A/N: I was very, very tempted to name Shisui's alias Yukio, which would, of course, have brought the Blue Exorcist references up to four, I believe?

Published: 3/28/2018

Warnings: An anime spoiler which, personally, I found really dumb

Chapter 4

The Tail

It did not take Kakashi long to realize that Naruto had gained a rather efficient tail. A rather efficient tail that even Kakashi, of all people, was having a hard time keeping track of.

Holy hell, what were they teaching kids these days? True, Kakashi himself had been a Genin by the age of five, but this was getting ridiculous.

Child prodigy this, child prodigy that, blah blah blah.

Whatever.

All that mattered was that Naruto-kun had somehow gained a stalker. True, as the village Jinchuriki it was downright normal for Anbu and the such to trail behind Naruto on occasion, but this? This was different. This one was taking a rather different approach than the typical 'hide out in the shadows and watch from afar' tactic the Anbu favored.

How did Kakashi know this?

"Rin-niisan! Meet my new friend! This is Karma-kun!"

Kakashi took one look at this so called Karma-kun. Red hair, mischievous eyes, and a lazy smile. Kakashi disliked him immediately.

That's not surprising.

Kakashi did not like children. Never had, never would. Naruto was a unique exception to the rule. He was the only exception, although that did tend to depend on the time of day and the current alignment of the stars. Kakashi loved Naruto, he really did, but Naruto could be one annoying little brat when he put his mind to it.

Which was why Kakashi was fond of setting Naruto on people that had displeased him.

Kakashi had never claimed to be a saint, although unleashing the pranking horror that was Naruto Uzumaki on anyone was probably an act that would get him a special reserved place in hell.

As Kakashi, or, rather, the Kakashi clone known as Rin took in Karma, it didn't take him long to realize that there was something… Off about the other boy. At first glance, there was nothing amiss at all, nothing strange, nothing out of the ordinary.

Just a young boy, around Naruto's age. He carried himself with a casual air of overconfidence, which no self respecting ninja did, not even a Kage. Overconfidence was the greatest weakness any ninja could have.

It only takes a single knife stroke to end a life.

It only takes a single slip up for a Genin to slay a Kage.

This kid looked just like that. An ordinary kid. Nothing amiss at all whatsoever. Regardless, Kakashi could feel something… Off. Years had trained him not to ignore even the smallest of instincts, and this instinct wasn't anything resembling 'small'.

So, Kakashi crossed his arms and glared. The so called Karma, if that was even his real name which, lets face it, probably wasn't, pouted at him.

"Hello, Rin-san. Naruto-kun has told me all about you! You're such a wonderful person, helping him all this time, especially when all the grownups are being so weird about it!"

Kakashi suppressed the growl from ripping past his lips. Luckily, before he could say anything himself, Naruto stepped in.

"Shut up!" Naruto snapped, face red, but not from anger, no. Blushing. Naruto was legitimately blushing. Kakashi resisted the urge to coo. He was an adult. Adults do not coo.

Years later, Kakashi would rant to anyone that listened about his 'cute little Genin', much to said Genin's embarrassment.

"Who're you and why have I never seen you before?" Kakashi instead said, jumping right to the point, arms crossed as he gazed at the other boy with unmasked suspicion.

"Nii-san!" Naruto cried, scandalized.

"It's okay, Naruto." The little liar said, placing a calming hand on Naruto's shoulder. Kakashi resisted the urge to tear of the arm belonging to said arm. "He's just worried, 'cause the grown ups are weirdos."

As if to prove his point, one of said adults purposely and with all the subtlety of a freight train barrelled right in between the pair of them, purposely shoving Karma away as far as he could from Naruto before shooting Naruto a dirty look and scurrying off.

Naruto blinked.

"See, they're weird! Which makes you fascinating! Why do they act like that?" Karma turned towards Naruto, eyes curious.

This was obvious.

Too obvious.

Kakashi started to swear in the confines of his own head. He supposed he could try to play this as an overprotective brother figure, but he already suspected the 'boy' in front of him was a ninja in disguise.

A ninja that was all but baiting him.

Bait Kakashi would normally never, ever sink his teeth into, but that's exactly what he'd done, wasn't it? Well, Kakashi would just have to roll with it now. It's not like he had bitten in too deep.

He'd just responded to a casual greeting from a supposed preschooler with snared lips and crossed arms.

Naruto's expression became melancholy.

"I don' know. Nii-san knows, but he won't tell me until I get into the Academy! So, I'll be the greatest ninja ever, dattebeyo!"

Kakashi nearly fell over.

Holy hell.

If there was any doubt before that Naruto was the son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, it had been just tossed right out the window and through a couple of stone walls. Naruto had never even met his mother! How in the world was he emulating her beyond the grave?

(Within Naruto's seal, Kushina smirked.

"Kushina, honey, we don't have that much Chakra before we fade. Stop doing that thing where you influence our son's dreams."

"As if you're any better." Kushina rolled her eyes, turning to look at her husband. "You're half the reason he's obsessed with, well, you."

Minato paused.

"Hm. Touche.")

Kakashi was just glad Naruto had not said 'Dattabane'. He wasn't sure he could have kept his expression blank if he had.

Karma's eyes widened in surprise, gazing at Kakashi with new light. Knowing light before it faded, hidden behind a mask. A mask that had slipped for just a second, but that had been long enough.

Kakashi was not impressed.

"Oh, really? That's mean of him, don't you think? Making you wait like that about information that's about you?"

