuka-sensei juts her chin out, trying to appear blatantly provoking. Hachikuji is amazed at Hiratsuka-sensei's level of maturity, but even more so when Yukinoshita takes the bait.

"Provoking a boy into mercilessly crushing a girl is simply distasteful, Sensei. However, I suppose I am inclined to accept this request." No, you're not! Hachikuji screams internally. Am I the most grown up person here? Me, who's labelled as the one who needs fixing!?

Hiratsuka-sensei smiles. "Since this is the service club, we will have a match to see who is better at serving the student body... " Listening to her rambling, Yukinoshita gives off the cool, contemptuous aura of a cat, no doubt eager to prove himself as the superior individual.

I don't have any say in this, do I? The situation has unfolded in the worst way possible. Hachikuji groans inwardly. This cannot possibly end well.

Part 4

Hachikuji finds herself walking into the clubroom the next day, despite having no rational reason to do so (fear of Hiratsuka-sensei's fists, probably). Yukinoshita is already inside, reading the same book as the previous day. Hachikuji sits down, opting to distance her seat from his and taking careful attention not to stare or disrupt the peace which he clearly relishes.

"Good afternoon." Jolted by the sudden greeting, Hachikuji sits up, glancing apprehensively at Yukinoshita.

"H-Hello."

"Considering how our argument yesterday clearly ended in my favour, and how you lacked any say in Hiratsuka-sensei's proposal of a competition, I presumed you would not come today."

Hachikuji sighs. Maybe she could use a few lines from her senseless female classmates at the top of the student hierarchy. She wonders how they are able to handle arguments with boys on a regular basis. It's fine, she tells herself. You don't have to answer him. Just demonstrate your maturity. Be the bigger person.

"What kind of arrogant attitude is that? Like, seriously, do you have any friends at all?"

Feeling that she has won this exchange, she turns away triumphantly. Yep, definitely the bigger person.

Yukinoshita peevishly replies after a pause. "Well, for me to answer that question, you would first have to define 'friends'-"

"That's a 'no', then. I'm the source on that." Hachikuji, a proud loner herself, would often say those lines when asked if she had friends by her parents. The cafeteria lady who took her lunch order, the class monitor who had to collect her homework, the neighbors she talked to in the mornings before school. That was how she usually justified her blatant lie of "Yes, I talk to a lot of people in school" to her rightfully concerned parents.

Yukinoshita, obviously irked by Hachikuji's curt response, is about to open his mouth to reply, but abruptly stops himself. Sighing, he turns away and looks wistfully out of the clubroom window. "It's not like you'd understand, anyway."

Hachikuji recoils from the bluntness of his words. Was that a pang of guilt?

"Children are such innocent, yet cruel creatures. In elementary school, my shoes were thrown into the lake over 10 times, my schoolbag found in a place I didn't put it 60 times, my notes torn up and all over the floor too many times to count." Yukinoshita continues. "Strangely enough, the greater the man, the more he suffers in life."

Growing irritated by the blank stare on Hachikuji's face, Yukinoshita scowls. "Don't you get it, Hachikuji-san? I was bullied, for no good reason at all. Nobody liked me simply because I made them feel inferior, and it seems nothing I do will ever change that."

This jolts Hachikuji out of her trance, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Her eyes drop to the ground, leaving the room in overwhelmingly awkward silence.

...wow, edgy.

Almost immediately, the silence is interrupted by the sound of the clubroom door sliding open.

"Sorry to intrude, is anyone here?" A short boy with bright orange hair peeks into the clubroom. His eyes sweep the room, before landing on Hachikuji. Feeling relieved, a bright smile lights up his face. "Oh! It's Hikigaya-san!"

His orange hair is unmistakable; it's one of the sheep who constantly flock to class 2E riajuu Hayama Hayato, going with the flow like dead salmon. Who exactly he is, Hachikuji has neither the reason nor the desire to find out.

"This is, like, the service club, right? I came here with a request." The certainty of his smile wavers, but the boy still makes a significant effort to make it as bright as possible. As if for permission to continue, he turns to look at Hachikuji, who turns away immediately with a scowl.

"You came here with a request? Please, go ahead and state it. I will do my best to resolve whatever issues you may be facing." In an instant, Yukinoshita transitions from troubled youth to approachable counsellor. His words abruptly remind Hachikuji of the fact that she is in the middle of a match with him. Damn you, Yukinoshita!

"So? What's your request?" Hachikuji grumpily turns to the boy, who looks down, scratching his face and blushing in surprise.

