Ill Repute
Chapter 01 – Sirius's Last Prank

Harry looked around the room warily. Less than a week after he had been dropped at the Dursley's and he was back in HQ. In a room he had never seen before in the depths of the building. Around him were some people he knew and some he did not. Some he would rather not know as well. The Malfoy family being one of them. He wasn't entirely sure what they were doing here. Or how they came to be there. But since they had arrived via some sort of special port key he had to imagine they didn't know where they were. There had been quite the flurry of port key arrivals earlier. Some of his professor from school where there. Some seemed to be confused as to why. The Headmaster was sat off to the side, looking at him warily. Which made a lot of sense since Harry had not long ago blown up the mans office. Draco Malfoy was shooting him foul glances every five minutes and Lucius looked like he would rather be anywhere but there. Narcissa Malfoy was cool and calm, but Harry noticed she looked... sad. There was a portly man sat off to the side that seemed to be a virtual powerhouse and had greeted Dumbledore as an equal on his arrival. Harry had caught his name Croaker. The name rang a bell to Harry something about the Ministry, and something about Unspeakables. He was one of the few that wasn't surprised to be there. Tonks was sat with Remus Lupin. Hermione was sat with the Weasley family. Nearly all of whom were in attendance.

Harry's eyes cast around again. He didn't want to be back here. Not so soon after Sirius's death. It was still fresh and raw and burned inside of him. The scene plagued him. Watching his God father falling into the Veil, the accidental death of a good man. Well, mostly Accidental. TO this day he was still quite sure Bellatrix had not meant to kill him. Though why that was he had no idea. Just before she had began to laugh, she had looked oddly stunned. He was still going to kill her for that. He really wished his Crucio had been more effective than just blasting away her shield and making her yell a bit. He hadn't told anyone about using that spell, not yet. Had spent a long time firing spells through his wand, once he was able. Washing out the evidence of his use of an Unforgivable. Contrary to popular belief, Harry was no idiot.

The question was, why where they all there? The answer was simple on one hand and complex on the other. This was to be the reading of Sirius Onion Black's Last Will and Testament. Which was just another reason he didn't want to be here. He was being forced to face the fact that his godfather was gone. Which was not something he really wanted to do just yet. If ever in fact.

Daedalus Diggle was standing at one end of the strange room, a desk behind him with a purple valise on top of it. His likewise purple bowler hat beside it. He was, to Harry, just one indication of how color blind Wizards appeared to be. Harry was sat not far away from him. Silently fuming and grieving. Fuming because since he had arrived not a single person had talked to him. Not since Tonks had picked him up and dropped him here. That pissed Harry off more than a little to say the least.

Though, there was one thing that really got him. Something he just did not understand. Most people here were connected to Sirius in some way. That was obvious, even those he didn't know. Like that tall wizard in back with the hard eyes. It was the slender woman near to that wizard that freaked Harry out. What the hell was Trewlawny doing here? Snape he could understand. No doubt his godfather had something fun lined up for him. But her? It made no bloody sense.

Daedalus cleared his throat. Glancing at a large ornate pocket watch as he did so. "If I may have your attention" he said. "I will begin this highly unusual reading."

The room shuffled and became silent. In the hour it had taken for everyone to arrive there had been a general hum of conversation in the room. "This is the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Sirius Onion Black. I have a long list of instructions to go through, so please... I beg your patience."

Lucius Malfoy made a muttered nasty comment, that had half the people in the room wanting to hex him. Frankly Harry didn't give a shit, he just wanted to get this over and done with.

"Before I begin reading items of the will. Baron Black instructed that a few messages be passed out, one to each person here. This is why were are in this specially prepared room. Through some rather impressive spellmanship the Baron has arranged it so that he can give you your messages in a more personal fashion."

The room rumbled a bit at that news. Harry was frozen in horror. How was he supposed to take seeing Sirius again so soon?

"To start the process I must ask Harry Potter to join me." the lawyer said. Looking at Harry with a not unkind smile.

Harry rose shakily, walking stiffly to the Wizard Lawyer. "Please read this" Daedalus told him, passing him a blank piece of parchment. "I am told you will know the phrase"

A slight smile flittered on Harry's lips for a moment. He took a breath and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good"

The twins chuckled, then looked surprised. How would Sirius know that phrase? Was what was doubtlessly going through their minds. The parchment swam with words and Harry took another breath.

