Chapter 1

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When Milburn Drysdale returned home from work his wife Margaret ran up to him frantic, rambling incoherently about their neighbors. Mr Drysdale silently wondered "Why do I bother coming home? I'm always happiest at the bank. She can't divorce me unless it's for abuse or adultery. I should just live at the bank."

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Drysdale: What is it now Margaret?

Margaret: It's those awful hill people again. Even you'll have to support them being evicted after this.

Drysdale: That's not likely.

Margaret: Do you love them more than me?

Drysdale: I don't think you really want an answer to that.

Margaret: That young woman, Ellie May, I can't bring myself to say it.

Drysdale: My god, she's not hurt is she?

Margaret: She threatened to hurt me.

Drysdale: But she's okay?

Margaret: She challenged me to a duel.

Drysdale: If it's a cooking challenge, I'd accept. You're about evenly matched with her on that.

Margaret: I mean she challenged me to pistols at dawn.

Drysdale: You're serious, this is awful.

Margaret: Finally, you grasp the seriousness of this.

Drysdale: Ofcourse this is serious. I'll go over and talk to Jed immediately, try to stop this whole thing.

Margaret: Thank you Milburn.

Drysdale: No thanks are neccessary. I'll never let any member of the Clampitt family go to prison for killing you.