Thus it ends. No, I'm never adding to this ever again. LET IT DIE.

Jason woke up naked and alone on a cot, covered only by a thin sheet. "What the fuck!" he said, bolting upright. The room spun around him and he pressed a hand to his forehead. Batcave, something whispered, and yeah, he was not ok with that.

"Shit." He hopped out of bed, staggering drunkenly, and looked around for both clothing and an escape. While his relationship to the Batclan had settled into something approximating neutrality, he still didn't trust them not to throw him into Arkham first chance they got. Luckily, there was a pile of folded-up clothing on the chair by the cot. "Thanks, Alfie," he muttered as he yanked the shirt over his head.

Fully dressed (though without shoes) he flicked the lights off, carefully eased the door open a sliver, and looked out with one eye. The Batcave was silent, and he couldn't see anyone. He eased the door further open with agonizing slowness and stepped out into the open.

"Jay!"

Jason screamed and bolted.

"Wait, Jason!" Dick shouted, running after him, but Jason had the fear of God in him. He parkour'd to the nearest motorbike in record time and vaulted onto it. The tires squealed against the cave floor for a moment, then he shot off, pressed low against the handlebars. He didn't remember to breathe until he was far, far away from his nightmare 'family.'

Unfortunately, he forgot that Dick had his phone number.

A long chain of texts was waiting for him when he entered the safehouse (walking gingerly around on his bare feet):

Jason wait D:

Jason

Jason, it's cool we're not to do anything

Do you remember what happened?

Jay, you missed so much lmao

Someone turned you into a toddler

You were so cute ;_;

[Jason_Peekaboo video]

[Jay_Foodfight video]

[Grandpa pic]

[Jay_ Bruce pic]

[MOMMY_ DIANA video]

[Jaybee pic]

[Daddybats video]

Jay watch the videos

Jaaaaaayy

I will hunt you down and sit on you until you watch them.

Jason

Jason Peter Todd, answer me

Jason

Jay?

Jason are you alright?

Jason's horror grew with each photo he opened. He ended up slumped on the rickety old cot, watching in mute horror as a tiny version of himself played tag with Wonder Woman—calling her 'mama' all the while.

"Oh god," he whispered. "Oh god, I can never show my face ever again. I've gotta… I've gotta…" The embarrassment was so overwhelming he felt like his heart might stop. "Ok, play it cool, Todd," he told himself, getting up and agitatedly pacing the floor. "Just… lay low for a while, yeah! They won't even remember this after like… a few… decades."

He paused.

"WELP, not like there's a better option!" he said, crushing the phone in his bare hand so that they couldn't use it to track him.

Within an hour, he was on a plane to Honduras.

None of the Bats saw Jason again for over a year, and even then they quickly learned that mentioning "The Incident" would only earn them a hard punch and radio silence for a week or more.

(And if a certain lady superhero quietly reconnected with him, and if they happened to rekindle their old friendship, well… no one was going to say anything.)

(And if Jason started coming to visit Alfred more often, or if he stopped being openly antagonistic toward Batman... no one was going to say anything about that either.)