He hadn't wanted to restrain her.

But he saw the way she moved through the forest. Alert and aware, picking up every sound, every movement. She contained all the grace of a predator or exotic animal.

Her instincts were spot on and defensive. He wouldn't have been able to talk to her otherwise.

Though he shouldn't have, he took this rare opportunity to look at her, absorbing every detail like he was gulping down water.

Even with dirt smudged across her cheek, torn scavenger clothes and hair strewn about her face, she was a gravitational pull, the pout of her lips and the soft thump of her heart beat burning every inch of him as he had no choice but to fall into her orbit.

A lone piece of space debris, he longed to somehow make it past her atmosphere so he could be lonely with her too.

He was sure she remembered him. Somewhere. In the deep recesses of her mind. But obviously not enough.

The image of her running and darting through the trees, desperate to get away from him, shooting at him with a blaster came to mind.

It was not how he pictured their reunion to be.

The dark knight gazed upon her sleeping form adoringly, aching to stroke her gentle face, or move a wisp of hair from her forehead, but he didn't dare. He couldn't let himself.

As his eyes moved up her body, past her shoulders and to her face, he noticed the line between her eyes.

Even unconscious, her tension was visible. Her entire body was taut like a string, her brow furrowed and her jaw clenched.

She was in agony.

He forced himself to turn away from her, clenching his fists shut at his sides.

Freezing her body and putting her to sleep had been necessary. But…dwelling into her mind while she was unconscious…

His eyes wandered back to her face.

It felt dirty. Unfair. She was defenseless at the moment. He had multiple advantages over her. He wouldn't even be giving her a chance.

But…

Kylo straightened his shoulders, rearranging his face under the mask so he was the picture of calm and collected.

He stretched the energy field around him to merge with hers, until he'd established a link with her mind.

Effortlessly he snuck past the walls she'd placed on herself. Not for defense against psychic attacks, but rather to protect herself from pain.

He gritted his teeth at this realization.

Then scowled when he realized it bothered him.

Her emotions and thoughts were so vivid it was as though she was screaming them at him.

She knew now she had a connection to the force. And it terrified her. She saw what people with the force could do…like him…

The girl was afraid it was the reason her parents had left her behind.

Kylo was momentarily distracted by streams of water falling from her eyes.

He bit his tongue to keep from wiping them away, getting back to the task at hand.

He watched the image play in her mind.

A ship disappearing into the blue sky of Jakku, a young girl crying out, begging for her family to come back.

Years of loneliness and waiting…

Her body shook with anguish and exhaustion, tired of feeling this way. Tired of falling asleep and reliving these emotions over and over. It was such a strain…if only she could just sleep…

She knew loneliness and abandonment. She knew it all too well.

Like him.

The dark knight froze as his heart pounded hard in his chest. It was as if he were watching his own memories. A young child, dumped by their parents, reaching for a future they couldn't have.

Her anxiety and isolation affected her so strongly it had manifested itself into a physical pain. A pain he could feel just by looking at her.

He couldn't help himself.

The man clad in black lowered his hand so it was just inches above her face, palm downwards.

For the first time in a while, he channeled the light.

He gave her visions of a blue ocean, sunny skies, soft, lush green grass.

The salty smell of ocean air, the warmth of sunlight on her back.

He gave her love and light and life, so that it flowed throughout her whole body.

The girl relaxed, peace overcoming her expression. Her arms and legs went limp, as she snuggled deeper into the seat, her breathing became even and deep, her chest falling and rising like the ocean waves.

The sight made his heart ache.

It was unnerving.

Kylo Ren moved his hand away, carefully surveilling her dreams, making sure they didn't go back to a dark place.

Though he desperately wanted to, he didn't wake her up.

Instead, he resigned to kneel at her feet, exercising the most patience he'd ever spent for the sake of another.

The girl he thought he'd lost was within arm's length. So close. He could count the freckles on her nose.

But she may as well have been in another star system, for she remained untouchable.

It made him miserable with weakness and frustration.

But she needed to trust him. He needed her to trust him.

He'd waited this long.

~.~

The girl woke up with a start, instantly terrified that she couldn't move. She glanced down to see him kneeling on the ground, looking up at her.

