Ben Solo was laying with Rey on their couch, and despite how happy he had been that morning to be in the same position, the cloud of misery and anxiety that had followed him the day before had returned. None of it was because of Rey, who was laying on him and drawing little circles with her finger onto his chest. None if it was because of what they had done.

It was because of what he would have to do.

He had tried to ignore it all the night before, letting himself pretend he could be happy with her.

"Do you still want to run away?" Rey asked.

"We can't," Ben said, his heart breaking. There was nothing he wanted more. There was nothing he had ever wanted more. "Not when it could all be over tomorrow."

Rey was silent, and Ben thought of what that meant. They could end the war tomorrow. They could secure their throne. They could die.

They could kill Leia Organa.

Ben was nauseated at the thought.

He never hated his mother. Even on opposite sides of a war, he still remembered his life with her fondly. Han Solo was the one he resented. Han was the one who Ben would never prove himself to. Though, since Ben had killed Han, he found himself aching for his father. He remembered the time they had shared before it had all burned between them. Han putting Ben on his shoulders as they walked, Han looking on with pride as Ben held his first lightsaber. There had been love between them, love Ben had tried to bury and forget.

Let the past die.

"I didn't want to lie to you," Ben said. "I never want to lie to you."

"Sometimes it can't be helped," Rey replied, and Ben thought about how much Rey didn't know about him.

They had spent weeks together, laughing and bonding, and there was a bond between them that he couldn't explain. But, at the same time, they had lives before each other. Lives both full of loneliness and misery. Ben wasn't sure he would ever learn how to tell her everything.

If she knew everything he had seen and done, would she still stay by him? Or would it ruin the idea of Ben Solo she held in her head?

Ben felt her sadness at being lied to just once, and he was unsure how she could handle a lifetime of darkness.

"I'm sorry," Ben said, startling himself. When was the last time he apologized and meant it? He tried to think back but couldn't, it had been too long.

"It's okay," Rey said. "It's not like you've kept this a secret the whole time."

Ben looked down at Rey then, and saw her staring at the mural on the wall. She was the most powerful person he had ever met and no doubt one of the greatest Force-users the Galaxy had ever seen. But right then, she just looked like a woman who was suffering. He could feel it between them no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

"We don't have to go after you friends," Ben said, and Rey looked up at him.

"My friends?" Rey asked.

"That group in the Resistance. The ones who came onto the Supremacy and led to their escape. They're your friends, right?" Ben said.

"Probably not," Rey said, glum.

"Because you turned?"

"Because I'm not sure they ever really knew me enough to be my friends in the first place," Rey said. "I met them when you first started chasing BB-8, so it was a bit of a whirlwind."

"You're usually not this pessimistic," Ben said.

"Sorry, am I taking your job?" Rey asked, a small smile ghosting her face.

Ben kissed her forehead, thankful to see her smile again.

"I've been thinking a lot about that mural," Rey said, turning her attention to it. The Force users, the light spilling from around them.

"Have you found any information on the myth?" Ben asked.

"No, but I've been wondering," Rey said, and then she propped herself on her elbow. "Maybe it's a prophecy."

"For who?" Ben asked.

"Us."

Rey got off of the couch, then, leaving Ben's chest suddenly cold.

"Look," Rey said, gesturing to the figures. Ben looked at her in confusion. "This is the battle tomorrow. This is Corellia. We're the soldiers. We're the Light."

Ben had grown up learning the Force from Leia, then Luke, then Snoke. And he had heard about prophecies, how vague and fickle they were.

"What gave you that idea?" Ben asked.

"It just came to me. We've been living with this mural for weeks, but it's starting to make sense now. We can't find any myths or history that could be this moment. But tomorrow, we're going into battle. Everything we've done, every choice we've made, it brought us here. To this room. And this mural is telling us the path forward," Rey said, gesturing with her hands.

Ben knew Rey was idealistic. Only someone idealistic would've travelled across the Galaxy in the hope that he could turn to the Light. He knew from their time together that she liked to imagine a better world, a better life.

But Ben doubted this.

"The last prophecy of the Jedi was about Anakin Skywalker. They thought he was the chosen one because the prophecy was delivered before his birth. I'm positive that this mansion was built long after I was born, maybe even after you were born," Ben said, pushing his hair back. "You're overwhelmed and seeing things that aren't there."

Rey frowned, and Ben immediately knew she wasn't going to leave this alone.

"Luke said that Anakin failed in his prophecy. But, Ben, the prophecy could apply to us. You said it yourself, we can bring balance. And this mural is a sign. This battle, we can heal the Galaxy. We-" she swept her hand in an arc over the light, "-can heal with the Light."

Ben thought back to every moment with Rey. The Light had always been inside her, and every moment he spent with her had made the Light within him grow. But had she not betrayed the Resistance? Had she not turned her back on Luke? Had she not cut down that Caretaker?

How could the Light pour out of them if both of them were struggling?

