Mood Swings

By: S J Hartsfield

Rating: G

Summary: Mungojerrie's in one of his *moods* and hasn't been giving Rumpleteazer the attention she wants... what's up with that?

Disclaimer: Mwangarangaroo, boyos.

---

Rumpleteazer did not lose her temper easily. She had a fairly long fuse, and it was usually pretty hard to light.

But today, Mungojerrie had managed to.

He had been in one of his *moods* all day. He would do anything in an attempt to be charming. He smiled, he nuzzled, he very nearly kissed.

And he hadn't spoken to Teazer for hours.

He had interacted, in some way or another, with every queen in the tribe except Teazer. And she couldn't figure out why that bothered her. The last time he was in a mood like this, he had nearly driven her mad. This time he was leaving her alone, and it was having much the same effect.

"What's wrong, Teaz?" she heard someone ask. She turned to see Bombalurina swaying toward her. Something told Teazer that the red queen knew exactly what was wrong.

"Nuffin'," the forlorn queen answered glumly.

"Nuffin'," Bomba mocked, seating herself beside Teazer. "I've seen that look before. That's the look of a jilted girl." Teazer said nothing. "Does this have anything to do with Jerrie's antics today?"

"Uh... antics?" Teazer asked as innocently as she could. From her perch she could see Mungojerrie shaking a very irritated Jemima's tail in his mouth. She averted her eyes, but it was too late. Bomba had seen.

"Yes, antics," the older queen answered, smiling knowingly. "Or maybe you haven't heard about them?" She was baiting Teazer, and they both knew it. Teazer sighed inwardly and took the bait.

"Haven't tha sloightest whatcher tawlkin' about," she answered.

"Oh really?" Bomba purred, her tail swishing back and forth maliciously. This was too good. "Well, earlier today, I saw Jerrie practically spooning with Cassandra." Rumpleteazer had seen this. "Saw him with Victoria, too." She'd seen this too. "I also saw him with - "

"Oh really," Teazer interrupted, "Well... if y' think 'at bothas me, y're wrong. Oi dun care a bit." She glanced sidelong at Bomba. "B'soides, ain't none of those queen's mates got nuffin' to say about that?"

"Apparently not," Bomba answered, sniffing boredly. "Actually..." she added, "I haven't seen many of the toms all day long. Except Carby, of course. Mungojerrie rubbed noses with him." She chuckled.

Rumpleteazer raised an eyebrow. Oh dear. "Um... oh." She slumped and stared at her partner in crime. He was heading toward them. "Oh no..."

"Hey, maybe he's finally going to - OOF!" Mungojerrie had run full throttle toward Bomba and head butted her in the stomach. "What's wrong with you!?" she cried, rubbing the afflicted area.

Mungojerrie grinned winningly and headrubbed her. "Aww, I's jus' playin', Bom! Ah ya mad?" He was completely ignoring Teazer. Her brow furrowed and she stalked away.

"Well, I am, but not because of that," Bomba spat, glaring at him. "What's wrong with you today? You're acting like she doesn't even exist!"

Jerrie wasn't too quick on the uptake. "Who?"

Bomba growled. "Rumpleteazer," she muttered through clenched teeth. Mungo looked sheepish.

"Well... Oi... Oi get in these moods, sometimes, y'see... Loike I been in t'day. Last time Oi fel' loike this, Oi messed wif Teazer a bunch. Maybe more'n Oi should've. She got mad an' tol' me t' leave 'er alone. Oi... Oi guess Oi jus' figgered I'd leave 'er alone this toime."

Bomba's eyes softened. Poor guy - he didn't get that there was no pleasing a queen. Ah well. "Oh, Jerrie, you just don't understand queens, do you?" The tom looked at her confusedly. "I mean, we have a very strange way of flirting... when you messed with her last time, she probably enjoyed it quite a bit... and when she told you to quit, she was hoping you'd keep going, to try to annoy her." She was receiving a blank stare. "Do... you understand what I'm saying?"

"Um... no."

Bomba sighed. "Ya see... when Teazer said no... she really meant yes."