He was glad she couldn't see his expression behind the mask. It was half the reason he wore it.

"Where am I?" her voice was scared and defensive, sharp as though breathing was difficult.

He couldn't help gasping. The sound of her voice was that of a young girl's, so feminine and disarming. He wasn't expecting it to have such an effect on him.

But her voice was scared. He didn't want her to be scared. "You're my guest," he said gently, recovering himself.

She raised an eyebrow, taken aback by his tone. "W-where are the others?" she asked, as though she was unsure of who she was as a person when she wasn't around them.

He couldn't keep the resentment out of his response, irritated that she preferred their company over his. "You mean the murders, traitors and thieves you call friends?" he pointed out.

Not that he was much better. He was all of those things too.

But he backtracked. "You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea." He tried to keep his usual snark to a minimum but it was an effort.

Maybe if he could coax her…gently nudge her mind, see what –

He bristled.

She was thinking of how to escape the room. Escape him. He'd terrified her, a dark, lumbering figure in the woods stalking her until she was trapped like an animal.

She felt humiliated and weak.

She wished she had her blaster.

"You still want to kill me," he said with sudden revelation, glad she couldn't see his face flush with hurt.

Her jaw was tight. "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask," she snarled.

He smirked under the mask. Monster, huh? he thought.

With the grace of the Prince he'd been born as, he unfastened the buckles on his helmet, pulling it off and rising to meet her gaze.

She gawked, caught off guard with how human he looked as he stood motionless.

The girl's eyes wandered up and down his body, then she looked off to the side, as if she'd been embarrassed to have done so.

Maybe she didn't remember him, but some things didn't change.

He liked how she looked too.

He walked forward so he was closer to her.

He wanted this to be a conversation, not a torture session.

"Tell me about the droid," he prompted softly, like it was just a normal breach of topic.

But she was stubborn, avoiding eye contact and immediately going into a rant about its hardware. "He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and thermal hyper scan vindicator – "

No, he thought to himself, getting irritated. She needed to be open with him. "He's carrying a section of a navigational chart," he interrupted.

She had to cooperate with him. He didn't want to resort to his alternative methods. He didn't want to do that to her. "We have the rest," he continued, "recovered from archives of the empire, but we need the last piece. And somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you." He scowled, his ego bruised. "You. A scavenger."

He couldn't help it. It was infuriating.

He needed to prove himself to Snoke. He himself struggled so much with ignoring the call of the light. His internal conflict was tearing him apart. He needed it to end.

He needed to be strong, dedicating himself to a purpose, a cause. If he found the last piece of the map, Snoke would help him complete his training, and he wouldn't have to feel all of these overwhelming emotions.

The longing for the girl in front of him, the emptiness that mirrored hers, his mother's face…

But he was startled out of his reverie at her humiliated expression, and the unshed tears in her eyes.

She was afraid, despite the brave face she was putting on.

He saw it.

She wasn't proud that she was a scavenger. She knew what she was, and that her mark on this world wasn't even a blemish on the surface of time and space. She hated that he saw it. Saw her.

It was clear he had to use force. For her sake, he'd make it quick. Despite what she might think, he derived no pleasure from doing this. But he had to make a point. "You know I can take whatever I want," he said, emulating an air of complete confidence.

He could do anything to her. Torture her with his mind, tear her apart piece by piece until she was a shadow of emptiness and sorrow, writhing on that containment slab. If only she knew how much restraint he was exercising.

He could've activated his lightsaber and had her killed in an instant.

But he'd treated her with more tenderness and gentility than he had treated anyone in years. She didn't have a scratch on her, her sanity was still intact, and violating her in any way hadn't even crossed his mind.

But she had to know that he could, if he wanted to.

He'd start with something mild.

He raised a hand to channel his power, instantly causing the girl to seize and stiffen her body in resistance.

He entered his conscious into her mind, not even beginning to use his sight yet. Just absorbing her emotions, which weren't well hidden.

He was being quite gentle, but he knew she wasn't used to the sensation. Sharing a consciousness with another person, having her mind pushed and prodded. She gritted her teeth in extreme discomfort.

