Sorry for the long delay in between posts. I've tried to get away from the A/N before my stories lately, but I feel I must explain my absence. Not to get too bogged down in the details, but I find myself out of work through no fault of my own. The company that I have worked for diligently and happily for the past six and a half years suddenly decided to declare bankruptcy...January 2nd...with no warning and no remorse. To say that I was taken by surprise is the understatement of the fucking century. They changed the locks before I could even get my personal belongings out of my store. So...my muse has been decidedly persona absentia for the past month or so. Anyway...thanks for hanging in there with me. I never stopped thinking about this story.

Chapter 17

Maura lay on her back, hands folded across her stomach, head turned toward the bathroom, absentmindedly fingering the buttons on the front of her pajama top. She had a slight smile on her face and her eyes were bright and shining. Even though she couldn't see Jane directly, she could hear her and could see her shadow dancing on the ceiling as she washed her hands and then began methodically brushing her teeth.

Jane finally completed this process with a loud and overly dramatic gargling of Maura's mouthwash at the end, the detective never bothering to bring hers over from her apartment, knowing that the doctor didn't mind if she used her own.

Maura rolled her eyes and snickered to herself as Jane spit into the basin and then voiced aloud… "Ahhhh…minty, yet...not too minty."

The water ran again and Maura presumed Jane was rinsing out the sink, a ritual that Maura performed after every use, her training as a doctor dictating her cleanliness.

She was surprised and pleased that Jane had picked up this habit, even though she had her own basin, the master bathroom already completely equipped for two.

It might work in her favor when she asked Jane to move in with her, her reasoning twofold.

The first being that Jane obviously would need her own space and the second that cleanliness was the ideology that the doctor based most of her adult life upon.

However, she'd never really had many opportunities to observe Jane's own personal hygiene rituals. She knew that Jane was fastidious and discerning...after all, she was always clean and smelled good...but since she was also always late performing them when they were together, Maura had never had the chance to observe them directly.

The detective and her frequent, frantic and unorganized morning routine was just sometimes too much for the doctor to sit through.

Maura always retreated from not only Jane's bathroom before they were completed, but from her own as well, the unnecessary morning drama almost frustrating for her.

She'd explained too often to Jane that if she would just get up when her alarm initially sounded, the rest of her day would go just as smoothly.

Jane always laughed every time she attempted to rebut, usually in the car on the way to the station, her sarcasm there, her irritation sometimes evident, but a hint of humor always suffusing everything.

"My life is nothing if it's not crazy, Maura. C'mon...you know this. Shit! You know this! It gives me my edge! God, I'm not like you, okay? I neeeeed a little chaos. Just...chill out, will ya?!"

Maura always tried to "chill out" every time Jane had asked her to. But it always nagged at her that Jane had no routine that she would follow to start the day out on the right foot, her own life at times fiercely regimented, Jane being her only relief from that regiment.

And a welcomed relief, for sure.

She still wasn't convinced that it had any bearing on the reason why she fell in love with the detective in the first place.

Chaos was not a tenet to which she easily subscribed.

However, it was just another concession that the M.E. gladly made to share Jane's life, even if it was the exact opposite of her own. Because that was a tenet to which Maura could easily subscribe.

After all, opposites do attract. Science said so. And that was enough for her.

Presently, Jane completed her unseen production by taking another deep breath and exhaling loudly, but then speaking to herself so softly that Maura could barely hear.

"This is really happening, Jane. Chill out, will ya."

Maura smiled again and waited anxiously as Jane finished her ablutions, the detective making her way to the bathroom door, leaning against the jamb, the soft light behind her silhouetting her long tall form perfectly.

She crossed her arms over her stomach and stood silent, her head tilted, eyes presumably on Maura herself.

Maura couldn't see her face or the expression on it, the dark room and the light behind her making it impossible. She smiled, taking a deep breath of her own and turned over onto her side in the bed, pulling one knee up into her belly and her hands under her chin, trying to discern Jane's mood from her body language. She felt slightly exposed, Jane having earlier thrown the bed linens off of both of them as she left the bed, her need to empty her bladder and brush her teeth dictating her quick exit.

Maura didn't cover herself in Jane's absence, hoping that the sheets and comforter could remain where they were, at the foot of the bed, the invitation silent but clear.

