Disclaimer: I don't own the Dragon Ball franchise or it's related concepts and characters, but Akira Toriyama and his affiliates do.

[TMH]

The Monkey Hypnotist

[TMH]

Diablo Desert, Earth, July, Age 749

Goku's life was once quite straightforward when it was just him and his Grandpa Gohan. It was mostly a cycle of eating, training, and sleeping in that order before Goku found Gohan's trampled body one morning. While a disastrous event that caused Goku much grief it was, he nonetheless decided that he wouldn't be controlled by his sorrow, and thus left Mount Paozu to see the world. Fortunately, he took the time to look over Gohan's belongings to find maps that would then help him on his travels, which led him to meeting a talking turtle who then introduced him to Gohan's own martial arts mentor, Master Roshi.

Although Goku learned quickly that he was an eccentric at best and horribly perverse person on the social level, Roshi was nonetheless an effective and well-intentioned teacher in numerous subjects such as martial arts, ki manipulation, and others that had proven helpful to Goku on surviving on his own in society when any of it had been needed. With Roshi's permission in taking a break from his training, Goku took his Flying Nimbus to explore the neighboring locations of Roshi's home, including the Diablo Desert, where he met two unlikely friends in the form of a local bandit named Yamcha and his shapeshifting accomplice, Puar. Although they tried to rob him and Goku was admittedly disappointed by their choice of career, after defeating Yamcha in battle, Goku earned his and Puar's respect after sparing the former's life. One topic of conversation lead to another and half an hour after their confrontation, Goku was lead into their hideout as a genuine guest.

"Wait, you're telling me that you're almost the same age as me?" An awestruck Yamcha asked Goku as they sat at a table with Puar hovering nearby.

The monkey tailed boy nodded. "That's right. Master Roshi took me to a doctor once as part of a checkup, and he used some super science gadget to determine that I was born in June of Age 734." His expression then turned somewhat sad. "Although, the doctor also said that my DNA whatsits didn't match any Human on record, so Master Roshi had to hypnotize him before he could go crazy about an upcoming alien invasion."

Yamcha and Puar were even more shocked.

"You're an alien?!" Exclaimed Puar before adding. "And you didn't even know until you went to the doctor?!"

"That's right. My memory goes as far back to August of Age 737, when my Grandpa Gohan found me. He said that I hit my head when I fell into a ravine as a kid, and when I woke up in his home, I didn't remember anything, like my birth family and the name they gave me."

"Sheesh." Yamcha commented. "Your people must be super durable and slow to age, if you can survive a mean fall like that and look so young right now."

"I suppose so." Goku replied noncommittally.

Seeing his down expression, Yamcha and Puar looked concerned.

"You okay, Goku?" The latter asked kindly.

Goku sighed. "I'm fine, just conflicted. I'm glad that I live on a place like Earth that has good, if weird, people such as Master Roshi and my Grandpa, but I can't help but wonder who I was for such a brief time before I lost my memory and why I'm on Earth in the first place without anyone else of my race here with me. I wouldn't ask for much, just an idea of where are my people and what probably happened to them that led me here."

"Yeah, that sounds tough." Yamcha said before asking. "But what does your heart tell of who your people were?"

Goku thought about it before replying. "Well, when I think about my people, something in my heart says that they were prideful and strong, yet kind of detached, warriors." He then smiled. "But when I think about who my birth family was, I feel warm, determined, and loved."

"There you go!" Yamcha encouraged. "Even if your mind can't put faces and names to them, your heart never once forgot them."

Goku chuckled and felt better from his new friend's words. "Thanks, Yamcha."

"Don't mention it."

The talks went on smoothly for a time before the three friends heard the sounds of an approaching motorcycle as well as gunfire. Startled, they didn't have much time to respond before a lovely, yet fierce, woman with thin green eyes and blonde hair stormed her way into the hideout toting guns.

"Alright, Wolf Fang Fist Master, hand over all the loot you stole in this dump if you know what's good for you!" The blonde exclaimed as she pointed a gun in each of her hands at Goku, who sat near her and the entrance, and a red-faced Yamcha, who sat at the back of the table sweating bullets.

Yamcha's response was to stammer incoherently which annoyed the blonde, confused Goku, and prompted Puar to sigh as if this had happened before.

Seeing Yamcha's lack of a proactive response, Goku turned to the blonde in an attempt to placate her. "Excuse me, lady, can't we just try and talk about this?"

The newcomer turned to Goku angrily. "The name's Launch, brat, not Lady! And I'm not leaving until I get my payday, so you and the cat knock off whatever kindergartener and pet sidekick drama you're thinking!"

Goku turned to an equally offended Puar and back to Launch. "That's not nice. I'm not Yamcha's pet anymore than Puar's at kindergartener age, and we're both not his sidekicks." He then looked confused before asking Puar. "Or was that the other way around?"

Before Puar could answer Goku's question, Yamcha fell, seat and all, on the floor exclaiming fear. "A beautiful girl is in my home!"

Puar facepalmed in exasperation at the sight while Launch and Goku, after a moment of confusion, put what Yamcha said together with how he said it and how he acted when the former arrived to come to a single conclusion that brought them both down to the floor laughing: Yamcha, the notorious Diablo Desert bandit, was terrified of pretty women. This made Puar even more annoyed as Yamcha was indecisive of what to do just as Goku and Launch let out as much laughter as they could before they got tired after a whole minute.

