Gray begged Juvia not to go alone; he begged her to wait a day so he could go with her, so they could watch each other's backs. He went as far as to ask Erza or Lucy to accompany her, but his Juvia was nothing if not headstrong. She was determined to do the mission alone, to raise the money for her wedding dress all by herself, and she promised him this was the last mission with the highest reward she would do before they were to be wed in a month. It was also the most dangerous, and although Gray was well aware she could handle herself, something about the job and the timing gave him a sickening feeling, and he was terrified of losing her.

Right before the water mage left, she'd smiled up at him and taken his hand. Juvia always blushed around him, that hadn't changed in all the time they'd known each other, in all the time they'd been together. Gray remembered bringing his hand to her cheek and his lips to her forehead, asking her silently to stay safe and come home to him. Juvia had told him she'd be back in five days, and once she returned, she wouldn't go on another mission without him.

He told her he loved her. She blushed and told him she knew.

He watched her leave; the days crept on.

On day six following her departure, the day after she was set to return, Gray was anxious. Lucy and Erza did their best to quell his worries, asked him to have faith in Juvia's skills, but there was only so much they could assure him of. Natsu tried several times a day to fight Gray, trying in his own little way to keep the ice mage from dwelling too much on the missing Juvia. The days kept slipping away without any contact, and by the eighth day, the others started worrying too.

Gray burst into the guild hall the morning of the tenth day, a look of shaken determination on his face. Erza spotted him first, her body moving to meet him on his way to wherever he was going.

"Gray," her voice cut the air around him, but he didn't falter. "Gray, what are you doing?"

Erza followed him as he made his way to Makarov, discarding his shirt somewhere along the way. "Master!" Gray's voice was louder than he'd intended, but he didn't seem to care, nor did he seem to notice Erza's hand that came to rest on his shoulder. Makarov sighed from where he sat on the bar, and Mirajane looked on behind him. Before Gray had the chance to yell again, Master produced a job flyer and pressed it into the ice mage's chest.

"Go," Makarov told him, his voice much softer than usual. "But don't go alone. Take the rest of Team Natsu and go find your Juvia."

Gray looked down at the flier, feeling his whole body get heavier as he read. He nodded his thanks at the Master, before turning and running out of the guild hall. Erza was quick to gather the remaining members of Team Natsu, trying to keep up with the hurried man.

The team took to the small village where the mission was supposed to be. They found it deserted. Gray hardly spoke, and the team tried their best not to push him, but after two days of their search with no sign of the water mage anywhere, they had to force him to eat.

"You need your strength," Erza reasoned, pushing a plate in front of him. Gray was unresponsive. Juvia was gone, his body was tired, and time moved slowly during their search. At night, he would fidget and toss and turn, mumbling her name over and over again. Erza watched over him every day.

His dreams were nightmares fueled by the fear of never seeing Juvia again, the fear of what she might be going through. He watched helplessly from his place strapped to a chair as she was abused, beaten, and tortured, and she screamed his name. Juvia screamed his name so loud, and his heart shattered each time.

On the fourth day of searching, they found Juvia's hat. Although the team expected their discovery to reenergize Gray and give him new hope, it did the exact opposite; the ice mage let out one mournful noise as he took the blue fabric into his hands, and then he fell silent, any tiny bit of communication completely shut down. They wouldn't hear him speak for three more days.

On the seventh day of searching, Gray suddenly fell to his knees, his body quaking. Natsu, who was closest to the ice mage at the time, felt his body react protectively, running toward him and and kneeling in front of him. "Natsu," Gray's voice was desperate, his stomach turning as he looked up at his teammate. "Natsu, today was supposed to be her last fitting..."

The dragon slayer's eyes widened; Juvia's dress. The wedding was fast approaching and the outlook for her return was getting darker and darker. Gray's body shook as he moved, turning slightly as he began retching in the grass. The rest of the team had reached them by now, and Wendy almost immediately placed her hands on Gray's back, trying to take away the sickness in his body. But the ice mage just kept going, a cold sweat breaking all over his chest as the idea of his Juvia being permanently gone inched closer to reality.

