Chapter 41 – A Wedding

"Al, just stay calm," I was saying, but Al bristled back at me.

"I am calm!"

"No, you're not," I told him. "And it's still my job to get you up that aisle!"

He turned to face me. "Joe, I am walking up the bloody, aisle… sorry, sorry… I AM gettin' married – today," he hissed softly. "And the only thing that's makin' me nervous is YOU acting like a fool."

A fool? Was I? "Sorry Al, only… only… well, things can happen at weddings." And didn't I know it.

Al raised an eyebrow at me. "Right." He pushed me into a chair in the Curate's office. "Sit; right there, and don't you move."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Sure, right, fine."

He went to a mirror on the wall and examined his tie. I thought it went well with his new blue suit.

"Lookin' pretty sharp, there," I told him.

He nodded. "This suit cost a packet, but…" he shrugged. "I want to look my best."

"I'm sure Morwenna will be lookin' brilliant. You see the dress?"

"Just a photo. She wouldn't put it on for me. Bad luck or sumpthin'."

"Women can…uhm…"

Al stared at me in the mirror grumpily. "Don't you say it."

"Be… particular, is all. They have their ways."

Al sighed, and then laughed. "And God luv 'em for it."

I got up and clapped him on the back. "You know, Al, I think you two will be just fine."

He smiled. "Yeah. I think so too." He held out his hands and they were trembling slightly. "Guess I am a bit nervous."

I shrugged. "Happens."

"How is Molly?"

"Still in hospital, but on the mend. Clair, that is her mum, said she ought to stay with her. Miss the weddin'."

"Too bad," Al said.

"Yeah, too bad. Still best that mum keeps daughter under her care."

000

I had dusted off the keys and played a few runs just to limber up my fingers. The Curate walked over. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Tishell."

"And a good day to you as well, Curate! The church is looking lovely. The flowers are just so, oh… perfect."

"Yes, yes, the Women's Auxiliary has done a fine job."

I inspected Rosie Edwards, who was dressed in her finest robe. "You'll do just fine."

She bit her lip, but then smiled. "I hope so."

"Like falling off a log, I am sure."

"This is my first actual wedding. As we discussed, the other one doesn't count."

"No," I agreed. "But this one will go famously! Do not be anxious about anything."

She smiled. "Just so. Philippians 4:6."

"Oh, you do know your Bible," I teased and gave her a wink.

Rosie chuckled. "I'll just… check on things."

I watched as she went to her office and peeped in at the men, and then she went down the side aisle towards the choir room. I sighed contentedly. I'd got a glimpse as Morwenna came in and she looked brilliant. Her dress was just perfect, and she wore it with a great sense of solemnity, as was befitting your marriage. I flashed back to my own. Oh, dear, now I was running a tear.

Don't ruin your makeup, Sal, I heard Clive say in my head.

"Yes, Clive, I won't," I said aloud, hoping no one heard me, but the sanctuary was still empty. No guests yet, but no, I'm wrong. Bert just came in escorting Ruth Ellingham, and there she has James Henry with her! Oh, what a dear poppet he is!

000

"How do I look?" Morwenna said.

"You look sweet and beautiful," I told her.

She peered at herself in a wall mirror. "And I don't look…" she poked at her waistline.

"No, no, you're fine." Not quite showing in the dress, for the higher waistline tended to hide things, but she was getting busty.

The girl shook her head. "Well at least I'm gettin' married before the baby's born!" she laughed.

Automatically I felt my face my go slack and my heart lurched a little.

Morwenna's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes went wide. "Oh God. I am sorry, Louisa! Did I just blurt that out?"

One of the top three embarrassments of my life was having a baby out of marriage. I shook it off. "No problem. Past."

"But you and Martin are married now."

I felt my left-hand fingers clench around my wedding ring, but I reached out to Morwenna to adjust her veil. "You are so beautiful."

Morwenna started to cry. "Am I?"

I handed her a tissue. "Yes, you are."

The door opened just then and her mum walked in. "Oh here you are!" Tara said. "My little girl. Hello, Mrs. Ellingham." She peered at Morwenna. "Oh don't you cry. Happy tears, those must be."

Morwenna dabbed at her eyes carefully. "Yes… yes… oh mum."

Tara carefully put her arms around her daughter. "Oh Morwenna just look at you, all grown up."

Morwenna sighed. "I am glad that you and Dad came."

"Well how could we miss our little girl's wedding day?" Tara answered as she let her daughter go.

I thought about my parents. Dad was incarcerated and Mum was back in Spain doing whatever she was doing when I married Martin. I'd always been close to my Dad, but Mum and I were not. "I love your dress, Mrs. Newcross," I said to Tara. She wore a pale blue dress which suited the mother of the bride.

She answered me, "I found this online in a shop up in Exeter. Luckily it fit when it came by Post." She looked me over. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for my daughter."

I ducked my head. "She's more than just Martin's receptionist."

