Quick note: the italics are flashbacks.

"Hey, it's Seth! Sorry I missed you, leave me some words and I'll get back to you."

I end the call, feeling the pain and sorrow rush through me. Flinging my phone across the room, I sink down to the floor.

Seth is gone.

I lay further out into the floor, slowly breaking, allowing sobs to violently jerk my body.

The one person I love... loved, is gone. The door creaks open and as I hear a sigh, the sobs just become louder. Roman, because only Roman would even try, picks me up and places me down on the couch.

Seth is gone.

"Dean, no it's only storyline! Not personal life, I promise baby," he rushes to reassure me. He just told me about him abandoning Ro and I. He said Roman understands it. "I have to hit you harder, or they'll come after you as well and they won't hold back on you." He lays a hand on my shoulder before pulling me to him in a warm embrace.

"Storyline?"

"Yes."

I pull back from him, the question on my lips slipping out before I could stop it. "So you'll still love me?"

"Forever."

I haven't left our... my house in what feels like an eternity, but really it has only been a month. He's only been gone for a month. I only get up to use the bathroom at this point. Even that was a struggle to do, though. Naomi, Jimmy and Jey, and a few others come over from time to time and make sure things stay tidy, and that I stay alive.

Seth is gone. He was gone and it was my fault.

A knock sounds softly before I hear the soft voice of Stephanie McMahon. "Oh Dean..." Her voice trails off as she sits beside me on the couch, my gaze never moving from the coffee table in front of me. "We did a memorial episode..." Her voice trails off

I can hear her talking, but the words don't register. I feel her hand on my shoulder and it jerks my attention to her.

She lets out a sigh, and I can see her eyes forming tears. "Nevermind why I came here. You take as long as we need. We'll welcome you with open arms, but only when you're ready."

I turn my head back to the table as I feel her weight vanish from the couch. The door shuts and I feel myself break again.

Seth is gone... Seth is gone and I am broken.

"Hey at least he took it easy on you Ro," I joke as we sit around my living room. "He beat me with that chair at least a dozen times!" I playfully elbow Seth who was beside me

"Hey now, I apologized," he laughs along with us.

He softly rests his head on my shoulder as Roman spoke up, "I'm glad they let us bring back the stable. I was tired of you two having to fake being mad at each other."

Seth and I both laugh and I turn my head slightly to press a kiss on his head. "We turned it into a game on several occasions! Remember the ice bucket?"

"Hey, it's Seth! Sorry I missed you, leave me some words and I'll get back to you."

I had called to hear his voice, thinking he would magically pick up and these past two months were just a nightmare. But he didn't. He didn't pick up because some ass... some ass had to get drunk and shoot up the store he went to after we had an argument.

Seth left to cool down, to get some junk food. He went to the store closest to us.

We had yelled at each other. He said he'd be back, and I told him don't bother.

He got shot... he got shot trying to protect someone.

The crowd was roaring with excitement as our fists met in the old shield way.

We walked back up that ramp and as soon as we were out of eye range of the fans, he was pulling me to him. His lips were on mine in an instant, mumbling something about not being able to wait any longer. Mumbling something about his dressing room.

So we went to his dressing room and I'm pretty sure that night, our fellow workers heard more from us than the ever wanted.

It's raining, completely pouring but I don't care. I can't take it. I sit on the wet grass, looking at the slab in front of me, his tombstone. I have visited it quite a bit, starting at 2 month mark. Just to look at it. Just to apologize to it over and over. To tell it... to tell him that I love him.

I see a flash of black before I feel a hand on my knee. I look over and of course, it's Roman.

"He's gone," my voice croaks. "He's gone and it's my fault."

Silently, Roman pulls me into his lap as I begin to sob.

I got him killed.

Vince has finally called, it's now been four months. He want's to know if I'm ready to start working out again to be re-introduced.

I tell him not quite, but I'm almost there.

He says he understands and I don't really remember anything after that.

I heard gunfire, a bit distant, but too close for comfort. I got up and ran as fast as I could since Seth took the car. I ran like hell. I come to a hault, nearly falling on the floor of the opening of the store. There were people crying and screaming but I only saw one person who mattered.

One person who was bleeding on the floor, not moving.

I walk over, not sure I want to see what lays before me. I was right.

Seth was on the floor, eyes open but blank, with a bullet wound in his head.

I scream.

I hear the sirens. I rode the ambulance there and then was forced to pace to waiting room. But I already knew, I just knew. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that he wasn't okay.

He wasn't. He was gone.

"...nothing we could have done..."

I'm on my knees sobbing as I'm suddenly surrounded with people, familiar faces but not the face I need.

It has now been eight months. I have trained, even though I just want to cry. I have trained, even though I just want to lay on the couch. I have trained, even though I rather die than be here without him. I have trained because I know he would want me to.

I have just face Randy Orton. I have just been put on my ass by Randy Orton.

I walk backstage, out of the arena and to my truck.

It's been ten months and the routine of me losing finally breaks as I defeat Bray Wyatt.

I walk backstage and let a small smile sit on my face, before being hit with the feeling of something missing. Someone was missing.

But he is gone, Seth is gone.

I walk to my dressing room and dial his number one more time.

"Hey, it's Seth! Sorry I missed you, leave me some words and I'll get back to you."

"Hey, Seth. I love you."

Authors Note: So, I haven't been feeling to emotionally great as of late and it's really taking a toll on me. So in advance, I'd like to apologize for what you just read. I cried writing it and if you cry I apologize. I just needed to get some of my emotions off and I turn to writing to do that and this is just what came out.