Wanted to write something in the eyes of Craig. Somewhat an art AU I guess? That's what I'll refer to it as. I wanted to delve into things like the few scenes where the Craig, Kyle and Butters friendship was shown in the show and build on that because I thought it made an interesting and possibly cute trio. Wanted to try bring back some old tropes that were left behind in early seasons.

Also who else just ran with Craig's sister being Ruby and had the game remind us that she didn't actually have a name til now? Because my life changed when I found out I think.

hope you enjoy!

...

So I used to think my life was all laid out in front of me. I like nice and boring, so it made sense that I would stay with the same guy I've been with since the fourth grade, graduate together and kinda just get married and shit. And all our friends would kind of do the same because none of us were leaving this shitty town anyway.

And then it happened. Something changed in my life and I couldn't handle it. At all. I'm usually really good with controlling my emotions so I never said anything I never regretted. And when this event came to a head I still managed to keep myself in check even I was impressed with myself. Because it hurt, a lot. And all our friends were watching.

"Craig, please don't look at me like that." Tweek was calm, the fidget spinner I bought him spinning furiously in his fingers. He was nervous and stressed out. "I can't stay here. I have to move. And I wont be coming back. The school my parents found me will be a weight lifted! I won't have to stress anymore because everyone there is like me!"

"On drugs?" I merely responded. "Or with parents that think their kids are messed up?"

He didn't like either of my suggestions. His face was darkening. "Kids who can't handle so much pressure from their lives! And besides, it's close to the college I want to go to. So it makes sense I set myself up there now and not once we graduate."

I kept my hands firmly in my pockets, because I'm pretty sure my nails are digging into my palms right now. "I know, and I should be happy that you're leaving. But I'm not."

"We can still call and facetime each other. And I can come visit on weekends." Tweek's lip is quivering and I can tell he knows what's going to come out of my mouth. He's tried to prepare for it but can't.

"I don't do distance." I looked down at my shoes. "I'm sorry. But I think it best that if you leave this town behind, you leave me in it. I don't think it's fair on either of us to expect to hold on when we'll drift apart. We'll be kidding ourselves otherwise. And look at you? How I can let you live somewhere else and pretend like people won't be all over you?" I breath in deep. This is harder than I thought, but it's all true. I've imagined this before and that's when I knew that I was possibly not into it as I thought I was.

"Craig, I-" He faulters and I look up at his face. His face a few inches higher than mine. He finally sighs. "I-If that's what you want then, I guess this is goodbye."

He turns and leaves with a hand over his face, and I stand there wanting to say I'm sorry but it never comes out. I opt to stare on as students begin looking at me like I'm a monster. Again. Stan, Kenny, Clyde and Token all turn their backs and follow my now official ex-boyfriend, and others disperse and leave me alone. Probably for the best anyway. I don't like breaking down in front of people.

Only one person stays back; Kyle Broflovski. Someone I once thought wasn't interested in my life, and at that moment I was staring into green eyes of a true friend. One that understood my needs, and he said nothing as I finally gave in and cried in his arms.

And now it's two years later, and Kyle has stayed with me. Never spoken about what happened either which I was grateful for. But I felt guilty. Because on that day not only did I destroy my relationship, but I also partially destroyed his friendship. Stan wasn't okay with him siding with me and in doing so they fought. For a few months on and off. It's all cool now but they don't see each other as much as they used to. Because I've slowly filled that void. My friend group straight up stopped talking to me and still to this day refuse to have anything to do with me. It makes handing out flyers to parties awkward because they have to do it without Kyle and I finding out that we're not welcome. But being sneaky makes it very obvious. Not that we really care because he's not the kind to go out and get wasted or even drink. He can't because of his diabetes anyway. And because of Tweek I refuse to have any kind of drug.