"Did I tell you that Louisa got me the job?" Morwenna piped up. "And she's become a good friend to me." She touched my hand. "And me to her, I'm thinkin'."

"Thanks right," I said. "Ah, I hear the prelude music starting."

000

"Ruth, the church is fillin' up," Bert said to me. "A good turn out so far."

I craned my neck around. "So it is." I turned to James Henry who was sitting next to me. "Now James, as I said to you earlier, we must be good and stay quiet here in church."

The child was cuddling a toy dinosaur and a soft blanket, while sucking on a dummy. I knew that Martin hated dummies, but the way that James had been acting lately with obvious mouth pain of teething there was nothing to do, but to 'go with the flow.' James looked up at me, his eyes, dancing, then he pulled out a soft book from who knows where and began to flip through the pages. He pointed to the pages as he did.

"Yes, James, that is one dinosaur," I whispered when he turned the page, "Two dinosaurs."

"You ever want to get married Ruth, I mean I know you didn't do the deed, right?" Bert interrupted.

"Yes I was never married," I said.

"But did you? Want to get married, that is?"

I sighed. "Once or twice."

He nodded. "I knowed my Mary since we was kids. Schoolmates as well. So I asked her straight off when I turned 18. She laughed."

"Laughed?"

"Nervous - like, you know. But then she said yes. She was only seventeen. He dad wasn't so keen on me, but I was already in the trade – workin' for my dad – plumbing. Steady work. But after a time he come around."

"How old were you when Al was born?"

"Oh, let me see, almost thirty." He sighed and then whispered. "We… well, you might say we had problems."

"Yes, infertility is an issue with many couples."

His mouth fell open, then he closed it. "Well…"

"It's none of my business, Bert, and it was very long ago."

He nodded. "Good enough then."

I'd heard a rumor or two that Bert and 'his Mary' had relationship problems back then, and then she died soon after Al was born. "I imagine that your wife was a rather nice person."

Bert smiled. "Oh Lord love her she was; just like an angel, and pretty too. Al takes a lot after her." He chuckled. "You can't say that he takes after me," he finished and poked his ample girth, "as you can see."

"She'd be very proud of what you have done – raising such a fine young man."

He dug out a kerchief and wiped his eyes. "Now Ruth I promised myself I would not shed a tear today, and now you've made me do it!"

Tears of happiness and sorrow; funny that, all at once. Yes I had wanted to marry, but the pain it would have caused my friend's family would have been more than I wished to visit on anyone. "Come now Bert, buck up. Curate Edwards has just gone to the front of the church, so I believe the show is about to start."

Bert put his kerchief away, composed himself, and then touched his tie. "How do I look?"

"Very nice, Mr. Large."

"And you as well, Dr. Ellingham."

000

"Oh, come on! No, no, NO! Move it!" I shouted as the sheep meandered back and forth in front of my car. "Blasted farm animals," I added. There must have been forty of the beasts filling the lane from side to side. I laid on the hooter to no effect, for they just ambled slowly along en masse.

I blew the horn several more times until I heard a shout.

"Stop! Stop that bloody noise!" a man's voice came from over a hedge. A raffish person carrying a crook pushed through the shrubbery, followed by a dog of some sort. "That's better," he added when I quit leaning on the horn button. "I'll shift these soon enough, mate!"

The shepherd began to whistle and call, while the dog hustled to and fro, harrying the sheep to make them go faster. The man pushed through the mob and then ran ahead, reaching a gate built into the hedge. I watched as he lazily swung it open, and then directed the animals through it.

All I could do was sit in the car, stare at my watch, and fume with irritation. Finally the smelly animals were back in the field, the gate was closed, and the man gave me a cheery wave. "Sorry about that!" he exclaimed.

Stifling a curse, I mashed on the accelerator for I was running late, and Louisa, and for that matter, Morwenna and Al, would never forgive me if I missed the wedding. But the real problem was getting called out to a remote farm where the farmer had managed to fall off a wagon and break his arm. "Stupid fool," I muttered. The dash clock marked the top of the hour just as I reached the church. That farmer could just as easily figured himself out his arm was broken and gotten himself to hospital! No need to call me MILES out of the way to diagnose him with one look, then strap him up in a sling. "Idiot!" I yelled as I beat on the steering wheel in anger.

Finally, I parked at the church and vaulted out of the car. I gave my shoes a cursory wipe on the turf (stupid farmer with a vile and dirty farmyard!), and then trotted to the church door. Organ music was blaring forth and I got a rear view of Morwenna as she went up the aisle with her father.

Everyone was standing so I had little time. "Just in time," I muttered, as I quickly walked up the side aisle and slid into the pew next to James Henry.

I was just in time to witness Morwenna's father hand his daughter off to Al, and then Louisa took a bouquet from the bride. Louisa turned her head and saw me, and I saw a look of happiness replace the one of anxiety which had been there.

"Yes, I am here," I muttered to myself. "Told you I wouldn't be late."

My aunt leaned over and whispered. "Here at last, I see."

