I'm still around! Thank you so much for being eternally patient with me. I hope to keep posting fic again more consistently. Please look forward to more stories!

Change of Pace

Ichimatsu Matsuno loved to go at his own pace. He could enjoy the fact that, especially at his station in life, there wasn't a sense of rushing. He didn't want to push himself too hard but he didn't want to feel like he had to rush. Sometimes, it was hard to keep up with Jyushimatsu but it was okay – Jyushimatsu was as kind as he was energetic. He was always patient for Ichimatsu and would more often than not, cave into his whims; but always with a smile on his face. Kindness defined Jyushimatsu but it wasn't extended to the youngest Matsuno.

Todomatsu had always been up to speed with trends, topics, gossip, and the like. He always rushed things through and always seemed rather impatient with the pace everyone else was at. Todomatsu already had a part-time job. He had a smartphone and he had friends. On top of it, he had female friends – something Ichimatsu had given up long ago.

Because of the fact, Todomatsu was always rushing somewhere; he never paid attention to his purple, older brother. He always had a comment towards the other brothers – always a name, always something to say.

Did it make Ichimatsu feel better for being in the background? Did it make him feel better for his own slower pace? It was all right. He was complacent on being left behind in life. His other brothers already left him behind – except Jyushimatsu.

Ichimatsu lied down and wanted to take a nap but found he couldn't. He knew he eventually could but he hated the time before that. He felt he could do something instead of just lying there but he chose not to. He just lied there. He was a disgusting cat who just didn't belong to the rest of the group. Depression was ugly but he didn't know how to battle it. His brothers would tell him to die and he'd respond with, "When?" No one thought it was amusing. No one brought it up again towards him.

He felt the grease of his own body build up and could feel his hair getting grosser. Ichimatsu didn't want to bother. He'll just wait until Choromatsu bothered him.

"Hey, Ichimatsu," a voice cried out. He stayed put. He knew that they were just going to whine at him for being unsightly and someone who reeked the whole house. "We don't do much together, do we?" Ichimatsu was surprised to hear that voice.

It was the youngest brother. Todomatsu had been on his mind recently so he didn't know why his mind did this to him. He was just… a waste.

"Are you awake? Let's go out!"

Ichimatsu grunted. Depression clamped his words shut. It always knew when he needed his voice. However, he clicked his tongue and eventually found his voice. "Why? Do you want to be embarrassed by my existence?"

"Nah, I just feel like spending time with my big brother!"

Suspicions arose in Ichimatsu's mind but it could also be true. He just grunted in response. Ichimatsu sighed. It bothered him in the back of his mind but he felt he had to do something. He got up and felt lightheaded. Still, he glanced at Todomatsu as he thought about the decision he's about to make.

Todomatsu had his usual pink hoodie, along with his brown beanie hat, and stared at him normally. This made Ichimatsu a little more nervous than originally. He wanted to trust his brother but… his depression would whisper familiar warnings.

"Let's get you cleaned up first!"

.x.

Todomatsu had dragged him to the bathhouse to clean the depressive funk off him and when Ichimatsu came out, he had fashionable clothes for him. Even though the two didn't get along very well, normally, this day seemed different. He wondered if Todomatsu was part of an elaborate joke the other brothers had set up. But he was okay with that. As long as his dear, precious brothers paid attention to him…

The day was brighter than Ichimatsu had originally assumed but the clothes he wore, which still was purple, made him feel a lot cooler than his stinky hoodie. He still felt the weight of his depression. There was a melancholy feeling but Ichimatsu tried to push it away.

For the rare times, someone, anyone, besides Jyushimatsu, wanted to spend time with him, Ichimatsu wanted to take his time to enjoy it. And yet, Ichimatsu had his own pace and for someone to take the time to wait for him… it meant the world to him.

Todomatsu took him out to lunch where, instead of being on his cell phone, he talked to Ichimatsu and seemed genuinely trying to get to know him. Ichimatsu did his best. He did his best – he really did – and he really enjoyed the younger man's company.

He seemed to enjoy himself and even laughed a few times. The lunch was pretty good – they went to a new, trendy restaurant and talked about how ridiculous their brothers are. Still unsure, Ichimatsu slowly opened and even smiled. He dared to laugh.

"Why did you bring me out here?" Ichimatsu asked, needing validation from his younger brother. "I mean… usually, you don't..."

"Well, I've been doing some thinking. I don't know anything about you, Ichimatsu. We're only minutes apart but I just don't know you. I only know you like cats. I know don't really care for yourself that much…But I just felt like taking you out for lunch. Plus, I'm getting kind of tired of Osomatsu's negativity."

Ichimatsu leaned forward. "Uh, I'm probably the most negative one out of everyone…" He lowered his voice and Todomatsu just stared at him.

"Nah, you're really not." He said it without hesitation. Ichimatsu fixed his posture and was surprised. He didn't say anything back but tried to wrap his head around the possibility that Osomatsu was possibly more negative than him.

Still, Ichimatsu felt… good. He was surprised and glad that his youngest brother wanted to spend time with him. Hopefully, things will get better between the two.