Batfamily One-Shot
Co-writer: GreyKing46
Disclaimer: We do not own any of these characters except for our own OC's
Author's note: Happy Halloween everyone. We've got lots of tricks and treats for you all.
Gotham City, a dark and almost depressing place. Filled with tall buildings, gridlocked roads and cramped housing. Situated by the ocean with a large port and harbour.
We find ourselves in a secret cave in the crime filled city
This is the "Bat Cave".
One of the central locations for Gotham City's own Hero Family: The Bats.
Currently a collection of this 'family's members where getting dressed
"Man, I can't believe we're getting out of this tonight." A tall black haired and blue eyed young man groaned as he got out of a black costume with a blue bird symbol on his chest
"Stop complaining Grayson." A black haired, blue eyed pre-teen wearing a red tunic with dark green pants, black steel capped boots and a black hooded cape
"Who's complaining? I'm GLAD we get the night off." Grayson answered
This was Dick Grayson, Nightwing, aged 27
"You call patrol a night off?" Another black haired blue eyed male wearing a mainly red costume with large black wings scoffed
"As long as it has nothing to do with Arkham inmates, yeah."
"Suck it up, Dick." Another blue-eyed male spoke, but with HIS black hair, he had a white bang, wearing grey battle armour, a brown jacket and a bloody red bat on his chest.
In his hands was a red helmet
"Hey! Tim was the one who was complaining about school!" Dick huffed playfully
"Oh, drop me in it." Tim answered
"You are lucky to join us, Todd." The young child scoffed
"Don't get your pants in a twist, Damien." "Todd" answered, putting the helmet on
"Or I'll kick your ass." He joked
"I'd like to see you TRY!" Damien answered
"Boys!" A female voice spoke coming from the stairs of the BatCave.
"Can we stop with the dick measuring competitions?" The woman asked
The woman was a red head about Dick's age with green eyes wearing a black armoured suit. Her feet where encased in yellow knee-high boots with small platform heels, she wore a yellow belt, a yellow bat was on her chest and her hands, wrists and forearms where encased in a yellow gloved
"...Dick's about six foot." "Todd" joked
"Jason, knock it off." Dick rolled his eyes
"Well, we should head out. The others are already out." The red head frowned
"Alright." The other boys answered, putting on domino masks to protect their identity
Well, all but Jason who had his helmet on
The red head picked up a black knee length cape with a yellow interior conducted to a cowl that covered the top half of her head with a set of bat ears attached. She connected the cape to her shoulders before slipping her hair through a hole in the back of the cowl and put the cowl down over her face
"Let's move." She spoke
"Got it Babs." Dick smiled, kissing her hand playfully before he got onto a black motorcycle and drove off
'Hmm...Darn you, Dick.' "Babs" thought with a small smile and blush
"You gonna drool about Grayson's butt all night Gordon, or are you going to move?" Damian scoffed before he followed on a red bike
Babs frowned and quietly flipped off the kid
Yeah... Kinda surprising, doing that to a kid
But let's be honest, this kid pushed her buttons ALL the time.
"I have heard girls say Dick has the best ass." Tim joked, taking flight with his wings
"I-Y-TIM!" Babs snapped
"Calm down Barbara, they are messing with you." Jason said, getting into a black jeep "Want a ride?"
"...Yes." Barbara nodded, getting in,
Jason nodded, driving off. The two soon got alongside the other three, driving through a series of tunnels and into Gotham
'Here we go.' Jason thought
"Coms online?" Nightwing asked
"Yeah, coms online." Red Robin answered
"Coms online." Red Hood added
"I can hear you Grayson." Robin called in
"Loud and clear." Batgirl added
"You know where to look." Nightwing reminded as they parked their vehicles and shot grappling guns at the roof tops, the five zooming up to their domain
"We know." Red Hood rolled his eyes
They all nodded and split up, or paired off
Nightwing and Red Robin were paired up in their team, Red Hood and Batgirl had separated when they got out of the car and Robin was on his own as well.
