The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. The Summer of Disney continues as Sean reviews the underrated Disney classic Oliver and Company. And I'm not doing this review alone because fellow co-writer Boris Yeltsin is co-reviewing this movie with me. Anyway, sit back and enjoy this hilarious review for The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Oliver and Company is owned by Walt Disney Pictures.
The Summer of Disney Part II: Oliver and Company
The episode opens as we see Sean's cat, Riley, waking up on a cat bed and yawns.
Riley: (Voiced by Sean) (Speaking cheerfully) Oh, boy! What a great morning! I'm Riley. Time to enjoy this beautiful day! (Walks out of the living room and enters the kitchen as Taylor gives her some cat food) I wonder what's on today's menu. You want to know what I love to eat for breakfast? I love to eat Sheba for breakfast. I love Sheba, my favorite wet food. I also love Blue Buffalo. They're my favorites. Technically, Blue Buffalo isn't made from buffalos that are blue. I haven't seen a blue buffalo before in my life.
(Riley goes to her owner's entertainment room and looks at the collection of movies and television shows on his shelf)
Riley: These are my owner's DVDs. He's a big movie buff. Hello, Pretty Little Liars! I'm Riley. Nice to meet you.
(Gizmo, Brian's cat, enters the room and starts scratching on the door)
Gizmo: (Voiced by Brian) Ugh! You weirdo. Why are you talking to a DVD? It's not a cat.
Riley: (Sees Gizmo) Says who, fat boy?
Gizmo: I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I don't know why the two of them watch that show. It's a stupid show filled with stupid teen drama.
Riley: It's not a stupid show! And stop scratching at Sean's door. You don't live in a barn.
Gizmo: Whatever. I can do whatever I want. I wonder if there's another door to scratch.
Riley: Ugh, men!
(Riley walks over to Sean's couch and jumps on it as she sees the Blu-Ray/DVD copy of Oliver and Company)
Riley: Ooh! Oliver and Company! That's one of Sean's favorite Disney movies. I wonder if that's going to be the movie that he's going to review.
Gizmo: Nice. Never heard of it.
Riley: You've never heard of Oliver and Company? What were you doing living under a rock?
Gizmo: No, I was just laying around while my two brothers Oreo and Milo were playing around. May they rest in peace.
Riley: It's like Oliver Twist but with cats and dogs.
Gizmo: Ooh, cats and dogs. I guess Sean and Brian are going to review it are they?
Riley: Well, let's watch them and see what they think about the movie while we act adorable. I'm Gizmo!
Gizmo: No, you're not! You're Riley!
Riley: Oh, that's right. I'm Riley.
(We cut to Sean and Brian, who are both sitting on the couch)
"You wanna talk about Oliver and Company?" Brian asked.
"Sure." Sean said.
(The title of the movie is shown, along with clips from the movie)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, I think it's about time that we take a look at this movie. Released in theaters on November 18th, 1988, Oliver and Company was the last film in Disney's transitional era before Disney went into the Disney Renaissance Era.
Brian: (Narrating) It was the twenty-seventh animated feature for Walt Disney Pictures and it was the first one to begin production under the supervision of CEO Michael Eisner and chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg.
Sean: (Narrating) After the release of The Black Cauldron back in 1985. Yeah, the darkest point of Disney. Eisner and Katzenberg invited animators to pitch potential for upcoming animated features for they call it the "gong show".
(A picture of Mike Myers as the fictional game show host Tommy Maitland from the 2017 revival is shown)
"Not that Gong Show." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Various ideas came and went, with some that were rejected and others given a lukewarm response. Two of Disney's best animators John Musker and Ron Clements, suggested The Little Mermaid and Treasure Island in Space. Until story artist Pete Young pitched the idea of Charles Dickens' classic tale Oliver Twist, but set in New York City. And instead of the Fagin character leading a band of pickpocketing orphans, he would instead have a group of dogs. And a cat taking the role of Oliver.
Sean: (Narrating) The pitch was quickly approved and the movie went into production under the working title "Oliver and the Dodger". And we're going to take a look at an underrated classic.
"While our cats take the time to act adorable." Sean said.
(Cut back to Sean and Brian's cats)
Riley: Hey, that's my spot that you're laying on.
(Gizmo tries to hit Riley)
Gizmo: Back off, Sassy!
(Riley hisses at Gizmo)
Riley: Alright, that's it!
(Riley pounces on Gizmo and fights him)
"Let's take a look at Oliver and Company." Brian said.
(The movie opens with a shot of New York City and we see some kittens in a box being sold)
Brian: (Narrating) We open with the wonderful present-day town of New York City and we get our first song of the movie "Once Upon a Time in New York City" performed by Huey Lewis and we see some adorable little kittens on Fifth Avenue being sold for $5.00. Damn, the '80s were cheap.
"Nowadays, it costs like $50 and $150 just to get a cat. I just got Riley for free from my cousin." Sean said.
