AN: Well I got close, but didn't hit 50k before the end of November. I didn't plan to lose my grandmother or have several days of showing the house that took up all my time either. I still have ideas of where to go with this but it'll shift into the Update Queue I have going as I resume updating everything else. This story will also now be cross-posted on Archive of our Own. Thanks for sticking with me while I worked on it.

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Minato was quieter these days. His eyes kept searching for his team, now down by one but with a temporary replacement in a chunin who had lost their entire team. Looking for the goggle-wearing loud mouth that he had adored, almost as fun to pester as Kakashi in his own way. Every time he needed to remind himself that bright boy was gone.

It was the harsh reality of war, but that didn't mean Minato was accepting of it. Rin was doing admirably, pressing on, still eager to heal. Kakashi was struggling with his newest 'gift' from the now dead friend and the way he'd hover over Rin spoke of a death promise to the missing member. They were so young, so very young. Yet, Minato had no authority to refuse them to be there. Or any of the numerous other children that had perished since the war began. His own mentor Hiruzen had been adamant that though young they were skilled and every gennin and chunin out there helped. A cold rational part of Minato, the side that was all shinobi on a mission, agreed. But the other side of him, the one who had ruffled the brat's hair until it resembled a mess on the three of their heads and teased them with silly missions, seeing them as almost his own younger siblings?

That part hated what happened. Minato knew there were talks of his taking the role of Hokage. Clenching his fist tightly, the Yellow Flash promised himself that if such a role was given to him he would never sacrifice someone in a way he personally wasn't willing to do.

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Kakashi when he looked back on the day Team Minato was no more, couldn't even say when it all happened. Rin had been kidnapped, again, with their sensei off on a secret mission once more. It had just been a moment, and then whilst Kakashi and the others with him fought off a slew of enemy ninja Rin was taken. She wasn't much of an offensive player, not when her medical knowledge was so valuable and thus for the later battles she would often keep in the back, just in a defensive position.

Only when they were regrouping did her loss strike them as evident and nearly sent Kakashi to his knees. The last thing Obito had asked of him was to protect Rin, and he had no idea where she was. His nose rendered useless among all the blood and various bodily functions that occurred once death happened left Kakashi momentarily dazed before they picked up a trail.

Instincts were screaming something was wrong when it was so easy to track her down, get her back. Carrying her as Rin seemed to be babbling nonsense, something about she couldn't go to Konoha and needed to die were ignored. Half the time her words were completely inaudible even to his ears with her crying and logic dictated it was because she'd been tortured with genjutsu or the like. They'd done it before, after all. So his guard was down because this was Rin his teammate and he'd put her scent to the back of his mind as he had with Obito's, with Minato's, with Nori's..ones that didn't constantly trigger his awareness as he fought and moved around.

Until blood was on his face, coating his hand and arms and drowning him in the scent of Rin's swiftly collapsing life as she cooled. A terrifying sickening sensation, feeling the rapid cooling of her corpse around his hand.

Everything after that passed in a daze, he barely was aware of minor skirmishes in between, that they'd needed to do a quick immolation of Rin's body with no time to bury her but he hadn't been there for that, led away in his state of shock.

He'd killed a teammate.

Some of the Konoha shinobi tried to speak comforting words to him, only one, a tall quiet and stern-faced man whose torn sleeve showed a glimmer of the ANBU tattoo locked his gaze to his own. "It doesn't get better, you just become more accustomed to pushing the grief away." Those cold words were strangely the most comforting he'd heard and Kakashi took to following him.

There was a lot more blood and fighting, but the ANBU operative -retired? Not on duty?- only corrected him on strategy and gave him simple orders that Kakashi latched on to keep from breaking down in tears. After all, he hadn't been in charge of anyone else but Rin, and Minato wasn't there to give further orders. This ANBU, he was a higher rank and took Kakashi under his charge. No one said anything. They were working their way back towards the village and a few times there were incidents caused that made Kakashi want to ask why they were sabotaging their own supply lines but he bit his tongue. Only later would he find out said caravans had been dealing with both parties on opposing sides of the conflict.

"You know how to keep quiet, to work through what is a problem and lose yourself in duty." Came one of the rare sentences from his temporary commander. "You have potential."

Kakashi had used his new Sharingan under the man's guidance, not missing how the other's black eyes had bled red and swirled with the same symbol. Had picked up a great deal just from observation and felt no shame in using this last gift from Obito to keep himself alive. In a way, the pain and chakra drain from doing so felt like a sort of penance. For failing both his teammates.

Eventually, though Kakashi honestly had no idea of how many days later it would be, Minato came for him.

The Uchiha ANBU he had been working under took a single step forward, locking black eyes to Kakashi's own visible one. "At night it will be the worst. Do not blame yourself for anything you say or do at that time." With that ominous parting, he left.

As much as Kakashi adored Minato, and truly, the man had helped fill the void from losing Sakumo too young, Kakashi felt that the forced cheer and comfort being offered by the living genius was less what he needed than the cold and clinical way of that ANBU whose name he never knew, if not for the Sharingan, Kakashi wouldn't have even known the last name either.

All he knew right then, is he was just, so very, very, tired of war.

Kakashi was also frighteningly good at the battles that composed it.