"... Awroight... so any toime Teaza says no, she means yes?"

"Well, not any time, but sometimes. You just have to learn the difference."

Poor Mungojerrie was positively bamboozled. He scratched his head. "So, wot should Oi do? Go tawlk to 'er? Er jus' letter steam? 'Elp me out 'ere, Bom."

Bom smiled. "Go talk to her. Apologize. But *whatever* you do, don't act like nothing is going on. Queens *hate* that." Jerrie nodded and headed off to find his partner.

---

Rumpleteazer was curled up on a pillow, wondering what was wrong with her. Did she want Jerrie to annoy her or not? It was confusing. And it was starting to hurt her head.

"Erm... Teaza?" Teazer slowly turned her head.

"Oh... i's *you*," she said dejectedly. "Woddya want?"

"Oh, um... nuffin'," Jerrie answered, sitting next to her, "Oi jus' uh... erm, noice day, today, innit?" Rumpleteazer sighed and Mungojerrie knew he was blowing it. Bigtime. "Oi mean, wot Oi *wanted* t'say was..." he sighed. "Look, Oi'm sorry Oi been ignorin' ya awl day, luv."

The queen huffed. "S'not been botherin' me." Jerrie was confused again. If it wasn't bothering her, why was she acting like this? "S'not my problem if ya wanna go galavantin' 'roun' wif awl them queens. Yer not... er... yer not me mate or nuffin'."

Jerrie thought for a moment. "Well... no, but... Oi jus' thought maybe 'at's wot you was mad at. Oi mean, ya ain't me mate, no, but... we're friends." He scooted a little closer to her. "Roight?"

Rumpleteazer looked up at him. 'The poor big stupid,' she thought to herself, 'He honestly has no idea.' She managed a bit of a smile. "Yeh. Oi guess so. An'... an' Oi guess it *was* botherin' me a bit. Bein' ignored an' awl." Jerrie nodded happily.

"Yep. Jus' loike Bomba said."

"... Wot?"

He looked at her. "Bomba. She tol' me you was upset 'cause Oi 'aven't been messin' wif ya. But Oi can if ya want!" His eyes glittered evilly. "Wot'd ya want me t' do to ya?"

Teazer, flustered, began to stammer. "Ah... well Oi..." Suddenly she glared at him. "Why would Bomba say that that bothered me? Wot awl did she tell you, Jerrie?"

But Mungojerrie wouldn't be stopped now. He pinned her against a wall. "Is 'at really impo'tant roight now, luv?"

"Um... well o' course it is!" The blushing queen answered. "S'very impo'tant! Oi... Oi wanna know wot she tol' you, is awl! You... erm... oh Mungo, why ah ya lookin' at me loike 'at?" The flirtatious tom had brought his face very close to hers, so that they were almost nose to nose. Suddenly he pulled back and grinned at her.

"Would ya rather Oi ignored ya?" he asked cheekily.

"Well theh's gotta be a line between ignorin' me an' molestin' me!" Teazer exclaimed, ducking under his arms and turning swiftly to face him. He continued to grin and began to stalk toward her.

"Not wif me, luv... now which would ya prefer?" He wrapped his arms around her. "Ya know when Oi get in one o' me moods Oi gotta jus' let it run its course," he explained, tightening his grip on her. "An' roight now, theh's no one but you t' relieve me."

Teazer now felt about three inches tall. She stared wide-eyed at her partner in crime and whispered, "Oh?" He nodded, and abruptly, his smile was gone. They stared at each other, hardly breathing. Then -

"I take it the apology went well?"

The two tabbies turned to see Bombalurina walking toward them, smirking smugly. Rumpleteazer made a sort of squeaking sound and detached herself from Mungojerrie, dashing away. Jerrie stared after her, his mouth hanging open. "Oi..." he looked at Bom. "Now wot d'Oi do?"

Bomba sighed. "That all depends on what was about to happen." She leaned on his shoulder, her arms crossed. "I thought you were going to apologize to her, not move in on her."

"Well Oi *did* apologize to 'er," Jerrie protested.

