Blaise Zabini was having a rough day. All he wanted to do was have a few drinks and head home. He had owled both Draco and Theo and was met with piss poor excuses; sleeping and working in the morning should not be as important as a drink with the boys.

Taking another sharp drag of his cigarette, Blaise flicked the cig to the concrete, and smashed it with his expensive shoe. Hearing a loud thud and smack not too far, Blaise narrowed his eyes and rounded the corner.

What the bloody fuck?

The lightning was horrible, but it didn't take bright lights to notice an unconscious woman and hooded figure.

Blaise was about to wirthdraw his wand from inside his pants pocket, but forgot he was in Muggle London. Cursing, he ran and shoved the man back from the unknown woman.

"The fuck do you think you're doing?" Blaise didn't wait for an answer as pulled back his tan fist and broke the stranger's nose.

By this time, a crowd of strangers, bouncers, and managers had made their way outside. As the stranger held his bleeding nose, Blaise explained to one of the bouncers the situation and to call the police as he took the young woman to a hospital.

Cursing again as his knuckles started to throb, he made his way to the unconscious woman against the wall. All he had wanted was a drink and here he was playing hero like he was Potter or some shit.

Frowning, Blaise recognized the familar dark hair and long legs.

"Pansy?" Blaise asked, shaking her unconscious figure. She wasn't moving.

Panicking only slightly once he realized she had a pulse, Blaise scooped his childhood friend up in his arms, ignoring the crowd of Muggles as he walked around the corner to the back of the club and Apparated.

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"Granger!" Blaise yelled frantically, running into the front doors of the emergency room to St Mungos. It was late and it was a long shot, but he had recalled Draco grumbling how they had Hermione working a few overnights a week.

Pansy was still limp and unconscious in his arms and he was beginning to worry. What did they give to her?

By the grace of all fates, Hermione Granger rounded the corner with a clipboard in one hand and a coffee in the other.

"Granger!" Blaise exclaimed, his arms tiring from Pansy's dead weight and the curly hair witched looked up surprised.

"Zabini?" She asked worried, noticing her childhood bully in his arms. "What happened?"

As Blaise was explaining the situation, Granger had summoned a gurney and placed Pansy on top with her wand.

Before he could even blink, Granger had two Healers by her side and they were off down the hall.

'Fuck.' Blaise thought, finding a chair in the waiting room to sit in as he ran a hand through his dark hair. 'I have to go tell Draco.'

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"Granger, I don't care what your boss said. I want to see her. Now move."

"Malfoy just because you're my significant other doesn't mean I won't have your arse removed. She needs to rest."

"Date rape drug? What kind of fucked shit do Muggles dabble in?"

"This is ridiculous. While you all argue like children, I'm going down to the Muggle police station to make sure this prat is arrested."

"Harry! Wait - "

Woken up by the noise, Pansy slowly opened her eyes, feeling like she had been hit by a Muggle car.

She blinked painfully, trying to clear the black spots from her eyes. The too bright lights were irritating and the smell of a sterile hospital was almost nauseating.

Where was she? What happened? She couldn't remember a damn thing.

The sound of the door opening interrupted Pansy from her thoughts as Draco, Blaise, and Hermione barreled into her room.

Hermione looked up surprised. "Good! You're awake sooner than expected." She didn't wait for an answer as she went by Pansy's bedside to adjust her IV and take her vitals.

"Pansy," Blaise said, exhausted and relieved.

It was around five am in the morning now and he stayed the entire time to make sure she was okay. It didn't help she had been avoiding him and Draco for weeks. He was worried. Hell, he had been worried about her and this had topped it off.

Draco stay silent, brooding in the corner with his arms crossed stiffly. He was bloody pissed and if the Muggle police weren't already involved, he would've hex that sorry piece of scum into his past life.

"What h-happened?" Pansy asked, her voice cracking as she slowly propped herself up on her elbows.

Hermione sighed sadly, grabbing Pansy's clipboard as she said, "In the most simple terms, a Muggle slipped a date rape drug into your drink."

Hermione let the realization sink into Pansy's shell-shocked face before she continued.

"You'll probably remember some moments before the drug had taken affect, but nothing afterwards. Pansy," Hermione placed a comforting hand on her arm, who shook it off admittedly. Hermione ignored her.

"Thankfully, Blaise was there when it happened. If he hadn't been there, I don't want to think about what could have happened, but let's not dwell on that right now, okay? I'm going to finish taking your vitals, get you on some more saline, and we're going to keep you overnight."

Pansy didn't answer Granger, she merely stared straight ahead. A date rape drug? Someone almost raped her? Someone had drugged her? Someone could have killed her?

(Don't you want

to die though?)

The panic crept up slowly, sinking it's teeth into Pansy's core and she tried to mask her horrified expression. She wasn't weak and she refused to be perceive as such.

Blaise sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he asked. "Are you alright, Pansy?"

The dark haired witch sneered, ignoring Hermione as she checked her heart rate and blood pressure, and meet his hazel eyes.

"Of course I'm alright and I'd be bloody fucking thankful if you lot would just leave."

Blaise rolled his eyes. He had known Pansy for years and this was how she was. This was her coping method with everything. If anything, she was showing him just how much she wasn't okay. He knew better than to push her though.

Draco, however, didn't give a shit.

"The bloody fuck? You're not alright. What the fuck where you doing in Muggle London by yourself anyway? We've been trying to contact you for weeks and the first news I hear is you're drugged in St Mungo's!"

