You didn't think this would just be about Mustang vs Hayate did you?

"Where is the research paper Mustang?! The clerk at the library said you were the last one to borrow it!"

Edward stood in all his fuming glory on the other side of Colonel Mustang's desk, arms crossed and platform shoes tapping in barely contained anger. Mustang sat back in his chair a pen loosely grasped in his hand, paperwork long forgotten.

"Yes, I did take out the paper Fullmetal. What about it?" Mustang asked, eyebrows raised.

Edward rolled his eyes before continuing.

"I need it." Edward demanded.

Edward saw the smirk appear on Mustang's face as he placed his pen down and leaned forward to match Edward's stance.

"Say the magic word and I'll give it to you."

Edward scrunched up his face further in anger.

"I'm not a child Mustang, let me have the research paper."

"I believe the word you are looking for begins with a 'P'." Mustang put a hand around his ear and leaned forward. "I'm waiting Fullmetal." Edward continued to fume at Mustang's clear amusement.

"Do I have to ask Lieutenant Hawkeye to get me the paper?" Edward taunted.

"Jokes on you Fullmetal, she's out of the office for the afternoon. Now say the word."

"I refuse."

"Oh come on. Alphonse has better manners than you! No wonder people always think he's older."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HIS MANNERS ARE THE EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF AN UNEDUCATED INFANT?!"

"Easy there Fullmetal, we don't need all of Amestris to hear about your problems! All you have to do is say 'please' and the paper is yours!" Mustang hollered over Edward's short rant.

Edward took a few calming breaths to bring his temperature down before saying through gritted teeth.

"May I… please have the research paper?"

"There was that so hard?"

"It was excruciating."

Mustang shook his head as he reached over into his drawer to look for the paper. Edward stood in agitation as he watched Mustang go from looking in his drawers to moving papers and files on his desk.

"That's odd."

"What's odd Colonel Bastard?"

"I can't seem to find the paper. I know I left it on my desk."

"Oh great. Now we can add disorganized to your list of uselessness."

"Watch it Fullmetal," Mustang warned as he looked through more of the papers and files on his desk.

"Where else could you have put it?"

"Maybe it got swept up in some papers that were distributed to the team this morning." Mustang got up and lead an extremely annoyed Edward out to the main office area where the rest of Team Mustang, minus Hawkeye, were working.

"Men I have a question for you." Mustang waited for all eyes on him before continuing, "I seem to be missing a research report and was wondering if any of you have come across it?"

The men seemed to share a look before looking through their own piles of papers and files, all coming up empty.

"Sorry, sir." They all collectively said. Edward slumped and rolled his head to the side, trying to figure his next course of action when he spotted Hayate chewing something.

"Hey, Colonel? Does the Lieutenant normally give Hayate bones shaped like that?"

Mustang looked over at the dog and immediately paled.

"Black Hayate!" Everyone in the room immediately jumped at the authoritative tone the Colonel used towards the dog. Said dog only paused in his chewing on the edge of the paper, looking at the Colonel with his big brown eyes, before going back to his chewing.

"Second Lieutenant I command you to release those papers immediately!"

"Wait you gave Lieutenant Hawkeye's dog a rank?" Edward questioned.

"He sure did, he even outranks Falman and Fuery." Breda said through a laugh.

Edward hid a laugh behind a cough before returning his attention to the Colonel and Black Hayate.

"Black Hayate come here and give me the papers."

Edward gave the Colonel an unamused look.

"What have you done to the Lieutenant's dog Colonel?"

"ME?! Why do you think I've done something to him?!

"Because I know for a fact that the Lieutenant trained Hayate well. He wouldn't just be chewing the papers randomly, you clearly have done something to either the dog or the Lieutenant herself."

"That does sound like a possibility." Falman added, only to be shot down by the Mustang's menacing glare.

"The Lieutenant and I have a very respectable relationship and Black Hayate does not determine our standings!"

"Are you implying that there is a more serious aspect to you and the Lieutenants relationship?" Havoc asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk around his unlit cigarette.

"Focus back on the dog who is eating an alchemical text!" Mustang demanded though Edward made note of the rose colour on the Colonel's neck and his ears.

"You know Colonel, you've seemed to have developed an almost rivalry with Black Hayate sir." Fuery commented as he looked back and forth between the dog and Colonel.

"I am not competing with Black Hayate for the Lieutenant." Mustang seethed.

"No one said anything about the Lieutenant." Falman pointed out, this caused the red to travel further up the Colonel's neck into his face.

"Well neither did I!"

The men continued to bicker over the Colonel's anger or embarrassment that they didn't register the knocking at their office door and it slowly opening.

"Colonel Mustang, sir? The Lieutenant has asked me to.."

"HAYATE! NO!"

Before anyone could react Hayate had taken the papers and slipped through under the Sargents legs and into the hallway, Edward's cry immediately snapped the other officer's to attention. Mustang noticed Edward's red coat disappear around the corner after Hayate and immediately followed.