Batgirl was jumping and gliding across Gotham, nearing the sound of fighting
'Here we go.' She thought
She prepared to jump down into an alleyway... And saw two female figures kicking the crap out of some muggers
'Huh?' Batgirl blinked as she saw them
One was a girl in an all black leather outfit, almost looking like something from a fetish movie, while the other was a girl with long blonde hair in a black suit with purple accents. Both had yellow bats on their chests
"Spoiler, Black Bat." Batgirl spoke as she saw the two fellow Bat-Family members
"Oh, hey Batgirl." Spoiler, who once held the name Batgirl herself, waved... While in her Batgirl suit. Black Bat, who was the Batgirl between Barbara and Spoiler, also being in her Batgirl costume
There's a lot of "Batgirl" in that last sentence.
ANYWAY...Black Bat gave a simple nod to Batgirl, indicating that she acknowledged her.
"What's with the costumes and stealing my style?" Batgirl joked
"Not really." Spoiler chuckled. "Just comfy."
"Suits damaged. Spoiler washed with normal detergent." Black Bat said with slightly broken English
"Yeah...That too." Spoiler admitted, blushing in embarrassment under her mask
"... Steph..." Batgirl grumbled
"It was an honest accident." Spoiler explained, mumbling under her breath as she kicked the ground
Batgirl sighed and helped tie up the villains for the police. "Let's keep going."
The three nodded, returning to the roof tops
*With Red Hood*
Our Red Helmeted friend was running around Gotham with a bored stare
"Nothing...Nothing...Nothing..." He groaned "Why did I agree to this again?"
"Cause it's our job, Hood." Nightwing's voice answered, coming through the helmet
"Yeah yeah."
"AAHH!" A woman's scream called from below Red Hood's street
"On it." He commented, dropping down
"Gimme your-Da fuck?" The mugger ordered before seeing the dark shadow of Red Hood landing on him
"Hey." He nodded, punching
The woman looked in shock, seeing Red Hood KO'ing the mugger, running off to safety
"That was fun." He shrugged
Seeing the woman was out of sight from the alley, Jason decided to do a civil service, by pulling out one of his guns.
"Don't even think about it, Jason." Red Robin's voice chastised him
"What? Come on Drake, you're breaking my balls." Red Hood groaned
"It was just going to be ONE riot-round in their dicks!"
"Right..." Red Robin answered, not believing it
"Asshat." He huffed
BANG
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY DICK!" The mugger yelled in pain
*with Robin*
Damien was looking over the city, scouring for any scum
Only to meet up with a fall figure in black
"Father." Damien looked up and saw the black armoured figure
"Robin." Batman nodded
"How was the meeting?" Robin asked
"Fine." He nodded
"Anything to report?" Batman asked as he looked at view
"No. This is the quietist I have ever seen Gotham." Damian said "Grayson, Todd and Drake think that we do not need to patrol tonight."
"Well, they do ask that from time to time." Batman answered "And I can see where they are coming from."
"Father?" Damian blinked
"We do not need to be a hero 24/7." He sighed "After all, if a night is quiet like tonight it is best to take advantage of it."
"Hmm...I understand father." Damian answered, nodding
"You need to relax sometimes." Batman nodded
"Hmm...What do you recommend?" Damian asked
*With Tim and Dick*
"Keep up little brother." Nightwing joked as he did a complicated flip over a series of rooftops and down towards the street before using his grapple gun to send himself high into the air once more
"Oh, no fair." Red Robin huffed, using his own grapple gun
"Says the guy who has WINGS built into his suit." Dick snarked with a laugh
"Shut up." Tim answered, jettisoning himself into the air
"So, how are the Titans?" Dick asked
"They're good, thanks. We stopped Mad Mod from getting younger again." Tim answered
"He never gives up." Dick laughed
"He never does. It's honestly annoying." Tim chuckled lightly
"Same with Doctor Light." Dick smirked
"He's still terrified of Raven, from what she did to him." Tim added
'Red Robin, Nightwing. This is Batman.' Batman's voice spoke through their headsets
"We hear you." Dick nodded
'Return back to the house. It's quiet tonight, let's take the night off.' Batman answered
"... Family, to Batman's location. Something is wrong with him." Tim ordered
'Yeah, you're telling me.' Red Hood answered
'I'm serious.' Batman responded
'... I am hungry.' Cass said over the coms suddenly
"...We're going home." Dick and Tim answered in synch.