"Glad that you asked." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We focus on an orange tabby kitten by the name of Oliver, voiced by Joey Lawrence. You know, Joey from Blossom. We see that some of the kittens are getting adopted, until Oliver is all alone in his box in the pouring rain. He then walks through the alleyways until…
(Oliver comes across some vicious looking dogs)
"These are some of the most scariest looking dogs I've ever seen in my life." Brian said.
"Especially that one-eyed dog. That one looked scary." Sean said.
(The dogs chase Oliver. Oliver manages to climb up a fence while the dogs try to climb up)
"Fun fact: the movie was supposed to be much darker and grittier with the film opening with Sykes' Dobermans murdering Oliver's parents, with the film focusing on Oliver exacting his revenge." Brian said.
(A clip from Blossom is shown)
Joey Russo (Played by Joey Lawrence): Whoa, that is serious.
Brian: (Narrating) So, Oliver is left alone and he lives out on the streets. He wanders through the streets of New York by taking time of letting the audience know how adorable he is. Whether it's dancing to rap music or having a little kid who looks like Gohan from Dragonball Z trying to pet him.
Sean: (Narrating) He then comes across a hot dog vendor and tries to steal some hot dogs from him.
Brian: (Narrating) Fun fact, Louie here, is voiced by Frank Welker, who can do a lot of vocal animal effects. Ah, our generation's Mel Blanc.
Louie (Voiced by Frank Welker): Hey, come on, folks! Step right up! Get your hot dogs!
(Oliver sniffs the hot dogs)
Louie: The best hot dogs in town!
(Oliver continues to sniff the hot dogs until Louie catches him)
Louie: (To Oliver) Hey. Go on. Get outta here. Shoo! Get outta here. Go on, kitty.
"Looks like Dr. Claw doesn't like tabbies." Sean said.
Sean: (V/O as Louie, with Dr. Claw's voice) Get out of here, tabby! Let me sell my hot dogs in peace. Get your hot dogs! Fresh hot dogs! Where's that Inspector Gadget?
Sean: (Narrating) We're then introduced to New York's coolest quadruped and possibly the best character of the movie Dodger, voiced by the Piano Man himself Billy Joel.
Brian: (Narrating) He comes across Oliver, who's failing miserably trying to steal food from Louie.
Dodger (Voiced by Billy Joel): Ooh, you sure picked the wrong guy to get hot dogs from, kid.
Oliver (Voiced by Joey Lawrence): Get away from me!
Dodger: Whoa! Chill out, man. I don't eat cats. It's too much fur.
"Stinks this is the only voice role he ever did." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Dodger helps out Oliver with trying to get those juicy hot dogs with a little plan.
Dodger: Our mission, cat, is to liberate those all-beef Kosher Franks, and hightail it outta here. Startin' to feel that rhythm?
Oliver: Well, uh…
(A jackhammer pounds on the pavement)
Oliver: Yeah! Yeah! I do feel it! When are we gonna get those hot dogs?
Dodger: Right... now. (Barks)
(We cut black and we hear the sound of Oliver yelping, followed by blood splatters hitting the screen)
"Again with the fake-outs?" Brian asked.
"Sorry. Force of habit." Sean said, chuckling a bit.
"Don't do it again." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Dodger chases Oliver, giving him a window of opportunity to distract Louie while he grabs the hot dogs. The two of them manage to escape with the hot dogs so they can enjoy their food.
Dodger: Listen, kid. I hate to break it to ya, but the dynamic duo is now the dynamic uno.
Oliver: What do ya mean?
Dodger: What I mean is, our partnership is herewith dissolved.
"Or just screw him like every other New Yorker." Sean said.
(Another clip from Blossom is shown)
Joey Russo: Whoa! Unbelievable!
Brian: (Narrating) And then we come to the next song of the movie and it's probably one of the best and catchiest songs ever in the movie, sung by Billy Joel himself.
(The song "Why Should I Worry?" starts)
Dodger: (Singing) One minute I'm in Central Park, then I'm down on Delancey Street.
(Oliver jumps on top of cars and falls into one, then jumps out)
Man: (Spoken) What the... hey!
Dodger: (Singing) They say from the Bowery to St. Marks, there's a syncopated beat.
Sean: (Narrating) What can we say? This is one of the catchiest songs ever. The lighting, the animation, the music. It's all amazing.
Dodger: (Singing) Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime, but I got street savoit-faire. Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation, I got street savoir-faire. Mmm-hmm.
(Dodger shakes water off of his fur to dry himself off, then turns around and sees Oliver, who's fur is sticking up from the air blowing from the air vents)
"Okay, now that's quite a hair-raising tale." Sean said as the audience boos at him from his bad pun. "What? What? What?! Come on! You know it's funny!"
Brian: (Narrating) You can notice some easter eggs in this sequence. There are three familiar faces from a certain Disney movie. That's right. It's Jock, Peg and Trusty from Lady & the Tramp. They make a quick little cameo in the movie.