But this was nothing compared to what he could do. With this frame of reference, he continued. "You're so lonely," he said softly, but he didn't need to search her mind to know that part.

He searched her feelings, the racing of her heart.

She'd been away from Jakku for too long. They could've come back for her, looking for her, only to find that she'd disappeared.

She might've lost her chance to find her family.

Every second she was trapped here was a waste of time. Every second she'd spent with Finn and Han Solo were keeping her from what was most important. She never should've taken in BB8 or she wouldn't be in this mess.

He started to use his sight now. He saw flashes: the tally marks on her wall, the long-dead flower on her nightstand, still kept in a vase as if it were precious. The pilot helmet she clung to like a childhood toy, her reluctance to look away from the sky.

His voice was soft and coaxing as he tried to ignore the pangs of despair and longing he felt. "So afraid to leave," he murmured. Her loneliness was a weight on her chest, making it difficult for her to sleep.

She lay awake for hours in the darkness of her home, knowing in her head she had to get a decent amount of rest or she wouldn't have the energy to scavenge for parts the next morning.

And no parts meant no food.

But she couldn't. The sandy wastelands of Jakku were freezing at night. She would place bags of sand and piles of scavenged parts that didn't make the cut for rations on either side of her cot, to give herself the illusion she was sleeping next to someone.

The interrogator let a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. If she were his, he'd be able to ease her loneliness. She'd have nothing but dreams of blue seas and damp earth between her toes. If only she could've trusted him, she never would've felt alone again.

But instead, here they were, the last place he wanted to be. "At night…desperate to sleep," he said, and then he saw. "You imagine an ocean."

Of course she would. She loved the ocean. It was a cruel irony that she'd be sent away to a place where there wasn't a drop of water to rub between her fingers.

She'd loved it more than anything else. Above all things, he remembered that the most. "I see it," he confirmed, getting almost lost in her fantasy, her happy place. "I see the island," his tone was dreamy.

Her imagination was so vivid. He smelled the salt, tasted it on his tongue, felt the ocean breeze in his hair. Felt the bubble of seafoam pop against his ankles and the damp sand sink beneath his feet.

But his pleasant oasis came to a crashing halt as his father's face surfaced in his mind.

He saw the moments he'd craved for himself. Bonding over the millennium falcon, the mutually extensive knowledge of ships and the parts that made them work.

She was a knack with machines. Always had been.

"And Han Solo," he said, his tone suddenly neutral and emotionless, like he was talking about a stranger. "He's like the father you never had," he stated matter of factly. "He would've disappointed you," he reassured.

But she'd had it. Her cheeks were flushed with exertion, her hands were clenched into fists and her jaw remained taught as a bowstring. "Get out of my head," she demanded through gritted teeth.

He pulled away, stepping back, but keeping the mind connection open.

He wasn't done yet.

"You've seen the map," he repeated, reminding her of why she was here. "It's in there. And now you'll give it to me."

He'd wasted time. He's let his emotions for her influence his actions. He could've had the map already. He didn't want to cause her pain.

But she wasn't giving him a choice.

His arm was still outstretched.

"I'm not giving you anything," she said sharply, with obvious effort.

She was still fighting him, more than the rebel pilot had been able to do.

She had a strong mind. He couldn't help admiring that.

"We'll see," he whispered softly, confident in his abilities.

He leaned too close to her though. He'd nearly brushed her cheek with the tips of his gloved fingers.

Despite the fact he hadn't, she gasped anyway, her cheeks flushing as a shudder passed through her.

Kylo wished he had his mask on. Without it, his heart was an open book. He'd never been able to mask his emotions the way she could.

Without it, she'd seen his eyes. The way he was looking at her. She'd seen how he'd reacted to it too. He pulled away only slightly, startled by how close he'd gotten to her. But his energy had brushed gently past her own and it stabbed him with such a pang of familiarity he trembled.

The sensation was all-consuming, overcoming every cell.

This energy…

It was more intimate than touching her could ever be. "Don't be afraid, I feel it too," he whispered, letting her have this one piece of him.

That was the moment he was overcome.