Now, however, as Jane leaned silently against the door jamb, it seemed that she was being intentionally obtuse...waiting.

'Jane is detecting again.' Maura thought briefly, her heart beginning to flutter. 'She's waiting to see what I'm going to do. Sherlock Rizzoli is alive and well and standing in front of me. Now I know how a suspect must feel when she's standing in front of them in the box, waiting for the interrogation to begin. Like a fly stuck on a pin.'

Maura could sense Jane's intentions as she enjoyed the view of the detective leaning, and seemingly completely relaxed, in her favorite pair of sleeping boxer shorts and the ubiquitous grey muscle tee.

But she knew that Jane was ever aware, watching and wary.

Maura's libido threatened to overcome her sensible self. She knew that she had to remain calm and relaxed, mirroring Jane's own façade.

It was the hardest thing that she had ever had to do.

Because there was no sexier being on the planet than an alert, yet somehow informal Jane in her boxer shorts, the feminine and masculine side of the detective melding perfectly together.

The fact that the gorgeous wearer of said boxers always seemed completely oblivious to her appeal only added to it.

Maura knew that Jane mostly only cared about comfort and fit, occasionally about style and rarely, if ever, about perception.

But as much as the doctor loved Jane in her boxers, boy shorts and in the winter, her sweat pants, she longed to see her in other underthings. Frilly underthings. She knew Jane owned them...she couldn't have gotten away with that sexy little black dress unless she had at least one pair of panties.

If she only knew how many times Maura had mentally pictured her in a sexy silk camisole, or sometimes even a corset, pulled tight, her perfectly proportionate breasts spilling out of the top of it, Maura's own fingers on the laces, ready and willing to release everything…

A raspy and amused voice broke through her reverie.

"Now who's pondering?" Jane asked, the smile evident in her voice, her face still in the shadows.

Maura laughed, caught. "I am not pondering."

Jane remained still.

"I beg to differ, Doctor. You are pondering...and pondering hard!"

Maura laughed again, her eyes still shining, focused wholly on the silhouette in front of her. She repeated herself.

"I'm not pondering...I'm...fantasizing."

Jane chuckled, shaking her head, crossing her arms over her chest, unconsciously attempting to cover herself, never one to enjoy being the center of anyone's attention...even Maura's. She was quiet for a moment, her heart beginning to beat a little faster, contemplating her next words, knowing that they would be leading.

"About what?" She asked softly, her attraction to Maura overcoming her own embarrassment.

She answered immediately, wanting Jane to see herself in the same way that Maura did.

"About you...and how stunning you are." She hesitated, thinking. "Even when you're fresh from bed, hair all...tousled...and just standing there in your sleeping clothes."

Maura could sense the blush settling on Jane's face even though she couldn't see it.

Jane reached up and self-consciously ran her hand through her disheveled mane, then once again crossed her arms over her chest.

She quickly laughed, looking down and gesturing to her makeshift pajamas, doing her best to sound glib.

"What? These old things?"

Maura joined in her laughter.

"Yes. Those old things." Maura took a deep breath.

There were a few seconds of silence between them both before Jane broke it, her heart now pounding, her own arousal beginning to bolster her boldness.

"So...what are you...fantasizing about, Doctor? I don't need specifics. Generalizations will do just fine."

Maura, once again, answered immediately and honestly.

"About a lot of things...but right now...how I'd like to see you standing there...just where you are...wearing a silk teddy and a pair of matching panties."

Jane chuckled, but didn't move. A part of her enjoyed hearing about this fantasy. She would've never entertained such an outfit before Maura's suggestion, even though many of her past lovers had tried to get her into the stereotypical male fantasy of a woman in lingerie.

She'd tried to give into these past fantasies before, but always balked in the end, feeling foolish and somewhat used, even dirty, like an object.

Sometimes her feelings were unfounded...sometimes not.

But with Maura, it was different. She was not only flattered and surprised, but she also enjoyed that Maura saw her in this light and maybe she even wanted to fulfill her fantasy at some future point in this new relationship.

She knew that Maura would never make her feel like she was being used or like she was just a means to an end. She knew that Maura respected her. Maura wanted her and...maybe even needed her.

But for sure...Maura loved her.

Jane tried to mentally make a note to remember this feeling...it was a first.

She also realized and accepted that she was in love...and that that love was being wholeheartedly returned.

