Ha, bet you thought I was done with this fic, didn't you? Well, so did I. But then I thought of this cool way to explain a time paradox…or a plot hole, you pick. BTW, in this chapter, when I write Italic, the Chao are speaking Chao language. Non italic dialogue is in regular, everyday English.

Yellow, bloodshot eyes stared across the black expanse of the night sky from the window of his present abode. It was almost time for him to go; he could feel it resonating in the Chaos energy around him. Where he was going; he wasn't sure, but he was certain it would mean the life of his Big Person, Sonic.

There were many things Zombie the Chao could tolerate; potential threats to Sonic wasn't one of them.

The white Mixed Breed Chao was getting ready to fly out the window when a small coo sounded behind him. Zombie whirled like a kid with his hands caught in the proverbial cookie jar, worried that the Big People that Shadow had left him with had caught him.

It was worse.

Black, pupil-less eyes stared at him and an ebony, feminine Dark Chao grinned, showing him her pointy teeth. Pointy teeth that only six hours ago had ripped off part of his wings.

Zombie subconsciously hid his wings behind his back and hissed, "What do you want, Maria?"

Maria looked at his wing and bowed her head, seemingly ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry I bit you," she said. "I was having so much fun playing that I got carried away."

Zombie rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the window. He felt he didn't need to go just yet; but soon. He needed to be ready.

Maria continued her apology. "I really like you, Zombie," she insisted. "Really. What can I do to make it up to you?"

Zombie was focusing on the feeling that the Chaos Energy was giving him; the feeling that he needed to go soon. So he dabbled into a personality trait that he'd inherited from his Big Person, Sonic: he made a witty joke. "You could elope with me," he teased.

Unfortunately, if Zombie inherited being funny from Sonic; Maria had inherited Shadow's inability to take a joke.

"OK," she said, rather eagerly.

Zombie hadn't been expecting an OK; at best he'd expected laughter, or maybe even a slap across the cheek for being smart. But not an OK.

"What?" he gawked.

"We could go now," Maria said, her eyes distant with the thoughts of eloping. "We could do it tonight!"

Zombie's mind whirled with conflicting and somewhat confusing thoughts and emotions. The reasons for not taking Maria up on her GENUINE offer of eloping were many: Shadow wouldn't like it; Zombie wasn't prepared for marriage, even by elopement; Shadow wouldn't like it and would be displeased with him; Maria could be bossy at times and she tended to let her Dark Chao traits get a touch too out of control; and most importantly, Shadow wouldn't like it and would kill him dead.

There was only one reason Zombie could see for eloping: Maria, by Chao standards, was hot.

The Mixed Breed Chao grinned and decided that nothing ventured, nothing gained. He nodded, and Maria squealed with glee, and the two flew out of the window, looking for someone to marry them as soon as possible.

The nearest Justice of the Peace lived three blocks over; and his name was Dwaine Riatte. And when someone started knocking on his door, he never imagined that two little Chao could be sitting outside, or that one of them actually asked him to give them an impromptu marriage ceremony.

First off, the average Chao isn't capable of speaking English. Secondly, the average Chao didn't get married by a Justice of the Peace. The fact that a talking Chao had asked him to marry him was extremely abnormal; even in a place that had anthropomorphic super fast hedgehogs and fat, mustached men who regularly competed with each other for the fate of the world.

It was so abnormal, in fact, that poor old Dwaine thought he must have imagined things. "I'm sorry, little Chao, but you didn't just ask me to marry you…did you?" he asked.

"I did," the white, disgusting looking Chao replied. "I want you to marry me to Maria, here."

The black Chao cooed and waved a stubby little paw. In shock, and thinking that this must be some sort of warped, twisted dream brought upon by overwork, Dwaine waved back and agreed to the marriage session.

Amazingly, Dwaine had a blank marriage certificate in his cabinet, unless of course most Justice of the Peace keep blank marriage certificates around their house. Then, the sentence would say, 'Obviously, Dwaine had a blank marriage certificate in his cabinet.'

"Now, who am I to make this certificate out to?" Dwaine asked good-naturedly, expecting to wake up at any minute.

"Zombie the Mixed Breed Chao and Maria the Dark Chao," Zombie instructed, and Dwaine filled out the necessary arrangements. "Do you have a ring?" he asked Zombie.

Zombie chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Well…you see, we don't have one, because we sort of eloped," he explained.

"Oh, right," Dwaine smiled and nodded, wondering just how long this dream was supposed to go on. He cleared his throat and said, "Well, how about we make this short and simple? You, uh…Zombie…you want to marry this…Chao, and stand beside her, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, till death do you part?"