"W-well, you know, it's just.. there's this girl that I kinda have, like, a crush on? Something like that." Hachikuji already regrets taking this seriously. This boy's speech style is putting her patience under immense strain.

"And y'know, Valentine's Day is in two days, so, like, I wanna find out if this girl is, you know, giving chocolates to anyone." The boy blushes and twirls his fingers.

Hachikuji sighs and looks at Yukinoshita's direction, fully expecting an expression of disgust or contempt on his face. We're supposed to solve the major problems of the student body, aren't we? There's no way we would accept a request like that, right? Right?

Yukinoshita replies. Unflinchingly. "I accept."

Are you really that eager to win?

"Who is the girl you want us to investigate?"

The boy smiles awkwardly, scratching his hair. "Yumiko Miura-san."

Hachikuji isn't unfamiliar with that name. The overbearing matriarch at the top of the campus hierarchy along with the Hayama Hayato, Miura Yumiko is fairly famous in their school, commonly known as "the Fire Queen" and "Hayama's Bitch". The fear she instilled in the hearts of every female student is the sole reason accounting for Hayama's lack of a romantic relationship. For a fact, not a single student in the neighbourhood has not heard of her fearsome temper.

Oh, and she's also Hachikuji's classmate. This'll be a problem.

Awkward silence. Then, "...by the way, what's your name?"

"Oh, it's Yuigahama Yuichi. I look forward to working with you! Ehehe..."

Weren't the last two lines completely unnecessary? Hachikuji wonders how long it will take for her patience to give out.

Part 5

The next day after school, anybody passing by the Service Club's clubroom can find two mannequins on opposite sides of the room. Hachikuji and Yukinoshita sit, unmoving, with not a word between them.

This occurs for most of the afternoon.

Finally, Yukinoshita takes a sip from his can of coffee and sighs. "So what are we going to do about-"

"A fanboy wanting to find out if he stands a chance with his crush?"

"-this issue, was what I was going to say. No, more importantly, how exactly are we going to go about breaking the news to him without hurting his feelings? In the high likelihood that he is not the target of her affections."

"Ah, so I don't have to explain it to you." Seemingly, even the socially incompetent Yukinoshita is well aware that Yumiko Miura obviously plans to give chocolates to Hayama. The both of them are riajuus and a couple by proxy; it amazes Hachikuji how a member of their clique could fail to understand this simple fact.

Hachikuji continues with a sigh, "Well, I'm pretty sure that we don't need to do anything. A girl like her would announce the target of her affections to the world to mark Hayama as her territory, if nothing else."

Surprised by the accuracy of this comment, Yukinoshita replies, "That is quite true. But I do not believe we can rely on a phenomenon like that in case it does not happen. A more reliable solution would be checking the chocolate before she gives it, or spying on her when she does." This guy is scary! Does he have any respect for a woman's privacy?

While the two are deep in thought, Yuigahama opens the door and walks in, once again with an infectious smile across his cheeks. "Hey guys! Um... I made a bunch of these yesterday as practice for White Day... just take it as my thanks for helping me out!" He hands a small box to Hachikuji, who stares at it with no small amount of skepticism. It appears to hold a few brown lumpy objects... chocolate?

"Shouldn't you be giving this to Hayama's bitc- Yumiko-san?"

Yuigahama looks down and blushes. "Well, it's customary on Valentine's for girls to give chocolates to the guys they like, right? Giving it right now would just be, like, super weird and besides, wouldn't that basically be a confession? There's no way I could do that! Ehehe..."

Ignoring the irritating and clearly fabricated speech pattern, Hachikuji accepts the explanation. Despite the fact that the chocolates were given half-heartedly, she feels her traitorous heart skip a beat. I received chocolates! The black lumps in the box (wait. Weren't they brown just a second ago?) don't exactly seem fit for human consumption, but they are chocolates, after all.

"Th-Thanks."

"You'll accept it? Really?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure any girl would be happy to receive gifts from a guy as long as they're sincere, so..."

Yuigahama, who opened his mouth to say more, closes it again, before muttering, "I see." he looks down at the ground and smiles slightly, and Hachikuji feels her heart flutter for a moment. Maybe he isn't so annoying after all.

Yukinoshita abruptly stands up, interrupting Hachikuji's train of thought. "Now that we are all present, let us discuss our plan."

Wait, we were waiting for him all along? And learn to read the mood, dammit!

Yuigahama's brow furrows, though the smile remains glued to his face. "We have a plan?"