"Yeah I don't agree with the concept of this essay either." Kyle is talking to our only other friend, Butters ironically. I mean, the three of us hung out a lot in the fourth grade because we didn't want to deal with bullshit but we grew very close over the two years. Kyle continues what he was saying. "Because the teacher is asking for both the facts and our opinions and that doesn't make any sense. So to make it kind of work I write a paragraph of the facts, and then I write my opinion in a paragraph straight after. Most people mush them together but Mr. Reigh actually reads our shit so it won't cut it."

"Gee, thanks Kyle. I would've never been able to write this otherwise." Butters looks over to me, and of course I'm already eyeing him off. "Have uh, you finished the essay too Craig?"

"Pfft. Me? Finish early? The world will end if that ever happened." I scratch my left eyebrow. "I was listening though so I can actually do it now. Thanks to this babe." I poke Kyle in his cheek and he responds with that deadpan look I love seeing. Oh yeah, I'm still pretty gay.

I spot Stan and Kenny with Clyde and Token, having a great time amongst themselves. They must've felt my gaze because they all stop laughing and stare and just glare back at me. I roll my eyes and lean back on the lunch bench we occupy. Kyle however doesn't stand for it. Well, he technically does because he's up on his feet and stomping over, but you know what I was getting at. It's a bit funny to see since he's the shortest guy in school (me a close second but you know, guys like us have to get fucked in every sense with life), but god was he a fiery ball of intimidation. I've never seen a more pathetic scene of my little man berating giants and making them cower before him.

"Are you gonna stop him?" Butters ask nervously, fidgeting with his thumbs and I could see in his eyes he was considering going and getting the red head, who was getting louder every time one of the idiots tried to cut him off or reason with him. I shake my head at the blonde.

"Nope. Let him have this one. He's been dying to do this since I broke up with Tweek." I stretch my legs and out and we both cringe at my spine cracking in several places loudly.

"I hope I'm not being insensitive but," Butters is looking down at his fingers and flexing them. "Do you miss him?"

"Sometimes. But not in that pining way." Truth. I was over him, because he made me get over him really quickly. He waited two months before dating again and plastering it all over Instagram. "I miss having another gay person to hit on I guess. Like you guys just take it on the chin and it's just harmless fun. But I want it to be meaningful you know?"

"Gee Craig, I uh, I'm sorry you feel that way." He rubbed his nose. "I wish that I could help you. Maybe if I find a nice gay person I'll send 'em your way." He leant in, rather than shuffling over into Kyle's previous spot. "Have you ever asked Kyle what he likes? Because heck if I know anymore."

"I actually haven't. It's not something I would pry into." Again truth. We've never had the conversation come up. "I don't want to go there. If I did fall for him I would have to leave because I couldn't handle looking at him a different way and him not notice or care."

"Well, if you say so." Butters settles back, and we both watch as Kyle strides back to us with a huge grin on his face. He slumps back between us and places his arms on the table behind our backs.

"Well, that's one thing sorted." He was so proud of himself, and it was really cute. "It's horrible to do but I said that if they kept it up I'd tell PC Principal back in elementary that four of his ex students were targeting a gay kid. They shouldn't bother you now."

I raised my brow. "Oh, thanks? It took you this long to think of that?"

He looked at me and seemed taken aback. "Truth be told I thought they would get over it like the silly heteros they are but apparently they're gayer than you."

"Won't argue that." I fished a few lollipops from my pocket and offered. Butters took one and I started putting the rest away bar one for myself as Kyle waved a hand dismissively like I knew he would. Because diabetes and all. I unwrapped it and shoved it in my mouth, expecting a usual smart remark. But it didn't come.

Kyle was instead staring out at the other people in our class. He does it a lot when there's a huge crowd so it's not obvious. A few girls were chattering and giggling amongst themselves while pointing at us. Others seemed to be scared of catching his eye in case he had round two up his sleeve. More to the point, people seemed impressed with him.

"So when did you become such a stud." Ugh, female voice. I don't recognise the face though, so I'm guessing she's in a year below us. All I can see is her bra hanging out her top and the lace is really distracting. Seriously black bra under a white shirt?

