WAR HEROINE HAS SEVEN HUSBANDS?

Wedding bells are in the air for Hermione Granger, former war heroine and brightest witch of her age! Who could the infamous witch have caught the heart of, you wonder? Shockingly, the list adds up to seven wizards, all of which belong to the Sacred 28 ancestry: Lords Sirius and Regulus Black, Lords Fabian and Gideon Prewett, Lord Rabastan Lestrange, Lord Evan Rosier, and Lord Antonin Dolohov. That's right everyone, you have read correctly; Hermione Granger has managed to bring back seven wizards from the dead, effectively creating a soul bond between the wizards and herself. Although this was said to be an accident, consequently due to a magical object that the famous muggleborn had come across during her job in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department. It seems that the emotional bond has already appeared to seal with the men, as her protective streak has now passed onto her seven new husbands. She is quoted here saying, "I, Hermione Granger, forgive them (referring to said wizards.)" Turn to page 12 to read further.

"Well, that was quick," Hermione said with disdain as she put down the paper that she had been clutching in her hands.

"What did you expect, Myshka? I'm surprised it took them only four hours to come out with the full story, I thought it would take no less than 30 minutes," Antonin growled with a disgusted face. "They're like vultures, I swear. Constantly on the move for more information and gossip…"

"Well, that is their job, Dolohov," Evan snarked back at the disgruntled wizard.

"Rosier," Antonin started, "are you trying to get jinxed today? Because you're doing a great job at it."

"Enough with the bickering!" Hermione admonished them, sending a glare along with her words.
You both are acting like little children."

The two wizards matched her glare but at each other instead, and fought hard to keep their retorts to themselves.

"So, Princess…" Sirius said under his breath quietly, as he leaned in next to her in her chair.

"What, Sirius?" She asked, eyes still fixed onto the paper sitting on the table.

"About what happened at the end of the speech…" He trailed off. "Was that who I thought it was?"

Hermione's gaze never wavered, "I don't know what you are talking about, Sirius. You know I was talking to Ron."

"No," he scoffed, "before that. You know what I am talking about, 'Mione."

"Rita Skeeter? Yes, please do explain, Hermione. I saw that as well," Rabastan said with his bored drawl, the only indication of curiosity being his dark red brow lifting in an arch.

"Who is Rita Skeeter?" Regulus said suddenly.

Hermione let out a sigh and pinched the space between her brows in frustration. "Rita Skeeter is a poor excuse for a witch, and deserves everything that happens to her."

"Happens? So, what, are you going to lock her into a glass jar again? Hermione, think about what you are doing," Sirius said with a concerned tone, surprised that he was the one who was talking Hermione down from making a potentially terrible mistake.

"I'm sorry, you did what?! You locked a whole woman into a jar?" Regulus said with wide eyes.

"No, I trapped a whole beetle into a jar. She was in her animagus form, which was illegal, may I add, snooping on Harry and me. She printed off false stories about us both to stir trouble. It was during fourth year, and I only kept her in the jar for a week at the most. It's really not that big of a deal!"

"Skeeter, Skeeter… Hm. Blonde hair?" Antonin asked.

Hermione nodded in response, and Antonin's tanned arms crossed over his chest. "I remember her. Tried to make a pass on me one time towards the end of the first War. Annoying slag. I would have rather picked up a witch from Knockturn Alley than shag Rita Skeeter." Leaning back in his chair he continued, "seems like a talker, you know? To spend a whole night with her babbling mouth? No thank you."

"No, I don't know, Antonin. Thank you for informing me," Hermione gritted out, annoyed that her wizard was speaking about having sex with another woman right in front of her.

Antonin smirked at her words and the heat that flared in Hermione's eyes. "Is that jealousy that I sense, Myshka ?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and let out a huff.

Antonin ignored the gesture and leaned forward towards her. "Don't worry; I'm all yours now. Besides, I'll be sure to reward you tonight for trapping that crazy witch. You know, I do love it when you get all dark like this, Myshka. Your mean streak is what really gets me hard, my little one," Antonin whispered to Hermione. She couldn't suppress the shivers that ran through her body, and the action made Antonin's eyes darken with lust.