Everyone walking in the halls immediately launched out of their way as Hayate, Roy, and Edward tore through.

"Give us the papers Hayate!" Edward hollered

Roy and Edward would swear that to this day Hayate looked over his shoulder and gave the men a challenging look before speeding down the halls.

"That does it!" Roy looked over and saw Edward's hands clapped together and then him touching the wall, a wall of rock quickly formed in front of Hayate further down the hall.

"Got you now!" Edward yelled, before staring in awe as Hayate easily bounded over the apparently to short wall.

"What kind of dog is he?!"

"Just focus on trying not to hurt him or destroying the Command Centre Fullmetal!"

They continued to chase Hayate through the halls before Hayate took a wrong turn and came to a dead end.

"Finally..we.. got..you.." Edward wheezed. The Colonel in a similar predicament.

The dog looked around before turning his attention to the two soldiers his tail wagging excitedly, the paper still clenched in his jaw.

"Hayate, that is a very important paper. And Fullmetal needs it. Please hand it over." The Colonel slowly approached the dog, his hands in front of him in the hopes of pleasing Hayate.

"It's a good thing you don't have kids Colonel because your negotiation skills suck."

"I don't see you doing anything Fullmetal! All you have done is destroy military property, which means I'm going to have more paperwork to fill out."

"Focus on that after we retrieve the paper! Now Hayate, you clearly won't listen to the Colonel. Could you please bring me the paper?"

"Oh, you say please to the dog." Mustang grumbled.

"Because I spent most of my childhood with Winry's dog Den and because I respect dogs as creatures."

Edward looked over at Mustang's raised eyebrow look.

"Okay I may come off as rude but at least I respect animals." Edward grumbled before turning his attention back to Hayate.

Mustang and Edward slowly approached Hayate, the simply dog stood there. Drool falling from his jaws. Before they could even lunge at Hayate he ran between their legs and back down the hall.

"Where is he even going?!" Edward slumped his shoulders as he watched Hayate slide around the corner.

"How would I know?!"

"The dog is practically yours!"

"That dog has had it out for me since the moment I scooped him up into my arms!"

"Maybe that's the problem! He didn't like being scooped!"

"Just go get the dog!"

Mustang and Edward ran in the direction Hayate ran. Though they couldn't seem to locate the dog.

"Great we lost the paper."

"That's all you care about Fullmetal?! The Lieutenant is going to bring the roof down on me for losing her dog!"

"This day just keeps getting better and better!"

"Could I possibly help with turning this day around for you both?"

Edward and Mustang whipped around and saw Hawkeye standing with Hayate cradled in her arms, the paper secure in her other hand.

"LIEUTENANT!" Both Mustang and Edward yelled in relief. Edward lunged forward to take the paper from Hawkeye's hand but the paper was pulled out of his reach.

"Hey, what gives?!"

"I could hear you two tearing through the halls. You know if you just asked Hayate to, he would have dropped your papers. You didn't have to destroy half of the Command Centre." Hawkeye scolded.

Mustang and Edward exchanged an incredulous look before bursting. Hawkeye merely watched unamused as the Colonel and Edward tried to say their side of the story over the other's yells. Hawkeye looked at Hayate in her arms, the dog looking back at her with an innocent look.

"Colonel. Edward." Riza waited until both of the alchemists looked at her, she waited until they caught their breath before continuing.

"I can see both of you are a little," she paused when she saw Edward's shoulder tense, "anxious so I will give you the paper on one condition."

She waited until both of her boys to nod before continuing.

"I want you both to apologize to Hayate."

"WHAT?!" Both of them hollered, passerby simply continued with their tasks, completely used to the disturbance.

"You chased my dog around the entire Command Centre for a paper that you could have easily gotten from him if you were calm. He was probably scared, especially when you used alchemy on him. Now apologize."

Both Roy and Edward slumped their shoulders in defeat.

"Sorry Black Hayate." Both said in sync. Hawkeye smiled before handing the paper over to Edward who took it with a smile and a not so subtle glare at Hayate before dashing down the hall to find his brother. Which left the Colonel and Lieutenant. The former glaring daggers at the dog in her arms.

"This behaviour is quite unbecoming of you Colonel."

"I think Fullmetal is rubbing off on me."

"I think so too. Now come on, you still have paperwork to finish." Hawkeye gave Mustang one of her small smiles before calmly walking back towards the office, the Colonel trailing behind her.

Mustang sat down at his desk while Hawkeye returned to hers, she set Hayate down on the ground, giving him a few scratches under the chin before turning to her work. Roy glared at Hayate who simply curled up against Hawkeye's feet.

"Lucky mutt"

It's always fun writing Edward and Mustang bicker. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! Remember you can also find me on tumblr purplemaple-xoxo