However, she still couldn't let Maura know that she was feeling this way, her pride and bravada always ruling her actions, old habits dying hard.

So she did what she always did.

She fell back into her sarcasm.

"Please tell me you aren't picturing me in a pair of those tiny little things that you wear where your ass hangs out. You know the ones you're always buying online. Overpriced and loaded with lace and corporate greed. I mean...how can someone charge that much for that little piece of fabric anyway?"

Jane had only briefly glimpsed in person Maura wearing a pair of the undergarments in question once while the M.E. had changed clothes at work, the doctor's personal bathroom door inadvertently left open while she replaced her morgue clothes with her "civvies."

Jane had averted her eyes slower than she should have and not before the mental picture was burned into her brain like a brand. At times, it had become a recurring visual, running on a loop for the detective.

Maura standing there, her back to Jane as she slid her skirt up, her amazing ass briefly in full view.

At the time, she enjoyed it more than she should have.

Jane swallowed before she asked, licking her lips.

"What are they called?"

"Thongs, Jane. They are called thongs." Maura answered, her mind drifting briefly to a fresh mental fantasy of Jane standing in front of her, wearing a pair of lacy, deep maroon French cut panties, her full muscular buttocks on full view in the mirror behind her, just waiting to be cupped.

Suddenly, both were indulging in secret fantasies.

"I wear them because they don't show any panty lines and because I find them to be comfortable and...sexy. Even if I'm the only one who sees them."

Silence from Jane, but she shifted ever so slightly and took a quiet breath.

"Butt floss."

"Excuse me?"

"Butt floss. That's what your panties are. And I hate butt floss, Maura. They're ridiculous and uncomfortable. What misogynistic man thought those things up?! Something that goes right up the crack of your ass?!"

Maura suddenly realized what Jane was doing. She was deflecting and putting off the inevitable. The doctor decided to get this conversation back on track, disregarding Jane's obvious attempt to draw her into a debate on the masculine/feminine agenda.

This morning held so much more promise.

She was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts, before she held her hand out to the detective, settling on the straightforward tack.

"Come back to bed, Jane." She smiled. "You said you wanted to kiss me earlier. My minty fresh breath is wearing off."

Jane took another deep lungful of air before quickly flipping of the bathroom light, the darkness engulfing them both.

Maura felt Jane's hand take her own and then they were sharing a bed once again.

R&IR&IR&I

The awkwardness only lasted seconds before they were both fully immersed and engaged in the moment, limbs intertwined, mouth on mouth, breathing labored and heavy.

The covers were now on the floor having been inadvertently kicked completely off the bed, two fully clothed bodies hotly moving against one another.

"Jane." Maura breathed into her paramour's ear. "I want to touch you."

Jane continued kissing and sucking on Maura's neck, intent on returning the "hickey" favor, not because she was vindictive or immature but just because the doctor's neck tasted so good and it felt so right to just suck there.

Maura repeated herself a little more forcefully, hands in Jane's hair.

"Jane! I want to touch you."

Jane reluctantly broke away from Maura's neck, finding her eyes, the early morning sun now barely peeking its way around the fortifications that the doctor had erected just for Jane.

"You are touching me." She whispered heavily, kissing Maura's chin, confused, eager to get back to her earlier endeavor, Maura's slender neck beckoning.

Maura gently yet feverishly pulled Jane up and into her mouth, repeating her wish.

"Please stop being obtuse. You know what I mean."

She punctuated her words by slipping her hand under Jane's shirt and cupping one of her breasts, kneading it gently.

Jane inhaled quickly but didn't protest. The feeling of Maura's hand on her body felt so warm and so...right. She pushed her chest into the doctor's hand, pulling Maura closer into her body.

Maura took this as an invitation. She found Jane's mouth again, her fingers finding Jane's nipple, feeling its hardness and lightly rolling it between her thumb and forefinger, then palming it softly.

Jane moaned loudly, whispering hotly against the doctor's neck, moving herself closer into her beloved.

"Oh, God. Maur...Maura…"

They lay side by side, Jane's own hands moving down the doctor's body, actively studying her curves tacitly, still unsure of how far this encounter was going to go, but now completely on board for the ride.

They kissed deeply, hands exploring one another furtively.