"No." Kyle is very short and dismissive with my second favourite word in the world.

"But I was just-"

"No."

"But you won't even let me-"

"What part of no don't you understand?" Ouch. Right to the point this one.

She doesn't seem to take a hint. I help a brother out and wrap my arm around him and grip the side of his thigh firmly.

"He's not interested so fuck off." I add with the lollipop still in my mouth.

She looks like she either wants to yell at me or spit in my face but she turns and mutters something about fags as she leaves. I grin and roll my lolli from one cheek into the other, feeling it clatter all my fucked up teeth in its travels. Kyle gives a few nods of his head.

"Thanks for that." He pokes the fat on my stomach and I let go him quickly. "Girls do my head in."

Butters leans behind Kyle's head and flashes me a look that I want to wipe off his face.

…

"So ugh, how are you?"

When Kyle said he sorted things out with the other guys, I didn't realise it would follow up with Stan actually speaking to me. And trying to care about my feelings. It was weird since we haven't spoken for two years, but then again Stan and I never really saw eye to eye because I stood up for myself and my beliefs and he was just a little bitch. He still is, all five foot eleven of him. He's staring at me hopefully, like a little lost puppy who thinks its just found someone to follow. I guess he expects me to answer. I mean, I will, because in the end he's still my friend's friend and I shouldn't make that area any harder to deal with than it already was.

"I'm fine? Having trouble finding dates in a school of straight people but that's about all that's wrong." I close my locker and turn to lean on it. Partially so he wasn't breathing down my neck and partially because he's so god damn tall. I hate being so short. I'm buying platforms after school.

"That's good." Oh no, dreaded small talk with Stan Marsh of all people. "Listen, I doubt a simple apology is ever gonna fix things, but I have been thinking we've taken things too far and I'm sorry that I made you feel like you'd never be good enough to speak to."

"Is this because of Kyle totally curbing your ass today or what?" I gestured outward. "Either way, it was my relationship and no one should've gotten involved. I put up with all the bullshit because in the end Kyle and Butters were more important to me as friends and people who didn't judge either side. Everyone is so quick to jump on someone who seems cold and uncaring because its easy right? But fuck my feelings because being closed in means I don't have them clearly."

Stan looked like I hit a nerve. "It wasn't that. I guess it was just the way you said it. There was something in your tone that hinted that you wanted to break up with him way before you actually did."

Nope. Guess it was him to hit mine. I felt my lip quiver and I hate myself for it. "When you start imagining yourself with other guys then it's a clear sign that you're the problem and that you need to be the solution. I felt like shit breaking that guy's heart but in the end it was him that moved on really quickly. I've slept with guys but it was literally for them to see if they were bisexual. Spoiler alert, all three of them hated it and were definitely straight. So there you go. I have no feelings for Tweek anymore but every day I'm reminded that all this now is my fault because I decided that someone else was better to think about while jerking it."

I shook my head and stalked off, hating myself more as I walked on. I needed one of my guys right now to tell me I'm not stupid for what I just said. It's the weakest I'll ever be, opening up like that to someone.

"Dude, wait up!" I feel his hand clasp around my wrist and stop me in my tracks. "Don't beat yourself up and walk away from me. Talk to me."

I finally feel composed and turn to him. "If it's all the same to you I'd rather it stay as it is. I don't want to talk about this anymore. It gets too personal and we're nowhere near that level yet."

He lets go and nods. "Just know that I'm here for you, alright? Don't think you're alone in all this."

"I know." I reply simply, planted firmly in my place. "That's what Kyle is for now. Whether you like it or not."

"I know."

…

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Weeknights that I hung out with Kyle alone. Weekends was when Butters tagged along. Though today I decided to break that cycle. I felt bad about blowing someone off who I see most of my waking life with, but as I walked through the mall and up to the second floor I began to not feel too bad. It was something I had done on a whim the other night; applied for a job for a new Art store that had opened up and was near my favourite candy store. And considering that I kind of wanted to start making my own money instead of relying on my dad's pity money I felt confident as I stood outside and looked into the store.