'Why don't we get take out?' Barbara suggested
'Oh yeah, sounds great. How about BBQ ribs?' Jason agreed and made a suggestion
'Pizza?' Steph shrugged
"Oh, that's much better." Dick agreed
"Less mess. I'll go for a "Meat Lovers"." Tim added
'Meet at Crazy Harvey's.' Cass basically ordered
'... Fine.' Bruce sighed
'Sweet!' Stephanie answered
'On my way.' Jason nodded
"We should head there." Tim spoke
"Race ya." Dick smirked
*Time Skip*
Dick and Tim arrived at the top of the building, seeing the other members of the BatFamily waiting
"Dang, looks like we're last." Dick spoke
"Told you it was left on Diamond Street." Tim answered
"Took you long enough." Damian frowned
"Did you order our pizzas?" Tim asked
"Yeah, it's being delivered." Jason deadpanned
"Awesome!" Tim called out
WACK!
"OW!" Tim grunted and glared at Dick
"No Tim, we have to go in and order." Steph laughed at her ex
"...Didn't have to slap me." Tim frowned as they went inside
The 'family' of 8 jumped down, entering the pizza place... Which was kinda funny to see
The Pizza place went silent as they stared at the city's Dark Knights walking into the building like it was something they did every day
"Err..." Dave looked in shock as he saw the Bat-Family walk in casually into his restaurant.
"Don't over think it." Batman spoke
"What are you looking at?" Damian glared at a kid who was about his age, staring at the Boy Wonder slack jawed
"S-Sorry!" The kid apologised
"Um...Wh-What can I get ya?" Crazy Dave asked
"One meat lovers and a diet coke, no ice." Tim asked
"Half mushrooms half extra cheese, fries and a lemonade." Dick ordered
"Cheese burger. No onions. Pickles. Extra cheese. Strawberry milkshake." Cass listed off
"BBQ chicken, fries, diet coke." Jason followed up
"I'll take a veggie with pineapple, no mushrooms and a lemonade." Steph answered "Gotta watch my figure after all."
"Of course." Crazy Dave answered. "Um...Wh-What about YOU Batman?"
"A simple extra pepperoni." He said simply and even that made Crazy Dave nearly wet himself
"Oi, you forgot me." Barbara snapped lightly. But to be fair Jason and Bruce where standing in front of her "I'll take a meatless cheese, fries and a cherry Coke."
"Okay...Got those down." Crazy Dave answered "Cash or card."
"Err..." The Bat-Family fumbled around, looking for some cash
Batman just handed over a credit card...with a Bat-Symbol on it.
*With the Authors*
...
"Batman is rich." Grey said, breaking the silence
"And he has funnelled that wealth into his crime-fighting crusade with shell-companies and false-identities. And being a person who deals with MULTIPLE eventualities as demonstrated in both comics AND TV, he's used it to solve situations or even BOUGHT something he wouldn't normally carry with him: coffee to keep him awake, diapers for a rescued baby for some examples; to something practical for his crime-fighting, i.e. the Bat-Mobile, to things that might be considered silly "Batarangs" and such. AND the aforementioned usage of Shell-Companies to acquire items. What EXACTLY is so ridiculous and anger-inducing. About a. Bat. Credit. Card." Ghost continued with his friend
The Authors and wives looked onto the sea of stunned reviewers and "Anti-Bat Credit Card" people.
"Readers and reviewers." Ghost asked
"Yeah?" They asked
"Get in the corner."
"'Kay." They answered leaving their pitchforks and torches behind.
*back to the story*
"Okay, card it is." Crazy Dave answered, ringing up the bill.
"It'll be a few minutes."
"Thank you." Batman answered as they all went to a booth.
"So...How was your search?" Dick asked Barbara
"Nothing much." She shrugged
"Yeah...Same here." Each of the others answered.
"I KO'ed a mugger." Jason answered nonchalantly, thinking it wasn't a big deal
That was when a kid walked up nervously
"U-Um...E-Ex...Ex-" The kid asked nervously
"What?" Damian asked, glaring at them
"... CanIhaveyourautographs?!" The kid yelled
The Bat Family blinked as they looked at the child. "You...want our autographs?" Steph asked
"Y... Yes please." He stuttered in fear
"What's your name kid?" Dick asked
"T... Terry." He mumbled "Terry McGinnis..."