She wanted him to pick her up out of her chair and lay her out on the table like a full platter, tasting her body from top to bottom while she ran her fingers through his hair and-

"We're all still here, remember? Could you save that for later, please?" Evan said with a growl.

Hermione broke out of her daze and blushed when she saw the look on the other men's faces.

"Right, sorry," she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Anyway, don't worry about Rita. I will take care of her soon; I have an idea," she finished with a blinding smile that held a hint of mischievousness.

"But, Princess, she didn't do anything wrong today. Right?"

Hermione stood up and moved over toward Sirius, pushing his seat back and bending over his body to cradle his head in her hands.

"Listen to me, Sirius. It isn't about what she did today. It isn't even about what she did back then. Well," she paused with a conflicted look on her face, "it is a little bit, but that's not the point. The point is that Rita Skeeter is dangerous," Hermione said as she ran one of her hands down his cheek towards his facial hair. Her words had all of the men listening, even though she was speaking specifically to the man she was caressing.

"She doesn't seem like it, but she is, alright? You know what happened during the Triwizard Tournament. You read the stories that she wrote. Her fabricated stories can ruin lives, Sirius," she said with a sigh. "I got hundreds of letters from people who believed what Rita wrote about me, and they weren't just words. Some letters had jinxes and curses attached to them, and I can't let that happen again. Not to me, but especially not to all of you." Hermione's eyes now ran around the room, looking at each of the wizards present.

"There is already such a large chance that any of you could be hurt because someone disagrees with you all being here, and Skeeter's lies will only triple that chance. She's manipulative, and she's one of the best at her job. She can twist words flawlessly, in order to make people believe anything. And when it comes down to Rita's life versus all of yours, believe that I will choose each of yours over hers." Hermione shook her head, "she is nothing, compared to all of you. Do you understand? If I have to ruin Rita to save all of you, or me as well, then I will do it in a heartbeat. I care about all of you, and I will protect you at any chance I am given." Hermione finished, as she looked around the table at each of the wizards' faces. They nodded, touched by her compassion for each of them. Sirius nodded as well, and Hermione turned back to look at his face.

Her eyes roamed over his features, taking in each one to her memory. Once she reached his grey eyes that had been staring intently at her, she let out a small smile. Her thumbs slowly rubbed over the wizard's cheeks, and Sirius felt his body release all of the tension that had been pent up inside him. He craved so badly to lean forward and grab her by her hips, claiming her lips with his own. His fingers practically tingled with the need of feeling her flesh against his. Just as he was about to bring one of his hands up to place over hers, the sound of a throat clearing entered the room.

"So you've done it then, have you?" A cold voice spoke just as Hermione dropped her hands from Sirius' face and turned her body towards the speaker.

Her arms fell to her waist, and she lifted her chin in confidence as she spoke, "Lucius."

The sound of the wizard's cane could be heard as he walked across the wooden floors to stand across from her. "You insolent woman, I told you to hide the boxes, not open them! Did you do it just to spite me, is that it? To throw my valuable information back at me?" He sneered as per usual. "Not only that, but you thought that my own son should know of this mess before me? And to think I was beginning to stand you somewhat."

A voice just as cold as the blonde wizards spoke next, breaking off any other responses. "Mind who you are speaking to, Lucius."

"Oh do be quiet Rabastan, would you? Your brother isn't here anymore to defend your words, so perhaps you should mind your own. We both know who the stronger wizard is here." Rabastan almost growled at this, and Lucius continued. "You would go as far as to embarrass yourself in front of your lovely new wife?"

"You dare speak of my brother in front of me?" Rabastan spat as he stood from his seat, his hands slamming down on the table. "Last I checked, you used to take orders from him, did you not? And where is your wife, Lucius? Cissa didn't feel like accompanying you today? I hear she is quite busy in Italy, these days…"

When the Malfoy patriarch heard this, Hermione could swear she almost saw a bit of pink tint his cheeks. "You are pushing it, Lestrange. Your brother is dead, and I no longer take orders from him, nor do I take orders from you."

"And Narcissa left you. It looks like you've done well all these years, old friend, it's really showing."