"Let's not forget Pongo from 101 Dalmatians." Sean said as a picture of Pongo is shown. "Yeah, we're probably wondering why he's in New York when he should be in London. Try answering that question, Disney."
Sean: (Narrating) After Dodger, forms a doggy congo line, the song ends as Oliver follows Dodger to an old barge out on the Hudson River, that's where Dodger's owner lives. Also on board are several other dogs. We have Tito the Chihuahua voiced by Cheech Marin, a clumsy Great Dane by the name of Einstein voiced by the late Richard Mulligan, a sassy Saluki and the movie's source of perverted furry fanfiction Rita voiced by Sheryl Lee Ralph and an American Bulldog by the name of Frankie, voiced by the Kingpin himself Roscoe Lee Browne.
Francis (Voiced by Roscoe Lee Browne): My name is Francis. Fran-cis. Not Frank. Not Frankie. Francis.
Tito (Voiced by Cheech Marin): No kidding, man?
"Whatever. His name is Francis." Sean said.
Tito: Hey, so what did you bring in today, "Frahn-cees?"
Francis: It's none of your business, you intrusive little pipsqueak.
"Come on, you're the Kingpin. You should say something like this." Brian said.
Francis: (With the Kingpin's voice) The only one who will go "kaboom" is you. I am going to break you in two!
"Yeah, like that." Brian said,
Brian: (Narrating) So, Dodger shows up with the hot dogs that he stole from the vendor to share with the other dogs, but little does everyone know is that Oliver has tracked him down to the barge.
Dodger: Enter Dodger, one bad puppy. Not just out for himself, but community-minded. But he's not the only one out there. Enter the opposition. A greedy, ugly, psychotic monster, with razor-sharp claws, dripping fangs, and nine lives, all of them hungry.
Chocolate Lab [with Brian's voice, in the style of Double D.]: There he goes, another story full of exaggerations.
Dodger: He comes at me, eyes burning. I knew my time had come. Suddenly.
(Oliver screeches and falls into the barge)
Tito: Gang war! Gang war! Watch out! Here comes a gang war!
"CAT!" Sean and Brian both yelled out.
Rita (Voiced by Sheryl Lee Ralph): Well, what is it?
Tito: Hey, man, check it out.
(Tito sniffs at the shirt as Oliver grabs his nose)
Tito: It's a alien!
(Oliver comes out of hiding)
Rita: Cool it, guys. It's just a cat.
(A clip from the Nostalgia Critic is shown)
Nostalgia Critic: CAT!
Sean: (Narrating) Luckily, the dogs are very friendly to Oliver and there won't be any kitty for dinner tonight. We're also introduced to the dogs' owner, a petty criminal by the name of Fagin, voiced by Dom DeLuise. We see here that Fagin is in trouble because he owed money to a shipyard agent and a ruthless loan shark by the name of Bill Sykes, voiced by Robert…
(A clip from the Minute Maid Orange Tangerine commercial is shown)
Boy: Whoa, Robert Loggia!
Robert Loggia: Billy, your mother's right. New Minute Maid Orange Tangerine tastes great. And it's got as much calcium as milk.
Boy: If you say so, Mr. Loggia.
Robert Loggia: Yeah.
Sean: (Narrating) Thank you. He's played by Robert Loggia. And holy fucking shit my Christ! Bill Sykes is scary. And this scene alone right here shows how ruthless he can get.
Sykes (Voiced by Robert Loggia): The money, Fagin.
Fagin (Voiced by Dom DeLuise) Actually, I've got something much better than money. (Hands Sykes a treasure chest of items) Some luxury items that should make a considerable dent in my debt to you. Oh, my! You waxed your car, didn't you? Did they use a buffer on it, because I can see myself.
Sykes: Oh, boy. Oh, boy, Oh, boy. (Hands the chest back to Fagin) I don't want your garbage, Fagin!
Fagin: Oh, please, Sykes. Oh, please. Oh, please.
Sykes: (Dumps his ash tray on Fagin's shoes) I don't think you grasp the severity of the situation./Now, I lent you money and I don't see it. Do you know what happens when I don't see my money, Fagin? (Rolls the window up on Fagin's throat) People get hurt. People like you get hurt. (Blows smoke into Fagin's face, causing him to wheeze)
"Yeah, try adding that to the disclaimer on Disney+. Aside from the movie containing tobacco depictions, add senseless acts of violence." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we see that Sykes' Dobermans Roscoe and Desoto, voiced by Taurean Blacque and Carl Weintraub, are busy trying to intimidate the other dogs.
Francis: Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
Tito: Hey, Frankie, get down, brother. You bad, man.
Roscoe (Voiced by Taurean Blacque): Hey, you got something to say to me, fat boy?
(Francis stammers)
Tito: You guys don't scare me. I'll kill you both, man. Come on, let me at them, I'll kill them! I'll kill them! Come on!
Roscoe: Go ahead. Let him go.
"I'm not afraid of that little pipsqueak. I was on Hill Street Blues for seven seasons. You don't want to mess with me." Sean said, imitating Roscoe while a picture of Taurean Blacque as Detective Neal Washington from Hill Street Blues is shown.
