My Life's Stranger Than Yours

(A/N: For thousands of years (or at least 5 or 6) this has laid dormant in my mind. There've been many attempts to bring it out. Each one, a painful, agonizing, FAILURE. However, I think I might've finally hit the mark this time. Welcome to my Ranma ½/Dragon Ball Z Crossover!)

Prologue

"WHAT A HAUL!"

"Nabiki…please don't say that. You sound like Happosai," Akane deadpanned.

"Thanks little sis, that's what I was aiming for," Nabiki chuckled.

"To be fair, we do have a lot of bags, don't we?" added Kasumi.

Sure enough, the Tendo sisters had a fairly large quantity of bags and boxes, courtesy of their latest shopping trip. Deciding to shake things up a little today, they opted to go a few towns over to the mall in a place called Satan City instead of the usual place in Nerima. They'd long since left the mall and were making plans to head back home.

"With this much stuff, I wish Ranma was here to carry it for us," Akane groaned.

"Well, that's why we invited you Akane, cause you're the strongest," Nabiki joked. Akane was about to retort when Nabiki cut her off. "Still, it sure was nice of Mrs. Saotome to fund our trip, wouldn't you say girls?"

Akane and Kasumi nodded.

"Before we head back, I think we should get Aunt Nodoka a gift," Kasumi suggested.

"I agree!" exclaimed Akane.

"Ditto, but what do we get her?" asked Nabiki.

The trio paused. After a brief moment of thought, Akane's face lit up.

"Oh! I think I we passed a bakery somewhere. Why don't we buy her a cake." She suggested.

Kasumi nodded in agreement, but Nabiki kept a look of contemplation on her face. "Not bad, but I think we can do better than that."

"You just want to keep looking around the city, don't you?" Kasumi asked.

"Well…I won't deny that," Nabiki replied. "After all, it's not every day we get to take a trip to Satan City."

"About that…what's up with the name of this place?" Akane asked. "So far everything looks pretty normal, but a place called 'Satan City' doesn't exactly sound very…visitor friendly."

"I've been wondering about that myself," said Kasumi.

Nabiki turned to her sisters with a look of disbelief, mostly aimed at Akane. "Okay…I wouldn't expect Kasumi to be too interested in this, but Akane, I figured you'd know at least."

"Know what?"

"This town's named after the famous martial artist called Mr. Satan, who apparently saved them from some great disaster or something like that," Nabiki informed them.

"Oh yeah, I remember the name now, but I don't remember anything about a disaster," Akane stated.

"Don't rack your brain too hard little sister. We were just kids when all that supposedly happened." Nabiki replied.

"Although…now that you reminded me about Mr. Satan, I kind of wish I could get the chance to meet his daughter."

"His daughter?" said Kasumi.

"What about her?"

Akane shook her head and waved her hands defensively. "Oh it's nothing," she said. "It's just…it'd be nice to meet a celebrity," she said hurriedly. Trying to change the subject, Akane quickly added. "C'mon, let's find that bakery and head home already, huh?"

"Okay," Kasumi said. Nabiki nodded in agreement, but made a mental note to press Akane about this later.

[A few moments later]

After a bit of searching, the trio found the bakery they were searching for and after a moment inside, the young girls exited with yet another box in hand.

"Well that was sweet, wouldn't you say girls?" Nabiki asked.

"You think you're 'punny' don't you?" Akane replied.

The older sisters both giggled. "Well, this was fun, but I think it's time for us to call it a day," said Kasumi.

Her younger sisters nodded in agreement and the trio began to make their way towards the bus stop.

[A short while later]

The Tendo girls finally arrived at the bus stop. They'd arrived a few minutes ahead of schedule so they had some time to rest on the bench. As the trio waited for the next bus to arrive, Nabiki decided to bring up an old 'glossed over' subject.

"So Akane, remember when you said you wanted to meet Mr. Satan's daughter?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah, what about it?" Akane replied with a raised eyebrow.

"You said it'd be nice to meet a celebrity, and while that's true, wouldn't the real celebrity be Mr. Satan himself? Why his daughter?" Nabiki asked.

"Now that you mention it, I'm curious about that myself," Kasumi added.

Akane paused for a moment and took a small breath. "Okay…I've never told anyone this, but for the longest time, Mr. Satan's daughter has been…something of an inspiration for me."

Kasumi and Nabiki's eyes both widened at their little sister's declaration. "Well this is news to me," said Kasumi.

"Yeah, you want to elaborate a little Akane?"

A small smile forming on her face, Akane looked towards the sky as she began to reminisce.

"Well…some details are still a bit fuzzy, but I remember watching the World Martial Arts Junior Division Tournament on TV, and she was the only girl there. As if that wasn't enough, she was only 10 at the time, but every other competitor was a boy who was like, 13 or 14."