"Quite, Lestrange. My son has a boy of his own, and now I can do whatever and whomever I please. I say that is quite convenient if you ask me," he shrugged as if he didn't have a care in the world that his wife had left him, and he was now left alone in his manor with only his ancient house elves as company.

"Quit the damn pissing contest," Regulus sighed quietly in annoyance.

"Lucius," Hermione finally spoke, "you think I did this on purpose? You moron, why would I give you bloody credit for helping me with this whole thing?! I made damn sure that your name was mentioned so that you would be painted in a good light! This is the thanks I get?"

"And my son?"

"What about your son?!" She threw up her hands in exasperation. "I told Draco because I needed a favor from him. Because I needed your son's help!"

"That's beside the point," the haughty wizard spoke with a small flip of his long blonde hair. "I should have been told what happened, from the beginning. You should be thankful that I gave you the information that I did. And you should have done what I told you, not go and muck it up by doing the complete opposite!"

"I am thankful, and I did listen to what you said! It was an accident, Lucius! I didn't crack my fucking head open on purpose like it was for fun. I did everything you suggested, and I gave you a chance to be in the spotlight for helping me!"

"Lucy Lucy Lucy, you are buggering everything up right now," a voice chuckled out into the tense air.

"Piss off Dolohov. I wasn't speaking to you, you brute."

"No, but you were speaking to MY witch. You would be lucky if she brought you back from your grave," Antonin said with repugnance.

Lucius snarled as he looked Hermione up and down. "Doubtful."

Hermione lashed out, not even lifting her wand to throw Lucius back against the wall, unable to move. Her chest was heaving in and out from the deep breaths that she was taking, and she stalked slowly towards the tall, blonde wizard that was struggling against her spell.

After a few seconds, Lucius seemed to realize that he could do nothing more, and leveled a glare at Hermione who stood toe-to-toe with him.

"You think you're such a catch, Lucius?" She questioned, holding back from baring her teeth in anger.

The wizard growled at her question.

"Oh quit the dramatics, Lucius. I am not going to touch you. I just need your attention for a few seconds, alright?"

Malfoy gave her a questionable look, and did nothing but wait for her to speak.

"I have a proposition for you. I'd like to speak with you about it if you can calm down and be a reasonable human being for a few minutes. Can you do that?"

Lucius nodded after contemplation, and a smirk grew over Hermione's lips. "Great! Now, if I let you go will you sit down and refrain from further bickering?"

Lucius let out a dramatic sigh and nodded once more. He felt his body begin to move freely with no restraint, and he was sat in a spot at the opposite end of the table where Hermione had sat.

"Perfect. Now, would you be in the business for a new pet of some sort? Perhaps, a beetle, by any chance?" Hermione said with a smile.

Just then, Regulus' head whipped quickly to look at the witch with a surprised face. "Hermione!"

"Now now, Regulus. Let your wife conduct her business."

Nodding her head towards Lucius, she smiled. "Thank you. As I was saying, I have come across a beetle today that I believe you could find quite useful. Very good at eavesdropping, the first name rhymes with pita, with curly blonde hair, thinks of herself as an immaculate journalist… Ring a bell?"

Lucius almost gasped at her words but settled for lifting a brow in questioning. "You didn't…"

"Oh," she chuckled, "but I did."

"I take back everything I said before, Hermione. What a deceitful little witch you are."

"Lucius, please, you're making me blush," she said in a fake enamored voice.

"And how is obtaining this, pest, a benefit to me?"

"I would like to believe that having her could be a productive asset, should you ever need to keep your name out of the papers, or perhaps, in the papers? Skeeter has quite a sway with her audiences, wouldn't you agree? Besides, it's always nice to have connections within the wizarding world. Unfortunately she just so happens to be a connection that I loathe, and don't find useful. I thought I should at least do something while I have her. So, what do you say? Will you take her off my hands, or shall I dispose of her on my own?"

"Such a way with words, Hermione." The witch laughed at this until the man spoke again, "and we both know that you would never dispose of her in such a true fashion as your words reign. I shall take her, I suppose. No bodily harm will be done, of course."

"Of course," Hermione giggled.