Einstein (Voiced by Richard Mulligan): Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
Roscoe: Like you, old man?
Dodger: Hey, Roscoe. Roscoe, is this us losing our sense of humor?
Roscoe: Nah. I ain't lost my sense of humor. (He destroys the Company's TV set with his feet. Oliver opens and closes his eyes in fear)
"Ah, that's just great! Now I'll never watch the Pretty Little Liars marathon on Lifetime. Stupid dog." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back to Fagin as we see him pleading for his life as Sykes gives him three days to give him the money.
Fagin: Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days. Three, three, three. That's nine. Nine?
Sykes: No, Fagin. Three.
"When the man that you owe money to says three days. He means three days. How did you end up doing business with the guy?" Sean asked.
Brian: (Narrating) Back with the dogs, Desoto ends up finding Oliver and tries to make a meal out of the adorable little tabby.
Desoto (Voiced by Carl Weintraub) I like cats. I like to eat 'em.
(Oliver slashes Desoto on the nose with his claws. Desoto growls in pain as Roscoe rushes over to his friend's aid and corners Oliver until Dodger leaps in to defend his new friend)
Roscoe: Get out of my way, Dodger.
Dodger: (Firm) That's enough, Roscoe.
(Dodger gets backed up by Tito, Rita, Francis and Einstein while the Billy Joel song "We Didn't Start the Fire" plays)
"Oh, yeah. I'm not stopping with the Billy Joel references, especially with the Blossom references." Sean said.
"Expect a lot, ladies and gentlemen." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Before it becomes a bloodbath, Sykes honks his horn for his Dobermans to return to him. And they'll be back and they'll pay, especially that cat.
Brian: (Narrating) On top of all of that mess, Fagin is a dead man because he has three days to come up with the money. And after he saw what happened to Desoto's nose, he takes Oliver in and he becomes a new member of the gang.
Sean: (Narrating) And if you want to see some more adorableness, check this out.
(Oliver sleeps next to Dodger and purrs as the audience awws from the scene)
"Awww, isn't that so cute! Look at the kitty sleeping next to the doggy. Awww, so cute!" Sean cooed.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Fagin and the dogs and Oliver start moving out into the city on a moped. Seriously, how did he manage to fit five dogs and one cat on the back of a moped?
"Animals on a moped? It's like trying to fit a bunch of clowns into a Ford Explorer." Brian said.
"You know that happened to me one time." Sean said.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(We see Sean, stepping out of the house with his American flag face mask. He grabs his keys and walks over to his Ford Explorer. He notices something unusual)
Sean: What the hell?
(Goofy clown music starts playing in the background as we see a bunch of clowns in his car)
Binky the Clown: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!
Sean: What the? Binky the Clown?!
Binky the Clown: Let's go on a trip with Binky the Clown!
Sean: Oh, that's just great! No wonder so many of you clowns are getting COVID-19, you're all packed into one car! Now, I'm gonna have to disinfect the whole damn inside of the car. And outside. Taylor, I'm borrowing your car. There's a bunch of clowns in my car.
Binky the Clown: Hey, Sean! Want to go to the store with me and my friends? There's more room in your car.
Sean: (Glares at Binky) I hate you, Binky!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
"Wow." Brian said.
"Yeah. Do you know how much Lysol that I've sprayed in the car all because of those clowns? I hate that clown." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) So, the dogs and Oliver get busy by working on getting the money for Sykes.
Oliver: What kind of work do we do anyway?
Tito: Investment banking, man. (Grunts) Didn't you read about us in the Wall Street Journal?
"No, but I did read about Bernie Madoff in the Wall Street Journal. He's been stealing money from people." Brian said.
Rita: (To Oliver) We gotta clean you up, child, and give you some on-the-job training.
Sean: (Narrating) And then we get our next song, which is probably my favorite in the movie aside from "Why Should I Worry?", and that song is "Streets of Gold" by Ruth Pointer. It's a fun and pretty underrated song.
Rita: (Sings) You're gonna see how the best survive. We make an art out of staying alive. If you do just as you're told, these are streets of gold. Every boulevard is a miracle mile. You'll take the town, and you'll take it in style…
We then cut to Sean dancing to the song until Brian notices.
"Are you dancing?" Brian asked.
"What? It's a catchy song." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) After that song, the group finds a limousine with a little girl named Jenny inside. Jenny, voiced by Natalie Gregory, is the daughter of the wealthy Foxworth family and we learn that she has Parents Who Care About Money Rather Than Their Kid syndrome like every other kid in children's movies. But her butler Winston, voiced by William Glover, promises her that her parents will make it to her birthday.
Winston (Voiced by William Glover): Oh, don't worry. I-I'm sure they'll be home for your birthday.
Jenny (Voiced by Natalie Gregory): No. (Sighs)
"Jesus, this little girl is making me depressed. I wonder how Alfred Pennyworth deals with this. Maybe because her parents weren't shot by some petty crook." Brian said, imitating Winston.