"Welcome" he read, "To the Will Reading of Sirius Onion Black. I have asked Harry to read this to you in order to trigger the spell, and more importantly..." Harry trailed off chuckling. He cleared his throat. "I am reading straight from the parchment" he warned and waved it, "That interfering old buzzard Dumbledore doesn't try to stop My Godson from attending." The room ruffled in shock, and Albus Dumbledore himself stiffened for a moment, and then chuckled. "Shortly this specially prepared room, and I thank the Headmaster for his help, will be triggered into action. I must ask that no one tries to leave, and to that end the door will now Lock"

The door swung shut with a slam and several bolts where heard to slide into place. Then a blue shield hummed to life in front of it.

Harry smirked slightly at the faces of either amusement, shock or outrage that looked up at him. "When Harry says the next sentence I will deliver my message to you all at the same time." Harry paused. His eyes widened slightly, then he licked his lips. "I Harry James Potter, do swear my oath that I will..."

Dumbledore jumped to his feet, "Don't finish that sentence!" he warned. Mad Eye Moody began to pull his wand.

Harry looked at him steadily, "...honour Sirius Onion Black's wishes." There was a flash of magic, emanating from Harry's back pocket.

"Oh Harry" Dumbledore had just enough time to say before the room changed. To Harry it was as if everyone faded away. Leaving him in a softly glowing room all alone. This was not an unusual thing for Harry. The being alone. The glow was new at least. Two Chairs shifted to the centre of the room while all the others that had been present flashed out of existence. Harry had to assume this was happening to everyone else as well. Though why Sirius had to be so dramatic he wasn't sure. Other than the fact he had felt like it. Which was a perfectly valid excuse for a Marauder.

"Hello Harry" Sirius said appearing in a ghost like form, already sat in one of the chairs. "Take a load off" he said waving at the spare chair.

Harry's eyes filled with tears.

"Cut that out" Sirius said, "Or you'll start me off. The spell is timed and we don't have time for tears Pup. Come on, join me. Indulge me" he said smiling.

Harry nodded, taking a breath against his tears. Refusing to let them fall. He had cried far too many tears so far that Summer. He sat down and looked at his godfather with a sad expression.

"No one in this room knows what I'm up to." Sirius said with a smile. "They think I've set this up to talk to them, or shout at them in person. As it were. But before I tell you the real reason for this show. I want to give you a little history you won't know about."

Harry looked curiously at his Godfather.

"When I left school. Or when We left school. Your father and I both went to Auror academy. He was very good, very good. One hell of a law enforcement officer. I... lacked a moral attitude that really fitted in with the Auror Corps." Sirius said with a smirk. "It did however fit in with another area of the Ministry. Did you see that portly wizard. Virtually hums with power?"

Harry nodded.

Sirius smiled, "That's Croaker. He may have a first name I have no idea. I just called him boss. He is the head of the Unspeakables. They're a bit like a secret police force. They are also the ones that control Hit Wizards. Did you happen to see a tall wizard, blonde hair and eyes like stone?"

Harry nodded again.

"Good he came" Sirius said with a smirk, "He's a Hit Wizard. The best in the business, one guy you do not want to tangle with. He's powerful and deadly. Everything a good Hit Wizard should be. They're the strong arm of the Unspeakables. There is also research and design departments. I wasn't a Hit Wizard. I worked with the R and D mostly. Though I did some missions."

Harry's eyes shot wide.

Sirius laughed, "That's right up until I was arrested I was an Unspeakable. You see they were interested in my pranking experience mostly. I designed most of the Pranks. Till your mum came along. Well, let's just say I have a bit of a flair for creating spells. The one that you triggered is one of mine. Especially made for the occasion. I also created another spell, one I wish I hadn't." Sirius smiled sadly. "It shows you how you will die. I'm the only one that I know of that has ever used it. Being the designer I pretty much had to. So right now I will say. I know how I died. I prepared for it for a long time. Dumbledore's incarceration of me actually helped in the end, though I chaffed at the bit. You see Prison was not... kind to me Harry. Before I went there I was not as reckless, not so unbalanced. I know I've given you a hard time and I'm sorry for that. Confusing you with your father on occasion and trying to make you into a carbon copy. That was because my mind was pretty much broken Harry. As you can see, I'm alright now." he smirked. "For the most part. When I finally finished this spell it took a bit of me, and most of my power and embedded it into this room for the conversations I'm currently having. Anyway, I'm getting off of the point."