Regulus shivered when he saw the smile that grew over Hermione's lips. He was starting to realize that having the two of them together was not the most comforting thing to experience. Something about Hermione and Lucius Malfoy in the same room gave him the chills. "Hermione, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, it's Lucius Malfoy… I don't think you can take everything he says into account."

"Wait, I am Lucius Malfoy?" Said wizard spoke as his eyes widened, "I hadn't the faintest."

Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Lucius, enough with the sarcasm. It's unbecoming of a wizard such as yourself."

She let out a deep breath and turned, "Sirius, I did say that I had a plan, and this was my plan. I've thought it over, and there is no other option that I can think of. I cannot personally do anything more with Rita, simply because I can't stand her in my presence. Turning her into Kingsley for her illegal animagus form will do nothing, except earn her a slap on the wrist. They will most likely give her a fine, and then force her to register herself. I cannot just let her go; she needs to learn her lesson. Think of it as negative reinforcement, all of that operant conditioning and whatnot. If I punish her for her actions, she will be less likely to re-commit them. So, what better way than to blackmail her in a way that is more intense than just a simple threat made by me? I trust Lucius to handle Rita." Sirius slouched in his seat, his head falling back as if he were asking the Gods above what he could do to get his witch to give up on her "brilliant" idea. Nothing came.

"Do you have a different suggestion?" She asked, "If so, please share with the class."

Sirius sat silently, giving Hermione the answers she was searching for.

"Great, let's continue," Hermione says as she summons the jar from upstairs, and lets out a sigh at the sight of the beetle puttering around the clear jar. With a tap, the jar was opened, and the beetle was left on the table.

"I really would rather not speak to her, but I cannot send her away without saying anything. It's honestly too tempting."

After moving the beetle onto the floor beside her chair, With one more flick of her lithe wrist, the black bug was transformed into Rita's usual form.

"Rita, how have you been?"

"How dare you?! I will get you for this, Miss Hermione Granger. Smartest witch of her age, my tush. You are nothing but a bossy little brat who has yet to grow up," the blonde witch screeched out, her hair a mess and her glasses laying crooked on her nose.

"That's sweet and all, Rita, but the thing is, I really don't care. You may have gotten to me back in Hogwarts, but you aren't worth any of my time anymore. That's why I am handing you over to Lucius. Perhaps you will own up to your misgivings, or not, who knows? I hope, for your sake, that you change your ways because if I see you in my path again, I will smite you. Nothing more and nothing less. That's all I have to say." Hermione clapped her hands together with an elated face. "Lucius, I leave her with you for now. Good luck, truly. We will be in touch. Next time something happens, rest assured I will inform you before I tell your son, just for you. Alright?"

"Perhaps." He said as he stood. "I bid you a good night, Hermione. As for the rest of you- good riddance."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she heard the sound of the floo activating in the adjacent room.

"That went quite well, actually."

"Quite well?! 'Mione, you just gave away a woman. An entire person. I don't think I'd say that was 'quite well,'" Sirius said, shock showing on his face even though he knew what would end up happening.

"Right," she replied, "but also, on the bright side, we no longer have to deal with Rita! I just pawned her off onto Lucius, so now he will have to manage her. That's going to be a proper nightmare if I say so myself."

"You're unbelievable…" The eldest Black sighed.

"You bet your sweet arse I am; Don't forget it," Hermione said with a wink.

Hermione was sat in the library with Regulus; his head cushioned on her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair, both of them immersed in their books.

"'Mione? You there?" Harry's voice softly rang through the room.

Letting out a sigh, she replied. "Yes, Harry. Is there something you need?"

"Uh yeah, so um, can you just come over here please?"

Regulus looked up at Hermione with eyes filled with pity and sadness.

"Sure, Harry, give me a minute."

"Hermione, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, the last time you were there…" Regulus trailed off, not wanting to recount the visit.

"I'm sure. It will be fine, okay? You will know if anything upsetting happens. I need to do this, though. It's been put off for far too long."

"Alright..." He sighed, his eyes closing as he waited for his witch to return to him.

"You called?"

Harry was sat on the couch in the sitting room, his fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. "I saw the papers… I didn't know that you were going public with the information, I guess I was just a bit shocked."

"Well, it had to happen sometime, right? Might as well do it sooner rather than later," she shrugged.