Yukinoshita's eyes narrow. "That is exactly what we will be discussing."

For the next two hours, the trio then enter a state of disarray, with Hachikuji and Yukinoshita arguing over possible solutions, with Yuigahama attempting (futilely) to calm both of them down.

Part 6

"Onee-chan, what are you doing? It's nearly 1 in the morning."

Hachikuji turns around to see her (adorable) younger sister Komachi rubbing her eyes sleepily while yawning.

"I'll be done soon, so you can go to sleep first. Don't worry about me."

Komachi smiles and gives a nod before dragging her feet to the bedroom. Waiting until she hears the door shut, Hachikuji stares at the mess in front of her and lets out a sigh. The next one will have to do.

...

The next morning, Hachikuji stares idly at the group surrounding Hayama and Yumiko from her seat. They seem especially excited and nervous, most likely due to the fact that today is Valentine's Day. What a meaningless festival; all it does in pile up pressure and social tension, Hachikuji thinks. She, too, once was fell victim to this expectation - the pressure to give chocolates to someone just to fulfil the hopes of desperate boys in middle school. Naturally, she ended up being even more ostracized when she failed to meet this expectation. Not that she's bitter about it, of course. She's moved past that.

As for what had happened the day before, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama had agreed on a plan, but Hachikuji could already see the outcome. Ah crap, I shouldn't have come to school today. Hachikuji yawns; last night was really tiring. It only takes one look at the dark circles under her eyes as well as her lifeless demeanor (more so than usual) for everyone to ascertain that she will probably be spending her lesson time catching up on lost sleep until recess, when the plan will be put into action.

Sure enough, Yukinoshita walks into the classroom a few minutes after recess begins, choosing a time when Hayama is not in the class. Hachikuji buries her head in her arms; she can't bear to watch. The classroom falls silent as Yukinoshita strides confidently up to Yumiko.

"Sorry to intrude, my name is Yukinoshita Yukio, I'm sure you've already heard of me. May I ask who you're giving your chocolates to?"

Behold, the fruit of hours of laborious discussion.

Way to fuel the rumours; as if there aren't enough of those already, Hachikuji sighs in exasperation, yet is unable to peel her eyes away from the scene. Both boys, desperate to go home, had proposed for a third party (Yukinoshita) to ask Yumiko about her chocolates directly, and had completely disregarded Hachikuji's opinion that it was sure to fail.

Miura Yumiko stares at the strange boy that has barged into her classroom during recess to ask her a personal question in front of all her classmates. Naturally, she has an expression that perfectly matches the absurdity of the situation.

"You... like me or something?"

Hey, this is bad.

"No. I am asking on behalf of a friend."

"Isn't that, like, what all the guys say? Sorry but I have, like, just about zero interest in a person like you."

This is really bad.

Yukinoshita is already biting his lip, as his smile becomes increasingly forced. "As you may know, I am from the service club, and I require this information to help one of my-"

"Huh? The Service Club? What kind of stupid club is that?"

Hachikuji begins to slip on the shoes she kicked off in the middle of Hiratsuka-sensei's lesson.

"I am sorry that the president of this lowly club requires the audience of someone of your social status, your highness, but for no personal reason at all, I require this information." This is it. It's going down. Yukinoshita breathes heavily as he stares at the seated Fire Queen, with a gaze as sharp as broken glass. Watchijg from the corner, Yuigahama looks particularly worried. Hachikuji mentally braces herself.

Yumiko stares back at Yukinoshita with a reddened face, body language basically screaming out telltale signs of her infamous temper. "What gives you the right to-"

Hachikuji pushes herself into the middle of the two of them, breaking off the brewing argument.

"Yukinoshita, let me handle this."

"But-" Yukinoshita opens his mouth to speak, only to realise that the stares of the entire class are resting on him. Dropping his head, he quietly exits the classroom, with no small amount of shame. Hachikuji then turns to face Yumiko, who glares back.

"What do you want now?"

It's time to start negotiations, Hachikuji thinks grimly. No doubt, if she were a boy, she would think of something stupid like '108 skills' and call upon one specially reserved for this occasion. Unfortunately, she has lived a life deprived of hopes and dreams and shounen manga, so this will have to do.

An audible collective gasp can be heard as Hachikuji prostates herself fully in front of Yumiko.

How ironic, Hachikuji thinks. Even though she has explicitly chosen not to associate with others and assimilate into the social hierarchy, here she is literally kneeling before to a riajuu. What is she even doing this for? The service club that she was forced to join? Cold, bratty Yukinoshita? Annoying fanboy Yuigahama? Before she has had the chance to fully contemplate this, her forehead has already touched the ground.

