Here is the first chapter to one of the giveaway prizes from last year. This is going to be an interesting fic, filled with a number of headcanons. It's... probably not going to have a happy ending. I anticipate about 5 chapters total for this.

Dedicated to tammyscythe – I hope you enjoy your prize.

I highly recommend "Dynasty" by MIIA for mood music.

Heaving a sigh, Lucy pushed back from her desk, chair wheels squeaking on the plastic floor cover. Rubbing her eyes, she let out a yawn. "That's it!" she stated. "I'm done for the day! No more!"

Behind her, at his own desk, her supervisor laughed. "Calling it a night?"

"Yeah. Couldn't write another word if I tried." Lucy stretched, her joints creaking as if she were eighty instead of eighteen. For good measure, she flexed her hands and wrists. Soreness had long since set into them, and it was a relief to put down her pen at last.

Without looking up from his own work, Jason passed her a ceramic mug. "Mind filling this up before you head out?"

"Sure thing." Plucking the mug from Jason's fingers, Lucy grabbed her own mug and stood up. A short walk, and she was at the break room in Sorcerer Weekly's headquarters. After she placed her mug in the dishwasher, she eyed the brown sludge that remained in the coffee pot. Long since cold, the grounds had congealed and were starting to smell funny. The liquid didn't seem much better.

"Getting you tea instead!" she called out across the empty bullpen, sticking her head around the corner of the breakroom door. "The coffee's no good!"

A thumbs up was raised above the partition in acknowledgement.

Lucy gave the cup a quick rinse, then dropped a tea bag in, and poured hot water from the water dispenser on top of it. While it steeped on the counter, she popped lid off the coffeepot, removing the filter and grounds and tossing them in the trash. Thankfully the building cleaners hadn't arrived yet. One quick scrub later and it was back where it belonged.

Removing the tea bag, she dumped two packets of sugar in. Jason would need the extra boost, and after two weeks of working with him, Lucy had come to notice that he had a sweet tooth that could almost put Erza's to shame.

The thought of her redheaded friend sent a pang of loneliness through her chest.

But Lucy ignored it, grabbing the mug and walking back to her desk.

"Thanks, you're the coolest." Jason finally looked up from his article-in-progress, and watched as Lucy gathered her coat and keys. "Finally getting used to the odd hours?"

Lucy smiled wearily at him. "I always kinda kept weird hours, so the adjustment was pretty easy."

"That's good! When do you think you'll have the research ready for that report on Boscan mage guilds ready for me?"

"Hmm... tomorrow afternoon, if I really crack down on it."

Jason beamed. "Cool! That'll be perfect. See you tomorrow, and take care on your way home!"

"I will. Bye, Jason."

Leaving the office, Lucy stopped at looked at the sky overhead. It was almost completely dark out, and Crocus's streetlights blazed against the night sky - too bright for her to see any stars.

Her footsteps dragged as she made her way to the train station. It wasn't too far from the office, which was nice, she mused. So were the bento lunches sold in the kiosk by the platforms. Lucy purchased one, before hopping on her train to Magnolia. She ate it silently as the train pulled away from the platform.

The scenery began to flow into the night, a formless blur as the train picked up speed. If she were being honest, the food tasted much the same. Lucy couldn't remember the last time food had excited her. She patted her stomach. She'd lost some weight recently, with her appetite mostly gone.

Three weeks ago, that thought would have made her happy. But for some reason, she couldn't seem to stir herself to the emotion.

She threw away her bento box, only half eaten.

Lucy stared out the window, her gaze unfocused and unseeing, even if there was some way she could see the world outside the train. She yawned widely - the steady thrum of the moving vehicle lulling her into drowsiness. With a shake of her head, Lucy held back another yawn. She wished Crocus wasn't so far from Magnolia - the three hour-long commute each way was brutal.

Maybe it was time for her to look for an apartment close to the office.

Maybe it was time to accept the fact that there was no one she loved still in Magnolia.

Maybe it was time she stopped waiting for people who weren't coming back.

"Now pulling into Magnolia Station."

Lucy jolted in her seat at the announcement, having dozed off despite her best efforts at staying awake. She gathered her things in a hurry, just barely ready to go by the time the train doors opened with a hiss.

Magnolia was quiet this time of night, and the streets were mostly empty. Light and sound still spilled out of the taverns, but they were the only source of life along Lucy's route home. Her feet thudded on the pavement, carrying her swiftly past the pools on light that spilled out the doorways. The sounds grated on her, and her head spun. Focusing on the ground, Lucy picked up her pace a little more, nausea swimming inside her. Soon the sounds of the taverns were behind her, as she entered the residential district and turned onto her street.

