"How many of us have there been travelling with you?"

The Doctor huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets as they stepped out of the coffee shop. This was exactly the conversation he was dreading, since Rose met Sarah Jane, and of course, she wouldn't let him get out of it, not until he entertained her questions.

"Does it matter?" he asked, turning around to face her. She frowned, and he knew she was annoyed with his vague non-answer. She always hated when he did that.

"Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line," she snapped. The Doctor frowned, his jaw clenched. She wasn't. She was never like the others. But he couldn't tell her that – not when that would ruin it, everything they had. So he swallowed back the words on the tip of his tongue and said something else instead.

"As opposed to what?" he responded.

"I thought you and me were – " Rose cut herself off, frowning. She looked away from him, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I obviously got it wrong. I've been to the year five billion, right, but this? Now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're going to do to me?"

His hearts seized at the thought and he swallowed. He stared at her until she glanced back up at him to meet her eyes.

"No. Not to you," he said firmly, and her features softened, only slightly, at his sincerity. He could never do that to her – he didn't have the strength.

"But Sarah Jane. You were that close to her once, and now you never even mention her. Why not?"

"I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die," the Doctor said, looking away from her. He knew the words were harsh, but hoped they would make her understand. "Imagine watching that happen to someone who you love."

The end of his sentence hung in the air for a long moment. His eyes snapped to hers the second he realized what he had said, and his heart rate picked up. He could practically hear it, in the shocked silence that fell over them. He wanted to regret it, but he couldn't. What he felt, rather, was a sense of guilty relief – some part of him was glad she finally knew, that he'd finally said it.

Rose stared at him with wide eyes, and her voice was soft when she spoke.

"You – you love me?"

Her voice cracked on the last word, and he hated how uncertain she sounded. He thought she had known. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to find his voice, but in the end, all he could do was nod. Her breath caught.

They stared at each other, Rose frozen with shock and the Doctor shifting uncomfortably, feeling bare. It was all on the table now, what he had been trying to hide from the moment he'd met her. He rubbed his face tiredly.

"Rose," he said, "I'm – "

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. Her voice was thick, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare apologize. You can't take it back, I won't let you."

"You can spend the rest of your life with me – "

"I can, and I will," she said vehemently. "I love you."

The Doctor's eyes widened at her admission. He had known, of course – but she'd never said the words aloud, and he felt a pang in his chest. Relief that she felt the same, dread that he would lose her one day – his emotions rushed out of control and he was lost in a whirlwind, struggling to find words.

"You shouldn't," he said finally, his voice quiet on the empty street. He didn't deserve her love, her goodness, any of it.

She stalked toward him purposefully, and for fleeting instant he thought she was going to hit him, until her hands reached out for the lapels of his coat and tugged him toward her into a familiar hug. Without thinking, he buried his face in her hair, his arms wrapping around her waist. Her own arms clasped around his neck. Her hands ran gently through his hair, trying to erase the nervous tension from his body.

"I don't care," she said softly. "I love you."

"You can spend the rest of your life with me," he repeated hoarsely, "but I can't spend the rest of mine with you."

Rose clutched him tighter, as if her embrace could shield him from the inevitable future. She didn't deny it – she couldn't, not when she knew it was true. He shivered and unconsciously burrowed closer to her human warmth, her lovely scent, and god, it wasn't fair, all he wanted was to just be with her –

"We have this," she said, interrupting his wild train of thought. "We have now."

She pulled back just enough to cup his face in her hands and look in his eyes. He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes.

"Make this worthwhile," she whispered. He hesitated.

"Rose – "

"Please, Doctor."

He stopped fighting as she breathed his name, throwing all of his rules to the wind. He clutched her tighter, pressed his lips to hers, and pretended, just for a moment, that he would have her in his arms forever.