No turning back now.

"Yumiko-san, I'm begging you. We can't tell you why, but we really need this answer. For the service club. I assure you, this information isn't going to be used for our own personal gain, but for the purpose of helping our clients, so please, could you answer the question? You can answer in private, if you prefer.'

Amidst the atmosphere of abject mortification, Hachikuji feels a sliver of relief that her eyes are facing the ground, making it impossible to see the expression of utter condescension that is no doubt plastered all over Yumiko's face. Nor can she see the shock on all her other classmates' faces, especially Yuigahama's.

"Ew, that's like, totally gross, Hachikuji-san. What's up with you today? I'm not obligated to answer such a personal question, you know? Hello? Are you even listening to me?"

"Please, stop avoiding the question. I'm begging you." Hachikuji puts in her best efforts into injecting (false) earnestness into her voice.

"Just, no, okay? I'm not telling you! It's my business who I decide to give chocolates to and I'm not letting any of you stick your noses into it!" With that, Yumiko steps over Hachikuji-san and strides out of the classroom, with her chin high and chest puffed out, leaving the classroom in complete silence (usually a very difficult feat to achieve, even during lessons). While acts like refusing the request of a prostrating individual tend to sour one's reputation, Hachikuji is certain the rumours from this incident will be biased against herself instead of Yumiko. Such is the difference in social status between both of them, she laments, trying her best not to meet her classmates' gazes.

She meets Yuigahama's by pure chance. He looks ill.

Soon enough the classroom once again bustles with idle chatter. No doubt, the outrageous scene that has just unfolded will be written off, like just another failed confession. This thought does not make her feel better in the slightest. Amidst the chaos of everyday classroom life, she slowly picks herself up and drags herself back to her seat. Well, that didn't work out. Time to go back to sleep, I guess.

Right when she is about to doze off again, something catches her eye. Yuigahama is… approaching Yumiko?

What an idiot. This can't go well.

Suddenly wide awake, Hachikuji nearly stands up from her seat to prevent an imminent disaster, but stops herself. She has already fulfilled her quota of embarrassing acts for the day; what Yuigahama chooses to do isn't something she should concern herself with. And with that thought, Hachikuji decides to lie on her desk and, from her peripheral vision, watch the chaos ensue.

(She doesn't.)

Part 7

Why Hachikuji still reports to the clubroom in the afternoon is a mystery, especially to herself. Yukinoshita is already inside reading the same book, although he does not seem to have made any progress. Wait, how did I know which page he stopped at? Snap out of it already!

Both of them sit in the usual thick silence. Surprisingly, Yukinoshita is the first to break it.

"You really embarrassed yourself back there, didn't you."

"Don't talk like you were much better, smartass," Hachikuji grumbles, and another awkward silence ensues. She should really start bringing a book to pass the time in here.

"Why did you do it? The plan had failed and you weren't a part of it."

Hachikuji tries to bury her head in a table in front of her, only to find empty space. Right. All of those are at the back. "I just figured... taking up this request was the most constructive thing I've done for quite a while, so I might as well put some effort into it, y'know?"

Yukinoshita smirks, most likely to give a scathing remark about what a difference her "effort" made, but her incoming humiliation is spared when the door slides open.

It's Yuigahama. Hachikuji is surprised that he still wants anything to do with the club, seeing how they embarrassed themselves on his behalf. His smile is as bright as ever, but somehow it feels less forced. He gives a nervous laugh. "I got rejected."

The other two occupants of the room look up in surprise. "You actually managed to get her to talk to you?"

Yuigahama looks down at his feet. "Well, I did try my best to take Hikigaya-san's advice about being sincere..." Then his face hardens. Is that... determination? "After everything you guys have done for me, I figured the least I could do was to solve my own problems."

Hachikuji revises her opinion of Yuigahama immediately. She hadn't thought that he was actually capable of doing something so bold.

"I see. In that case, we're done for the day. I'll see you tomorrow, Hikigaya-san." Yukinoshita, satisfied, picks up his bag and leaves the room.

Typical Yukinoshita thinking: Mission accomplished, request fulfilled? Time to leave.

There's the fact that Yuigahama has just been rejected and is in a state of emotional vulnerability. But rather than choosing to ignore this, Hachikuji suspects, Yukinoshita has not even considered it.

Also typical Yukinoshita thinking: Anything outside a request is not his problem.