"We're about to go into battle against my mother and Luke Skywalker, the last remnants of the Jedi. I hardly think the Light will come to us in the middle of it," Ben said, sitting up. He found his pants on the floor and began getting dressed. Thinking of Leia again felt like a blaster shot to the heart.

"Ben," Rey said. When he looked at her, she was leaning against the wall, arms folded. "I can feel how much this is hurting you."

"It needs to be done," Ben sighed. "If we do this, it all ends and we can run off and leave Hux to deal with ruling. We would never have to deal with grand prophecies and balancing the Force." Ben looked at Rey, beautiful and determined, and he knew that was his dream.

A life with Rey. An uncomplicated, unremarkable life. One where they could disappear into the background and find happiness together. He would show Rey the greenest planets in the Galaxy, make sure she saw the wonders it had to offer.

Ben picked up his shirt and tossed it to Rey.

"You said it yourself, let's end a war," Ben said.

Rey pulled his shirt over her head, but she didn't stop frowning. He could sense that conflict in her, but also frustration.

"Tell me," Ben said. "You can tell me what's upsetting you."

"I didn't turn for the First Order or because I hated the Resistance," Rey said, approaching him. "I turned because of you, Ben. None of this matters except you. And I can feel that this is breaking you and that you don't want to do this, not really."

"I don't want to do it, but it needs to be done. So that we can be done," Ben said, steel backing his words.

"I don't want to watch you tear yourself apart for a future we might have," Rey said, and she might as well have slapped him.

"I meant what I said. And it will happen," Ben said, and Rey was silent. "Please, Rey. You have to believe me."

He reached out for her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She might have turned for him, but everything he had done since she had called to him on Ahch-To had been for her.

"You don't have to do this. I can feel the conflict in you," Rey said, not louder than a whisper.

"And I can feel it in you, too," Ben said. "Please Rey, trust me."

Rey was silent, and Ben could feel the conflict in her open to a chasm. How long had she felt the same conflict as him? Had he just ignored it all this time? Was he too wrapped up in his own conflict to understand that Rey was going through the same thing?

"Okay," Rey said, wrapping her arms around him. "I trust you."

A sob broke out of Ben. When had he begun crying? Why had those three words meant more to him than her love?

Ben and Rey held each other for several long moments.

"Let's get ready to win a war," Rey said.

x

Ben meditated. Rey laid in the sunlight next to him. It felt easier to mediate with her by his side, granting him some sense of peace. The Force, however, was a mess between them. It was sharp and shifting, like it was in danger of collapsing in on itself. Ben tried calming himself, finding a steady balance within, but not even that could make the Force calm down. Ben tentatively reached down the bond and realized that Rey was slipping further and further into the chaos of the Force… or maybe the chaos was being caused by her. Ben could tell, but it felt like Rey and the Force were feeding off of the discord.

Though, he wasn't exempt from the discord.

As he meditated, memories flooded his mind. Leia and Han, embarrassing him by kissing. Leia and Han, bickering as he giggled and watched. Han, running with Ben on their misadventures. Leia, letting Ben sit on her lap for Senate meetings.

He remembered the way Leia would brush out his hair. He remembered how Leia cried when she dropped Ben off with Luke.

Ben Solo could never forget his mother.

Ben?

It took everything in Ben not to jump at his mother's voice.

Ben? Is that you?

Ben knew his mother had always been able to talk across the Galaxy. She and Luke had done it all the time. She had sometimes reached out to Luke at the Academy so Ben could stay up to date on his favorite dramas happening in the Senate.

But this was different. He had never connected to his mother before. He hadn't even heard her voice in years. When had she become so old?

Ben didn't know what to say to her, or if he should even respond. Let her think their presences brushing against each other in the Force never happened. Go out and force her to surrender in battle the next day.

He knew Leia would never surrender.

I love you, Ben. I wanted Han to bring you home.

Ben felt tears burn from behind his eyelids, and he didn't dare open them.

Say something. Anything.

Rey hadn't shaken Ben's shoulder or called his name or tried to break his concentration, and he didn't know if he would be thankful or furious if she were to do it then. The last time he had been close to Leia, it had been a few weeks before, when he couldn't bring himself to shoot.

She had nearly died in that battle. But Ben knew Leia was strong with the Force and saved herself.

Would that happen again? Would she save herself?

Please, Ben.

Ben couldn't take this. The resolve he had found on the couch with Rey was becoming fragile and deteriorating.

HIs mother's voice was in his head. For as long as he could remember, it had been Snoke's voice. But Snoke was dead and his mother was alive and Ben wasn't sure he would ever see her again.

I'm sorry. I love you. Ben didn't know if Leia could hear him, but he needed to say it. He opened his eyes quickly to find Rey staring at him.

Ben took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

It had to be done. He had to end this so they could have a future. She had turned on the Resistance for him, and he would kill the past for her.

"Ben?" Rey asked.

"I'm fine," Ben said. "Let's win a war."