Zombie shuffled. "Death is such a strong word…" he said, seemingly having second thoughts. Maria bared her teeth at him and hissed. Zombie cringed visibly. "I do," he said.

"And do you…Maria…take this Chao for your lawful wedded husband, for better for worse for—"

"Chao!" Maria interrupted, impatient to be on with it. Dwaine looked at Zombie helplessly.

"She said yes," the Mixed Breed Chao said helpfully.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may…uh…cuddle the bride," Dwaine finished, shooing them out of the house, slamming the door, and swearing off pizza before bedtime.

Maria and Zombie gave each other a swift cuddle and rushed back to the house, marriage certificate in hand.

It was time. Maria hadn't been happy that he was leaving as soon as they got back; but it was important that he be there to stop the…whatever it was he was supposed to stop.

Maria, who was furious when he told her she couldn't go with him, finally got him to consent to letting her go part of the way. They were flying around the woods, Maria following Zombie, and Zombie following his sixth sense.

Finally, Zombie turned a corner and the two froze as they saw a massive time portal, just waiting for Zombie to enter. Zombie somehow knew that he had to enter the portal and seek out his future self so they could bond into one creature and therefore be powerful enough to stop what needed to be stopped. Don't ask how he knew that; he just did.

As Zombie stepped towards the portal, Maria grabbed his hand and cried, "Zombie, I want an egg!"

"WHAT!" Zombie asked. "Already?"

"Don't you want an egg?" Maria asked, making pouty lips.

"Well…sure, I guess," Zombie admitted. "But…"

"Yea!" Maria cheered, not waiting for him to finish. "I'm so glad you feel that way. I've already placed an order!"

"WHAT!" Zombie shrieked, but Maria was already gone. Zombie had no choice but to just turn and walk into the portal, which he did rather numbly.

Later, as an angry Shadow stomps out of the Rogue's garage with Maria…

Maria squealed with glee as she saw Zombie, rushing over to cuddle with him. Shadow's eyes narrowed dangerously, and he held up a checkered egg. "Have something you care to explain?"

"Isn't it wonderful?" Maria asked a wide-eyed Zombie. "The Stork delivery service got it here a day early! Only it got stuck in the attic and I had to chase it down! I finally had to yank that stupid bird down an air vent in the bathroom. Why does the Chao Egg service use storks, anyway?"

Zombie could think of nothing to say, but he gave a big grin, just to show Maria that he was, in fact, pleased.

For some reason, his approval only seemed to make Shadow angrier. Zombie was wondering how to best explain the impromptu eloping session to the furious hedgehog, when, wonder of wonder, his beloved Sonic showed up.

"There you are, little buddy," Sonic said happily. "I've been looking all over for you. Oh, hey Shads, cool egg."

"That…Chao of yours…" Shadow managed to splutter, glaring at Zombie.

Sonic blinked, and looked at Zombie. Then he looked at Maria. Then he looked at the egg and the furious Shadow. Then a figurative light bulb went off.

"Hey, looks like you and I are in-laws, huh Shads?"

"Don't. Call. Me. Shads." The ebony furred hedgehog snarled. "I'm going to…"

Sonic suddenly had a very bad feeling about leaving Zombie near Shadow for a day or two. Or fifty. He grabbed his pet, said a hurried, "See ya, bye," and disappeared.

Maria waved cheerfully to the two departing figures and cooed.

"Oh, shut up," Shadow snapped, putting the egg in his pocket. He was going to take it home, stuff it in the back of his closet, and hope it never hatched. Ever.

Maria huffed, then grinned and pulled a piece of paper out from nowhere and handed it to Shadow.

"What's this?" Shadow asked, reading it slowly. His eyes widened, and his face turned even darker than normal. "A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE!"

Once out of sight of the enraged Shadow, Sonic slowed down and wagged his finger at Zombie, making a tsk, tsk noise. "That wasn't very bright of you, Zombie," Sonic chastised. "You really made Shads mad this time. But I get where you're coming from. I bet Maria's really hot, isn't she?"

Zombie nodded happily.

The two friends started walking off, when somewhere, the voice of an enraged Shadow screamed, "A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE!"

Sonic and Zombie froze and gave each other worried glances. "I think we'd better lie low for a while," Sonic whispered. Zombie nodded his agreement.

Atop his perch on Sonic's shoulder, Zombie brooded as the two sought out a good hiding spot to wait out the Wrath of Shadow. Eloping with Maria, all things considered, had not been a good idea.

But, she was hot, so who cared?

This whole thing came about because I could just see Shadow screaming, "A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE!" at the top of his lungs.