Maura, taking her cue from Jane's permission, moved her palm down the detective's toned stomach, fingers toying with the waistband of her shorts. When she wasn't rebuked, she slid her hand inside them slightly, then further, her fingers sliding gently over smooth skin, then encountering a small patch of close cropped hair. She scratched it slowly, enjoying the sound her fingernails made running over it.

Jane inhaled, but didn't protest, instead pushing her hips closer into Maura's body.

The doctor was always curious as to how Jane maintained her pubic area having never seen her completely nude before. She was pleased and intrigued. She wanted to know more.

She also knew that if she slid her middle finger down ever so slightly, she would be able to massage Jane's clitoral hood and the engorged bud just underneath it.

Jane exhaled loudly, her body shaking slightly. She found her way to Maura's neck again, nipping at it lightly.

Maura slowly moved her hand out of Jane's boxers and back to her breast, kissing her again.

As badly as she wanted to just take Jane, she wanted to make this moment memorable...for both of them, knowing it was Jane's first experience with a woman, but also knowing that she loved this particular woman and that this was a first for she herself, as well.

She'd had sex with many women before Jane...but Jane was the only one she had ever been in love with...would ever be in love with.

Jane pulled Maura closer, her own hands wandering over her pajamas, finding Maura's butt, her ample firm breasts, her erect nipples. She toyed with them lightly over her shirt, infatuated, having only fantasized about this before, never dreaming that she'd ever get the opportunity to bring that fantasy into reality. She buried her face into the M.E.'s neck again, her hand cupping her butt and pulling her close.

She slid her thigh in between Maura's legs, pulling her closer, rolling her hips, their centers grinding slightly together for the first time.

The doctor moaned loudly.

Jane's heart jumped at the sound of it, never even remotely thinking she would ever hear it outside of her fantasies.

She was unprepared and completely delighted...and also thrilled.

'God, she sounds so...perfect. Better than I ever imagined.'

Maura unexpectedly and quickly disengaged herself from Jane and rolled onto her back, beginning to unbutton her top, anxious for Jane's hands to be on her body directly.

Jane protested, caught off guard, her mind still reliving Maura's sudden vocalizations.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Maura froze, confused, unsure if she'd misinterpreted Jane's signals, the probability almost inconceivable.

She was doing the math in her head when Jane smiled shyly, her fingers finding the remaining unbuttoned buttons, leaning over on her elbow above the doctor.

"I want to do that. Can I?"

Maura replied slyly, her voice dripping with seduction.

"I don't know. Can you?"

Jane rolled her eyes, shaking her head, smiling shyly.

Maura smiled and moved her hands away, allowing Jane full access to her top. She watched Jane intently as she quickly unfastened the buttons, but left her shirt intact and unopened.

Jane took another deep breath, eyes moving from the buttons to Maura's eyes then back again.

"Well? Jane?" Maura whispered, quivering with desire but respectful of Jane and this moment. She reached up and touched Jane's face, cupping her jaw. "Are you okay?"

Jane looked back up and into Maura's eyes, nodded and then focused on her shirt again, running her finger tips down the front, then gently opening it, one side and then the other, revealing the most beautiful breasts she'd ever seen.

She inhaled quickly but quietly, licking her lips unconsciously.

"Jesus."

Maura smiled again, repeating her earlier permission before Jane needed to ask, her hands moving into Jane's hair.

"You can touch me, Jay." She whispered. "Baby, please touch me."

Jane, needing no further encouragement, kissed Maura again, moving her body over Maura's, her hands and mouth finally finding her breasts.

She pulled one nipple into her mouth, tentative at first, but then hearing Maura's enthusiasm, sucking on it, pulling it in deeper, feeling its hardness push against the top of her throat, wanting to feed from the woman that she adored, knowing that it was impossible, but wanting it nonetheless.

She then slowly kissed her way across the doctor's sternum before repeating her actions, Maura's nipples like small gems begging to be polished.

Maura pushed her chest into Jane's mouth, cradling her head, her fingers intertwined in the unruly, yet, impossibly soft crown of hair, her lower body searching for some traction...some friction.

They rocked against each other for many minutes, moans filling the quiet room, sweat being cooled by the ceiling fan.

Maura finally took control, her need for Jane coming to a head. She forcefully turned Jane onto her back and straddled her, quickly discarding her open pajama top, tossing it towards the closet.

She leaned over Jane, hands on either side of her shoulders, full breasts dangling close and inviting, her breathing rapid.