"What is the point?" Harry asked.

"I've done all this for you. This room is a powerful spell and has some of the best wards and scheme's in it I've ever created. When this spell completes, all the dark magic will be sucked out of the house and all but two of the wards will have been used up on the building. I left the Fidelius and Unplottable ones alone for obvious reasons. You see, everyone is being told they are powering the spell" Sirius said with a smirk. "They aren't. They're going to be a bit tired after this and they will think that was because of the drain... Which is was."

"You're making no sense Padfoot."

Sirius laughed. "I have often been angry at Dumbledore for giving you no training. He has time and time again told me you need to have a childhood. I agree in theory. Only Voldemort isn't going to wait for you to grow up, leave school and get your training. He'll strike while you're weakest. He's not a bloody idiot. So, I am rectifying Dumbledore's mistake and in the process I'm pulling of my last prank."

"What do you mean."

"I have arranged for the most powerful, skilled, or talented people I could lay my hands on to be in this room. Right now Harry there is a werewolf, a metamorph and 5 Animagi and that's not including the other skills in the room." Sirius smirked.

Harry frowned, wondering who the hell he was talking about, oh god he hoped it wasn't Trewlawny.

"I'm laying into Snape and Dumbledore something fierce right now. But it is all a distraction. This is where I'm a little disappointed really. They're all being pranked and no one but you will know. Which is a shame."

"I don't get what you mean Sirius."

"A little power, a lot of knowledge and skill. Some abilities are being either copied or drained off as we speak. When I end this conversation you're going to have a killer headache. But when you wake up tomorrow you will know everything you need to know to take out Voldemort, and you will have more than enough power to carry it out too."

Harry made like a fish.

"It's terribly dark magic actually." Sirius said with a proud smile, "But then they can't send me back to Azkaban now can they? Oh and it's unlikely they'll twig any time soon. It's an empowerment ritual and a skill theft in one tidy little package. They'll be paid well and I'm actually copying the talents not stealing them. Which is why you won't be an Werewolf or a Metamophamagus. But you will get some of that power, and you'll know how they do it. Croaker in particular is a bloody escapist. I've never heard of a prison or cell that has a chance of keeping him locked up. You're going to know how he does that. Snape, amazing at potions. I figure that is useful. Dumbledore, god there's so much he knows it's mad. Jeremy Connor's. That's the hit wizard, he knows more about fighting than even Croaker. His ability to react like a bloody fly is going in your head as I speak."

"This is so very, very wrong." Harry said in shock.

"I know, great isn't it." Sirius said with a wide smile. "There's lot's more to tell you. For instance I got so many Animagus here, not because I think you will get their forms. But you will know HOW to get your own and have more than a little skill when you do. I only wish I could've gotten me there to help" he said grinning. "The real abilities may take some time you see. Everything has to integrate. There are some that I just can't get to you. The werewolf thing or the Metamorph. Or.." Sirius smirked, "There is someone in the room with a talent so rare they are probably the only one in Europe with it. It's largely wasted; I understand, but the fact is as much as I think you'd enjoy it. I can't give you that. In fact I've had to put that person into the spell specifically to skip. Because if the spell tried to copy it, well things could get hairy. But that's besides the point."

"It is?" Harry said, more than a little horrified at what his Godfather had done, and slightly amused too.

"Yes, I want you to have some fun with all this. Which brings me to my next point Pup. I know you will be rich when you get the Potter money. But that, thanks to Dumbledore is a long way off. You see he has manipulated your life since he found out some prophesy. I'm sick of that. Daedalus has some papers for you to sign. Papers that will free you from his control. You will be an adult by law, able to perform magic and you will become my adopted son."

"Oh Padfoot." Harry said sadly, "I wish you had done that when you were alive."