Sean: (Narrating) The dogs stage an elaborate ruse in order to get Jenny's British butler out of the car, by having Einstein headbutting the car, Francis pretending to be hit by the limo and Tito and Oliver are inside the limo trying to steal it.
"Hmm, I wonder how it will turn out." Sean said.
(Oliver steps on the ignition, electrocuting Tito. Tito screams. The car lights flash repeatedly, and the windshield wipers glide against the windshield, surprising the crowd and Winston)
Winston: (Confused) What's going on here?
"A carjacking gone wrong! That's what's going on here!" Sean exclaimed.
"Doesn't this happen to Tito a few more times in the movie?" Brian asked.
"I think so. Because he's in for a real shock." Sean said as the audience boos at his bad pun again.
"Again with the bad puns? Really?" Brian asked.
Brian: (Narrating) Anyway, Tito gets shocked by the electrical system because of Oliver's mishap. And Jenny finds Oliver tangled up in the wires. With Dodger and Tito tailing the limo, the rest of the dogs head back to Fagin.
Sean: (Narrating) Jenny takes Oliver back to her fancy house, where we're introduced to her prized poodle Georgette, voiced by Bette Midler. And then we get the next song of the movie, which is sung by Ms. Midler, herself.
(Georgette gasps at the bangs in her eyes and the curlers in her hair)
(The song "Perfect Isn't Easy" starts)
Georgette (Voiced by Bette Midler): (Sings) Girl, we've got work to do. (She dabs her paw in eyeshadow paint and puts it on her left eyelid) Pass me the paint and glue.
"Well, I'm all out of Valspar paint and Taylor used up all of the Elmer's glue. I guess you're out of luck, babe." Sean said.
(Georgette poses in front of the fireplace)
Georgette: (Sings) Each little step, a pose. See how the breeding shows. (Grunts) Sometimes it's too much for even me!
"How long do we have to listen to Bette Midler singing? Look, I love her in Hocus Pocus and this one. But come on." Brian said.
Georgette: (Continues to sing) You pretty pups all over the city. I have your hearts and you have my pity. Pretty is nice. But still it's just pretty. Perfect, my dears…
(A clip from WWE is shown)
The Rock: Shut up, bitch!
"Thank you! Cut to the next scene!" Sean exclaimed.
Brian: (Narrating) So, Jenny whips up some kind of recipe for Oliver. Lord knows I do not want to know what's in it.
"So, that's where the Valspar was at!" Sean yelled out.
Brian: (Narrating) Georgette enters the kitchen and sees Oliver eating, which she doesn't take very lightly.
Georgette: Hello.
Oliver: (Stops eating) Hello.
Georgette: I hope you won't think me rude, but do you happen to know out of whose bowl you're eating?
"Um, Katy Perry?" Brian asked.
Georgette: And do you have any idea whose home this is?
"Again, Katy Perry?" Sean asked.
Georgette: (Yells) MINE!
Sean and Brian both yell out in fear.
"Okay, okay! We get it!" Sean yelled.
"Everything is yours, just please don't kill us!" Brian yelled out as well.
Jenny: (To Georgette) Oh, Georgette, I see you've met Oliver. Isn't he cute? I've got great news. Mom and Dad just said I could keep him. I'm sure you two are gonna be the best of friends.
(Georgette snickers wildly)
"Yeah, I don't think that this is such a great idea for Oliver to be around Georgette. She's not too friendly around cats." Brian said as a photo of Thackery Binks from Hocus Pocus is shown.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, the dogs are trying to figure out how to get Oliver back all the while, we cut back to Jenny who's playing the piano, with Oliver tagging along.
Brian: (Narrating) And then we get our next song for the movie "Good Company", which is performed by Jenny's singing voice Myhanh Tran.
(The song "Good Company" starts)
Jenny: (Sings) You and me together, will be forever, you'll see. We two can be good company…
"Aww, isn't this too cute?" Sean asked with a smile on his face.
Sean: (Narrating) We then get a nice little montage of Oliver enjoying his new home and his new owner.
Jenny: (Sings) You and me together, will be forever, you'll see. We'll always be good company. You and me, just wait and see. (Speaks) Good night, Oliver.
Audience: Awwww!
(A clip from SpongeBob SquarePants is shown)
Plankton (Voiced by Mr. Lawrence): It's too cute! It's-It's DISGUSTING!
Brian: (Narrating) The next day, while Jenny's off to school, Dodger and the dogs devise a plan to rescue Oliver. And thinking that he's in danger, they pull a prank on Winston, by having him step out of the house and chase Francis down while they enter and locking him out. As they make their way inside, they see how luxurious the house is.
(Georgette screams as she sees Dodger)
Georgette: Who are you? What do you want? Winston!
Dodger: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Calm down.
Georgette: Don't come any closer! I knew this would happen one day.
Dodger: You're barking up the wrong tree. It's not you I'm after.
Georgette: It's not? It's not!