Harry nodded in understanding. "How has everyone been taking it?"

"Wouldn't know. I blocked off mail except for a few specific people. If they send it, it's going to return back to the sender. I'm not having a remake of fourth year if I can prevent it. It's funny though, Lucius was angry that I had told Draco before I told him. We've worked it out though."

Harry brushed off the comment about the Malfoys, acting as if he hadn't even heard her say it. "Ron told me he was there, and you guys talked? How did it go?"

"Went about the same as it usually does. He says something to tick me off, then we bicker back and forth, and then we either come to resolve or end up ignoring each other for a while. He understands now. Well, as much as Ron can understand. He and I are fine."

"Good, that's great. Yeah… so listen, I wanted to apologize for what happened… it wasn't fair of me to just sit and do nothing. I should have stuck up for you. I know Gin-" he tried to finish; instead, his words were cut off by the intimidating witch looking at him emotionless.

"Listen, Harry; I get it. She's your wife. Ginny is just… she's Ginny, you know? She's feisty and irrational sometimes, but… I've always been there, Harry. Before Ginny and you were even speaking to each other, I was there. And I have never once forgotten that, but it seems like you do. Quite a lot, actually. When everything first went down between Ron and me, you understood. You were on my side, and you understood why I couldn't be with Ron the way that he wanted. So I thought that you had finally gotten it, you know? I thought that maybe I had finally clicked with you, and then this all happens… and you just sat there. I thought you understood, Harry."

"I did, I swear Hermione, I-... I was just shocked," he stumbled with his words, his stutters showcasing just how nervous he was.

"You think that I wasn't? I mean, come on Harry. This wasn't exactly easy for me either. I don't want to sound pitiful, but Gods Harry I think I had more of a reason to be shocked don't you think?"

"I know there's 'no I in team,' but damn it, Harry, right now there is! Don't get me wrong you're a brilliant wizard Harry, but you needed me. You and Ginny can both pretend like your love for each other is what got everyone through the war, but it's just not true. You cannot rewrite the past and just add Ginny in place of me. It wouldn't have worked Harry. Ginny is great too, but she was not apart of this. I helped you survive Harry, and to this day I still do almost everything for you. When are you going to do something for me, Harry? When will you treat me like I matter?"

"Now just hold on a second, Hermione. Just because Ginny wasn't there when we were hunting for Horcruxes or when the troll was in the bathroom, doesn't mean that she didn't help out. She was there at Hogwarts when the death eaters took over. She was trapped in there for a whole year, 'Mione!"

"And? So was Neville. Who, might I add, killed Nagini. Where was Ginny? She was fighting, sure, but anything else?" Hermione said cruelly, though she knew a part of her words were truthful. Silence ensued for a short while until she couldn't take it any longer.

"You sit there, and tell me that you are sorry, but only have the guts to stand up for Ginny when I say something that you don't want to hear, yet you couldn't do the same for me when Ginny wanted to have a row. Look at yourself, Harry. You're a hypocrite, and until you can think for yourself, then I don't want to hear your half-hearted apologies. Let me know when that happens, and then maybe we can continue our chat."

"I'm sorry, alright? Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg? Because I will if that's what it takes, Hermione," the wizard said, his bright green eyes looking up at Hermione with sadness, but she couldn't be swayed.

"But do you actually understand anything that I am saying, Harry? Things are only going to get tougher around here for me, and I can't have you apart of this if you aren't going to be all in. And right now, both you and Ginny aren't showing me any of that."

Harry nodded his head decisively. "We will. I promise, 'Mione. Gin and I will do it; we'll back you on this 100%."

"Then prove it to me," she said with finality. Harry nodded his head and watched as the witch turned back towards the floo and disappeared.

Notes:

Here is a random chapter upload. Sorry for being gone for so long, although it seems to be a habit recently. I have no excuses, just lack of motivation and writer's block. I could have written, but I simply did not. I was so invested in this story when I first started it, and now the hype has died down, and that has been a significant factor in why I haven't any motivation. This chapter has been written for months now but was never edited until now. It isn't a gripping chapter, so I apologize for that. Anyway, I hope at least a few of you enjoy this chapter. I am still alive everyone, so don't worry!