"... Sure Terry, give us that paper." Jason smiled
"Okay." Terry smiled and handed over the paper.
Each of the Bat-Family began to sign their names on the paper, before handing it over back to Terry. All their signatures were on it.
Of course they used their hero names, made sure to use different hand writing than normal and some even added silly little pictures with it
"Thank you!" Terry answered and went back to his family
"Nice kid." Barbara smiled
"Yeah." Tim nodded
"Here we go. First pizzas." Crazy Dave spoke, bringing a couple of pizzas forward
The orders being boxed up, going off to grab the other orders
"Alright. Can't wait." Jason smiled, licking his lips.
Soon the orders where all placed on the table, the drinks and food
"Great. I'm starving." Tim smiled, salivating at the thought of the pizza
"Ah..." Tim frowned as they picked up their pizzas.
As they were about to head out a certain villainess walked in.
The woman had blonde haired with blue eyes, wearing a white shirt and black trousers. She was smiling until she saw the Batfamily...and she gulped in shock
"Harley." Batman glared
"B-B-Man." She whimpered, seeing the entire family there.
"Getting pizza?" He asked, seeing her holding a purse
"Yeah." She nodded.
"...Try not to cause any trouble." He answered simply and went to the side, letting Harley pass to the front desk.
"Thanks!" She answered, letting the Batfamily leave
"That was weird." Batgirl blinked
"I think even Quinn wouldn't mess with these odds." Damian answered
"Yeah." Dick nodded
"...Yoh, Harley." Todd spoke
"Yeah?" She turned around to look at the Red Hood
"You still hanging around the Clown?" He asked, thinking of the terrible memories about that.
"No. I'm with Red." Harley answered
"Good." Jason answered. "Come on, pizza's getting cold."
The ground nodded, leaving as Batman pressed a button on his belt
"Are we taking the "Bat-Minivan"?" Steph joked
... Cue BatGlare
"Sorry." Steph flinched
Soon the Bat-Mobile rode up to them, skidding to a stop.
"See you back at the "cave"." Red Hood answered. "Batgirl, you're with me."
"Again?" She rolled her eyes
"Us to." Cass nodded, dragging Steph into the jeep
"I-You...Fine. But no eating pizza in the back seats." Jason sighed
"I'M transporting the food." He said simply
"I...Okay. See you back at the cave." Jason sighed, handing over the pizza to the Bat and going into his jeep
Dick and Damian got in their bikes, Batman entering the BatMobile
"What're the odds Batman eats a slice of pizza." Barbara joked
"Doubt it." Steph smirked, the group driving off with Tim using his wings to fly above the group
"Taking bet." Cass said, shocking everyone
"I'll take that bet too." Jason smirked
"I win. I get 'special'." Cass said to Steph making her blush and the other two look at them in confusion
"What happens if I win?" Jason asked
"Sure." She nodded "If Batman takes a slice you get some of my fries."
"Deal." Jason answered
'Not much of a wager or prize...but I can't complain.' Steph thought 'If I win or lose, I win.'
*At the Batcave*
"Ah, finally. Home." Nightwing sighed, relaxing at last.
He relaxed against a couch in Wayne Manor, relaxing
"Feet of the upholstery, Master Dick." Alfred, the Wayne Family butler, asked
"Sorry." He laughed. The group was in their costumes, they had just removed their masks
"We've got pizza!" Tim added, helping carry the boxes through
"Good, we don't want cold pizza." Barbara answered
The food was passed around, smiling
And...
...
"Ah! Dang, no pieces missing!" Jason answered
"... Yes there is." Cass said, looking at the box on Bruce's lap with narrowed eyes
"What?" Bruce asked
"Ate a piece before get here." Cass said, picking the box up and pointing to a small barely noticeable gap in the crust of the pizza
"Ha! I win the bet!" Jason smiled
"Yeah, yeah. You win." Steph rolled her eyes
"I get prize." Cass smiled and kissed Steph's cheek
"A-WHAT?!" The boys, except Bruce, reacted
"What?" Cass blinked at her brother's
"I-You...Never mind." They tried to answer before tucking into their respective pizzas.