"No, we're actually after the Ark of the Covenant. What do you think, lady?" Brian asked.
Georgette: What's the matter, Spot? Not good enough for you? I mean, do you even know who I am? (Shows Dodger her ribbon and trophy collection) Fifty-six blue ribbons. Fourteen regional trophies. (Shouts in Dodger's face) Six-time national champion!
Dodger: Ooh, and we're all very impressed. Right, guys? Very impressed.
(Rita, Tito, Francis and Einstein arrive. Tito pants)
Georgette: Oh!
Tito: (Kissing) Allow me to introduce myself: I am Ignacio Alonzo Julio Frederico de Tito.
Georgette: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU LITTLE BUG-EYED CREEP! Winston!
"Ah, I can see the naughty fanfics on Fanfiction right now." Sean said.
"Good God. Please, I do not want to know." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Georgette gives Oliver to the dogs and they head out. Back on Fagin's houseboat, the gang is happy to see Oliver again, but Oliver is sad because he was happy living with Jenny. Dodger however, is upset.
Einstein: (Kindly) We rescued you, kitty. We, we brought you home.
Oliver: (Sadly) But... Well, I, I have another home now. And someone who loves me.
Dodger: What do you mean, kid? You're in the gang.
Oliver: But, but…
Dodger: The gang means family. We risked a lot to get you outta there.
"We're like the Sopranos. Once you're in this family, you're never gettin' out." Brian said, imitating Dodger.
Oliver: Look, I'm sorry, but all I ever wanted was…
Dodger: (Upset) What? This place not good enough for you anymore? Don't wanna mix with the riffraff?
Oliver: Dodger, please.
Dodger: (His lines replaced with lyrics from the Billy Joel song "Movin' Out" while the song plays): You oughta know by now. Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money? And it seems such a waste of time, if that's what it's all about. Mama, if that's movin' up then I'm movin' out. Mmm, I'm movin' out, mmm oh-hoo, uh-huh, mmmm.
Brian: (Narrating) Fagin returns with no luck with the money. But when he sees Oliver's name tag and sees where he's been, which gives him the opportunity for the big money.
Sean: (Narrating) So, he holds Oliver ransom so he can get the money from Jenny's family in order to pay off Sykes.
"What?!" Sean and Brian both said at the same time.
(A clip from John McEnroe's Wimbeldon meltdown from 1981 is shown)
John McEnroe: You can't be serious, man! You cannot be serious!
"Yeah, you're having a fucking laugh right about now! Holding a cat for ransom. It sounds like something off of World's Dumbest Criminals!" Sean exclaimed.
"Now that you mentioned it, this guy kidnapped his grandmother's cat and held it for ransom. Yeah, that was from World's Dumbest Criminals." Brian said.
"No wonder it sounded so familiar. The guy's plan was inspired by this movie. Great job, Disney! Your movie inspired people to hold cats ransom." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Fagin then heads down to visit Sykes and convinces to him that his plan will work, which Sykes doesn't believe him. So, he has his dogs attack him. But Dodger steps in to save his owner but ends up getting attacked by Roscoe and Desoto.
Fagin: Stop! Please, Sykes, please! Sykes, I'm getting your money tonight! It's coming tonight! Please. It's from a rich cat... I mean, a cat from a rich family's paying... Ow! They're coming with the money I owe you, uh, to get the cat back!
(Sykes snaps his fingers as his dogs stop attacking Dodger)
Sykes: I'm proud of ya, Fagin. (Looks at Oliver's name tag) Yeah, you're startin' to think big./And Fagin? This is your last chance.
(The scene fades. We see the words "Down At the Docks, 8:32 PM" while the beeping sound effect from 24 plays before we cut to Jenny and Georgette at the docks)
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Jenny and Georgette arrive at the docks with a poorly drawn map. I'm sorry, but shouldn't the butler be there with them? You have a little girl alone on the docks with her dog while the freaks are out at night. What was so important for him not to be there with them?
Brian: (V/O as Winston) I know I should be with Jenny right now, but Fawlty Towers is on and they're showing the Waldorf Salad episode, my favorite.
"Where's Gordon Ramsay when you need him?" Brian asked.
"That guy is an idiot sandwich!" Sean yelled out, imitating Gordon Ramsay.
Brian: (Narrating) Jenny bumps into Fagin and the other dogs and he sees that she's just a little kid with a piggy bank, but that's not gonna cut it.
Fagin: That's awful.
Jenny: I know. And what kind of a person would steal a poor little kitty?
"A dumbass who wants money. That's who." Sean said as a picture of Fagin pops up in between him and Brian.
Jenny: I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Fagin: Neither do I.
(Fagin turns and sees Jenny sobbing. He picks up Oliver from out of his pocket and holds him in his hands. Oliver stares at him with his adorable beady eyes)
"Aww, look at him. He's so adorable. You know, he's only a kitten before he grows up into a big cat. So, let's take the opportunity at this little adorable furball." Brian said.