She leaned down and kissed Jane once, soft but brief, moving back above her.

Jane quietly moved her hands to Maura's hips, unsure of what what about to happen but more unsure of what was expected of her.

Maura spoke first.

R&IR&IR&I

"I want you, Jane." She whispered, moving one of Jane's hands up to cup her breast, the feel of the detective's warm palm cradling her a catalyst.

"I want to make love to you."

Jane cupped Maura's perfect breast, moving her hand upward, feeling its weight, the hard nipple pushing into her palm. She gently kneaded its fullness, moving her other hand up to mirror the first.

She palmed Maura's breasts, sitting up and kissing her neck again as the honey blonde briefly arched into Jane's hands, settling back onto the detective's lap.

Maura moaned again, grinding her center into Jane, giving away her intention, leaning down and kissing her deeply.

She broke the kiss and whispered hotly into her ear, her hand finding its way between them and down Jane's toned stomach once again, slipping into her boxers.

"I want to taste you."

Jane inhaled deeply as Maura's dexterous middle finger gently yet immediately found her clit, massaging it briefly before slowly sliding lower, cupping her sex, then dipping into her body, once... then twice, coating her finger thoroughly, then retreating.

Maura was surprised and pleased to find that Jane's labia were clean shaven, her curiosity finally assuaged.

She leaned back, still stradling Jane, finding her eyes.

Jane watched her, wide eyed, everything about this entire encounter a first, her hands still cupping the M.E.'s breasts. She moved them slowly down and around Maura's waist.

Maura licked the tip of her finger, gauging Jane's reaction.

When Jane appeared pleased, she pushed it into her mouth, sucking on it softly, licking her lips when she was done and then leaning over Jane again, repeating herself.

"Jane. I want to taste you."

Jane reached up and took Maura's face in her hands and brought it down into her own, kissing her deeply, then deadpanning breathlessly.

"Okay. But I feel like I need to shower first."

Maura laughed into Jane's mouth, moving her onto her back, whispering as she slid hand into Jane's boxer shorts, her fingers dancing over her center lightly.

"Uh, uh. You showered less than nine hours ago."

Maura then decidedly began kissing her way down Jane's body, lifting her shirt with her free hand, licking and sucking her breasts.

"I want to taste you, Jane. Not my body wash."

"Jeeez!" Jane protested out of habit, closing her eyes, the feeling of Maura's mouth on her body almost too much. Her own body moved against Maura's in a most satisfying way, showing her hand, but not caring.

She whispered softly.

"I told you that you were bossy."

Maura laughed quietly and hooked her thumbs into the hem of Jane's boxers, pushing them down to Jane's knees, looking up and smiling, eyebrows raised.

"Once again, I'll remind you that you don't know how quite bossy I can be."

Jane smiled back and worked her boxers down herself, kicking them off entirely towards Maura's closet, hoping that they at least landed near Maura's pajama top.

There was a moment of quiet that passed between them...both waiting for the other to protest or object.

The room was filled with heavy hot breathing.

When it didn't happen, Maura took charge, working her way out of her own bottoms, moving atop Jane again and then sliding her hands up Jane's ribs and under her tank, pushing the shirt up over her head and off.

She leaned back on her haunches over Jane's hips, wadding the tee into a ball and moving it up to her nose, eyes on her detective.

She inhaled deeply, pulling the scent of her lover into her lungs, eyes closing as her amygdala did its job, her brain releasing its serotonin, her body following suit.

Jane swallowed audibly, her hands once again on Maura's hips, eyes wide, waiting.

She was acutely aware of the hotness of Maura's center pressed against her own, the doctor's folds fully open and her wetness apparent.

Jane pushed her hips up, hoping to please her, running completely on instinct.

Maura ground down into Jane and said softly, holding Jane's eyes, inhaling again.

"God, you smell so good. You always have."

Jane smiled, slightly awed that Maura was aware of her scent after all these years and slightly peeved at herself that she hadn't even realized it. She slowly moved her palms up the doctor's toned stomach, stopping just below her breasts, pushing her hips into Maura's center again seductively, her arousal climbing.

"Ditto."

Maura laughed out loud and nonchalantly tossed Jane's shirt onto the growing pile, remembering this response from one of Jane's favorite movies.