Kasumi and Nabiki were starting to get intrigued by Akane's tale. True neither of them were martial artists, but they could tell that those odds weren't exactly favorable for a 10-year-old girl.

"Anyway, once the tournament began her first opponent was this one kid who looked pretty strong, and she beat him with one kick to the gut! At the time, I guess you could say I was a little awestruck," Akane sheepishly chuckled.

"Then what happened?" Nabiki asked, a bit more franticly than expected.

"I remember she blitzed her way through all of her opponents, easily. It looked like she could've had a clean sweep…until the final round."

"The final round?"

Akane nodded. "Her last opponent was this cocky 15-year-old guy, and unlike the other guys in the Tournament who just looked tough, this guy actually was tough."

"Boy or girl, why would they let a 10-year-old fight a 15-year-old?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki put a hand to her chin in thought. "Well…if memory serves, I think the Adult Division Tournament is 16 and up, and there are rumors that there actually didn't use to be a Junior League at all."

"That doesn't seem too fair to me," Kasumi responded. "I mean, just think of what'd happen if say a 5-year-old has to fight someone twice their age. Shouldn't there at least be different classes between the ages?"

"Ahem!" Akane furiously cleared her throat.

"Despite the great point Kasumi made, can I finish my story please?" she asked, visibly irritated.

The two older girls quickly silenced themselves and gave Akane the floor again.

"Thank you. So anyway, her opponent was a 15-year-old guy who was almost twice her size. After they clashed with each other for a long time, it got to a point where he had her pinned down. I remember watching her trying to break free, but it looked like it was no use, which only got worse once the announcer guy started counting to 10."

Nabiki and Kasumi were paying full attention to the story now. Though it was Akane's memory, they could both practically see the scene playing out in their heads.

"Once the announcer was almost finished, the coolest thing I'd seen yet happened!"

[Flashback]

A young 9 year old Akane was sitting cross legged on the couch, her excited eyes glued to the TV screen. On the screen, we see a 10 year old girl with blue eyes, black hair tied into small pigtails, and an eggshell colored gi being forced down on the ring tile by the knee of a tall dirty blonde haired boy.

Akane's eyes began to quiver as the announcer started counting up to ten. The tall boy moved his head down closer to the black-haired girl's ear, possibly with intent to gloat, but that was his biggest mistake. Once the announcer hit 7, the small girl on the TV managed to grab the collar of her opponent's shirt. She then summoned all the strength her legs could muster and shoved off, managing to perform a somersault that, combined with her grip on his shirt, vaulted her stunned rival off of her back and out of the ring, making her the winner.

As the announcer made the call for the black-haired girl's win, the scene then shifts to young Akane bouncing up and down on the sofa cheering on her new hero's victory as she was being given a trophy and a gold medal.

[End Flashback]

"That moment is what motivated me as a martial artist for the longest time. After all, she's only a year older than me, and if she could win a Tournament against a bunch of guys who were way bigger than her, then that's the kind of martial artist I'd want to be like the most." Akane finished.

The two older girls paused. They'd mostly known Akane as a pretty envious girl. To have her admit that there was someone she legitimately looked up to for inspiration was a little shocking, but also reassuring.

"What a great story," Kasumi said. Nabiki could only give a small smile, but that was all she needed to show her agreement. "I think it's great you have someone to look up to."

"Yeah well, a lot of good it's done me so far," Akane replied. "Compared to the crazy things I've seen and been through this past year, that big Tournament win seems pretty…."

"Meh?" Nabiki suggested.

"Not the word I was looking for, but…yeah. Also, I'm sure Satan's daughter is still pretty strong, but I doubt she has what it takes to deal with the crap I have to deal with on a regular basis."

The sisters all giggled. The thought of anyone outside of their circle of family and foes dealing with the craziness they've endured made for a fun little laugh.

Nabiki checked her watch. Five minutes had passed since they'd arrived at the stop (Akane's story certainly helped pass the time), so the bus should've arrived by then.

"Wonder what's taking the bus so long," Nabiki stated.

Before either of her sisters could respond, a loud "BANG!" caught all three girls' attention.

"What was that!?" Akane exclaimed. Her answer came in the form of the sound of tires screeching accompanied by a loud siren.

"The heck's going on?" Nabiki asked. The sisters turned towards the direction of the noise and they all froze. Good news is the bus had finally arrived. Bad news, it was coming in fast…VERY fast. The worse news is that the bus was being chased by a police car, and the ugly news is that the 'Bang' they heard before was a gunshot; The police in the car were firing at the bus.