(We cut back to Oliver staring)
Audience: AWWWWW!
Sean: (Narrating) Fagin has a change of heart and returns Oliver to Jenny. But then things go south as Sykes, who was watching the whole thing, appears and kidnaps Jenny. And so it goes from rescuing Oliver to rescuing Jenny as Oliver and Company…
"Boom! Title drop." Brian said.
"Thank you." Sean said, high-fiving Brian.
Sean: (Narrating) ...head down to Sykes' warehouse to rescue Jenny. Meanwhile, Sykes plans to hold Jenny for ransom so he can get the money from her wealthy parents.
Brian: (Narrating) Francis launches Oliver inside the warehouse to save Jenny, but Sykes sends out Cujo and Zowie to search the place. Oliver lets the dogs and Georgette in, while Tito flirts with her. Don't get any ideas, fanfic writers. And the gang come up with a brilliant plan.
Desoto: (Sniffs) You smell that?
Roscoe: (Sniffs) Yeah. Heh-heh! It's party time.
(A clip from Titanic: The Legend Goes On is shown)
Fritz the Rapping Dog: Party time! It's party time! Everybody's feelin' fine 'cuz it's party time. Party time!
"No, no, no, no!" Brian yelled out.
"Turn that shit off! I will not resort to that abomination of a song to be played on this review. And do you know why? I'll tell you why. Because I'm the MOTHERFUCKING MAYHEM CRITIC, BITCH!" Sean yelled out as he pulls out a Micro Uzi and points it to the camera.
Fritz the Rapping Dog: It's party time!
(Cut to black as a gunshot is heard)
(A knock is heard)
Sykes: What the?
(He sees a silhouette of a pizza guy standing outside his office. We then see that it's Tito, Francis and Einstein disguised as a pizza delivery man before we cut to Sykes inserting a clip into his gun)
Sykes: Didn't order any pizza.
"You harm those dogs, Feech, you're dead." Brian said, referencing Robert Loggia's character from The Sopranos.
Sean: (Narrating) Oliver and the gang manage to distract Sykes and rescue Jenny until they end up getting cornered by Sykes and his dogs.
Brian: (Narrating) Just as they're about to become Purina Dog Chow, Fagin swoops in to save them as they make their escape.
"And what we have here is one of the best and funniest insults in a Disney movie. So please, let Cheech Marin entertain you. Begin." Sean said.
Tito: (To Sykes' Dobermans) Heh-heh! Hey, man, you're ugly! And you're uglier than him! And you're Ugly, Part 3! (Laughs) Hey, you're Revenge of the Ugly!
"Okay, I have to admit that this is one of the funniest lines in the movie." Brian said, laughing a bit.
"Okay, if they do a live action remake of the movie, then I want that line to be in it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Sykes pursues them in his Cadillac and to be honest with you, this is where shit gets intense. I mean for a Disney movie for kids, this whole scene is intense. You have Fagin and his dogs riding shotgun on his moped down the city streets until he drives into the subway. So, what does Sykes do? He drives the whole fucking car into the station!
"But there's something about this scene that just rubs me the wrong way. First off, there's not a chance that you're getting a moped into an empty subway station at any time of night. And for the second one, we'll get to that part. Let's just watch the scene." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Sykes chases them down the subway track as Jenny is flung onto his car as Oliver jumps on and bites Sykes' hand, but is flung into the backseat about to get mauled by Roscoe and Desoto.
(Roscoe and Desoto growl at Oliver. Dodger jumps onto Sykes' Cadillac and gets inside, fighting Roscoe and Desoto. Dodger and Roscoe crash through the rear window as Roscoe holds on to the car while grabbing Dodger's ascot with his teeth. The ascot rips, sending Roscoe down to the subway track, electrocuting him to death)
"Jesus Christ!" Sean yelled out in shock.
"Holy shit!" Brian exclaimed.
(While Desoto is trying to kill Dodger, Oliver jumps onto the Doberman, clawing him in his face. Desoto yelps and falls off of the car, suffering the same death as Roscoe)
"Boy, the MPAA is going to have a field day with this one. Hell, Disney+ should add "Dogs Getting Killed" on their disclaimer at the start of the movie. It's a good thing that movie didn't get a PG rating like The Black Cauldron." Sean said.
"Hey, this just goes to show that Disney movies back then had balls." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Hey, during the chase scene, you could hear a bit of the opening song playing right when Oliver bites Sykes in the hand.
(The scene plays while the music is heard)
"Yeah, I've noticed that." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And the chase leads outside the Brooklyn Bridge…
"There are no subway tracks on the Brooklyn Bridge. Come on, guys!" Brian exclaimed.
"It's a Disney film, let it go." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And on top of all of that insanity, a train is heading right towards them!
Jenny: (To Sykes) Let go!
(Dodger and Oliver attack Sykes, causing him to let go of Jenny)
Fagin: Jenny, jump!
(Jenny jumps for Fagin's scooter. Fagin catches her)
Georgette: (Screams) ALONZOOOOOOOOO!
