Oh hey guys! Long time, no write. I'm venturing into Star Wars now as I've recently become re-obsessed.

Disclaimers: The following is in no way shape or form an endorsement of dysfunctional relationships. It's merely an observation that even the greatest heroes have imperfections and even the most seemingly perfect relationships suffer trials. Also, very AU, and probably only a few chapters.

Enjoy. Or don't. Either way, R&R, eh?

Padmé Skywalker rubbed her brow, exhaustion seeping into her bones. As much as she hated being away from her family, the Republic needed her. She had never ignored the call, and it was not something that she could do now simply because she had children. Her sense of duty compelled her.

If she was completely honest, being at the Senate Office Building was a source of relief these days. She felt she could finally breathe, an idea which seemed entirely counterintuitive. The war had ended four years prior, but the resulting turmoil had just begun. Anakin had indeed fulfilled the prophecy as the Chosen One, but certainly not in the way many had expected. Both the Jedi Order and the Sith had been brought to nothing. Palpatine was exposed, tried, and executed for his scheming and his actions. His false war had nearly crippled the Republic, and the vast majority was shocked and angered to learn that the Clone Wars had been a farce engineered by the man sworn to uphold the Galactic Constitution and protect the Republic from such threats. The Jedi Order as it had been known for thousands of years had been a casualty of the war as well. Their stringent application of the Jedi Code had led to their downfall. The citizens of the Republic had quickly turned on the Jedi, accusing them of being unreasonable and unfair to their members. It was believed that their incredibly lofty expectations set the Jedi up for failure, leading to their fall and to the existence of Sith such as Darth Tyranus and Darth Sidious. Love and attachment, for example, many reasoned were natural and necessary elements of life, which in fact served as an impetus in individuals to uphold the very purpose of the Code - to keep the balance between light and dark in the galaxy. Another point of contention was what detractors called the kidnapping of innocent children. Those children were taken from parents a young age, and their treatment amounted to brainwashing in the eyes of many. Those ones called for a change in the system, a change which would allow Force-sensitive children to grow to the age of consent before being accepted for training.

Facing such pressure from the citizens they were assigned to protect, the Jedi Order caved. The Council was disbanded, though some accepted the change less begrudgingly than others. However, the Jedi still believed that the Senate and its Chancellor should not be in control of wielders of the Force. They believed that the allegiance of the Jedi should lie strictly with the Force. The Old Code was still in the process of being reviewed and amended to reflect the changing times and to provide what the galaxy needed from the Force, though popular opinion did much to influence which Jedi were actually allowed to participate in the revision process.

One major change had affected her life directly.

Jedi were now allowed to form attachments, to love, and to marry, if they so chose.

This change paved the way for her to publicly announce her marriage to Anakin, and it was what kept her in office as a senator despite the potential for such a scandal as had never been seen in the Galactic Senate. The Queen of Naboo had seriously considered quietly removing Padmé and bringing her home, but other senators, Bail Organa included, had advocated for the Senator of Naboo. They had been instrumental in guiding the Queen to realize how this development could help propel forward the changes the Republic surely had to undergo, if only the Queen showed support for the Jedi-turned-savior of the Republic and his childhood love. Though Padmé secretly feared that this plan would backfire, the citizens of the Republic wholeheartedly embraced the couple and relished the story of their romance, to the dismay of many in the former Jedi Order.

She shook her head, remembering that tumultuous time. It mattered no longer. Anakin was hers, and hers to claim openly and honestly. He had stood beside her uncompromisingly, refusing to be swayed by any contrary opinion. If not for his strength, they may not have weathered the storm. With a sigh, she thought of how his enduring devotion had shaken her to the core and reminded her exactly why she had fallen for him in the first place.

They were the galaxy's power couple, beloved and held in awe.

Oh, how things had changed.

The paternity of her twins had been kept a heavily guarded secret for a over year. She knew more than a few had their suspicions, though they were too fearful to voice them after the conclusion of the war. In that time, Anakin was forced to maintain surreptitiousness in his visits with his new family. It hadn't been easy, but they had survived relatively unscathed. It had been a mere two years after that when she found out she was pregnant again. Amila, a name derived from Padmé's former Name of State, had been a welcome addition to their family... welcome by all except Padmé herself.

