You shit stains WILL stand in neat orderly rows. You WILL stand at attention. You fuckwads WILL keep your backs straight. Your chest Will be out. Your shoulders Will be squared.
Did you fucking hear me, mother fucker?
Yes sir.
What the fuck did you say, moron?
Uh…
You do NOT grunt at Me! When I ask you a question you preface your response with 'Sir, yes, sir!' Do you understand me Private Grunt?
I...Uh…
GodDAMN it! You are a fucking idiot, aren't you private grunt?
Sir...yes, sir.
Motherfucker, do I LOOK like I have super hearing?
Sir, no sir
No I do NOT. You will yell it.
Sir, Yes, Sir!
I. Did. Not. Hear. You!
SIR, YES, SIR!
About goddamn time!
Now that we got that shit out of our way...Your feet WILL be together. Your hands WILL be at your sides.
Well, well, it looks like we have that goddamn blueberry in our midst. Say Hello, Private Blueberry.
SIR, HELLO, SIR!
Well, fucking well! It looks like the Blueberry has had some prior advice. Who told you what to do. Blueberry?
SIR, I-
Shut the fuck up, Blueberry, nobody here gives a shit. You are here to be a marine, and I will MAKE you wish you had never left your mothers sack, do you get me Blueberry?
SIR, Yes-
I said shut up, blueberry!
Now..for all you other idiots, the Blueberry here, is a member of the Alliance. But to Asari, she is a goddamn infant. And she STILL is better at this than you fucks!
Now you will be going through THAT building there. Do you see it?
SIR, YES, SIR!
Inside that building, you WILL have your head shaved. You WILL have your clothes taken You WILL be given honest to god marine trainee uniforms. You DO NOT deserve them. If it was up to me, You would be doing this training in just what whichever god you follow gave you! You will…
Holy Fuck! Somebody was clever! SOME fucker thought to shave their head before coming in. Do you think you are smart?
Sir, I think-
Shut the fuck up! I don't care what you think! I asked if you thought you were smart! Now Answer my fucking question!
SIR, No, SIR!
GODDAMN RIGHT YOU ARE NOT! In fact, you are probably the stupidest moron I have ever seen in all my years training pukes like you! In fact, you are so goddamn stupid that I don't think you can do push ups! Now to teach your ass, you will STAND right there! You WILL not move!
The rest of you! Drop! You will give me push ups. We will tech Private Moron here how to do push ups! I want fifty! And I want them NOW!
Private Moron. You will look at ME! You will NOT move! If you move, the Company will have to start over. Do you understand me?"
Sir, Ye-
God DAMN! You are a grade A Moron! As Private Moron here moved his goddamn mouth, You will be starting over! Give me fifty push ups!
Buckle it down, Blueberry! If I even think I see blue that isn't your fucking Cerulean ass on my obstacle course, you will rue this fucking day! Do you understand me you Beryl Bitch?
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Very fucking good. Now, I will see pushups until your squad finishes this course. Can your Cornflower ass do, at least that much?
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Wake the fuck up! You will all get out of those goddamn beds right this goddamn minute! Private Fuck-Knuckle, you get your fat off my fucking floor, or so help me I will cut your lard ass open and slap the skinny you inside it!
Thir..Sir, Yes, Sir!
You still can't fucking talk right, can you, Fuck-Knuckle? Holy GODdamn! What did I fucking do to deserve YOU? Because I am NEVER doing THAT shit AGAIN!
Si-
Shut your damn mouth and get in fucking LINE!
I see squad Leader Moron has gotten some of you shits in some semblance of order! Holy GodDamn! He deserves a mucking medal for that shit! Don't you think so?
SIR, YES, SIR!
Here you are, Moron! I pulled this out of my trash can an hour ago!
Sir! Thank You Sir!
You had better thank me you miserable shit! You had also better take care of that candy wrapper! You will pin it to your shirt! You will treasure it like it was the fucking Holy Grail! Do you understand me?
Sir, Yes, Sir!
Now! What the fuck are you shits doing out of bed in the middle of the GodDamned night? Get the fuck to bed!
Holy Shit, Fuck-Knuckle! You are the stupidest Fuck-Knuckle I have ever seen! Thanks to your lard ass getting in bed, the rest of your squad is going for a three mile run!
Oh, no, Fuck-Knuckle! Not you! You need your GODdamn beauty sleep! You get your ass in that bed! You will go to fucking sleep! Hell, I might read you a bedtime story! Would you like that, Fuck-Knuckle?
Sir! No-
Jesus H Christ! You know what? I'm thinking maybe the rest of you may need to learn from Fuck-Knuckle's example! This is a grade A Fat Fuck! He has just earned you a FIVE mile run! THREE miles is just not enough! How about you THANK Fuck-Knuckle for helping you shits get to sleep?
SIR! THANK YOU FUCK-KNUCKLE! SIR!
Did you asshates just call Fuck-Knuckle SIR?!
SIR-
I DON'T give a shit! Since you all seem to like Fuck-Knuckle so damned much, I'm thinking he will be your new Squad Leader! What do you think of that Private Blueberry?
Sir! Wonderful, Sir!
It certainly is!
Private Moron! Give Private Fuck-Knuckle the Medal! He will be your new Squad Leader!
….Sir, Yes, Sir.
You do NOT sound pleased, Moron! Are you pleased?
Sir, no, Sir!
Ho HO! Well then Private Moron, maybe you need to learn how be a proper leader!
You know! In fact, I'm thinking when you get back from your run, you will crawl in bed with Fuck-Knuckle! From now on, you WILL be sharing a bed! Private Moron! I expect YOU to be the LITTLE spoon!
Do you Understand me?
Sir! Yes! SIR!
Very fucking good!
Now why aren't you little dingleberries running?!
You get your Ultramarine ass back in that Recondo Pit! You are NOT fucking done! Do you hear me Blueberry?
Sir...Yes...Sir….
Goddamnit! Are you having trouble breathing?
Sir...Yes...Sir….
Is my AIR not GOOD enough for your delicate azure lungs?
Sir….No….
Shut the fuck up you Teal Tit! Get your broken ass to the infirmary!
You! Private...I don't even know who the fuck you are!
Sir! Pri-
I don't give a shit! You help this Cobalt Cunt to the infirmary!
Sir, Yes, Sir!
"You listen to me, mongrel. You may have slipped into this human's army by a fucking technicality, but you are NOT human. The fact that your whore mother opened her legs for a squid makes you less than nothing. You are an animal, nothing more. I will enjoy fucking you out of your goddamn squid head." His voice was low. Growling. Desperate.
Get the fuck off me Fuck-Knuckle!
"Oh no! You don't make fun of ME! This is all YOUR fault! If it wasn't for you! I-" He sqealed.
Her forehead came forward. There was a crunch. The red blood.
A fist caught her left cheek. Now the blood was blue.
Another fist hit her from the left.
He was on top of her. His fist was coming down. Blocking was hard. The fist cracked her face and drove her head into the ground.
The world was blurry.
A hand groped at her.
It hurt.
It pulled at her clothes.
Then the light came on. There was a voice.
What the fuck are you shit's doing! Fuck all! Blueberry! I give you permission!
Her eyes flashed purple. Power surged as her teeth clenched. Her fist swung up. The weight was gone. Her fist was wet with blood.
The power was gone. The world spun.
You! You! Get the medics in here NOW! Call the MPs!
Damnit Blueberry! You had better NOT fucking die on me!
S...sir...y..s...sir….
The voice was quiet for a moment. Shut up girl. Just breathe.
AN: This is a kind of writing experiment. Let me know what you think.