Oh hell no. Who did this brat think he was? Trying to turn Naruto against him? Well, Kakashi would teach him. He wasn't about to bow over to some random newcomer.

Naruto frowned, apparently having not considered this at all.

"Unless, of course, he was lying and was hoping he could find out by the time you get into the Academy, so he could have an excuse."

Twice. That was twice the kid had given Kakashi an out so far.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. Well then. If newbie wanted to play, he would oblige.

Several hours later, the real Kakashi stood before his favorite monument, the Memorial Stone. He had just gotten back from a mission, and of course, as usual, the first stop he'd made after delivering his report to the Hokage was to come here and tell Obito about it all. Well, the non clasified details, anyways.

How idiotic would Kakashi be to reveal important information out here in the open where anyone could possible hear if they managed to sneak up on him? Sure, it wasn't a likely scenario, but Kakashi wasn't willing to rule anything out.

In a certain filler arc of the anime, a teenage Kakashi sneezed after having told the Memorial Stone about Kushina's pregnancy while Tobi loitered around in the background.

Kakashi supposed that he might spend a little too much time contemplating the past and those he had lost instead of on the present, but they were what kept him going.

He was doing this for them.

Even if they were gone, Kakashi himself wasn't. If he had to carry their legacy on his back, then so be it. That was exactly what Kakashi would do.

It was then that the memories struck. Like clockwork, at the exact same time every single day, Kakashi's enhanced Kage Bunshin would unleash it's accumulated memories. True, it wasn't advisable to gain a day's worth of memories all at once, but Kakashi had learned to adapt to the rapid flow easily enough.

Except, this time, there was something… Off.

Kakashi blinked.

Then, he blinked again.

Kakashi resisted the urge to swear, loudly.

What in the hell had his clone been thinking?

Kakashi spun, marching towards the village.

Shisui groaned as he laid back. Henging himself as a kid all day long had been rather difficult, even for someone like him. Illusions always came naturally to the Uchiha, but keeping one up for that long was a rather draining thing. And, Shisui had kept the damn thing up for hours.

Thank the Sage that none of the Orphanage workers were members of the Hyuga Clan. Shisui was sure he'd have been caught right away.

Come to think of it, there was one person Shisui had deemed suspicious, although the how still eluded him.

Naruto's so called 'Rin-Niichan'.

That boy… Shisui groaned, turing over and burying his head in a pillow. Of course, the second the kid had shown up in the orphanage years ago, the Hokage had him tailed. Nothing in a ninja village happens without it's Kage being aware of it, not even some random kid appearing in the orphanage.

Especially when said random kid attached himself to the hip to the resident Jinchuriki.

By all accounts, Rin was a civilian. True, his Chakra level was rather high, but high by the standards of a civilian and nothing more. Even Shisui's Sharingan hadn't uncovered anything odd about the kid when Shisui had managed to activate it, even if only for a brief second.

To the Sharingan, a second is all the time in the world. It's all you need. It records and analysis at a speed that is completely ungodly, and it had taken Shisui less than that second to analyze Rin.

He looked completely and utterly normal.

His reaction to Shisui had been expected, too. Shisui had expected the brat to act defensive. He would have too, if Shisui was being honest. Shisui loved his village. He really did. He wouldn't have become a Shinobi, wouldn't have bled and fought for Konoha if he didn't.

But, seeing the way the villagers treated Naruto Uzumaki first hand with his own eyes, well…

Shisui wanted to turn his head and look away in shame.

Shisui could now see why Hatake had wanted to adopt Naruto all those years ago. That poor kid. Still, Shisui had a job to do. A long term one. He was the Jinchuriki's bodyguard.

On the bright side, even the Hokage could acknowledge that even Shinobi needed a break every once and awhile. An exhausted nin made for a nin that made mistakes, and that Hiruzen would not abide by. Not when it could have easily been avoided by a couple of hours of naptime.

Silently, Shisui wondered who the night guard was. Probably some random Anbu.

Ignoring the thought, Shisui rolled over.

Okay. So, first day on the job had been… Funner than expected. He wasn't entirely sure how he got dragged into a threeway prank war between him, Uzumaki, and Rin, but it had happened.

Silently, Shisui wondered if he would ever be allowed back into the market place again while disguised as Karma, or if the merchants there would scream and call the Police Force on his head.

Shisui shivered at the thought.

His henge was good, to the point where it looked and felt solid, but a henge was still a henge. It wouldn't hold against a dojutsu. One of those would rip right through it.

Shisui did not want to explain to the Clan Head what his new mission was. If there was one person in the world that Shisui trusted less than his Hokage, it was Fugaku Uchiha.

That thought alone sobered Shisui up.

Konoha… Really had it's dark secrets, shoved right under the bed, didn't it? A Kage that insinuated mind raping a kid into submission, and a Clan Head so hungry for power that Shisui had started hearing whispers, started hearing stories.

He hoped it wasn't real.

He hoped they were just rumors.

Shisui concluded that he'd ask Itachi. True, Itachi was just a little boy, almost a teen now, but he always did seem to be in the middle of things.

Shisui just hoped that they were just rumors.

There was literally no way Konoha would survive the chaos of an Uchiha Coup d'etat.

Kakashi gazed at the ruined marketplace.

A day. His clone had done this… In a day.

In a bloody day.

People were running around left and right, there was graffiti and paint in all directions, and Kakashi was pretty sure old man Yama's shop had been TP's into oblivion. He couldn't even see the shop.

Kakashi twitched, tilting his head up to the sky.

Clones really were troublesome.