I'm a big art nerd, and this was like an orgasm staring at all the supplies newly stocked on the shelves. I took a breath before walking up to the counter. Arrays of pens and pencils behind a girl with bubblegum pink hair. She looked up before straightening and smiling.

"Hi! How're you going today?" She asked politely in that fake retail tone.

"I uh, Came for a job interview." I said, unsure of how formal I was supposed to be. I mean, the girl had pink hair.

"You must be Craig. Excellent! So it's not so much an interview but a confirmation of what you submitted to us." She disappeared behind the counter for a few seconds, before popping back up with a small folder. As she flicked through she readied with a pen. "So just to confirm that you said you can work the Friday afternoons; would you be willing to stay after close til late to help with stock rotation, prep and store rearrangements as we do it on regular for sales?"

"That's correct. I drive so I can stay back as long as you need me that day."

"Excellent!" A tick on the form I submitted. "And with weekend work we only need you one day each week, with every third weekend being off. Is that cool?"

"Yeah that's fine."

"And you can open the store on Wednesday mornings?"

"Yeah I can stay til twelve before my afternoon class."

Huge ticks everywhere, and I was really focused on how the ink was flowing from the pen. She smiled at me and flipped the page over. "Well, you have the job for sure! So I just wanted that all clear, and that if you get your forms filled and returned by tomorrow you can start as soon as next Friday if that's cool with you."

She gave me the papers, and I suddenly felt the corners of my mouth lift instantly as I took them. "T-thanks. I'll bring them tomorrow morning. I-thanks."

…

I was kind of glad I was going straight home, because my mouth was still in a stupid smile and my face was actually hurting. I, Craig Tucker, had actually achieved something in life. Finally I could work my way through school and not rely on dad's pity money for being single still.

I could hear my parents chatting once I got to the door, and as I entered it was of course berating my dumb sister for wearing a skirt that barely covers what little ass she actually has. Yeah, Tricia has hit that stage of her life.

They stop as I enter the kitchen, and she gives me that famous Tucker shit eating grin and I finally fell my face fall a lot harder than usually. "Craig's got a new boyfriend. He's totally been laid from that face."

"Tricia Ruby Tucker!" Mom exclaims and looks like she's going to smack her upside the head. They just flip each other off before I flip them both off, papers slightly crumpling in my hand.

"I got a job at an art store. As in just walked in and they wanted me." I flicked the papers. "I was hoping after dinner you could help me fill them out and I can drop them off in the morning."

My dad poked his head in around from the dining room. "Did I hear right? Our son has a job?"

"Yes dad, he's got a job where it's more likely he'll find someone as gay as him." Tricia poked her tongue out at me. "How did you get in so easily? I thought art stores hired cool people."

"They do. My boss has pink hair." I gave a look in her direction that I was not letting her shit on my parade. "I sent them a picture I drew in pen and they loved it. And they wanted a stock boy so obviously with a name like mine they'd assume that I am indeed a guy."

"I think it's great you're putting yourself out there son!" Dad finally joined the rest of us, fishing in his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. Here we go. "You're having the boys over tomorrow right? While you're in the mall go get them their favourite sweets from the candy store you all love. Get some other snacks and soda too while you're at it. You need to celebrate this milestone son!"

A fifty shoved in my hand. I just stare at it. Truth was I wasn't going to tell anyone what I was doing. I just didn't need people finding out that how stereotypical it was that the gay kid was working at an art store. That was the stereotype wasn't it? I know like four movies and a tv show with that stereotype. Oh well.

"Go get cleaned up and for god sake Tricia put your ass away before I hand it back to you on a platter!" My mom clearly wasn't taking her bullshit tonight either. Good. My sister was a loser. She's a Tucker; it's a given.

"Ugh, this family is so lame!"

Yes. Yes we are. Deal with it.