On the ninth day, the team forced Gray to come home. It had been almost three whole weeks since Juvia left, and they were no closer to finding her now than they were in the beginning. Upon entering the guild hall, Gray's hollow body got heavier, and the usual buzz was gone from the vast room, leaving instead a thick, ringing silence. The rest of Team Natsu felt defeated, unable to protect not only Juvia, but Gray as well.

What should have been a bustling and busy hall as they prepared for the wedding was diluted to sorrow and worry. The decorations that should have adorned the stone walls and wooden supports had been torn down. Levy was glued to Gajeel's side, waiting to comfort the iron dragon slayer in case of a breakdown. Mira couldn't stop cleaning the same glasses over and over again. Cana had been sober since the day Team Natsu had departed in search of Gray's mate. Elfman held Lisanna's hand in support. Romeo sat silently next to his father. Even little Asuka sat between her mother and father, tears welling in her big eyes. The whole guild was in shambles, and Makarov could do little to assure them of Juvia's future.

Gray's usually calm and collected exterior was gone, giving way to an emotional and broken man. His Juvia was gone, and with their supposed wedding date only a little over a week away, he felt tormented and lost. Everyone gave him space, except the rest of his team, who was never too far away from him. Makarov sent out another search party in the meantime, but he sent Gray home, charging the rest of Team Natsu in making sure he got showered and a decent amount of sleep.

Sickeningly enough, the weather was beautiful; the sun shone down and cut the cold air, creating an unusually pleasant temperature for a Magnolia winter. The skies were pure blue, without a cloud in sight.

In all the time of searching for his Juvia, Gray hadn't once cried. But the sight of the perfectly clear blue sky, the sky that Juvia so loved to see, broke him.

Gray cried.

In his time of weakness, Gray let his team take care of him. Lucy opened her home to all of them, and after a borderline scalding shower, Gray put on not only his usual t-shirt and jeans, but a hoodie and two pairs of socks. Wendy, who had never seen him in so many clothes, asked him why he had so much on.

Despite the circumstances, Gray tried really hard to still be good for Wendy. He'd always felt this odd protectiveness over her that he could only describe as big brotherly. Although he couldn't muster a smile, he placed his hand on her head and sighed as he ruffled her long blue hair, mumbling some response vague response about being cold.

Those were the first words he'd said in days, and Natsu and Erza found them incredibly alarming. Gray was never cold; it was against his nature. Wendy and Lucy shared a worried look as Erza guided Gray to Lucy's bed, forcing him to lay down and try to rest. Natsu never expected him to fall asleep, but to the dragon slayer's surprise, Gray fell right into an uneasy slumber, and although he knew the nightmares would come soon, for now it was as peaceful a sleep as Gray was going to get.

Wendy moved to Gray's side, placing her hand on his shoulder as a blue light began emitting from her palm. She'd been doing this for a few days now, trying to keep up his energy and magic power while also trying to settle his inner turmoil. Erza firmly believed these treatments during his sleep were the only reason he'd managed to stay together this long, and it made Wendy feel better knowing she could do even the smallest something to ease his pain.

Lucy, Natsu, and Erza left again the next day in search of Juvia, leaving the ice mage in Wendy's capable hands. Happy and Charla stayed behind as well, doing whatever they could to assist the sky dragon slayer in caring for Gray. Gray wanted to go, but after being told by Erza that having to care for him would slow them down, he resigned, knowing she was right. Wendy made tea and cooked small meals, which Gray would eat, and then promptly throw up hours later. It was hard for him to keep anything down when he felt so hollow, when he felt like his whole world had been ripped away from him.