"I'm no father figure pup. Or was no father figure. Especially after prison. I'm not fit to be a father which is why the second set of papers will Emancipate you. But, me adopting you, and this made me laugh when I found out. Will make you not only Potter-Black, but Baron Potter-Black. Head of the Black family. Apparently my mother didn't disown me properly. I hope you will ensure the Most Noble and Ancient house of Black falls to Ill Repute" Sirius said with a slightly wicked smile. "But, right now I'm telling Cissy to divorce that husband of hers. I have the papers set up for her and that will make her back into a Black. It'll be your job to provide for her, look after her and make sure that blond bastard doesn't hurt her any more."

Harry blinked at that, "OK, I don't really know Mrs Malfoy, as far as I'm aware she's done nothing to me. It was her son and husband."

"Yeah, first item you won't like. But it may not be a problem. She's going to want to bring Draco with her. If he formally renounces he father he will become your ward. There is a temptation there to get back at him. You will have power over him, don't. Not even I at my worst would use my position to hurt my family. Mess with them certainly, hurt no. It's a solemn, and ancient responsibility and I expect you to treat it with respect."

Harry nodded, "I don't like Draco, but if he doesn't want to follow in his dad's footsteps... Well I suppose I can, and should help with that. I doubt we'll ever be friends though."

"You don't have to be... There are other items you aren't going to like, but I'm a little heartened by the maturity you just showed. More than I would've I think"

Harry frowned slightly. "Erh..."

"You see, this spell, the inheritance and everything else that Daedalus will fill you in on. It's my last gift and in part payment. Because this is where I get to my last wishes. Since the spell is working you gave your oath to honour them. You now have no choice but to do so."

'On no, that's not ominous at all!' Harry thought to himself.

-#-

Everyone's eyes opened in fairly quick succession. Some looked amused, other's looked angry. In some cases who was showing what was surprising. Ron in particular looked ready to spit nails. Hermione looked confused, Ginny was openly crying. Some were not surprising, Malfoy Snr looked about ready to risk a splinching just to get out of there.

Daedalus looked up as they all came too. Leaving only Harry in a trance. "I've been instructed to continue without Mr Potter. Apparently that discussion will take quite some time." he said adjusting his papers.

He then read out who was getting what, in it's most simplistic terms. There were some surprises there too. But the one thing no one was surprised about was that Harry got everything that was left.

"This is an Outrage" Lucius said getting to his feet, his anger showing as a red face and an angry tone. "My Son is the direct line descendant for the House of Black. He should be getting the lions share of the inheritance. Let alone the titles! I do not understand how a convicted criminal holds sway over the house, or indeed has any rights here!"

"That's just it Mr Malfoy. Sirius Black was never convicted of any crime. No court of law was involved with his incarceration. He was in full right to do as he wished with the Black Holdings and titles." Daedalus told the angry Malfoy.

"He certainly has no right to try to get my wife to divorce me!" Lucius spat, conceding that the Ministry had been very stupid there. He had no way to contest the will now. Not that he wouldn't try anyway.

Mrs Malfoy smiled thinly. "I Accept" she said. Her Husband and son turned to her, and a small chuckle was heard from the back of the room. Just before they both let loose with both canons. The magic of the room protected her from being cursed, thankfully. "Nearly my entire life I have put up with much. I have lost my son to an arrogant and cruel father. My baby now follows the same dark path as his father and has become a man you should be proud of I suppose Lucius. Not that you are. Draco, if you renounce your father now. The Black family will protect you. They have to..." she looked at her son hopefully.

He snarled at her in return. Looking at her with hate in his eyes.

Narcissa shook her head sadly. "I've put up with abuse in many forms. I have watched my son turn into a man I dislike. My husband become a monster who hides behind the tails of a once great man. My sister has become unhinged."

A gasp was missed by the spectators. "I have lost a cousin I loved to her because of you and your master Lucius." She looked around. Her eyes glacial. "I am risking everything, betting it all on him" she said with a nod towards Harry. "Because I have so little left to loose, other than my self respect. Which I have been denying myself for too long. So yes I accept and with finally some pride in myself for doing so." she said and with that walked as far away from her murderously glaring husband and son as she could. Not far from Harry in point of fact. That was probably because she really had bet on him. Bet he wouldn't let his new position down. God she hoped she was right to do so, otherwise she would be dead very soon.