Man, for a guy running a pseudo charity organisation, you sure are frigid.

The slamming of the door emphasizes the silence between Hachikuji and Yuigahama, who are now alone in the room.

"It didn't work out, but thanks for your advice, Hikigaya-san. It, like, really gave me the courage to ask her about the chocolates." Yuigahama laughs nervously again, scratching the back of his head. He notices that Hachikuji is fishing for something in her bag.

"Here, take this." Hachikuji carelessly tosses something at Yuigahama, who grabs hold of it after much fumbling, nearly dropping it on the ground. He stares at the bag in his hands. Chocolates…?

In the highly likely case that the plan didn't work, Hachikuji had decided for these chocolates to be a sort of emotional buffer for Yuigahama to get over the pain of rejection. However, the burnt mess of unrecognisable blocks in the plastic bag can hardly be called chocolates.

"This is payback for the chocolates you gave me the other day. And I thought you might need some chocolates after what happened today. I'm sorry for how it turned out, since I'm not that good at cooking and all..." Hachikuji looks up from her bag to stare at Yuigahama, who is already opening the bag.

"Hey, you shouldn't eat-"

"It's good!"

"Huh?" Hachikuji stares at Yuigahama, who (to his credit) is trying his absolute best to maintain his smile as he bites down into the "chocolates" which most probably provide more nutritional value for plants.

"It's really good! Really, thank you for the chocolates...I...huh?" Yuigahama pauses mid speech as he notices the tears trickling down his face. Not really knowing how to react, Hachikuji hastily looks away as Yuigahama begins to sob (manly enough, all things considered) at the front of the classroom.

Should she put a hand on his shoulder? Hachikuji doesn't know, and for the first time in her high school life, she finds herself distressed by this fact.

"I knew it all along, y'know?" Yuigahama hiccups. "Only an idiot wouldn't notice that she only had eyes for Hayato-kun. But I was still... in denial or something, I dunno... and I roped you guys into this mess. I'm sorry about that." And just like that, he calms down. Kudos to him, thinks Hachikuji. Makes one wonder if he really liked her that much in the first pla- wait! Stop that train of thought right now!

"Well... yeah. You know... don't worry too much about it. Lots of fish in the sea, and all that."

"Of course. Thanks for everything." And the bright smile is back, albeit a bit more strained than usual. How does he do that?

Woefully, he stares out of the clubroom window, towards the setting sun. "You know, you guys are pretty amazing. All I've been able to do so far was maintain my status and wallow in my emotions because of it, but you guys... you guys were willing to throw all of yours away just to help someone you barely know. Like... that's cool. Really cool." Hachikuji feels like pointing out things like "social status" don't exactly apply to her and Yukinoshita, but thinks better of it and restrains herself.

"Um, I...I'll give you some space," Hachikuji stammers after a comfortably long silence. Picking up her bag, she leaves, leaving Yuigahama alone with his thoughts.

Part 8

The next day, Hachikuji walks into the clubroom, seeing the now-familiar face of Yukinoshita. She sits down and is fishing for a book in her bag when a cheerful Yuigahama enters the room.

...Is it just her, or has his smile gotten a lot less annoying?

"Hey everyone! What are we gonna do today?"

"...Hikigaya-san, why is he here?"

"...My guess is as good as yours."

Yuigahama laughs and beams. "Well like, the whole Valentine's Day incident made me realise that both of you are super good people. It was really fun to be able to, you know, work with you guys, especially Hikigaya-san, since you don't talk in class much..." He steals a glance at Hachikuji, who hastily looks away. How is he acting so normally after yesterday?

"Before you work with us could you fix your style of speech? It's, like, totally super annoying. Also, you're not an official member of the club." Hachikuji feels the urge to laugh at Yukinoshita's less than subtle jab, but holds it back.

"Man, you guys really are cool! You don't mince your words, and you're not afraid about voicing your own opinions!" Yuigahama laughs again, seemingly unfazed by Yukinoshita's comments. Yukinoshita, surprised, coughs and goes back to his book.

"Well, it's been a pretty rough ride, but my name is Yuigahama Yuichi, it's a pleasure to meet you and I hope we can work together!"

Once again, I don't have any say in this, do I? Thinks Hachikuji as she sighs and gestures for Yuigahama to take a chair from the back of the room.

Well, that might not be so bad.

END OF CHAPTER 1

Author's Note:

What will Yuichi, Yukio and Hachikuji face in the months to come? Look forward to our next chapter! Do drop a review and a favourite!