"What?" Cass asked with a frown
"...French fry?" Jason offered
Soon, the Bat-Family were tucking into their pizzas and additions, Steph and Cass were exchanging pieces with each other...
And GOD DAMNIT it was adorable the way they were doing it!
"... Since when where they a thing?" Tim could not help himself from asking Dick. After all that was his adopted sister, Cassandra, and his ex-girlfriend, Stephanie, for crying out loud!
Dick shrugged, he honestly didn't know himself.
"What? Annoyed at being cuked by Cain, Drake?" Damian smirked
"Oh shut up, "Dami"." Tim answered
"Don't call me that!" He snarled
"Yoink." Jason smirked, taking a slice from Tim
"HEY!" Tim snapped "Gimme that back!"
"Eat helmet!" Jason laughed, using his helmet to hold Tim back
"Get out of my space Todd, I'm eating!" Damian snarled
"Girls, girls, your all pretty. Calm down." Dick quipped
"Shut up Dick!" The three snapped
"Boys." Barbara rolled her eyes
"My, this is a sight Master Bruce." Alfred smiled "Having the entire family here."
Bruce smiled and hummed gently, giving an approving nod. For the first time, in a long time...it was normal.
"Yello?" Dick asked as he answered his phone, holding his arm high to protect his pizza from Damian who was trying to steal it "Oh, hey Kori."
"Aww. Dick's got a girlfriend." Jason laughed, taking a slurp of his drink
Tim soon leapt on him and pinned him down to get his "revenge".
"Yeah...Uh-huh." Dick spoke, holding back Damian. "... You're what?!"
The Bat-Family as frozen. Dick's reaction was priceless.
Barbara pointed at him with her thumb with a confused look on her face, the others just shrugged
Dick dropped his phone as he ended the call, staring aimlessly at his food
"Err...Earth to Dick. You in there?" Steph asked
"... I'm gonna be a dad." He mumbled
"I...I'm sorry. What?" Jason asked
"I...I'm gonna be a dad." Dick repeated, a little louder "Kori is pregnant."
The family looked around at each other, even Alfred was stunned.
...
"Baby-daddy." Cass smiled gently
Dick laughed lightly, nodding
"Damn Dickibird, it's called a rubber." Jason laughed in good nature
"Ignoring that." Dick smiled
"Congratulations, Dick." Bruce answered
"Hey, I get a niece or nephew." Tim joked with a smile
"I-I'm an uncle at 12...Damn." Damian gasped
"Hope it's not a girl. If it takes after her mother you'll have to swat guys off with a stick." Steph joked
Dick quickly grabbed his escrima sticks and squeezed them tightly. "Just let them fucking try!"
The family laughed lightly, smiling at Dick
Bruce and Alfred where silent, watching. Bruce's face unreadable while Alfred's was a mix of shock, disapproval and joy
"You're gonna be a great dad." Barbara punched Dick's shoulder gently
"Thanks Babs." He smiled
"Baby Grayson." Cass smiled gently, siding up to Steph
"We're both girls Cass." She mumbled "It doesn't work like that."
"Adopt." Cass answered simply and snuggled close.
"You guys need to calm down on the babies." Jason laughed
"Oh yeah? What about you and Rose?" Tim answered
"We just fuck sometimes." He shrugged
"And do YOU use a rubber?" Damian asked
"Yes." Jason glared, slapping Damian
"Grr! Get here!" Damian leapt over the sofa and pounced on Jason
"Don't worry, one day you'll find a special someone Damian." Stephanie smiled
"Shut up FatGirl!" Damian snapped
*Insert record scratch*
"Fat...Girl...?" Stephanie twitched
"Uh oh." The older boys gulped
"Oh dear." Alfred blinked
'He did it again.' Bruce thought
Steph inhaled slowly...and then focused her gaze to "kill" on Damian. "You're...gonna GET IT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Steph leaped and tackled Damian off Jason
Damian took off running with a smirk, pulling out his sword "Try me... FatGirl!"