He was smitten. After this damn interrogation, he'd give her anything. He'd be anything she wanted. Guardian, comrade, lover…

His fantasies were dashed in seconds.

There was a solid barrier in his path.

It may as well have been made of stone, there was no penetrating it.

He was stunned out of his dreamy reverie, powerless to do more than look upon her in astonishment and hurt.

He'd felt something. She'd felt it too. But she was choosing to ignore it, shutting him out.

She'd put a barrier on her mind.

And suddenly she was pushing back.

No, he thought. She couldn't. She'd see his conflict, she'd see his isolation. How the light beckoned to him like the succubus it was.

He put forth more effort. He wasn't holding back now.

He couldn't let her.

But to his horror, he was still being pushed.

His eyes widened in frustration as she grew in power.

She was stretching muscles she'd just discovered. There was an excess of energy hitting him so hard it was blinding.

He stretched his fingers till they were stiff as boards, desperate to stop this.

But despite his years of training and her ridiculous lack of experience, she was fighting him.

And she was winning.

He pleaded with her.

Stop, he warned, breathing hard with effort.

Her presence in his mind was subtle and soft, like a drop of rain against your skin.

His instinct was to give in to it. Amplify these sensations and get swept into them.

He was frozen, helpless to do anything but push against her in vain.

"You," she said in surprise, "You're afraid."

No, don't, he was screaming it, completely caught off guard by this invasion.

She was going to vocalize the fear he'd held inside him for the past decade.

She couldn't. It wasn't fair. He hadn't even admitted to himself. It was the one lie he allowed himself to tell.

The girl would tear him apart. Ruin him. Crush him.

He begged her with his eyes, visibly straining against her.

She said it anyway.

"That you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader!"

He cut off the connection, withdrawing his arm and clutching it to his chest as if she'd burned him.

He'd taken a few steps back, suddenly needing all the distance he could get from this girl.

Kylo Ren's eyes were no doubt fearful, his whole body rattled. It was then he remembered he wasn't wearing his mask.

She saw it all.

His shock and horror, the betrayal stamped on his face.

She hadn't looked away, as though she was reveling in her newfound power.

She'd done the unforgivable.

Put his vulnerability on display, triumphing in his weakness, reducing him to a hyperventilating mess, drops of sweat clinging to the back of his neck.

He should've been furious. He should've killed her right then and there.

But all he could bring himself to feel was devastation and despair.

It rolled off of him in waves as he slowly drowned in it.

She cleared her throat like she was embarrassed. "I t-told you to – "

The girl stopped dead when he shot her a glare from across the room, pooling and spilling over with an emotion she couldn't name.

She had an expression on her face like she felt somewhat regretful for doing this to him. But he blinked and all traces of it dissipated.

"Keeping me here is a mistake," she said in monotone, lacking any emotion.

It infuriated him.

"They'll come back for me," she said, but with more conviction this time. "And they'll come back with friends."

How could she do that? Talk to him as though he were an adversary, like nothing had passed between them?

Kylo Ren raised a hand and clenched his fist.

The restraints on her wrists and ankles popped open, allowing her to move freely.

She immediately darted away from him to the other corner of the room. To her surprise, he'd made no move towards her.

In fact, he seemed to be enjoying the distance.

"You speak to me as though I'm an enemy," he stated flatly, voicing an unasked question, reluctantly making eye contact.

She scowled. "Why would you be anything otherwise?"

His eyes narrowed.

He snapped.

The fuming man made it across the room in just a few long strides, inches from her face like he'd been before.

She braced herself for another psychic attack, but it didn't come.

Instead, he only gazed into her eyes with that same intensity. "You don't have to trust me," he whispered, choosing his words carefully. "You don't have to like me."

She glared him down, refusing to show weakness.

But her heart hammered in her chest at having someone so close to her.

His breath tickled the tip of her nose. She was close enough to see the curve of his lashes, the reddish tint to his mouth.

He raised his hand, but only to gesture to the space between them, what little of it there was left. "But do not act as though there is nothing here," he said darkly. "Do not lie."

Color rose to the girl's cheeks and her hands fidgeted with nervousness, but she didn't back down.

