Letter Song (by Wotamin)

[-x-x-x-]

"Dear future me..."

While cleaning the house, I found an old letter I do not remember. Taken by curiosity, I opened it and relaxed by the window, seated on a couch while a warm chocolate in hand. The moon was out and the night was quiet except for the calming sound of owls echoing outside.

"I am not sure what to write actually... Life can turn upside-down in a blink of moment. I don't know what kind of people you are now..."

Somehow, I was sad, seeing how bad my handwriting was back then. I was never that bright question academy and could remember some troubles from when I was young.

[-x-x-x-]

Another sleepless night as my illness was unbearable. I was never a healthy girl since birth so those things became common. The envy toward children my age was indeed there.

"Honoka?" came a gentle familiar voice as a redhead taller and way more mature than me entered the room. Said room was filled with idol posters and manga selves with a bed at the corner. "Are you okay? Shouldn't you be still lying down?"

I beamed her a happy smile while placing the manga I was reading on my lap and stood up from the cushion. "It's fine, it's fine." I then sad back down and pattern the cushion beside where I was sitting. "Is school over already? I was kind of bored today."

The girl gave a scowlding look while stepping in and accepting the proposition. "You should take care of yourself more, I say."

Despite my smile, there was something paining my own self deep in my soul. Having been an ill child made me an insane financial burden and lately, I became aware of the fact. As a kid, the idea of being a burden didn't occur at all but recently, nightmares has been haunting me.

"Here, I brought you some oranges." Maki placed her bag on the low table and took a couple of mandarin from them. She then peeled them and turned to me, only to frown. "Do not tell me you want me to feed you on top of everything?"

I cheerfully nodded. It was always nice to be spoiled, especially by the usually cold Miss Nishikino. After a good minute of argument, she sighed and took the ready mandarin by the finger, offering it. I gladly accepted.

We were childhood friends. As long as I could remember, I always had a rather weak body. That resulted in daily check ups at the hospital. That was when we first met. She was the daughter of the responsible doctor and since Maki didn't have that many friends, I quickly managed to get close to her.

"Thank you, Maki-chan~"

The girl just avoided her eye contact, some shade of pink on her cheeks. "Well... We are friends so I have to act like one..."

That were our days. My condition would get better at times or might turn to the worst at other times. She would always be there though and I was thankful. One day though...

"My family is moving away..." The redhead quietly explained. We were once again in my room, taking seat around the kotatsu.

"Wait. What?"

"It's Papa's job..." She continued, her eyes glued to the cup filled with green tea in her hands. "We will be living in America for ten years..."

"But..." I was unsure about how to respond. In the end, I lied by forcing a smile. "I think it will come as a very nice experience. You will get to see new settlings and meet with new people."

"But..."

I placed a hand on her, lifting her chin with the other one, offering the best smile I could. "It will be all right, Maki-chan. I believe in you. Promise me you will make friends when you are in America."

"I..."

"Promise me."

There was a brief moment of silence until she responded with a nod.

Few weeks after that, the Nishikino family moved away. Unfortunately, few days later, my condition worsened again. This time, I was sent to the hospital and realized how much of burden I was for everyone.

One lonely night, I couldn't sleep at all so standing up, I had a walk around the quiet hallways. When I was sent to the hospital like this, Maki would usually be there as well and the two of us would walk around together. But now, she wasn't there.

After a couple of hours, I returned to my room and took a small notebook, writing on it.

[-x-x-x-]

Dear future me,

I am not sure what to write actually... Life can turn upside-down in a blink of moment. I don't know what kind of people you are now...

Right now, I am unsure about what to do actually. I am total burden to everyone and slowly falling into despair. Not sure if there is a place for me in this world.

However, I still want to believe. I made a promise with Maki-chan and really hope I will be able to see her again, with a smile while introducting her new friends to us.

What I want to say is that I so want to believe in everyone and everything. Sure, I am unsure about lot of things but just thinking back about they have done for me, I can't possibly just give up.

I do wish you the best of luck!

- Kousaka Honoka

[-x-x-x-]

A chuckled escaped my lips. "Silly me." I sighed before putting the letter on a shelve so I could find it easier later.

"Honoka?" A redhead peeked from the corner of the room before entering. "What are you doing? Dinner is ready."

I realized how much time I have spent in my memories and gave a small apology. "Sorry, Maki-chan. I was a little lost in my thought."

"Jeez! You're an adult now so properly act like one." The other woman scolded as we walked to the dinning room.

[-x-x-x-]

Dear past me,

Thank you for your words. I am fine. Also, thank you for believing in me.

Yours truly,

- Adult Honoka