She leaned over Jane again, hands on either side of the detective's head, a sly smile on her face, her pendulous breasts inches away from Jane's. She began rubbing herself against her lover.

Jane was in awe, Maura inadvertantly and unknowingly fulfilling Jane's dream from the previous night.

Jane continued to hold Maura's eyes with her own, her hands moving back to the honey blonde's hips.

Maura leaned down and paused just above Jane's lips, speaking into her mouth.

"Say it, Jane. Don't say ditto. Don't ever say ditto. This isn't a movie. Just say it."

Jane reached up with her left hand and moved the hair off of Maura's forehead and then ran her fingertips lightly down her smooth alabaster back.

She whispered quietly.

"I love you."

Maura smiled and whispered back.

"And love you, too. Now...relax." She smiled and then moved to Jane's ear, speaking clearly, a smile in her voice and a distinct accent in her words, intentionally quoting another of Jane's favorite movies.

"I'll be back."

R&IR&IR&I

Maura manueverd herself in between Jane's legs, reaching up and taking Jane's hands gently.

She kissed down softly, looking up, trying to gauge Jane's reaction to her actions.

Jane held her eyes tentatively and her hands tightly until Maura gently licked her clitoris. Then the detective's eyes closed and and her mouth opened. She pushed her head back into the pillow, hands gripping Maura's, pulling them unconsciously into her belly.

"Oh, God." She whispered quietly to the ceiling.

She arched her pelvis into Maura's mouth, the doctor's hands still gripping her own firmly.

'Her mouth is so hot! God...it feels so good! She feels so good!'

Maura licked slowly but with purpose.

Jane swallowed and arched her pelvis into Maura's mouth, moaning quietly, reveling in the feeling of her newfound lover's tongue as it found its way into her folds and eventually into her body.

She sighed softly, slowly thrusting her hips into Maura's mouth, her orgasm building.

Jane inhaled loudly, releasing Maura's hands, pushing them under the pillow, her body tensing at the sensations that she was experiencing. She concentrated on Maura and her efforts.

She pumped her hips into Maura's mouth, her breathing heavy and fast. She reached down to touch the top of Maura's head, intending to encourage her...to bolster her confidence and enthusiasm.

But she stopped just before she made contact, moving her hand to the side instead.

Maura saw this but didn't slow her pace, she knew Jane was close.

'C'mon, Jane! This feels sooo fucking good! Just relax and let your body go! Dammit, don't think so much! She loves you for Christ's sake! Just let go! You're so close! SO close!'

Jane pushed upward into Maura's mouth several more times but then she began to slow, exhaling loudly, frustration evident.

Maura felt the change in Jane and tried to adjust, moving her mouth and tongue where she thought it was needed, inserting one finger, then two, feeling and tasting Jane's warmth and wetness.

She was elated when the detective had suddenly stiffened and moved her legs, gripping her head, almost as if she were trying to push her away, her thrusting stopping altogether.

She thought Jane's orgasm was eminent.

But, when she didn't feel the contractions around her fingers, she became concerned, wanting only to please Jane.

And then when Jane stopped moving and took several deep breaths, Maura realized what was happening.

She continued her attention briefly before she slowly disengaged, kissing softly up Jane's belly and chest until she reached her chin.

She softly positioned her body over Jane and the detective wrapped her legs around Maura's waist gently, pulling her close.

The doctor moved her hands to either side of Jane's head, opening her palms, her fingers lacing into the detective's hair and cradling her head next to the pillow, their faces inches apart.

Maura's voice was filled with concern and understanding.

"Are you okay?" She whispered, soothingly. "Did I do something? Did I not do something? You know you can tell me if I'm not giving you the right stimulation."

Jane smiled, shaking her head, her frustration evident.

She reached up and touched Maura's face. She whispered softly, embarrassed but mirroring Maura's concern.

"No. You were doing just fine. Really fine! More than fine. Fantastic, in fact!"

Jane chuckled with frustration.

"It's not you, Maur. It's me."

Maura's brow furrowed.

"I don't understand." She said, even though she suspected.

Jane laughed to herself, rolling her eyes and looking away from Maura.

"God, this is embarrassing."

Maura moved off of Jane and onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, eyes on her paramour, listening quietly, waiting.

She traced her finger over Jane's jawline once, then gave her some space, moving her free hand up between her own breasts.

