Note:

Alright folks, I'm going on Hiatus for the rest of the holidays. When I come back I should have the rest of this fic ready to post, and I will resume my once a day posting schedule. Thank you all for joining in on this ride.

Lance's enthusiasm doesn't dim in the oncoming hours. If anything he finds new wells of fevor to draw from. There are a dozen different spots he wants to take pictures at, a little icecream shop they have to grab desert from, and a million other things he's been apparently planning while Keith was blissfully unaware. Keith follows along behind him, smiles when he's cued, and tries not to drag his friend's good mood down.

Sometime after fiftieth time Lance grabs onto his elbow and tugs Keith towards some new thing he just has to see, Keith's cell starts ringing. Shiro's face pops up on the caller Id. Keith hits the hangup button before it can ring twice. Lance may be on cloud nine, but Keith's evening has been dominated with thoughts on the relationship he's already in. The one he now has to do something about.

Lance doesn't do polygamy, one not so subtle question earlier had put to rest that possible solution. Keeping the relationship going behind Lance's back, would only hurt Shiro and he'd never actually be able to keep it a secret long term. There are no other options he can see. If he's with Lance, he has to break up with Shiro. After everything they've been through, all they've overcome, he has to end it.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, trying to keep the emotions locked up, "What was that?" Lance's asks leaning over his shoulder. He's not so subtly trying to see the screen of Keith's phone.

"Alarm," Keith lies, shoving his cell in his pocket, "I need to get home, I have a project I need to submit." He doesn't want to talk about Shiro with Lance. He doesn't want to have to listen to Lance volunteer more opinions on their relationship and suggest ways for him to end it. There are some things that are just too personal to let others butt into.

"Oh! Why don't I come with you then, and we can hang out while you do that?" Lance says eagerly, bouncing a bit in place, "It's been awhile since I've seen your place, after all." There is a reason for that, he likes his space. If he invites people over, he can't just leave when he's tired of talking to them.

"I need to do homework afterward," Keith deflects. His lies feel blatant, but Lance doesn't seem to be catching on. Maybe he's better at hiding things than he thought, or maybe Lance is just bad at reading him.

"I can help." Lance volunteers, "I've already taken most your classes. I can answer any questions you have," Unfortunately, Lance seems to be of the school of dating that ascribes to the in each other's business constantly model of being together. Space doesn't exist for him.

"I prefer to study on my own," Not actually a lie. Nothing is worse than being mid problem and having someone interrupt his train of thought. He gets nothing done when studying with a group, "We'll be seeing each other tomorrow."

Lance frowns, disappointed, "I guess." He says, "I'll come over get you tomorrow then." Barely a few hours, and Lance is already down because of Keith. He can't change his mind right now. He needs some privacy for what he has to do, but damn it, he agreed to this and he's already fucking it up. Lance steps forward and gives Keith a quick peck on the lips. Like good boyfriends are supposed to, and Keith kills his urge to cringe away, "Bye"

"Yeah, bye," Keith waves, turning and walking away. He'll do better in the future, he's sacrificing too much to let Lance die just because he can't get with the program.

The days have grown short with winters approach, by the time he reaches his apartment, the sun has already begun to set. It feels like some sort of metaphor for the state of his love life.

Inside, his history reading is still waiting for him. Open to a page he doesn't remember reading, but he's certain he has. He'll look at it tomorrow. Sometime.

His phone buzzes, text. Keith takes it out. It's Lance. "Great time," "Love you" "Can't wait to see you,". Guess he didn't mess up the start as bad as he thought. He'll have to respond, later, when it's less likely to prompt a lengthy conversation.

Above Lance's message is another though. Shiro had tried to do more than call him. "Saw I missed your call. Everything okay?"

His stomach plummets. Shiro. He has to tell him, but how?

The pressure that's been building behind his eyes while he determinedly tried not to think about this while he walked, aches. If he sees Shiro in person, he'll cry before he gets through the first sentence. If he calls him, the upset will be evident in his voice. He can't do that. He can't tell Shiro its over then advertise his distress. That's asking for a comfort he doesn't have the right to anymore.

He can't break up with him, if Shiro is there. Can't face him, see the hurt, and still say the words. What is he going to do? He has to do this. Lance won't change his mind, and Shiro. God, he's going to be heartbroken. No don't think about that. Shiro will be hurt, but he'll find someone else. He's sweet and kind, and someone else will see that and step in to take care of him. Someone with no one else chasing after them, that can be just for him.

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, presses against the lids with his fingers. Don't cry. This has to happen. Don't cry.

There is only one option, that will work. Shaky fingers and blurry eyes, he types in the short message. "I'm sorry. I'm dating Lance. We're done." He doesn't type "Love you" or "You were good to me" or any of a dozen mitigations, because he's not cruel. Bandaids, tear fast, don't dither and cause more pain for hesitating.

Keith hits send and throws the cell across the room. It doesn't shatter, doesn't break into a million pieces. It should. Something physical should be destroyed. Some external expression for the pain in his chest, but it lands against the carpet with a small thump and Keith slides to floor.

Back to the wall, knees pulled up. Block out the world. Everything is fine. This is for the best. He's going to be okay. His phone rings. Keith breaks. He cries.

Buzzing and ringing is the soundtrack to the growing wetspot on the knees of his jeans. Shiro trying to contact him. Shiro wondering what changed since this morning. He can't explain. Shiro would make it better. Convince him he's got it all wrong, and things are not as bad as they seem. But that would be temporary. He knows the truth, and he can't hide from it. No matter how much it hurts.

Eventually his phone goes silent, but Keith does not. If anything his sobs grow harder. He's ten again, crying for a father to make everything better that will never come.

A pounding on the door makes him jump, wide eyes, wet cheeks, he stares at the wooden block, separating him from the rest of the world.

Another heavy knock, Keith holds his breath. Trying to be quiet. It doesn't matter who it is, he can't speak with them right now.

"Keith," It's Shiro, "Keith, baby, please open the door." Oh god, Shiro's here. Of course he's here. Keith isn't answering his phone what did he expect?

"Keith, sweetheart, please," Shiro's voice is growing quieter, harder to hear through the muffle of the door, "If you're here, please, talk to me." Shiro's voice is like a magnet. Keith finds his legs uncurling, crawling close to door. Reaching towards the knob, before he stops. No, he can't. This is how things have to be.

Keith leans his head against the door. Shiro's still there. He can almost hear him breathing, had he run here? Panicked and worried?

"I know you don't want this," Soft, not meant to carry through the door, then louder, "Keith listen to me, please. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to do this." Yes he does, choice between killing a friend and not, is no choice at all, "

The silence drags on once again. A wooden barrier all that separates him from comfort and the illusion of guiltlessness.

Something scrapes against the door. Shiro's sliding down, to sit on the other side, "I can't stop you, but I want you to know. I'm here for you. I don't care how long. If you ever need me. Call, I'll come get you." He shouldn't promise that. Shiro should give up and go home, but he won't. He never would.

Keith falls asleep pretending he can hear Shiro's heartbeat through the door.

Author's Note:

I've been looking forward to this scene. Couldn't get the idea of Keith having a breakdown while Shiro tried to get in contact with him out of my head. Which is why you guy got to see it before the Hiatus. Hope ya'll enjoy your Christmas holidays!