"The very least we can be to each other is honest," he stated as if he were scolding her.

What did he mean, the very least they could be?

Was he saying he wanted to be more? She didn't like him referring to them both as if they were a collective. They weren't to be grouped together as though they were friends.

She was speechless.

"Of all the things I've done," he insisted, his voice soft but radiating emotion, "I've never deceived you."

She had no logical way of knowing if this was a true statement, but there was nothing in his gaze to indicate that he was lying. "People don't mask themselves unless they have something to hide," she muttered. Her counter statement was a small victory.

Somehow, due to his close proximity, the gentleness of his voice, and the rawness of his emotions, Rey was frozen where she stood, despite being free.

She was captivated, and at the same time outraged by this man.

Any form of intelligible response to him was a miracle.

He swallowed, emotions exposed once again. "Do you see it now?" he asked, his eyes so stubborn and unwavering.

And just like that she was back to square one.

Rey was horrified to find she was short of breath, unable to look away from the dark brown of this man's eyes. He was drinking her in as though she were color or oxygen.

It was bewitching.

She hadn't been expecting this from the monster. This…vulnerability, this blatant evidence of humanity and his struggle to fight it.

The battles he'd lost against it.

His eyes strayed from hers to look down at her mouth.

It was so fast she could've missed it if she weren't paying attention.

She bit down on her lip nervously in response.

If he laid a hand on her…

She could tell he desperately wanted to.

His lips were parted slightly as if the close proximity was affecting him just as much as her.

The energy between them was an electric whirring buzz so breathtaking she could hear it.

He could easily close the gap between them, crash his mouth against hers, sweep her up into his arms and have his way with her.

She could feel his want…his desire…

He rose a gloved hand to her face.

She flinched, gritting her teeth, expecting another invasion.

But he simply brushed a finger over her cheek, letting the tip of one of his fingers rest on her bottom lip, where she'd bitten it.

The contact made her shudder and gasp with shock. She hadn't expected that. He hadn't done anything like this up until now.

Color rose to her cheeks almost instantaneously.

No one had treated her like this before.

His hand had cupped her face in a soft caress, the musky smell of the leather filling her nose and flooding her senses.

Their eyes were locked. Despite the fact he'd kidnapped her and held her against her will, she didn't see hatred or darkness in his eyes.

Only this maddening fervor, a need to be close to her. As close as possible.

Without realizing it, Rey had been leaning forward slightly, the lids of her eyes half-lidded, almost feeling the tip of his nose against hers.

She'd forgotten about the others. Finn, BB8, Han Solo and Moz...her mind was blank.

But something in his eyes changed, like he'd just recalled something.

To her shock, he pulled away.

The sudden loss of warmth and contact sent a shiver through her.

Let free from the spell, she immediately looked down, closing her eyes and trying to shut out the feeling that had come over her.

But she found herself biting down on her lip because he hadn't, and her face was hot, warm from the echo of his soft glove against her skin.

The tip of her tongue still tasted like leather.

She'd breathed out with a heavy sigh. But it hadn't been one of relief, it was one of disappointment.

He'd withdrawn.

And she was disappointed.

She scowled at herself.

Kylo Ren's mouth became a hard line, like he was trying to get rid of an impression or memory. "Damn Hux," he muttered under his breath.

The word was foreign to her. But it seemed like he was distracted by something. A matter he needed to address or a problem he needed to solve.

Her thought process unraveled when he made eye contact with her again.

With all the softness she'd found in his voice, he reached a hand up to brush a strand of hair out of her face, and place it behind her ear.

The girlish instincts that were surfacing only now screamed at her to lean into his warmth, and allow herself to be encompassed by his large, towering form.

It was a physical effort to fight them. Almost harder than fighting him.

But after stroking her cheek one last time, he withdrew his hand and slowly lumbered over to make his exit.

"I have no intention of harming you," he said flatly. He stepped towards the hanger door, typing in a code. Before stepping out of it he said over his shoulder with a wounded tone, "I'm the only one on this entire freighter who can say that."

With those final words, he exited the cell, the electronic door slamming behind him, leaving Rey in the cold and silence.