Hermione, used to Draco's temper and emotions, scowled, motioning for Blaise to take him out of the room.

"Draco, the last thing Pansy needs is all this excitement. She needs to rest. You can yell all you want when she's home and better. Right now, you're distracting me from doing my job and I need you to leave," Hermione said sternly, no room for argument in her voice. He was lucky she had even allowed them in the room.

Draco sneered, "Whatever, Granger." Casting one last worried glare towards Pansy, he stormed out of the door with a tired Blaise on his heels.

Pansy, who has been frowning and looking down at her hands the entire time, looked up and sighed thankfully. It was quiet and all the questions were gone for now.

Or so she thought.

"Pansy," Hermione said seriously, picking up the clipboard again from off the counter. "Now that everyone is gone... I need to discuss the drugs we found in your system."

Pansy expression didn't change and Hermione continued.

"Along with the Muggle date rape drug, we found high amounts of anxiety medication and cocaine." Hermione set the clipboard back down, frowning as she observed Pansy in front of her.

"Listen, Pansy, I'm not going to say anything to anyone - doctor patient confidentiality, but I'm urging you to see someone and get help."

Pansy's icy expression never faltered.

"In the most blunt way, I'm recommending rehab and therapy for you."

At that, Pansy sneered, almost jerking her IV out of her arm. "That is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard you say, Granger. Brightest witch of our age - bullshit. One night of fun doesn't mean I'm a bloody drug addict."

Hermione chose not to mention that the drug levels in her system indicated more than a one night use.

"I gave you something to help you sleep in your IV. I have to do a few more rounds and I'll be back to check on you, okay?"

Hermione didn't wait for a response as she headed out the room, her footsteps echoing across the floor as she closed the door with a soft click. She couldn't help someone who didn't even want to help themselves.

Pansy didn't even blink.

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Three days later, Pansy had locked herself up in her hotel room. The shock of her incident had finally worn off and she was left scared and frightened - afraid to go out by herself and it made her feel so weak and useless. She tried not to think how powerless she felt.

She had temporarily blocked all owls from entering into her room, she was in no mood to deal with pestering questions and statements of concern.

All she wanted to do was stay in bed, curled up in a ball with the blankets around her head. She felt warm and safe - away from everything and everyone.

She felt so lost and overwhelmed. In just a week, she had quit her job, been drugged, and her long lost mother killed herself.

She wanted to cry but no tears would come.

She was pushing everyone she loved away and she couldn't even find it in herself to care. Hell, she probably deserved the pain.

Pansy clenched the blanket around her body tighter. She was so fucked up in the head she couldn't decide what she was the most upset about.

Her mother and that stupid fucking letter had resurfaced emotions Pansy buried a long time ago. Pansy had shoved her feelings for her parents down the day her father died in the Second Wizarding War.

Relief is what she felt that day and she refused to feel anything more for her father or mother.

Until a week ago.

And then, she was drugged by a fucking Muggle.

Pansy closed her eyes tight; different thoughts and feelings and emotions all swirling at once.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Pansy flung the blankets off her roughly, her sock covered feet hitting the floor with a loud thud as she made her way over to the kitchen counter.

Right where she and Daphne had left it the night before - her cocaine.

The day after she was released from St Mungos, Pansy was so frustrated and exhausted, she wanted nothing more than to not feel. She called Daphne and explained everything - the blonde hair woman had been in her hotel room when Pansy arrived. She came with a party sack and a personal sack Pansy had requested.

Cutting out two white lines, Pansy quickly snorted them, enjoying the instant drain as she eyed the letter her mother left her.

The bloody fucking thing was taunting her.

With impulse only drugs could give her, she darted over to the parchment and opened it with trembling hands.

Pansy,

If you're reading this, it means I'm gone from this world.

I know you must have so many questions and thoughts and I'm afraid I might not have all the answers for you.

I know you're angry and upset and you have every right to be because I feel those emotions too.

I never should have been a mother, especially with your father. Pansy, he had always been dark, but I didn't know the extent of the darkness and I got scared and left.

I regret every day leaving you with that bastard.

I can only hope one day you will forgive me.

- Margaret

Pansy screamed.

Loud, angry, heartbroken scream that rattled her very core.

Why did she have to open that damn letter? Why?!

Pansy should have known better. She should have known her mother would never understand, would never love her, even in her death she would never utter the words Pansy needed to hear. Her mother made everything about herself, even in her afterlife.

Did she not know the extent of the damage her father did to Pansy? Did she not understand the pain herself had caused Pansy by leaving and never seeing her again? Did she really not comprehend the heartache she caused Pansy throughout all these years?

And then to leave a piss poor suicide note as if it would make everything all better.

Pansy screamed until her throat was raw and her lungs were on fire, her fists clenched tightly at her sides as her nails dug into her palms. She started to bawl; hot angry tears poured out of her icy blue eyes as all the events and emotions from the past week caught up to her. Her shoulders shook as she crumbled to the ground, the letter clenched in her fist, her knees buckling underneath her as her heart pounded in her chest from the cocaine. She cried harder than she ever had in her life.

Pansy was beginning to realize not every story ended with a happy ending.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: Someone mentioned what happened to Pansy's past... it will be explained throughout various chapters.

I hope you guys are liking it so far. I'm trying so hard to get inside Pansy's head because addiction and depression are two very real things and I hope I'm doing the emotions justice.

Also, check out my other stories! I have a new one-shot, Seasons, it's a Ron/Daphne and I'm pretty proud of it.

Anyway, please review!

xoxo