"So that was fun!" Lena says brightly as she gathers up the abandoned wine glasses from around the living room.

"Yeah, it was. Sam seems really nice."

"She's done an excellent job at L-Corp."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard good things." Kara flashes a smile that doesn't reach her eyes and Lena feels her shoulders drop.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

It's said too quickly, and Lena's suspicions grow.

"Kara . . ."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." She sets her collection of dirty dishes in the sink and folds her arms. "I know what happy Kara Danvers sounds like, and that's not it."

"I'm just tired."

"I can go? I know you said you wanted me to stay after, but-"

Kara snorts and Lena gets more frustrated.

"What is it?" She tries to keep her voice level, but it's been a long day, and Kara isn't the only one who's tired.

"You just don't get it do you?"

"Darling-"

"Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't call me that." There's an icy edge to Kara's voice and Lena draws her arms in tighter as if to shield herself.

They lock eyes for a long moment.

"You don't get to do that." Lena finally says, turning back to the sink in an effort to deflect the tension. "You don't get to act like something is wrong and then doge my questions. If I did something to upset you then I deserve to know what it is. You don't get to just be moody and expect me to figure it out."

There's a long pause and then she can hear Kara moving around the room, picking up. The silence hangs over them like a shroud, and though her hands go through the motions of washing, her mind is racing - wondering if Kara will say anything or if she'll continue to ignore it.

When she's finishes with the last glass, she dries her hands on the dish towel and gathers her purse.

"I think it's best if I go."

"Lee-" Kara's voice stops her from turning the door knob. "I'm sorry."

Slowly, she lets her hand drop and turns to face her friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kara doesn't answer outright, instead wringing her hands in front of her.

"I don't know how, I think that's part of the problem."

"You're my best friend, Kara, you can tell me anything."

Blue eyes rise to meet green.

"Is that what I am?"

Realization dawns.

"Ah."

"See?! That's what's so frustrating! You're so - so - calm about this!"

Lena's heart pounds in her chest, a direct dichotomy to Kara's words.

"Calm?"

"I kissed you! And you act like nothing has changed!"

"You were going through a rough spot -"

"No." Kara's voice is surprisingly firm. "I want to be clear that I knew exactly what I was doing when I kissed you."

"Kara, you were distraught with grief -"

"I wasn't. I mean, for the first few months after . . . I was. But last week, when I kissed you, I knew exactly what I was doing. It wasn't grief, or loneliness, or the guilt that you're apparently carrying around. I wanted to kiss you. And I really thought that you wanted to kiss me too, it seemed like you wanted it. If you didn't, then I'm sorry - I read the situation wrong, and I shouldn't have -"

All of Lena's feeling boil together until they allow her to speak a truth she's been denying for the past two weeks.

"I wanted it."

Something like relief lights in Kara's eyes.

"Oh, thank Rao, I was afraid I had forced myself on you and you hated me - "

"I wanted it, but I still shouldn't have let it happen." As much as it kills her, she has to say it, has to make herself clear.

"What?"

"Kara, I'm the reason Mon-El had to leave."

"We've been over this, Lena. I don't blame you. It had to happen."

"It's still my fault."

"So you're punishing yourself by not letting yourself recognize what we have?"

A part of her is desperate to let Kara see just how much she wants this, but she holds back.

"Kara-"

"When Sam was asking me about my love life, do you know what I wanted to say?"

Lena doesn't trust herself to speak, so she shakes her head.

"I wanted to talk about the color of your eyes, and the way your smile makes me feel like I'm floating." Kara's eyes glisten in the lamp light. "But I couldn't, because I don't know where we stand and you refuse to talk about it."

"I was trying to give you a way out."

"I don't want a way out!" Kara's shout cuts through the stillness of the apartment before dropping to a whisper. "I just want you. But you don't want the same thing. And that's okay."

"Kara -"

"No it is, I just - I have to go. There's robbery on 56th."

Lena blinks, and Kara has transformed into Supergirl in front of her.

She wants to say something, anything to make Kara stay, but the words won't come and Kara is halfway out the window.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow, boss."

She isn't sure how long she sits there, waiting on Kara to come back.

It's long enough that she replays the feeling of Kara's lips on hers about a thousand times.

Long enough that the tear tracks dry on her cheeks.

Long enough that she abandons her shoes and purse in favor of crawling onto Kara's couch and burying herself under the throw that smells like home, like Kara.

Long enough that she begins to wonder if Kara is still fighting crime or if she's alone with her thoughts.

Long enough that by the time Kara finally comes in - well after midnight - Lena is asleep .

She doesn't hear Kara come in and take off her boots; or see Kara watching her for a long moment before sighing and making her way toward the couch. She doesn't even stir until the couch dips behind her. Kara's weight shifting as she rearranges the blanket over the both of them.

"Kar?"

"Shh, go back to sleep."

"No," she mumbles, turning in Kara's arms. "We need to talk. You wanted to talk."

""It's okay. We're fine. I promise." Kara's hand is on her hip and she's just so warm that she struggles to stay awake.

"We're not, though."

"Lee-"

"No, let me say something." She pushes against Kara's chest until she can lift her chin and meet blue eyes. "You know I'm a Luthor, right?"

Kara nods, but Lena can see the confusion on her face.

"And you know that I have a guilt complex and that people try to kill me on a regular basis?"

Another nod.

"And you still think getting into a relationship with me is a good idea?"

Realization dawns, and Kara nods again, her grip tightening on Lena's waist.

"I think it's a great idea."

"Okay." She lets her head drop onto Kara's shoulder, snuggling closer.

"Okay?"

"I'm sorry I was an idiot."

Kara's fingers dance along her back for a moment before asking -

"So the next time Sam asks . . ."

"I'm going to tell her about how my girlfriend is an up and coming reporter for CatCo magazine who moonlights as a superhero;" She can't stop the grin that stretches her cheeks. "and that she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She's smart, and kind, and funny - "

"We're girlfriend now?"

"Mmm." she nuzzles her face into Kara's hair. "That depends, do girlfriends still get pancakes?"

"Girlfriends get vegan banana pancakes."

"Then we're definitely girlfriends."

Kara's arms tighten around her and her eyes drift close.

"Did I mention I'm sorry for being an idiot?"

"Sleep, you can make it up to me later." She feels Kara's lips press against her forehead, and she finally lets herself succumb to sleep.

For the first time in a long time - she dreams of a happy ending.