She really could not explain what was wrong, but after Amila was born, Padmé found herself... disconnected from her daughter. Initially, the wonder of this precious surprise tugged at the strings of her heart. Within a few days, however, she recognized a significant difference from the time following Luke and Leia's birth. She had been consumed with the tiny beings who were each somehow simultaneously she and Anakin and brightly shining individual personalities, all rolled into one little chubby bundle of love. She remembered kissing tiny toes and cuddling for hours and tickling the soft flesh of little rolls and deeply breathing in that unmistakable baby scent. She'd had the added benefit of being back home on Naboo with family for the first two months of the twins' lives. The Queen had graciously offered to allow her the standard maternity leave of two years, but Padmé declined, not only wanting to be back in the Senate at such a turbulent time but mostly wanting to be in close proximity to Anakin. He had miraculously and thankfully been able to attend the birth but was all too quickly called back to Coruscant for yet another planetary conflict. Despite the turmoil in her life, she had no problem whatsoever attaching herself to those tiny little beings under her care.

Now... she couldn't wait to get away from Amila.

It pained her to admit it, but she couldn't handle being anywhere near Amila. The constant screaming grated on her nerves. Though she was quickly and easily consoled in the arms of her father, Amila seemed to be painfully aware of the disconnect between mother and daughter. She refused to be placated by Padmé's desperate pleas, shushing, and rocking. Luke and Leia had made it seem so easy at the time. A soft caress across the forehead and a warm expression of love would rapidly soothe either twin. Not so with Amila. With every day that passed, Padmé began to feel more and more that her child was more of an inconvenience than a member of the family.

If she were completely honest, she would also admit that she herself was a large part of the problem. She was becoming increasingly irritable and short, even with the twins - even with Anakin. At first her scathing remarks would bring a look of surprise to his face, but progressively, he became numb to her verbal daggers. She was now accustomed to being on the receiving end of his pointed glares. The worst part was that she cared less and less. Deep down, she knew that she really was hurting him, though he was past the point of comfortably being able to admit it. Something within her kept her from minding or even passing beyond a vague consideration of his feelings.

Nothing they could possible throw at her in the Senate could compare to the misery awaiting her at home.

What once had been a safe haven had gradually become a sort of purgatory, though she wasn't quite sure for what she was being punished.

Oh, but there could be many possibilities.

She couldn't think of that at the moment. There was so much work in front of her. Particularly of interest was the bill she was currently supporting which would hopefully ensure quality healthcare for all citizens of the Republic, rich and poor. These things had to be her priority right now. Her husband understood. He had to know. He himself was pulled in all directions as one of the leaders of the new Jedi system. At any rate, it was hardly as if he was constantly present. The children were left in the competent care of Elay, a Coruscanti nanny who had come highly recommended by several other senators. She was hardly inexpensive, but Padmé felt Elay's experience and reliability was well worth the investment. She was certainly worth the peace of mind.

Padmé sighed, finally conceding that it was very unlikely she would get much work done in her current emotional state. Glancing at her holocomm for more than a brief moment, she considered contacting Elay to check on the children, less because she was genuinely interested in the welfare of her children and more because she felt that was what she was supposed to do as a mother. Shaking her head, she tapped her holocomm and did something she had not done for quite some time.

He answered quickly and seemed genuinely surprised when he did. "Is everything okay?" he queried immediately.

"Everything is fine," she assured her husband, slightly sorry to realize just how unaccustomed he had become to hearing from her during working hours. "I just..." Suddenly, she was at a loss for words. What could she say to explain her sudden and unexpected midday call? She didn't quite understand, herself, what had prompted this contact.

"Are you okay?" he pressed further, getting directly to the point.

Reflexively, she nodded and put on a smile. "Yes, I'm fine. I suppose... I suppose I just wanted to speak with you."

"Oh." He now seemed quite dumbfounded, and she felt foolish, regretting her decision to reach out to him. In all likelihood, he had no desire to even hear from her.

"But if you're busy-" she offered as an excuse, should he wish to terminate the transmission.

"No, no," he denied, "it's all right, actually."

"Oh, okay, good."

They sat in silence for an agonizing moment which seemed to stretch out forever but probably lasted only several seconds. And then they both began to speak at once. Blushing, Padmé told him, "You go on first."

He gave her that lopsided smile, and her heart skipped a beat. She hadn't realized he still had the ability to make her insides do somersaults. "I was just saying that Ayana and I just finished sparring practice between these relentless and boring meetings."

