As the years passed, the summers didn't seem quite as long, the winters as empty. And eventually the broken pieces didn't only seem to be held together with insubstantial tape. It didn't mean things were perfect, nor did it mean the hurt was gone; that could easily sneak up on you without warning. But things were manageable, enjoyable at times, and life continued, however unsteady it appeared.

Ponyboy didn't fear the nights with the same crippling ferocity anymore, and the nightmares were becoming less. Soda still slept with him and Pony found comfort in that. At seventeen, Pony was too old to need his big brother as a security blanket, but Soda was a constant and Pony had come to rely on that, as most things seemed to vanish before he could even touch them.

Laughter also made its way back into the Curtis household, the guilt of it fading with the years. Things were progressing as they should, with Pony set to graduate in the spring. Life sure would change once that happened…

The front door slammed as it shut, arousing Ponyboy from his thoughts. He allowed his eyes to drift to the window, wondering the time. Pink and orange tinted the sky and Pony smiled, as he did whenever he witnessed a sunset, wistfully, albeit happy; they'd made it through another day. "Pony" A voice called from the living room. "Pony, are you daydreaming again?" The voice was closer now and Pony looked up to see his brother, Darry, leaning against the doorframe. The muscular older male seemed to take up the doorway, his tan skin apparent even in the shadows, sweat still clinging to his brow. It was clear in every aspect the job Darry did on a daily basis, and at times he looked older for it.

"Don't worry Darry." Ponyboy tapped the notebook in front of him. "I'm just about done." Darry knew he didn't need to check with Pony anymore about homework; maybe it was out of habit, or maybe it was just Darry's way of showing he cared. Either way, Pony didn't mind.

'"Alright. I'm gonna shower then get started on dinner. Soda took a late shift so he won't be home for awhile." Pony nodded. Sodapop still worked at the DX and had been taking on extra hours since Johnny and Dallas died. Pony suspected some days being in the house without the whole gang was hard on Soda. Even Pony still hoped every once in awhile he'd wake up to find Johnny asleep on the couch in the morning, escaping from the harsh voices and even crueler hands in his own home. Or that Dally would come bursting through the door, cool dripping off him like rain off a roof in a thunderstorm. He was tuff. They both were.

Darry disappeared down the hall, his boots making the same sound their dad's used to, heavy yet smooth. Pont thought about the last time he saw their parents , nearly five years ago, and realized he hadn't thought about them in awhile. He felt his face flush with shame and he wondered if he was the only one. Did Soda think about them? Did Darry? It's not that he'd forgotten, he hadn't. But maybe he was starting to.

Pony heard the shower go on in the bathroom and resumed his homework. It was English, nothing too hard, and Pony made a point to get good grades. Maybe he wouldn't be going to college, but he didn't want Darry to think he'd failed as a guardian, as a dad. He thought of all Darry had given up since then. Soda too. If it hadn't been for him, maybe they'd be somewhere, at least somewhere other than Tulsa, Oklahoma.

His homework completed, he closed his notebook and walked to the living room. It was silent other than the hum of the shower and the slight breeze that blew leaves across their porch. They kept the door open, though the screen was shut, to cut down on heating and cooling costs. Pony flopped down on the couch and began flipping through the channels. He sighed, a few strands of hair falling over his forehead. It was brown again, but the process of growing it out again seemed to take forever and the blond didn't exactly make him look tuff. In the end he'd cut it short enough to rid himself of the last trace of Windrixville. It was finally back to what it used to be.

Since Johnny and Dallas died, he thought he'd never get the smell, the sight, the taste as it were, out of his mind. But once the blond hair was gone, his memories seemed to dim, as if their vividness were solely tied to his locks. He still had the book Johnny had left him, along with the letter. The letter had become worn along the edges from reading it so much. It was the only thing he had left of Johnny and right after Johnny died, Pony used to read it every day. He didn't anymore. One day Soda had come home early from the DX (Pony later found out a jack had slipped out from under a vehicle right after Soda had been under it, and he'd been too shaky to properly get any more work done that day) and found Pony, letter in hand, tears running down his cheeks. Pony hadn't even heard him come in. For a moment, Soda stood in the doorway to their room, his whole being filled with the burden of sadness radiating from his baby brother. His heart clenched in his chest, unshed tears building in his own eyes. Soda knew what that letter was. He crept slowly into the room, and sat softly on the bed, gently taking the letter from Pony's trembling hands. Setting the letter carefully on the bed, he moved so that he was close enough to feel the heat from Pony's body against his own skin. He then took Ponyboy in his arms, feeling the younger boy succumb to his heartache, his breath releasing in an anguished sigh, as he dissolved into his older brother's arms. The tears that had been silent, and rather discreet, now fell with a desperate intensity, sobs forcing themselves from his body. Soda cradled his brother, his shirt quickly absorbing Pony's grief. He brushed his hands through Pony's hair in an effort to provide some sort of comfort. After awhile, the distress and energy seemed to lessen. "Sometimes I can't catch my breath Soda. It's too much." It came out in a whisper, the heartache profound.

Soda held Pony at arm's length, brushing the remaining tears from his brother's face. "You've seen too much for fourteen, Pony. And I'm sorry we couldn't protect you from that. But Pony, you can't keep torturing yourself with it all." Pony's eyes fell. "I'm not saying don't remember, but don't force yourself not to forget." He reached for the letter then. "Maybe its time to put this away for awhile." Pony felt the breath go out of his lungs. "Not get rid of it, just put it away." Soda's voice broke. Johnny was a part of all of them. "It's destroying you, Pone."

Ponyboy had put the letter in Gone With the Wind and put the book in his desk. He thought about it more often than he'd admit, but he had kept his promise to Soda about not reading the letter again. He knew Soda didn't mean forever, but he was afraid if he got it out again, it would throw him into a place he'd never be able to get out of.

Turning his attention back to the television, he settled on the news for something to occupy his mind. "…not sure how the fire started as of yet, but firefighters are here at the scene trying to keep the blaze under control…" Pony sat forward, fully alert as the image on the screen registered. The DX. Fire. "Soda." He breathed. "SODA!"