(A clip from Airplane! is shown)
McCroskey (Played by Lloyd Bridges): It's coming right at us!
(He jumps out of the window and screams)
(Georgette screams as Tito moves the scooter out of the way just in time by steering the scooter onto the bridge's cables. Sykes throws Dodger and Oliver off of him. He turns around and sees the train coming right towards him. His eyes widened and he screams as the train crashes right towards him, killing him. We see the words "Fatality" appearing on the screen)
Shao Kahn (Voiced by Steve Ritchie): Fatality.
"Well, if I go to New York, count me out on riding the subway." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) So after Sykes catches his train, Fagin, Jenny and the dogs are unharmed. (Gasps) But what about Oliver?
(Dodger carries Oliver as Jenny runs over to him. Dodger hands Oliver to Jenny. We see that Oliver is not moving)
"Oh, great. Now Oliver is joining the ranks of saddest Disney character deaths along with Bambi's mom and Mufasa." Sean said.
"Wait." Brian said.
(Jenny rubs Oliver against her face. Oliver opens his eyes and releases a soft meow)
Jenny: (Sees that Oliver is alive) Oliver? Oliver!
"IT'S A MIRACLE!" Sean yelled out with his arms raised up in the air.
"Let's wrap up this review before Sean ends up acting like Roger Lodge." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Fagin and the entire group celebrate Jenny's birthday at her home. Jenny gets some good news about her parents, that they're coming home on the day after her birthday and everyone say their goodbyes and have a fresh new start while Oliver enjoys his new home with Jenny.
Dodger: (To Oliver) Listen, kid, ahh, you just want to hang out or anything…
(Tito screams as he runs out of the house wearing captain's uniform)
Tito: Hey, Dodger, man! Do you see her anywhere?
Dodger: Hey, whoa!
Tito: Man! I can't keep this woman off me! Man, I gotta get away from that chick…
Georgette: Alonzo! Alonzo!
Tito: (Gasps) Uh, good-bye, Oliver. (Runs) Hey, you guys, wait for me, man! Hey, wait up!
Georgette: Alonzo Frederico Tito, you come back here this minute!
"And Tito has some girl problems. He just remembered that he has to go meet up with Roger Allers for his role as Banzai the Hyena in The Lion King in about six years." Brian said.
"Dude, you can't leave her. She's nuts. Bitch can track you down." Sean said.
Dodger: Hey, whoa, kid. Do you think you can handle the champ?
Oliver: (Holds his paw out) Sure.
(Dodger high-fives Oliver, but the kitten moves his paw away)
Dodger: Hey! You're okay... for a cat. We'll keep a spot open for ya in the gang... Vice president, uptown chapter. Later, kid.
(The song "Why Should I Worry" starts as Dodger and the gang sings)
"And that was Oliver and Company." Sean said.
"And what do we think of it?" Brian asked.
"Maybe this clip will show you how we feel about the movie." Sean said.
(A clip from Disney's Hercules is shown)
Hades (Voiced by James Woods) Two thumbs way, way up!
(Clips from the movie are shown once more while the end title theme by J.A.C. Redford plays)
Sean: (Narrating) I love the idea of a Dickensian tale in modern time. It was fun, clever and heartwarming.
Brian: (Narrating) You have some memorable character, great animation, brilliant writing and catchy songs. It's one of Disney's finest animated movies.
Sean: (Narrating) The film went up against Don Bluth's The Land Before Time on it's opening week, which The Land Before Time debuted at number one in the box office, grossing abou $7.5 million. Oliver and Company opened at fourth, grossing $4 million. And that movie out-grossed The Land Before Time with a total gross of $53 million.
Brian: (Narrating) Because of this movie's success, Disney's Senior Vice President of Animation Peter Schneider announced the company's plans to release animated features annually.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Oliver and Company is a fun little tale for cat and dog lovers alike. Coming in at 5 hot dog eating dogs out of five.
"Well, guess that's about it." Brian said.
"Sure. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic." Sean said.
"And I'm Brian." Brian said.
"Tune in next time for..." Sean said.
Loud Booming Voice: THE SUMMER OF DISNEY!
"I know. I should've done that earlier. I just wanted to open this episode up with cats." Sean said. "See you guys next time."
Mayhem Critic Tagline- My name is Francis.
And that's all for the Oliver and Company review for The Mayhem Critic. So, what did you think of the review and what did you think of Oliver and Company? I want to hear your thoughts about the movie. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, Sean continues The Summer of Disney, Sean takes a look at the 2005 superhero comedy Sky High. A film that stars Kurt Russell, Kelly Preston, Danielle Panabaker, Lynda Carter and Bruce Campbell. A movie about a high school for superheroes. Is this movie awesome or is it forgettable? Also, this review is a little tribute to Kelly Preston, who sadly passed away this month. After the Sky High review, I will be reviewing either the 2019 live-action version of The Lion King or I'll do a review of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Which one do you want me to review after Sky High. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. See you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.