"I know we've seen more intense things, but man, it's not every day you get a front row seat to a police chase, huh?" said Nabiki.

"Should you really be intrigued by this!?" Akane snapped.

The impending argument was cut off by the sound of another gunshot, followed by what sounding like a loud hissing sound. The officer who fired had hit the bus in one of its tires and the large vehicle began to swerve out of control. While the driver tried desperately to get the bus back under control, it ultimately flipped over and began sliding across the road…right towards the Tendo sisters.

"Guys, let's move it!" Akane frantically yelled. All three sisters darted away from the bus stop just before the bus slid into the bench they were on and screeched to a halt.

As the girls dusted themselves off from their hasty exit, Nabiki had a realization. "Our stuff!"

As they turned their attention back to the crash, they saw that all of their purchases had been scattered around the ground, but otherwise, didn't look too worse for wear.

"Oh my! Aunt Nodoka's cake!" Kasumi added.

"There it is." Among the scattered clothes, make up, and other miscellaneous items, the sisters quickly spotted the cake box. It was right side up, so they were hoping it hadn't gotten completely ruined.

Kasumi quickly made her way towards the box and was about to make a reach for it when out of nowhere, she was grabbed by the wrist. Looking up, she gasped as she came face to face with a man in sunglasses holding a rifle in his free hand, accompanied by another in a mask.

"Sorry little lady, but we're gonna need your help for a bit," the gunman said.

Akane and Nabiki briefly paused as everything that was happening registered within them. Once everything sank in, Akane's shock quickly became anger. Her fist clenched tight, she ran towards Kasumi and her captor, poised to attack.

"HEY!"

The crooks turned towards the call and saw Akane rushing towards him. "Let go of my sister!" she yelled.

The masked crook simply raised his gun and aimed it at the younger girl who instantly stopped in her tracks.

"Don't move a muscle kid," said the gunman. "Unless of course you want your cute older sis here to get filled full of lead." He finished as the leader turned his gun to Kasumi

"No, don't!" Akane exclaimed.

"Akane!" called an approaching Nabiki.

"I said, don't move!" The gunman opened fire on the two girls, hitting the area right in front of them and forcing them to move back. As Akane avoided the gunshots, she stumbled backwards and bumped into Nabiki, causing both of them to fall to the ground.

"Alright now, listen closely," The head gunman spoke. "Your sis here is gonna help us with our getaway. Once we know we'll be home free, you can have her back, nice and easy. Until then, you two stay put and keep quiet." As he finished speaking, he put two fingers to his mouth and let out a loud whistle. Suddenly, two more guys with masks and guns came crawling out of the crashed vehicle.

"You two, keep an eye on these two, I gotta chat with the coppers real quick," the boss gunman ordered. The two subordinates saluted and aimed their guns at Nabiki and a shaking Akane as their boss dragged Kasumi back to the bus.

[With Kasumi]

Kasumi's captor was very harshly pulling on her arm. She dare not try to pull away as the other two robbers had their weapons pointed at her. Once the group arrived at the flipped over bus, they heard a voice call to them through a megaphone.

"Give up, your vehicle's wrecked and we've got you cornered. Come out from behind the bus with your hands up!" The officer demanded.

"I don't think so Captain!" said the boss gunman. "After all, you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to this little cutie here, would you?" He proceeded to step out from behind the bus while holding Kasumi in front of him as a human shield.

The cops on the scene all visibly shuddered. 'Where'd that young lady come from?' the captain thought.

"Alright, here's the deal," the boss stated. "We've got a few capsule vehicles here with us. "You're gonna let us pop em' open, load up the money we got, and drive away and I promise we'll let the girls go."

"Girls? Plural?" asked the captain.

"Yeah! This chick here has two sisters that the rest of my boys are keeping company," he informed them. "Even if this one here gets away from us, it'd sure suck for her sisters, eh Cap?" he taunted.

The Police Captain narrowed his eyes. He signaled his men to hold their fire and ordered them to listen to the demands…for the moment at least.

[A short moment later]

The criminals had managed to load two huge sacks of money onto the back of two ATV's they uncapped, all the while leaving the cops and the Tendo sisters unable to resist lest they put Kasumi at risk. Once the boss got the AOK from his subordinates, he gave two of them the order to get moving.

As one of the vehicles drove off, the two remaining crooks slowly made their way towards the remaining bike with Kasumi still in their grasp.

"I'd like to thank you all for your cooperation," The head crook said. The cops all narrowed their eyes at the Shades Man's taunting.

"Buuuut, before we go…." The sunglass clad criminal's face began heating up as his arm, whch was wrapped around Kasumi's waist, slowly started rising up her body and his face slowly approached hers.

