"LET GO OF ME, YOU FIENDS!" Hogtied and hopping on the floor amidst the unconscious forms of many a Chibi Garfakcy, was the Dragon Lord Lykouleon. He was not happy. Which means he was mad. Which means…well, uhm…he wasn't happy but he was mad. Yeah.
"It's for your own good, Your Highness!" Alfeegi replied matter of factually. Ruwalk and Kaistern nodded in agreement. Tetheus would have nodded in agreement as well, but as he had no soul, he didn't.
"So how did you defeat these Wai Garfakcys, anyways?" Kaistern asked, poking one curiously.
"Ish Chiibi Garfakshies!" Lykouleon shouted as he began to gnaw through the magical paperclip chain that bound him.
"Actually, it was thanks to Kharl that we defeated them…" Rune replied, blinking as he watched Kaistern prod the chibi. Green eyes flashing open madly, the chibi quickly awakened and latched onto the Secretary of Blue with razor sharp chibi teeth.
"AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!" Kaistern screaming, flailing as he ran in circles, desperately trying to detach the fiendish chibi from his hand. "IT'S GONNA EAT ME ALIVE! AHHHH! AHHH!"
Meanwhile, oblivious (as usual) to the events occurring and running in circles around him, Kharl had taken this one precious moment to untie his little servant boy, therefore freeing him from the clutches of the megalomaniacal chibis. Which means he was no longer their prisoner. Which means that he was free. Which means…
Suddenly, the narration was cut off as a brick skillfully sailed through the air, tossed by none other than the dissevered head of the youkai lord, Nadil. Uhm, not quite sure how that could happen but it did because I said so, and, in a rage he hopped up to the Author Goddess Kokoro Person, anger flaming in his eyes.
"YOU FOOL OF A TOOK!" he cried, having assured himself it was an original line. "You and your stupid tangents!" Hopping mad (Ha, ha, get it HOPPING?! He's a severed head, it's all he can do! Ha, ha, ha, I crack myself up sometimes…), he proceeded to PMS at the poor, writer's blocked author. "We get the point that that stupid Garfakcy is free! Now get on with the story before I have to…curse you or something!"
Silently obeying the wrath of the hopping head of Nadil, the Author Goddess Kokoro Person returned to her keyboard of DOOM. And so the story commenced.
"Garfakcy, snuggle bunny!" Kharl cried, throwing his arms around the dazed human and giving him a glomp worthy of a fangirl.
"ACK! Kharl-sama!" Garfakcy gasped, his face turning all sorts of fun shades of blue. "I…I told you never to call me that in public!"
"BUT I'M SO HAPPY YOU WEREN'T ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!" Kharl released Garfakcy for a fleeting moment (which the human took to breathe and breathe deeply) to wipe tears of happiness from his violet eyes. "I want this moment to last…forever!"
Garfakcy sighed, or at least he would have before he was once more glomped by the Renkin wizard.
Unfortunately for Kharl, and fortunately for Garfakcy's lungs, forever's time ran out in five minutes, when the happy couple was interrupted by the Dragon Secretary of White, Alfeegi. Behind him stood Ruwalk, Tetheus, and the Dragon Knights (because I'm too lazy to type out Rath, Thatz, and Rune…oh wait…). Behind him flailed Kaistern, who was now beating the villainous chibi with a large book stolen from the castle library entitled '101 Reasons Not to Beat a Chibi Garfakcy With a Book.' Behind him gnawed the Dragon Lord Lykouleon, intent on freeing himself from the magical paper clips of induced sanity that he had been bound with.
"Youkai Alchemist, Kharl…" Alfeegi began, but not before he was interrupted.
"Really? Where?' Kharl blinked, righting himself.
"I was talking to you…" Alfeegi sighed as a Dragon Fighter randomly waltzed by and held up a cardboard sweat drop.
"Oh yeah, huh?" Kharl grinned moronically. The Voice in His Pants sighed and would have slapped himself, were he not just a mere voice in an idiot scientist's pants.
"Yes, you're Kharl, the youkai alchemist…now, please do tell us, how did you manage to defeat these…" The Chief Secretary paused for a moment as he quickly referenced the Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms. "Chibi Garfakcys."
"Oh, that was easy!" Kharl smiled, holding up his index finger in an attempt to appear intelligent and matter of factual. "I….I…"
"You sprayed them with Windex, Kharl-sama…" Garfakcy reminded him, holding up a copy of the last chapter. "Because, and I quote 'there's nothing Windex couldn't solve.'"
"Oh, yes, of course, thank-you, Garfakcy," Kharl grinned, petting the human on his multi-colored head. "I sprayed them with Windex!"
"AHHH!! AHHH!! AHHHHH!!!!" Meanwhile, Kaistern continued to flail and beat the Chibi Garfakcy, completely unaware that within the pages of the book he was now using as a weapon were the words 'one should never beat a Chibi Garfakcy with a book unless one wants a visit from the elf of utter randomness.'