Wendy somehow got him to shower once a day, and although Gray wouldn't say it out loud, the sky dragon slayer knew it was the only place he could cry in private. She could hear his soft sobs through the door to Lucy's bathroom, and it was hard to hear a man so strong break down. Gray would sit in the tub while the nearly boiling water ran down his back, torturing himself with 'what ifs' and the image of her waving goodbye to him in the last moments he saw her. Gray kept thinking back to the time before he'd allowed himself the pleasure of loving her, and all the wasted time he could have spent making her happy.

Gray let out a mournful moan at the sudden realization that he may never hear his Juvia call him 'Gray-sama' again.

The water had long grown cold by the time he managed to make himself get out of the shower. How many days had it been? Everything seemed to blur past him in long showers and half-finished cups of tea. The taste of bile seemed permanently at the back of his tongue, despite how hard he tried to scrub it out. Did he sleep? When was the last time he slept? The silver lights against the dark sky told him it was late as he moved from the bathroom, and the softly snoring dragon slayer on Lucy's couch told him he'd been in the shower for a long time. Gray padded quietly over to where Wendy and the exceeds slept, tucking a small blanket across her shoulders. Guilt washed over him; Wendy had been doing her best to comfort him, to make sure he stayed alive, and he hadn't made it easy.

Gray moved slowly to Lucy's bed, tugging his hoodie further down around his waist. Everything hurt as he crawled close to the window, curling into himself as his eyes wandered up to the clear sky. He wondered briefly if she was seeing the same sky he was.

Gray scoffed, realizing how soft and corny that sounded, before feeling his body become rigid at the idea that she would never see the sky again. Gray stifled a sob.

"Gray?"

The ice mage composed himself quickly, wiping his hand over his face before looking over at Wendy. The blue haired girl rubbed her eyes sleepily as her gaze landed on Gray, and he did his best to appear neutral. Wendy frowned.

"You don't have to act like that," she spoke softly, standing slowly and making her way over to where he sat. "No one will think any less of you."

Gray felt his emotions battle for control, but he did his best to suppress them. "Sorry," his voice broke, having not been used properly in weeks. "Just not used to being so..."

Gray trailed off, trying to come up with a word that accurately described his predicament. "Lost," he decided, quietly. He didn't know what exactly made him, but he suddenly wanted to talk; and Wendy was an eager ear.

"My fiancé is gone," Gray spoke, holding back tears as hard as he could. "I'm helpless, and I'm not used to being helpless. I'm supposed to be calm and collected; I'm supposed to be frigid. This is all completely new territory for me."

Wendy tilted her head, showing she was still listening.

"I miss her," he continued. "I never thought a person could mean so much to me. Juvia is..." he paused, his emotions overwhelming him. "Gods, I can't stop thinking about what could have happened to her. My Juvia could be alive and being tortured or she could be d-"

Wendy put her hand out, setting it on Gray's arm. "Gray," she spoke, a blue light suddenly bathing the room. "You don't know that."

Whatever Wendy was doing, it kept him stable enough to continue. "Even if Natsu finds her," he spoke. "Even if they manage to rescue her, I won't be there. I won't be there to rescue her, because I'm not strong enough. I'm so different now, I used to be able to turn all my feelings off and just fight; but without Juvia, I can barely stand..."

Wendy sighed. "You're definitely different," she told him, shrugging slightly. "You're not the same cold, grumpy, aloof Gray I met when I joined Fairy Tail. But," Wendy smiled. "I like this Gray much better. This is a Gray I can look up to, a Gray who has learned to love with all his heart and soul, a Gray who makes Juvia the happiest woman in the world. I promise you, Team Natsu will find Juvia, and you'd better be ready to marry her as soon as she comes home."

Gray felt himself suddenly get smaller; the wedding. All the days suddenly clicked together in his head. It was tomorrow. They were supposed to be wed tomorrow.

"Oh gods..." all the energy drained from his body in one swift wave. Wendy realized suddenly, taking in a sharp breath.