Harry was still in a trance, but she was hoping it wouldn't last.

The room shifted a bit, the emotional outburst had made many of them wonder in their own ways. Harry's friends in particular wondered what the hell Harry was talking about for so long. Or how he would react to his new ... responsibilities and holdings.

Ron had been somewhat mollified by his own inheritance. 5000 Galleons was quite a bit of money, not that it sealed the rift with Sirius's memory for the thing he had said. No matter how correct they may have been. He was looking between Harry and Hermione wondering what Sirius had meant. He had told him not to get in the way of their friendship. Why would he say that to Ron, he had been a friend to Harry hadn't he?

Other's in the room had not gotten very much at all. Other than the message given to them. Snape was looking a little shocked. He had been given a very rare potions book. Something that was an original edition and passed down in the Black family for many years. The message he had received was in fact more of an apology and a warning than a message.

Dumbledore was a little grey, since he had just been balled out essentially. He had no inheritance, only instructions. He was actually more worried about the oath Harry had made and the ramifications of this Baron Black item. Yes, he was sure Harry would honour that, and look after Narcissa, which would be potentially useful. She was no Death Eater, but her husband was and one of the inner circle at that. That was good, but what did it mean for the protections on Harry's home. Would they stand? If not Harry would be in danger almost immediately.

Harry let out a gasp and stood up. His eyes virtually glowing with repressed anger. "Papers" he snapped at the Lawyer.

Daedalus nodded and handed the items over and a quill to sign with. Dumbledore was more than a little worried at what he was going to sign. "Do you think it wise to.."

"Shut up" Harry snapped, making the entire room gasp, let alone Dumbledore.

"Harry don't talk to the ..." Molly started, only to trail off when Harry whirled on her.

"Mrs Weasley, I love you, but Shut Up" he said and turned back to signing his papers.

Molly sat back down. Looking half pleased at his declaration and shocked at being told to shut up.

"Mother Fucker" Harry muttered loud enough to be heard.

Another shocked gasp, though Draco was smirking.

"I can't believe he's done this to me" Harry said, anger pouring off of him even as he signed, "Rat son of a bitch bastard" he continued, his volume rising as he signed. Eyes intent and angry.

"Harry?" Dumbledore began.

Harry span on him, "Shut The Fuck Up" he growled, turning back and signing more papers.

"I won't be spoken to that way Harry. I know you are angry with me."

Harry span again, eyes spitting fire, "Angry at YOU?" he demanded to know.

Dumbledore blinked, "I thought..."

"That would be a pleasant change. In this case, you are wrong. I'm not angry at you." Harry said his voice shaking with restrained fury. "I told you to shut up, because right now... It's not a good idea to piss me off." he said, the table under his hand beginning to smoke slightly.

Dumbledore's eyes looked to Harry's hand, watching the varnish peel around it. "I see. I think... I will be quiet" he said a slight smile on his face.

"What's the matter Potter. Did god daddy tell you off?" Draco said smiling nastily. "Was the nasty murder mean to you?" he said in a highly mocking tone.

Harry smiled. "You really are an idiot" he said as the entire area around him seemed to be filled with magic. He took a few calming breaths. Then signed off the final piece of paper. "Have you taken the offer?" he asked.

"No he did not!" Malfoy Snr spat. "That traitorous bitch did." he said glaring at his soon to be ex-wife. Dead wife if he had a say in the matter.

Harry's eyes turned slowly to the pale Mrs Malfoy. Or would that be Miss Black? "I'll honour the code on this." he said. "You are granted sanctuary in my home." he looked to the Malfoy men, "You two get the Fuck out before I have Kreacher throw you out."

"Now ..." Malfoy Snr began and that was as far as he got. Harry's eyes flashed and the blonde was sent flying back over a chair and hitting the rear wall.

"It's not a good idea to Piss me off when I'm TRYING to stay in control" he said tendrils of power snapping and hissing around him. Visible lightning bolts appearing around him. "I have this control problem" he said with a nasty smile. "Accidental magic, at my age... Terrible huh?" he said his eyes pinning Draco to the spot. "Best get away before I... oh I dunno... turn you back into a ferret."

Draco ran to his father and triggered the return port key that had been supplied.

