A/N: This was written for the WonderBat Holiday Event 2017 at fyeahwonderbat on tumblr. I hope the formatting isn't too annoying :)
When I saw Pen Pals as a prompt, all i could think about were the emails that Bruce sent her and the way she emailed back. And then thought, maybe they never got to the point of texting so they just communicate via email. This is that brain-child. Enjoy!
FROM: Bruce Wayne
SUBJECT: New Philosophy?
Saw you on the news. Taking the broad daylight approach, I see.
Does that mean you're not going to take me up on my offer?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: New Philosophy?
What offer is that?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: New Philosophy?
Dressing up like a bat. I said I wouldn't sue.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: New Philosophy?
Still considering giving up the cowl?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: New Philosophy?
Not totally. I am redecorating for our joint endeavor, after all.
BTW, the swatch samples came in. Care to have a look?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: New Philosophy?
I get to lead the team and decorate? Such high praise. I'm honored.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: New Philosophy?
I meant what I said.
Besides, figured your expertise in the classics might come in handy. Available this weekend? I could send the jet.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: New Philosophy?
Saturday morning works. I have a gala at the Cezzane I have to attend on Friday evening.
I expect lunch when I arrive.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: New Philosophy?
Yes, Princess.
FROM: Diana Prince
SUBJECT: Thank You
Please give my regards to Alfred, his cooking is divine. I don't think I've had a more delicious tiramisu. I regret not being able to say goodbye before I left.
I think I've changed my mind on the green. The slate blue with the chevron pattern will work nicely with the warm tones of the wood paneling. I also think the Pieta Grigio gray marble for the floor will tie the two together nicely.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Thank You
Consider it done.
P.S. Alfred says the next time you come for dinner, he plans to make a crème brulee.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Thank You
I'll be back in town Friday night. What is the phrase…with bells on?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Thank You
Yes, that's the one. Do you need the jet?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Thank You
Not this time. The Louvre purchased tickets. I'm looking at an acquisition from a dealer in Metropolis.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Thank You
I can meet you at the airport.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Thank You
I'll bring my appetite.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
SUBJECT: Final Furniture Choice?
Which table did you decide on?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
I like the reclaimed oak table with the walnut inlay. And the Italian leather chairs.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
Drapes?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
The navy Damask. With the pewter gray sheers.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
Ordered. Installation on the 15th.
Shame you won't be here when it's done.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
I could rearrange some things…
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
Send the jet?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Final Furniture Choice?
Perfect.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
SUBJECT: Training Facility
Any preferences on training equipment?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Training Facility
You do realize that 90% of us are meta-humans, no?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Training Facility
Yes.
We should still spar. Training is important.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Training Facility
You wish to spar with me?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Training Facility
I have been curious about how Amazons train.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Training Facility
Hmm. We'll see.
FROM: Diana Prince
SUBJECT: Concerned
Bruce, this is the third time I've put your shoulder back in place. I think it's time you see a doctor.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Concerned.
It's fine.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Concerned
It's not fine.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Concerned
So now you're going to ignore me?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Concerned
No. Meetings.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Concerned
You send me specs for computer equipment I know nothing about when you're in meetings. I know evasive maneuvers when I see them, Bruce.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Concerned
I don't have time to go to a doctor for something that will heal.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Concerned
Stubborn man.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Concerned
Impossible woman.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
SUBJECT: Kitchen
Moving on to the kitchen next. You available to look at appliances?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kitchen
You do realize I don't know how to cook, right? Perhaps Alfred should be the one to decide.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kitchen
In 100 years, you've never learned to cook?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kitchen
This, from a man who doesn't clean his own underwear?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kitchen
Touché.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kitchen
What does Victor say? Booya?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kitchen
I believe it's Boo-YA.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kitchen
Boo-YA.
I'll be there… if Alfred promises to make chocolate lava cake with homemade vanilla ice cream.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kitchen
Whatever it takes, Princess.
FROM: Diana Prince
SUBJECT: Kal-El's Party
I just received an invitation from Kal-El and Lois. What is an engagement party?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
It's a party to celebrate two people who've just gotten engaged to be married. People bring gifts.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
A party before the wedding party?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
You forgot the Bridal Shower, the Bachelor Party and the Rehearsal Dinner the night before the wedding.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
That seems excessive and redundant.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
I don't make up the rules, Princess.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
Will you be attending this Engagement Party?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
I hadn't planned on it.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
We should make an appearance. It seems the right thing to do for a friend, no?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
A united front? What do you buy a man after you bought the entire bank that owns his mother's house?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
I think your presence will be gift enough after such generosity.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Kal-El's Party
You could be my plus one…
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Kal-El's Party
We could be each other's plus one.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
SUBJECT: Furniture Invoice
Why is there an additional $5000 for an antique armoire?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
Are we seriously not going to talk about it? You'll ask me why I spent $5000 on a dresser for my room (a room that you insisted I have in YOUR house) but you won't discuss the kiss we shared?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
What's there to discuss?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
The fact that we kissed. The fact that we never said a word about it for the rest of the weekend. The fact that I enjoyed it. The fact that when I left for Paris, you were nowhere to be found. The fact that I haven't heard from you in over a week.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
You enjoyed it?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
That is all you took out of everything I said?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
It's the most important part.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
No Bruce, the most important part is that you have not said a word to me since.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Why do you only use my name when you're chastising me?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
I do not only use it then.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Yes, you do, Princess.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
I could ask the same of you. You call me Princess when you want to make fun of me.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
I would never make fun of you.
It's like a…term of endearment.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
I suppose you are the only person who calls me that…
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
See?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
I can see you smirking.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Does it make you want to kiss me again?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
Maybe. It also makes me want to hit you.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Could we refrain from that? The last time you hit me for 'me being me', you might have cracked a rib.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
You deserved it.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
I did. And I apologized.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
Yes. You did. And I appreciate that.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Dinner Friday night? At a real restaurant with candles and wine.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
Like a date?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Yes, Princess. Like a date. Pick you up at 8pm.
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
At my apartment? In Paris?
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
I know a romantic, little place on Grands-Augustine. Where do you think Alfred got his recipe for crème brulee?
FROM: Diana Prince
RE: Furniture Invoice
C'set génial! I look forward to it.
FROM: Bruce Wayne
RE: Furniture Invoice
Moi aussi, Princesse.