Once in front of her apartment, she reached for her key. Her fingertips brushed against the cool metal of her keyring, and Lucy found herself fighting against another wave of nausea. She gagged, and furiously fumbled keys in her hands, hands shaking as she found her apartment key and tried to get it into the lock. Missing twice, she got it into the keyhole on the third try. Pushing the door open, she rushed into her apartment, and to the toilet where she vomited what little she'd managed to eat.

She knelt on the cool tile, hands clutching the porcelain and breathing heavily.

"Princess," a soft voice called behind her.

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut, steadfastly ignored her concerned spirit.

"Princess. I have prepared a fresh change of clothes for you, along with a hot towel and a glass of water to cleanse your mouth."

"Virgo," Lucy whispered hoarsely, unable to raise her voice any higher. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome. However, I believe you are suffering from acute exhaustion, and that you should take the day off tomorrow to recuperate."

"I can't. I have a report to hand in." Gratefully, Lucy took the water from her spirit. She held the water in her mouth without swallowing, swirling it around and then spitting it out into the toilet. Then she took the towel, wiping her face as she flushed the vomit away. "I promised. I can't… I can't break anymore promises, Virgo." Her voice cracked. "I can't!"

The spirit sat down beside her, and held her while she cried. "You didn't, Lucy," she consoled, gently rubbing Lucy's back. "You didn't break any promises to Aquarius."

"I did! She was my spirit! I… I sacrificed her, Virgo! What kind of…" She hiccupped. "What kind of celestial wizard does that?"

"You had no choice; Aquarius made the decision. You didn't betray anyone. Not us. Not her. Letting your friends die would have been the betrayal, and thanks to you it didn't happen."

A wail warbled out of Lucy's throat, as broken as her heart. "Then why are they still gone?!"

Virgo had no answer for that. She continued to hold Lucy, until she cried herself out and fell asleep in the spirit's arms. Once she had, she changed her clothes, then picked her up and tucked her into bed.

Lucy watched herself struggle against the demons. She shouted, and sobbed as Aquarius vanished in a shower of golden light. Pounded at the walls of the invisible bubble from which she observed, screaming for Aquarius to come back, to rewind time, for anything that could return here friend to her.

But just as before the spirit was gone, and there was nothing Lucy could do about it.

Her eyes streamed with tears, as she watched her friends fight for their lives against Tartaros. Trembled, when she felt the boneshaking roar echoing in the dark sky. Wings of darkness filled the sky, and suddenly she was no longer watching him combat the red dragon, but staring down its maw as it consumed Tenrou. She was paralyzed with fear, her legs unable to move and the bubble that prevented her from helping her friends no detriment to the dragon's wrath.

Then the red dragon fell from the sky, a gaping hole in its midsection.

Lucy screamed and cried for Igneel, but mostly for Natsu. His father falling, dying.

Nothing Lucy could do to stop it.

Her arms were covered in blood, as a man laughed over her death. Palace tile merging with the rubble left in Tartaros's wake, her own corpse lying broken on top of it.

When Lucy was jolted violently from sleep, she promptly turned over and grabbed a bowl lying on the floor beside her bed, then vomited into it.

It wasn't long before Virgo appeared. She gently wiped Lucy's face with another hot towel, and removed the bowl for cleaning. "I will let your work know that you're not coming in today," the spirit told her softly. To which Lucy could only nod weakly in agreement.

Everything was gone. Everything she loved, vanished like water droplets thrown at a fire, evaporated to nothing.

Her mother, her father, Aquarius, the guild, her friends. Gone.

Natsu.

It was as if the black dragon had blasted a hole through her, as well. A void through which her friends had fallen.

Everything was that dragon's fault. It had prevented her from having a relationship with her father, from being there when he died. It had led to Future Rogue destroying the future with his own hands, and trying to eliminate any chance of hers. It had brought down Igneel, whom Natsu had searched for, for so long.

"Princess," Virgo announced, returning to Lucy's side. "Your boss said to take all the time you need – he'd make do with what you left behind."

Left behind.

Lucy was rubble.

And it was all the fault of that dragon.

"Virgo." The spirit nodded in acknowledgement. "I think… I think Erza mentioned… a library. Where is it?"

"I presume you mean the Sorcery Library," she intoned. "It's not far from Magnolia. Half a day's walk. But you can't mean to go when you're in this condition, Princess."

Lucy shook her head. "I don't think I can stomach travel today." Her smile at Virgo was wobbly. "But I'm taking tomorrow off as well. Maybe… maybe more than just tomorrow."

The pink haired spirit stared long and hard at her key holder, her friend that was pushing herself too hard. "Is it too much to hope for that you'll take the time to rest?"

"I can't afford to," Lucy informed her. "That dragon is still out there, Virgo. He took everything away from me. He's terrorized this world for too long. But he must have a weakness. Somewhere. I'm going to find it, and help my friends and stop him from hurting anyone ever again."

She took a deep breath.

"I'm going to find a way to kill the black dragon, Acnologia."