"And?"

"She... accepted."

Bomba smiled. "Apparently." She glanced at him. "And?"

Jerrie stared at her. "An' wot?"

"And? What was about to happen?" Bomba was practically rubbing her hands together in excitement. "Did you tell her how you feel about her?"

"O' course Oi didna tell 'er..." Then Jerrie realized what he was saying. "Wait, wot? 'Ow Oi feel? She's jus' my friend, she is. She knows 'at."

"Right," the queen answered, grinning widely and rolling her eyes. "Don't you think you should be going after her about now?"

Jerrie blinked. "Oy!" And with that, he scurried away.

---

"Well... 'at was differ'nt."

Rumpleteazer had hidden behind a nearby building, and was trying to collect her thoughts. Her last encounter with Mungojerrie had been deeply unsettling, but at the same time quite pleasant. She shivered.

'C'mon, Teaza,' she thought to herself, 'This is JERRIE yer tawlkin' about 'ere! 'E's... 'e's yer bes' frien', 'e's not a TOM.' Then she reconsidered. "Well, 'e *is* a tom, but... well ya know wot Oi mean, roight?" She then realized that she was talking to herself, and sighed, not expecting an answer. "Awl roight, awl roight," she continued, coming to terms with herself, "'E's a tom, an' quite a noice one too, but that don' mean ya go throwin' yerself at him! 'E's loike a brotha to ya, anyways."

She began to pace. "But ya can't ver' well jus' ignore 'im if 'e feels 'at way about *you* can ya? It'd break 'is po' lit'le 'eart!" She stopped. "But wot if 'e don'? Then Oi'd jus' be makin' a fool of meself! Oooooh, this is so confusin'!"

"Tell me about it."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rumpleteazer nearly fell over from spinning around so fast. "Jerrie! 'Ow long've you been standin' theh!?"

"Not too long, luv..." Jerrie assured her, creeping toward her cautiously. "Jus'... jus' 'eard ya tawlkin'." He stopped, about a foot or two shy of her. "You awl roight?"

Teazer watched him apprehensively. "Er... Oi'm foine. 'Ow're you?"

"Ahm... pretty good, awl in awl." The two fidgeted awkwardly, staring at the ground. Then they began to talk at once.

"Mungo, Oi jus' -"

"Teaza, lemme explain -"

And they stopped. And fidgeted some more.

Mungojerrie sighed. "Teaza, Oi jus' wanna explain... Oi 'ope ya don' think Oi was oversteppin' me boundaries earlia... did... did Oi... er..."

"Oh Jerrie," Rumpleteazer interrupted, smiling, "It really didna botha me, 'onest. Oi... it jus'... was a li'l sudden, thas' awl."

Jerrie grinned, relieved. "Ah, well 'at's a breath o' fresh air, anyways." He gazed at her. "So... so 'twas awl roight wif ya?" he asked tentatively, grinning as winningly as he could.

The queen raised an eyebrow. "A li'l sudden, Oi says. Didna say Oi wanted it t' become somfin' regular." Mungojerrie positively deflated. Teazer patted his arm gently. "Jus' give me a li'l warnin' nex' time, eh?"

The tom's smile was dazzling. "Nex' time! Not a problem, luv!" He then proceeded to grab her up in the biggest bear hug she'd ever received.

And... didn't let go.

"Jerrie?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Oi can' breathe!"

"Oh." Mungo released her and scratched his head nervously. "Sorry, luv," he stammered, grinning. "Oi guess Oi jus' got carried away."

With a laugh, Teazer patted his arm again, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Tha's awl roight... we awl get a li'l carried away sometimes. Perfec'ly natural." She sighed. "Oi guess we both acted a li'l..."

"Stupid?"

"Oi was gonna say irrationally, but woteva." They laughed, and somehow found themselves in each others arms again. "Oh, Jerrie. Oi'm so glad things ain't gotten awkward between us."

He glanced down at her. "Awkward? Wotcha mean?"