"Tell me, Jay." She whispered, her eyes intensely trained on Jane's profile...the detective's eyes focused on the ceiling, jaw clenching.

The room was a pleasing and tranquil color of soft blue, the sun up but still unable to make its way completely around the blinds and curtains.

Maura tried to say in the moment, knowing that Jane was in possible crisis, but a part of her mind uncontrollably went to what her eyes were seeing.

'She's so stunning. And she will never believe me, no matter how many times I tell her.'

Jane moved her hands from under the pillow and across her stomach, palms flat, her breathing deep and determined. She moved her foot over and touched Maura's.

Maura smiled, accepting the warmth that Jane was giving her, but not pressing or pressuring.

Jane took one more deep, cleansing breath, exhaling loudly.

"I...I. Shit! I've never had an orgasm with anyone but myself."

Jane quickly interjected before Maura could speak.

"I want to! God! I want to! And I was so close with you, Maura!"

Another deep breath.

"But...I don't know what happened. I was almost there and then…"

Jane began apologizing immediately.

"I swear it's not you! Please, don't think you did anything wrong! You were doing everything just right...I…"

Maura quickly took Jane's hand, pulling it to her lips, kissing her fingers softly.

"Shhhhhh…" she whispered. "Jane. It's okay."

Maura smiled understandingly, her eyes finding Jane's.

"It's o-kay."

Maura had been petrified that she was doing something wrong. But now, even though this was a clear problem that Jane was experiencing, Maura knew that with the right attention and the right amount of patience and understanding, it could be resolved.

She knew that Jane was physically able to have an orgasm, the detective herself telling her so.

The girlfriend in her was sad but the doctor in her was relieved and began formulating a remedy.

It had to be a mental complication.

Jane might be thinking too much during sex...so much so that she was inadvertently short-circuiting her own orgasm. It was a common problem in women under stress.

All of this new information lined up in her mind. She tried to comfort her new paramour, wanting nothing more than to help her detective.

"Jane…"

She was cut off, Jane as always, was one step ahead, sometimes jumping to the wrong conclusion before the problem had even been presented or clarified.

Her voice started out soft but rose with each sentence, as did her temper.

"Maura, please don't. Please, don't try to fix me, okay? I've had enough of people trying to do that to me. I don't need to be fixed, alright? I've gone through a lot of shit, I know! But I don't need to be fixed!"

Maura's feelings were hurt, but she understood why Jane said what she said and the anger behind it.

After Hoyt, that is all everyone around Jane had tried to do.

They'd tried to fix her.

They'd danced around the event, looked at her sideways, doubted her abilities, whispered behind her back and sent her to shrinks.

Then when she shot herself to save her brother, they did the same, but more because she also shot herself to save her...

Maura needed to clarify and separate herself from all of those people...from everyone else...from that horrible time so many years ago.

But she also needed Jane to know that she was there when some of this trauma happened and she remembered her sacrifices and the lives she'd saved, her own included...and since then, more than once.

She reached out gingerly and touched Jane's side. When Jane didn't protest she gently touched the faded scar on Jane's stomach, tracing it lightly. Then she touched the imperceptible scars on the back of Jane's hands, one at a time, as they lay across her stomach.

She gently turned Jane's palms up, one and then the other. She lightly traced those scars, as well.

Jane was quiet but wary as Maura did this, her breathing deep, eyes still on the ceiling, the tingling in her heart and stomach threatening to kill her, the stress of losing the one thing she'd always dreamed of so close…

One lone tear leaked out of the corner of Jane's eye and ran quickly down her face and into her ear. She blinked but didn't move, her throat aching with the rest of the unshed tears...tears she refused to let fall.

Maura gently turned Jane's hands back over onto her stomach, pleased that the detective let her do all of this. She then moved her own hand back and away from Jane, but slid her leg closer, now more than just their feet touching.

She whispered quietly into the dim room, eyes fixed on her love, head still propped in her hand and up on her elbow, her own heart aching with Jane's self imposed suffering.

"I'm not trying to fix you, Jane." She leaned over and gently kissed Jane's shoulder, softly. "I don't think you are broken. I never did."

Well, there it is. I'm using my new format so I really don't know how long this chapter is compared to my last since this format measures pages and words differently. If it's too short or too long...I don't know what to tell ya. If you like this though, please let me now. I'm not one to pander...but I need something to go right this year. WHO DAT!