Upon watching the creep attempt to grope her big sister, Akane's steadily building rage finally exploded.

"Get your filthy hands off my sister you perv!" Akane yelled, rushing the crooks once again.

"Akane wait!" Nabiki called out.

Though slightly startled by Akane's shout, the boss kept his arm resting just under Kasumi's chest, causing the startled young woman to let out a squeal.

"I thought I told you to freeze!" the masked henchman snapped back aiming his gun at Akane, who's fierce rage quickly transformed into fear as her body froze and began to shake. "The boss hasn't been this close to a pretty woman for almost a year, so if he wants to have his fun, y'all are gonna let him!"

"Thanks Stretch," said the boss. "Now," he turned his attention back to Kasumi, looking down at her chest, then back at her face. "Where were we?"

Akane's mind and heart were racing. She couldn't let that creep touch her sister like that, but what could she do? She couldn't get close enough to stop him in time as long as that second creep was there with the gun…and why couldn't she stop shaking!? She's dealt with way scarier things than just some punks with guns right? She should be able to handle this, right? Because she was a martial artist…right!?

Akane wasn't the only one who was shaking right now, as Nabiki was practically seething with rage that both of her sisters had been captured. As for Kasumi, her whole body was shuddering in fear as she was at a loss of what to do. She could try to break free, but then, what would happen to Akane? She obviously didn't want to let the bad guys get their way, but she didn't see any other option. Steeling herself, she said, "Please…I won't resist, just let my sisters go." Kasumi stated.

"Kasumi?"

"Sis, don't do it!" Nabiki called.

The leader grinned. "That's more like it, now pucker up sweetheart!"

Kasumi closed her eyes and gently stuck her lips out.

'Kasumi's giving up her first kiss…to save me!?' Akane thought, tears forming in her eyes. "N-no…Kasumi…I'm sorry…this is all my fault."

As the boss moved in to kiss her, for a split second, the light overhead dimmed, catching everyone's attention. The boss looked up and said "Wha-?" He was cut off by a foot colliding with his face, smashing his sunglasses, and forcing him back a good distance away from Kasumi.

"Boss!" The henchman barely had time to register what happened as something that felt like a pair of slender legs wrapped around the back of his neck and flipped him over face first on the ground, knocking him out.

"I swear, you're the type of scum I hate the most!" snapped a fierce female voice. "It's bad enough that you rob banks, but now you've also resorted to harassing young girls? Absolutely disgusting."

The boss picked himself and grabbed the shattered remains of his shades from off the ground. "Alright, who's the dead jackass that did that!?" he shouted.

"That'd be me," answered the female voice. All eyes turned to a girl who looked around the same age as Akane or Nabiki. A girl with short black hair, blue eyes, clad in a pink t-shirt with a larger white shirt over it, and black, tight fitting athletic pants.

"Maybe you've heard of me. The name's Videl," she introduced herself, taking a fighting stance. "And I'm the daughter of Mr. Satan!"

(To Be Continued)
[Cue Roundabout]

(A/N: I really shouldn't be writing another story right now when I've already got one on the backburner, but this is something I've been dying to get out. Ever since my early days on , I've always wanted to do a Ranma/DBZ crossover, but all my previous attempts have just been absolute crap, which is why you can no longer see them. However, after working on my DBZ/JL story, I think I may finally have the experience and ideas to get it done.

Speaking of that DBZ/JL story, I've sort of hit a block that I can't continue from yet. My hours at work aren't helping that either since they leave me mentally drained and not really in a writing mood [I work at a toy store and it's November. I think you can guess how crazy things can and will get]. I'll continue my DBZ/JL crossover at my earliest convenience, but for the moment, I'm going to try and keep my creativity flowing by trying my hand at something else for the moment.

As for this chapter, it's just an introduction, nothing special. Although I will say, this is WAAAAAY Pre-BoG/Super on the Dragon Ball side (think Wrath of the Dragon) and the final arc in Ranma hasn't happened yet, but Nodoka is already living with the Tendo Family. For now, I just hope the Tendo sisters feel right and everything regarding the 'Hostage Scene' is believable. Also, don't worry, I wasn't actually going to have the boss do anything M-Rated to Kasumi, this isn't that kind of story (though Ranma and Dragon Ball both have their perverted sides). Anyway, leave a review and when we come back, we get to watch (read) Videl save the day and Akane dish out some well-deserved payback.)

PS. This story is briefly inspired by the works of Megaminoeien on Deviantart. Specifically, the ones titled "You're One To Talk", "Sparring Partners", and "Double Team" (I'll link them on my profile if I can). They were the big inspirations for my early Ranma/DBZ attempts as well.

PSS. Happy Belated Veteran's Day.