"Well..." she answered, taking her courage, "Oi mean, we neva felt loike we 'ad t' get... romantic, ya know? We're jus' frien's, great frien's." She snuggled into his chest and sighed.

Poor Mungojerrie.

"Yeh..." he agreed, sighing, "Jus' great frien's."

They stood like that for a while, each hoping that the other would prove Rumpleteazer wrong. Which naturally didn't happen, because at the same time both were hoping they wouldn't have to make the first move. Finally Rumpleteazer detached herself from him and cleared her throat.

She was about to say something, when she stopped. Suddenly she remembered what he had been doing the entire day. She narrowed her eyes. "Jerrie?"

"Bluh?" he replied, snapping out of an apparent reverie.

"'Oo all did you snuggle up ta, today?" she asked, crossing her arms. Jealousy was rapidly washing over her in massive waves, whether she liked it or not. "O' betta... 'oo didja enjoy snugglin' wif tha most? 'Oo'd ya target tha most?"

Poor Mungojerrie. Now he was confused again. "Well Oi... Oi guess Oi messed wif Vicki tha most," he answered, scratching his head. "Why d'ya ask?"

Victoria! Teazer might have known! She was one of the prettiest, sweetest queens in the entire tribe! It was only natural that Mungojerrie would fall for her! And he could use a "mood" like this to get close to her, while acting like he was treating everyone like that! What a perfect opportunity! Oh, he is a clever little cuss, Rumpleteazer thought.

Meanwhile, Mungojerrie had no idea what was going on. "Teazer? Wot's up?"

Rumpleteazer poked him in the chest. "'Fess up, lova boy! Tell me tha truth!"

'She wants tha truth?' Jerrie thought, 'Well, she's askin' fo' it!' He sighed and looked her square in the eye.

"Ya want tha truth? Tha truth is Oi woulda preferred snugglin' wif YOU t'day, Teaza," he said. "Oi woulda preferred to snuggle wif YOU fo' a long time now, but Oi neva 'ad the guts t' tell ya so. Theh - theh's tha truth."

There was a stunned silence as Mungojerrie feared that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. 'She 'ates me, she 'ates me,' he thought, 'She jus' got through sayin' she didna wanna be romantic wif me an' now Oi've gone and ruined everythin'!'

Teazer cleared her throat. "Ahm... really?"

Blinking, Jerrie tried a smile. "Yeh, really." He inched toward her. "Y... yer not mad, ah ya?"

"Mad?" the queen replied, nearly laughing, "'Course Oi ain't mad... y... ya can't 'elp 'ow ya feel, Oi know that." This statement made Jerrie stop. Did that mean she didn't feel the same way? "Trus' me, Oi know awl about that." She smiled.

The confused tabby raised an eyebrow. "Ya do?"

"Yeh," she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck. There was silence, then, "So you don' like Victoria, then?"

"Victoria?" Mungo said, bewildered. Then, "Oh, 'cause o' the snugglin' thing. No, Oi don' like 'er." He gave his partner in crime a quick squeeze. "Any'ow, she ain't as fun to snuggle wif as you."

Teazer blushed and poked him in the stomach. "Ya dahn roight she ain't." After a moment, she said, "Dontcha feel loike we should do somfin?"

"... Like what?"

The queen sighed inwardly. "Well... Oi dunno..." she said, trailing her finger up his chest and bringing it to rest on his lips. "Wotta *you* think?"

Mungojerrie was practically faint. "Er... ah... um... well... ah... Oi dunno..."

Rumpleteazer shook her head and smiled. "Not tha brightest crayon in tha box, ah ya, Jerrie?" she asked affectionately, then took the liberty of replacing her finger with her lips.

Another silence took its place and held, while the two tabbies let this new development sink in.

When they finally broke the embrace, they gazed at each other nervously. Jerrie finally smiled. "Ya feel betta now?"

The blushing queen returned the grin. "Yeh... Oi think Oi do."

~ Fin ~

P.S. Yeah, I know the ending's kind of abrupt... but don't give me any lip about it, a'right? I'm sleepy and it's 11 pm and I've already had enough trouble trying to come up with a title! XD