000

Oh, and here comes Martin! Thank God. I took a deep breath and tried to put a real smile on my face as I held Morwenna's flowers. The baby rolled over, or something, so I just had to turn my head and catch Martin's eye. He looked back at me quizzically, but the smile I had on my face was genuine. Oh Martin, I love you so, twenty kinds of crap and all.

I then gave all my attention to the wedding service, which was just about to get to the good part.

000

Morwenna's hand felt cool and dry in my fingers, but mine was damp with perspiration. I'd dried them best I could on my trousers, while Joe and I watched Louisa and Morwenna come up the aisle, but it kept oozing out like a river. Nervous, Joe kept asking. Oh, Hell yes. The Curate gave us a smile and maybe that steadied me a little.

I threw my shoulders back, glanced at Morwenna and she looked a bit stiff. I rubbed her fingers and she responded with a quick squeeze. Steady on Mor' we're in this together and you are my sweetheart, now and always.

000

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, but my heart was banging away like a drum. Al held my hand sweetly. My word his hand was wet. Poor man, nervous as Hell. But I am as well. Me? Getting married? The baby thumped, but I knew that I was marrying Al not because I was pregnant; but because we loved one another. I gave Al a little grin, then turned my head to face the Curate. You and me Al Large – now and forever. Let's do this!

000

From my seat at the organ I could see everything. Best seat in the house; of God, of course. Curate Edwards looked rather happy, but also relaxed as she faced the congregation. She'd had a rough patch, but don't we all, from time to time? I caught a glimpse of Dr. Ellingham as he lifted up his son and held him closely. He took the little tyke's hand and made him wave to his mummy.

How many times had Clive tried to talk me into motherhood? Hm? A hundred? A thousand? I sighed. Him working on the rigs in the North Sea was a very good excuse, for I couldn't see myself raising a child all by myself while my husband was away. At least that's what I told myself. But I knew the real reason; two actually. There was Clive… the way he was… and the way I hadn't loved him the way I ought to have done. The other was I think I was afraid of all the complications of being pregnant – nausea, swelling, huge weight gain, blood clots… I stopped there. The past was the past; no going back. What's done is done.

I lifted my head to see Dr. Ruth Ellingham giving me an inquiring look. I gave her a smile, for her sake, if not mine.

000

Al seemed rather controlled now, but maybe he had always been; it was me being all weird? Same church, same people mostly, but one in particular was missing. Ah well, let it go Joe, I thought. Maybe… I heard a footfall back in the church so of course I had to look. Clair Davey was just creeping inside and seeing her gave my spirits a lift.

I suppose she felt Molly was well enough to leave her for a little while. When Clair saw me looking her direction, she gave me a happy little wave.

Thank God! A break in the gloom. There was at least one person who I made happy!

I stood taller, and turned to face the Curate. Now to get Al and Morwenna married! Must remember to save a piece of wedding cake for Molly as well!

000

I watched as my daughter – no, our little girl – stood next to her fella, arrayed in white, a vision of loveliness. Jack squeezed my hand and I returned it. We'd wasted too much time doing 'good works', helping those in need far away, when right here – back home – our own family was hurting; missing us. How could we have been so blind? I'd said as much to Jack last night and he agreed with me. Surely there are plenty of other needs to be filled in our own Cornwall?

Changes to be made, Tara, and with a little one on the way, wasn't it only fit that child get to know their grandparents?

I saw Jack weeping, so I gave him a tissue. Why is it the men who always cry at weddings and births?

000

As James squirmed in my arms, I felt myself thinking about life – new life – babies, children, all that. My and Louisa's love for one another gave us this little man I was holding, and soon enough another child of ours will be here. Love – what is it? Biological? Hormonal? The wash of tides and instinct? Or is it something from a higher plane?

I peered around the church. I wasn't so keen on religion, yet there must be something that made people build these buildings, and pass down stories of the long ago – parables, legends, and mutated histories of people and places. Well, I thought, so be it; but I'd never really grasp it.

I found myself looking not at the wedding couple, but at the tall brunette standing to Morwenna's left, who despite all the grief and confusion, and dare I say outright meanness, I'd sent her way, had never given up on me. I'd recently accused her of seeing the good in people. Well, somehow she must have seen the good in one grumpy and repressed village doctor, and thank you God for it.

I love you Louisa, and all the ways in which you have made me a better person, so I gave James a quick kiss on the head.

000

I surveyed the congregation and the church was filled. Well here we all are. Family and friends, villagers, and newcomers. Just as it should be. 'When three of you are gathered in my name…' Just as it should be at a wedding; the creation of a new thing, forged of the will of both man and God.

A new thing – yes, a new thing – even for me. I'd washed up on this shore like a piece of flotsam, cast upon the rocks of Portwenn with all my sorrow and anger. But I had made connections. I glanced at Sally Tishell. Yes, I would admit, even friends.

Now, Rosie, let's really get this wedding started!

I squared my shoulders and began to speak in loud and clear tones. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony…"

- THE END -