And so dark, ominous clouds began to form behind the Dragon Officer of Blue, and from these dark ominous clouds swirled the form of ELLABEL, the elf of utter randomness. And in her divine and utter randomness, she proceeded to take a roll of magical duct tape with little swirly designs on it and tape the shocked Kaistern to the castle wall.
"YOU DON'T BEAT THEM CHIBIS YOU FOO!" she cried, before laughing maniacally and jumping onto her squeaky tricycle of utter randomness and pedaling sinisterly away in a swirl of dark, ominous clouds (adjectives make me feel smart!). And thusly, a Dragon Fighter (because they're cute and they make good lackeys) approached Kaistern cautiously, and sprayed the Chibi Garfakcy with Windex. And it was good.
"We thank you for your valiant efforts," Alfeegi smiled and bowed politely. "Which is why you can clean up these chibis and get the hell out of here, you idiot alchemist."
"OH GOODY!" Kharl exclaimed, jumping up and down and clapping his hands together for the second time in this idiotic fanfiction. Garfakcy sighed and from his pants summoned forth a broom and an economy chibi-sized dustpan.
"Kharl-sama…I get the feeling we're going to be here for a little while…" he sighed, watching with much dislike as the Dragon that he disliked so very very much approaching Kaistern. Then, using the very scientific and well-known principle of the light and dark sides of duct tape, (which states if you persuade the duct tape to be good and not so evil instead of not good and completely utterly evil, it's light sticky side will flip outwards, therefore freeing the victim of the duct tape's sticky goodness) to free the Secretary of Foreign Affairs. Or whatever Tokyo Pop decided to call him in the last volume they translated.
"Really, we're only going to be here for a little while?" Kharl asked, quite thoroughly happied. "I thought we might be cleaning up for a while, actually, seeing as there are 42 million of these cute little chibis and they're all strewn over the palace grounds…"
Garfakcy simply sighed, shook his head, and began sweeping up chibis.
"Which reminds me, how come nothing's happened to me yet? I thought that nancy Dragon Lord had a spell cast over the palace grounds that keep youkai out."
And would you look at that! Just as Kharl finished his sentence, his head spontaneously ignited. And the flames were all pretty flamey colors, like red and orange and yellow, and even blue and white in places. Of course, everything started to smell kind of funny, because his hair was being singed and all….but anyways….
"AHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!!" Kharl screamed. "HELP! MY HEAD'S ON FIRE! AHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!! SOMEONE PUT MY HEAD OUT! AHHHHHH!!!!!"
One week later Kharl and Garfakcy sat out on the porch of Kharl's big stone castle in Arinas, quite comfortable in neon colored chaise lounges (you know, those funny chairs you can lay on at the pool or beach, and you can adjust how far they lean, but when you try to they snap and you get all folded up inside…), sipping lemonade, magical sunglasses donned.
Of course Kharl's head was no longer on fire. Garfakcy had attempted to douse it with Windex, but seeing as Windex was ever so flammable, it kind of only made things worse. So they had to resort to using regular, old fashioned, old school water. Well, as I was saying, his head was kind of back to normal, it not being on fire any longer. Kharl had taken the liberty of healing the damage with fun magic. Because no one wants to see a barbequed, partially bald Renkin wizard. That might scare some fangirls away.
"So Kharl-sama…" Garfakcy turned to his Master. "What DID you do with those chibis anyways?"
Kharl blinked as he slowly allowed the information to process. You see Kharl's head is like a dial-up 56k connection. More reliable than cable or DSL, but rather slow as well…but anyways…
"Oh!" Kharl finally replied, twenty minutes later. "I think I sent them through this interdimensioanl gateway to some place called…er, I believe it was…Urth?"
"Urth?" Garfakcy blinked. "Never heard of it."
Meanwhile on Urth…er, I mean, Earth… "WORLD DOMINATION!" was the cry that echoed throughout the lands. Chibi Garfakcy stampeded freely over the plains. Fear and anarchy reigned alongside 42 million crazed, megalomaniacal chibis that had two word vocabularies. Cities lay in ruin, people lay dead and partially devoured in the streets…did I mention fear and anarchy reigned? Oh yeah, I think I did…
Well anyways, chibi Garfakcys ruled the world. People lived in fear, not knowing whether they would live to see another day, constantly fearing the destruction the stampede of strange, demented little tricolored chibis brought. And so they ruled. And they devoured Osama Bin Laden and the rest of his Al Quesa terrorist group or whatever they call themselves and Saddam Hussein, and even President George Dubuya Bush. And Osama Bin Laden and the silly Al Qaeda terrorists, and Saddam Hussein, and Dubuya were forced to share the same collective chibi stomachs in semi-digested form for all of eternity and a half, which was probably not much longer than an hour or so, seeing as them chibi digestive juices can be pretty vicious.
But the fangirls were happy, for chibi Garfakcys ruled the world. And it was good.
**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Thanks goes out to Ellabel (the elf of utter randomness) and Hiso-chan for nagging me to finish this last chapter! *bows* I really appreciate your harassing me! XDD Oh yes, and credit goes to Ellabel for introducing me to the wonderful principal of the light and dark sides of duct tape!