How to Prepare for War: A How-Not-To Guide

1. Hide the children.

Ink and Error survey the village. Error shakes his head. "How many children do you have, Ink?"

"Um..."

"Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

2. Put up barriers to protect the children.

Error attempts to put up a wood stake and fails, falling on his face. Halfway across the town, Ink is doing the same thing.

Error sighs. "HOW HARD IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?"

Ink shrugs. "DUNNO. NOT THIS HARD."

3. Gather the people.

Ink had proclaimed they needed to gather the people. Naturally, he'd be in charge of the 'good guys' while Error would gather up the 'bad guys' and their assorted children.

Then they had a fight about who would gather up the 'neutral guys' and the kids that nobody cared about (Palette, Gradient, Moku, Nix...).

Eventually this got put on Error too.

It was hard to convince Dream and Cross to stp making out long enough to go the the circle of grass in the middle of town they called a meeting circle, harder to convince Nightmare and Radier to get out of the castle and help, and even harder to convince Gradient, Nix and Moku that he wasn't going to hurt them.

It wasn't quite as hard to convince his brother, Geno, to get his butt over to the meeting ground and bring Palette (his 'adopted son' who was dating his actual son) and Goth (his actual son), but it was hard to convince him to pick up Fresh on the way because NO WAY IN HELL WAS ERROR GOING NEAR HIM.

4. Hoard food and water and assign spots.

This meant picking all the food and putting it in a cellar. Geno and Nightmare took the most out of anyone, and Error managed to get himself a spot in Nightmare's castle, which basically meant he could shoot people and not get killed.

Ink, on the other hand, preferred being in the thick of things, and made that clear.

Geno and Dream got stuck on the field with Ink, Cross was put as an archer, and Nightmare and Error were the 'shoot things and don't die' people.

Then of course there was Reaper, who was the 'God who's on our side for some reason' person; Hacker and his 'adopted' (read: stolen) child, who was ACTUALLY just a different Error with healing abilites, and they were the 'healers who heal us'; Gary Stu Sans, Blueberry and Fresh, who were the 'annoy the hell out of the enemy' people; and Ice!Sans, the 'freeze them' person.

5. Rehide the children.

Error got stuck with this job, because of course he did. Naturally, he hid them all in Nightmare's castle.

When all was said and done, Radier and Palette were over in the corner playing, Gradient was moping in the corner being a depressed perfectionist, Paperjam was walking aound being an asshat as always, Lux was being a bored flame person, Blueprint was attempting to do a flip, Moku and Nix were in the corner avoiding everyone, Goth was sitting by Radier and Palette looking mopey because Palette wasn't playing with him, 3rr0r was being a bored mopey guy in the corner because nobody wanted to go near him, that Cray kid that came from nowhere and was trying to do a backroll under Lux while Lux was trying to do a backflip, and Error himself was sitting in the corner drinking alcohol and attempting to relax.

Yeah, not working.