A/N: A huge thank you to Phoebe for the super-fast edit.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

Grinch

"Keep pressure on it, Danny. EMT's on their way." Steve forcibly repositioned his friend's hands, making sure they were either side of the fragment of glass protruding from his leg. The wadded up dish cloth slowly turning crimson.

"You're an idiot, Steven." Danny winced as he shifted uncomfortably on the hard tiled floor. His partner knelt by his side.

"So you keep telling me."

"Why couldn't you do something simple, huh?" Danny waved one hand at the plane hanging above him.

"It was fun... Well up until the point when you showed up... Grinch."

"I live here, putz."

"Yeah, and if you don't want to bleed out I suggest you keep your hands on the wound instead of waving them around like a crazy person." Steve grabbed hold of both Danny's hands and pushed them down, hard. "God damn it, Danny."

Danny groaned. "Now I'm the crazy person?"

"You gotta admit this was the best one so far." Steve stood up and snagged a towel off the counter behind where Danny sat.

"Hey, don't ruin my holiday towels, animal."

Steve ignored Danny's protest and proceeded to wipe his hands.

"No, I don't have to admit anything."

"You never do."

"And you do?" Danny glared incredulously up at Steve.

"Always."

"Give me an example."

"I... The time we..." Steve threw the now blood stained towel across the room into the sink.

"Precisely. Never." Danny rocked his head back against the kitchen cupboard, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I guess I must always be right then."

Danny opened one eye, squinting at the array of lines criss-crossing the room. Military aircraft and parachute men hung from them. The different angles giving the allusion of the planes flying at different altitudes.

"This is far from right. Normal people would have simply hung them from the ceiling."

"Do you know how much damage that would cause?"

"Sorry, I forgot since you fixed up Charlie's bed, you're a DIY expert."

"I'm gonna check on Charlie."

"Luckily he sleeps better than his old man."

This is not how Danny pictured his evening. Sat on his kitchen floor surrounded by broken glass and Army guys.

Steve appeared in the doorway. "The little guy hasn't even stirred. How you doing, buddy?"

"How do you think?"

"Sorry, Danno."

"Apology accepted, but you're still an idiot."

"Yeah, but not many idiots could pull this off." Steve stood with his hand on his hips admiring his handy work.

"What, almost decapitating your partner?"

"I didn't even come near to taking your head off." Steve strummed one of the lengths of string running from one door handle to another and a couple of plastic figures dropped to the floor.

"No you just caused me grievous bodily harm." Sweat beaded on Danny's forehead. "Any chance of a drink?"

"Not my fault you didn't look where you were going." Steve carefully twisted and turned his body, occasionally ducking down to reach the fridge.

"My kitchen looks like a scene from Mission Impossible."

"Ethan Hunt wouldn't have tripped." Steve opened a bottle of water tossing the lid on the countertop.

"I smashed my favorite glass. Grace bought it for me last Christmas. She got it personalized. Danno, my dad, my hero."

"Hey, Gracie will forgive you."

Danny chewed on his bottom lip, deep in thought. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I'm real sorry, buddy."

"You could've just taken me to Kings Medical instead of calling it in."

"No, not with a shard still embedded in your thigh, and you know that." Steve squatted down next to Danny. "Here, drink some water."

Danny took a few large gulps of the cool liquid causing himself to cough in the process.

"Take it slow." Steve momentarily moved the bottle away allowing Danny to catch his breath.

"You're never gonna live this down."

"We." Steve grinned.

"Why we? This is all on you, babe." Danny turned his head to the side, refusing Steve's offer of another drink.

"We're in this together, buddy, but this is your house, your kitchen." Steve put the bottle down, and then moved to sit next to his friend.

"Oh, oh, now it's my house? Funny how you've been treating it like yours these past couple of weeks."

"I never said it wasn't, and you love having me around." Steve reached over and lifted Danny's hand. "Looks like the bleeding eased up. Medics should be here soon."

"You tell them no sirens?"

"Yeah, and I called Tani. She's on her way."

Danny looked around the room as silence stretched between them. "Aside from you being an idiot, your ninja skills are impressive. You didn't wake Charlie or me."

"Yeah, your lack of situational awareness worries me. I could have robbed you."

Danny shrugged the comment off. "From now on we stick to flour angels and shoe trains."

"Whatever you say, Danno." Steve patted Danny's good leg.

"Why the Air Force, babe?" Danny kicked one of the parachute men with his bare foot.

"I was saving the Navy battle for Christmas Eve. I guess I won't be needing the boats I stashed in your bathroom."

Danny sighed loudly. "Charlie would love that. You let me help, and I might allow it."

"Yes he would." Steve picked up a green plastic soldier. "He can keep all these planes. The figures belong to Charlie. I raided his toy box when you were both at the store earlier."

"OMG! Elf on the shelf, Steve McGarrett style." Tani stepped into the room and used her finger to poke the elf rappelling down from an helicopter, making him swing back and forth.

"Great, Mrs McGarrett to the rescue." Danny rolled his eyes.

She moved aside allowing two medics access to her downed teammate.

"You have a Chinook and a F-14 Tomcat. What's that one?" She pointed up at the various aircraft dotted around the kitchen.

"F-15 Eagle."

"This is genius." Tani stared up in awe.

Danny looked from Tani to his partner, before letting his gaze land on the two EMTs. "Someone, please, kill me now."

"Sorry, Detective, but I think you'll live."

~ the end ~

Thank you for reading. And to all the elf on the shelfers out there. Only one more night to go!