Harry addressed the room at large. "I do not wish to be rude. But please, all of you, get out of my house." he said and with that turned to Mrs Malfoy, "But not you two." He said, looking to Daedalus as well. Then he walked to the back of the room, as far away from everyone as he could get.

Since he was putting out pure power and an aura of danger. It was widely held that the best thing they could all do was honour his wishes on this one.

Dumbledore in particular realised staying would only make things worse. The phrase My House, had told him all he needed to know about the documents Harry had just signed. The Black Ancestral home could not be given away. It followed the line of succession. Meaning Harry was now a black and the head of the family. To do that Sirius had pulled a swift one on Dumbledore. Which meant that Dumbledore had to go straight to Privet Drive and check the Wards.

"Miss Black" Daedalus said, "I have some papers for you to sign" he told her as people began to leave by droves. Some glaring at Harry, others not caring either way. Just happy to end the bizarre reading.

Harry watched them go, trying to control his temper as best he could. He was more angry than he could ever remember being. Not at what Sirius had done, not exactly. That actually amused him a little. It felt like cheating for sure, but he doubted Voldemort would wait, just as Sirius had said. No this was perhaps at least a way for him to survive. Perhaps even what the Prophesy had talked about in fact. His head really hurt and his entire body felt like it was on fire. But he was no stranger to pain. In it's various forms. At least he wasn't grieving, he was half tempted to perform Necromancy so he would get the old dog back and kick his arse before killing him again. Then perhaps repeating the process a few times. He knew the anger would fade in time. Not for a good long while though he suspected.

How could he ask that of him? Some of his requests had been fair and easy to perform. Others had been more difficult. Have Fun? How was he supposed to have fun when he had to do THAT!

The old bastard.

Harry blew out a breath. He wasn't just angry with Sirius either. The bastard had gone on to tell him a few home truths that rankled oh, just a lot.

He looked up to see Miss Black, or was that Ms? Either way the beautiful blond had signed her papers and was looking at Harry with a little nervousness. Which was to be expected since Harry had his own personal lightning storm still. He took a few more deep breaths. Pushing back his power. The storm faded somewhat, until finally it was gone. He was still pissed as hell but at least he wasn't going to blow anyone, or anything up. "Thank you Mr Diggle" Harry said.

The Lawyer smiled at him in a kindly fashion. "It was a most unusual reading. I hope that in future all my readings will be so interesting." he said.

Harry snorted. He'd be willing to bet the man wouldn't if he had known what was going on. "You should use your Port Key sir. The room will shortly be collapsing."

"I was told that would happen" Diggle said, "I wish you well. You have an appointment with the Goblins tomorrow to finalise the financial details."

"Mr Diggle" Harry said stilling the mans motion towards his port key. "Could I trouble you for some parchment and a quill?"

"Of course." Daedalus said with a smile. Fetching both from his ridiculous valise. He laid them down on the table. He nodded to Narcissa, "Miss Black." he said and triggered his port key.

"What about me Baron?" Cissy asked.

Harry smiled thinly, "That's going to take some getting used to." he commented wryly. "As I perform the end of the spell. You'll have to stay close to me, I'm afraid holding on tight if you want to survive the experience. Until I've performed it, you won't be able to get out the door. The Bugger didn't think that bit through."

Cissy rose an elegant brow at him. "I am sorry" Harry said. "I realise we don't know each other well enough to be ... hugging. There really is no other choice." He then looked to the corner of the room. "I'll be in touch with you shortly" he said his eyes hard. Cissy turned to look at the blank space in confusion. There was a slight pop as a Port key was triggered.

Harry held out his arms with a smirk. "Miss Black?"

Cissy nodded and stepped into his arms. Surprised that he was so strong as he held tightly on to her.

"Mischief Managed" he said.

The room swirled around him at his worlds. Glowing brightly and flashing in and out of phase. It appeared to fold itself up around them. Getting closer and closer at a rapid rate. The walls closing in in a worrying fashion. Cissy looked at Harry who looked back steadily. She was taken by his eyes for a moment. They held a lot of power, quite a bit of pain and where a most attractive shade of green now that she came to look so closely at him. Then he let go of her and she looked around. Finding herself standing in a hauntingly familiar kitchen.

"Oh" she said in surprise.