Padmé gave him a small smile in return. Ayana Bal had been discovered just a year and a half ago on Nar Shaddaa. Growing up outside the Republic, she had never been formally trained as a Jedi despite being Force-sensitive. As a testament to her strength in the Force, she had managed to teach herself quite a few tricks, which was how she had been discovered during a diplomatic mission to Nal Hutta's moon. Senators who had pressed for a change in the Jedi Order had enthusiastically advocated for her being trained in the ways of the Force. They felt she could offer a fresh perspective for the Jedi and perhaps be a positive influence. It was thought that Anakin, being a stark representation of the long-awaited Jedi revolution, would be the best instructor. It seemed to be the case. Ayana had made astounding progress, surprising even Anakin. Padmé knew the Jedi needed all the help they could get in order to rebuild.

"How is your practice going?" she prodded, encouraging him to continue the conversation.

Anakin nodded. "Very well. She continues to make progress. She seems to be particularly fond of Shien So." Padmé had to ponder for a moment before recognizing Shien So as Form V of lightsaber combat. She silently congratulated herself on remembering at all.

"I am glad to hear it," she said sincerely. "That is excellent news."

"It is," he agreed, a tell-tale smirk spreading across his features. "Too bad she's no match for a real Jedi Master." This insult elicited an indignant cry from an invisible bystander and earned him a solid punch on the shoulder. His laugh made Padmé smile. Typical Anakin. Completely incapable of being serious and wholly unable to resist the opportunity to cast a barb, especially at a friend.

"You should be careful, Ani," she teased, "for she may just show you up one day. And then you will have to eat those words."

Her husband shook his head amiably. "Oh, I certainly doubt that." He turned his attention to the side, to something or someone she could not see. His eyes became focused on the distraction, so she didn't even attempt to recapture his consideration for the moment. At last he trained his eyes on her once more. "I should go. There's another meeting soon. Jocasta Nu has taken another research project upon herself, and she would like to present her findings. I can only imagine what fascinating topic she's chosen for today's exposition."

The smile Padmé offered was half-hearted now. He'd just answered his comm, and now he was ready to end the conversation. This was becoming rather typical of their interactions, though, so she shouldn't be surprised in the least. The sensation of rejection still nipped at the back of her mind, unbidden and unwelcome. "I understand. I don't want to hold you."

With an inclination of his head, he made motion to conclude the transmission, but he stopped short. "Was there something you needed? I don't mean to cut you off."

Padmé waved a hand at him, forcing the smile to remain on her face. "It's nothing important. It can wait," she affirmed, unwilling to divulge her true feelings. Showing vulnerability, admitting to her need for him... she loathed to think of it. Once long ago, she would have easily spoken her heart. That ease of communication had somehow gotten lost along the way. Besides that, there was a witness present, and this was hardly the time to start mending their marriage.

"All right," he replied, "I'll see you at home tonight." She nodded in response, and he terminated the connection. She sighed, trying not to think about the time when that statement would be succeeded by the endearment "my love," the time when the conversation was not over before they had expressed their affection for one another. Those days were gone. This was her life now, and there was no sense dwelling on the past.

Chiding herself for allowing her to be unnecessarily distracted, she returned her attention to the matters at hand. This bill was of supreme importance. It simply had to pass.

Anakin chuckled to himself as he tucked his holocomm away, remembering Ayana's snide remark about the old Jedi librarian who would be presenting at the next meeting. He was quickly growing tired of these endless discussions which seemed to get them absolutely nowhere. There still was no formal order of the Jedi, and even if there was, the simple issue of deciding on a name for the group of Jedi was a whole barrel of skekfish in itself. No one wanted to reach inside that barrel.

He looked up at his companion with a smile. "You ready for a nap? I hope you brought a pillow."

Ayana pointed a look in his direction, a look he could interpret all too well. "I would rather cuddle with a Gaxxan brain slug," she said dryly, hands on her hips.

Anakin threw back his head and laughed at her absurd remark. "I should think that would be a very short cuddle, and a different sort of nap," he rejoined, earning a raised eyebrow and a smirk from Ayana.

"I'm sure," she murmured, casting her eyes down and kicking at some imperceptible spot on the floor. "I can only imagine."

He eyed her quietly for a moment, then stood abruptly. "Well, we ought not be late. Jocasta Nu will surely hunt us down if she has to. This information is of paramount importance," he intoned, making what turned out to be a very poor attempt to mock the librarian's verbiage.

In response to this pitiful effort, Ayana let out what could only be described as a cackle. "You sound nothing like her," she laughed.

"Well, I tried," Anakin countered, hoping his mild chagrin was not too obvious on his visage.

"Mhm," was Ayana's gentle taunt in return. "Better next time, Master Jedi." With that, she strutted confidently out of the sparring arena, arms swinging. Anakin followed behind.

R&R. Observe. Postulate. Criticize. Discuss.

Since I'm obsessing, I probably will update soon like. Probably.