"I've gotta go find her," Gray made to jump from the bed, but somewhere his legs gave out, landing face first on the floor. "Shit," he hissed, his body shaking. He was so weak. Had he eaten? When was the last time he'd eaten? He suddenly wanted to kick his own ass for not taking better care of himself.

"Gray!" Wendy dropped to her knees beside him, trying her best to soothe his quaking body with her magic. "Gray, you aren't in the best shape. You need to rest."

He couldn't stop shaking. "Wendy, I'm..."

As much as her little body could, she helped Gray to his feet, shifting him to sit on the bed. He felt powerless to save the love of his life, and he felt a familiar calling back to his childhood, first when his parents died, then when Ur sacrificed herself to seal away his darkness. He was crying before he could process what happened, the more recent memory of Ultear's sacrifice drifting forward. He was powerless to stop any of it, and the loss of Juvia was no different.

Wendy, ever the diligent and caring young wizard she was, used as much magic as she could to get Gray to sleep. Carla had woken up in all the commotion and warned her against using all her magic, but Wendy was determined to help, despite knowing the challenge it was to heal a self destructing body. Eventually though, she succeeded; Gray laid in an uneasy sleep by the time the sun rose, and the sky dragon slayer collapsed in her exhaustion...

She was awoken later by the sound of a click at the door.

Gray felt slightly warm as he felt a hand touch his clothed chest. A tiny voice whispered in his ear.

"Gray-sama," it was her voice. Gods, he missed her, missed hearing her say his name. His dreams made her feel so close, and as he slipped closer to consciousness, he was afraid she would go.

"Gray-sama." It was hauntingly beautiful and painfully near his ear. Gray just wanted to hold her again; he was beginning to fear he never would.

He could see her now, so tauntingly real, floating above him like an angel sent to bring him home. Somewhere, distantly, he could hear the rain. His Juvia was beautiful, and although he knew she loved to see the sun, the sound of the rain had always brought him great comfort.

"Gray-sama!"

Gray felt something wet hit his face... tears? Juvia was crying. Another tear, a hand pressing over his guildmark.

"Juvia...?"

Her name reverberated deep within his throat. "You're not real," Gray murmured, not wanting his mind to run away with itself. "Even in my dreams it hurts to see you cry."

The rain became clearer in his ear as Juvia bit her lip. Gray felt tears of his own well up while his hands found her hips. He felt her. He could feel her. She was right there, above him, crying and smiling and leaning closer.

"Juvia is home."

With a start, Gray sat bolt upright, colliding with the body he was so sure was a dream. She was there. Juvia was right in front of him, leaning into his chest, letting out tiny sobs as her hands came to rest on his shoulders. Gray grabbed her close, taking a deep breath; she smelled like fresh rain and spring and thunderstorms and the woman he loved so fucking much.

"Juvia," Gray's body caved in around hers as her name passed his lips. She was real; she was home.

For the first time, he looked up around the room. Team Natsu stood, looking exhausted but satisfied as they watched Gray hold his Juvia. "Where?" his voice was desperate and scratchy in the back of his throat. Erza just shook her head, giving him the softest smile.

"Unimportant," the red head told him. "At least for now. Just hold her, Gray. She's home."

So he did. Gray shed the hoodie and his shirt in a swift movement, pulling Juvia back to look down at her face. He took a moment to inspect her; she wasn't in great shape, bruises adorning her body and wounds of different depths and severities peeking out around clothes that were tattered and dirty, but she was alive. She was alive and safe and home in his arms and he kissed her, contemplating the idea of never letting her go.

"I love you," Gray whispered breathlessly, pulling away from her mouth to press a kiss to her forehead. Tears began flowing down his cheeks, and he didn't care who saw. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Juvia held tightly to her Gray as they rocked back and forth. This is what safety feels like, she reminded herself.

This is what it felt like to be welcomed home.

... x

I have a small part two if you're interested...