Seeing Launch relax a bit, Goku then felt a question come to mind that he decided to ask Yamcha. "Wait a minute, Yamcha, if you're scared of beautiful women, then why haven't you let Puar experiment with her shapeshifting by interacting with you in the form of a Human female to your liking to help you get over your fear?"

Yamcha was stunned to the point he didn't appear as unfocused and red as he was before. Even Puar looked shocked before slapping her palm straight into her face.

"Why didn't I think of that?!" She practically screamed.

Launch, having placed her guns on the floor during her laughing fit, scoffed in amusement before turning to Yamcha with a neutral expression. "A good laugh, while nice, wasn't exactly what I came here for, kids. So, hand over what you've got before I stop asking nicely."

Goku then held his hand up in confusion. "But you didn't even ask in the first place, let alone nicely."

Feeling a tick mark on her head, Launch snapped. "Don't tell me how I can and cannot act, kid!" For emphasis, she slammed her fist into the nearby curtain that would usually block the entrance. However, the curtain let out sand it gathered from a previous storm which then got on Launch's nose, and, although she tried to fight it back, she then sneezed, causing Yamcha, Puar, and Goku to behold a bizarre transformation. In a flash, Launch's hair and eyes turned blue, and her fierceness was replaced with an innocent aura.

"Launch?" Goku asked uncertainly.

Turning to the three in apparent confusion, Launch then looked worried. "Oh, my goodness. Please tell me my other half didn't cause you all any trouble."

Asking for details, Goku and the two desert bandits learned that for as long as Launch could remember, she had been stricken with a rare, genetic case of Multiple Personality Disorder that caused her innocent and aggressive identities to exchange themselves every time she sneezed. As the description implied, her situation wasn't easy, considering that her good half wanted to help others while her bad half was willing to commit crimes for money.

"That's horrible." Yamcha brought himself to say. "I know I'd be freaking out if I had a battle with myself."

Launch nodded knowingly. "I thought about getting professional help, but I just don't have the courage to risk myself in going to jail."

"I wish there was something we could do." Puar said sadly in sympathy.

Goku felt bad for Launch as well, but then had an idea. "I think we can!" He exclaimed in excitement before turning to Launch. "Assuming you don't mind hypnosis, Launch."

Launch and the desert bandits widened their eyes. "You know hypnosis?!" They all exclaimed.

Goku merely shrugged. "Master Roshi figured it would come in handy. What do you say, Launch?"

Launch thought about it hard for a moment before smiling at Goku. "Yes, please."

"Awesome!" Goku exclaimed victoriously, then turning to Launch, he stared intensely into her eyes and made hand motions before saying. "Hypnosis Technique!"

In a flash, Launch experienced another change in front of the others, this time without sneezing. Her eyes became cyan and her hair green. As for her behavior, it appeared that she was going to be on the defensive before blinking her eyes in thought. She then smiled widely before whooping in celebration. "I can remember everything! My mind is perfectly clear! And my new looks will keep the stinking bounty hunters and policemen off me forever!"

Goku, Yamcha, and Puar laughed good naturedly and were glad to see Launch looking happy that she was finally at peace on the mental level and safe from law enforcement. Remembering that she wasn't alone, Launch then turned to the three. "Thanks for hearing me out, everyone. I'm just sorry that we met under bad circumstances."

Yamcha, having become a bit calmer since Launch arrived, then said to her reassuringly. "It's no problem. I'm Yamcha by the way."

"My name is Puar." Introduced the floating cat.

"And I'm Goku." The unlikely teenager said to the happy Launch.

Turning to Goku, the newly green haired woman kneeled down to his eye level with a beaming face. "Thanks for the hypnosis, Goku. Would you like to have a good reward?"

"A reward? Like what?"

Launch giggled. "You're see. Now close your eyes."

Once Goku had done so, Launch then turned his cheek to her direction and closed her eyes as she went to kiss it. However, just before her lips could be planted, Goku felt an itch on his ear which prompted him to turn his head before scratching just when Launch moved in and unexpectedly kissed Goku on the lips. Hearing the slights screams of shock from Yamcha and Puar, Goku opened his eyes to see him and Launch kissing. 'What the Hell?!' He thought in surprise at what was happening before thinking. 'All well, if that's what she wants.'

Melting himself into the kiss, Goku decided to take a page out of Roshi's out of whack ideas and pulled his tongue into Launch's mouth to wrestle with her own, which prompted Yamcha and Puar to scream even more in shock and for Launch to realize what was going on. 'Holy crap!' She internally screamed, having not really intended for this, but then thought. 'He actually knows his work.' She then gave back some of Goku's passion with some action of her own.

"That's just so wrong!" Yamcha cried in envy as Puar just sighed at his reaction.

[TMH]

I think I did pretty good with my first Dragon Ball one-shot. I hope you all like that I'm probably the first one in fanfiction history to pair Goku and Launch together. Why no one had thought to have done it before is beyond me. No offense intended, of course.

Anyway, for these one-shots, I plan to depict Goku/Kakarot in different situations with different heterosexual pairings and techniques in each one. If you have some ideas for what I could work with, I'm open to them, so long as they use canonical elements, and the females in question aren't confirmed to have been born more than three years after Goku/Kakarot, like Videl for one example. There are some characters that I find more dubious than others, like the ones in Fusions, Heroes, Xenoverse, or those from other Universes as seen in Super, but I'll get around to that at a later time. I also wish to up Goku's age in this as I've done with my other Dragon Ball works for conventional reasons as I'm sure you noticed.

Thanks for reading, people, and laters.