"I'mma fucking KILL YOU!" Steph answered, getting out her own escrima sticks and heading into the fray
"No sword-fighting or escrima-fighting in the house!" Alfred proclaimed "Do it outside." He said simply
"Dick. I want to speak to you." He said simply
"O-Okay, Bruce." Dick answered, getting up and followed his adoptive father
Damn, he felt nervous all of a sudden
Soon, when they were alone, Bruce and Dick were in the parlour where Bruce waited
"Yes Bruce? What is it?" Dick asked, gulping
"... I am PROUD of you Dick." Bruce said, putting a hand on his shoulder
"I...HUH?" Dick asked is a happy shock
"I am proud of you." He repeated
"I...Th-thank you, Bruce." Dick answered
"I will set up a trust fund." He nodded calmly
"Y-You don't have to do that." Dick answered
"She is my granddaughter." He said simply, walking off
Dick didn't answer with words, but just exclaimed with a smile
*the next morning*
"Hmm..." Stephanie moaned gently as she was in bed
She sat up slowly seeing she was in Wayne Manor in Cass' bed
"Wha...?" Steph wondered in a sleepy shock and found herself bruised from her fight with Damian
"Gah!" She hissed gently, holding her bruised arm... Only for an Asian hand to brush hers away and gentle lips to lovingly kiss the bruise
"Cass? You...Hmm..." Steph whispered as she felt Cass' affection
"Sleep well?" She smiled
"Yes." Cass answered with a smile, holding Steph close.
It's like seeing a kitten hug a puppy. It's just TOO CUTE!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
GOD DAMN IT TIM!
"Hey, Alfred's making breakfast." Tim's voice called through
"Fine!" Steph groaned
"Don't go." Cass frowned, holding her close
"Hmm...Okay." Cass relented as they both got out of bed.
"On it." Steph smiled
*With Damian*
Damian grumbled as he poured a glass of orange juice
"Punch drunk, little brother?" Jason asked
"Shut up." Damian answered, drinking his orange juice as he had a black eye. "Or I will kick YOUR ass Todd."
"After going three rounds with Steph?" Jason responded
"Todd!" He snarled gently
"I hope you're not agitating each other before breakfast." Alfred spoke as he walked in with plates of delicious smelling food.
"No Alf." He laughed gently
"None whatsoever." Damian answered as they were given breakfast.
"Good." Alfred nodded
"Where are Masters Tim and Dick." Alfred asked
"Dick's calling his baby mama and Tim's getting sis and his ex up." Jason shrugged
"Kind of a blunt way of putting it." Damian answered
"When was I EVER subtle?" Jason laughed, waving a gun around playfully... Which was quickly taken by Alfred
"No Guns at the table Master Jason." Alfred chastised
"Fine, sorry Alf." He grumbled as Barbara walked in
"Morning." She yawned
"Good morning, Miss Barbara." Alfred spoke kindly
"Took you long enough." Jason snarked
"Some of us don't want bed hair, first thing in the morning." Barbara rebutted, shuffling his hair in her hands
"Hey!" He glared
"Morning." Bruce said as he walked him, drinking coffee
"Good morning, Father." Damian spoke
"Hey Bruce." Jason waved
"Everyone sleep well?" Bruce asked
"Mostly." Damian grumbled as Cass, Tim and Steph walked in
"Morning all. Avon calling." Tim joked
"Shoot as a miss Tim-Tim." Jason rolled his eyes
"Just an early morning joke. No need to bust my balls." Tim answered
"Now now boys, calm down." Barbara ordered
"Alright." The Robins sighed and sat down.
"Mom." Jason added as a joke... And Damian was not happy about that
"Father! You had better not marry that red haired demon!" Damian yelled
Bruce did a quick spit-take at that before glaring at Jason.
"What?" Barbara gasped "Bruce and I are NOT dating Damian! And I am NOT a demon!"
"Tell that to some of our Rogues Gallery." Jason answered
"What's THAT supposed to mean?!" She growled
"Err...Bye!" Jason answered, bolting off.
"If I remember correctly you DID have a crush on him when you started, Babs." Dick said as he walked in
"D-Dick! Don't tell them that!" Barbara snapped
"Babs. EVERYONE knew this was a thing." He rolled his eyes "And we know you don't feel like that ANYMORE."
"You're such a dick, Dick." Barbara answered, huffing gently
"Well I have some news." He nodded "Kori said she'd come round, give some info about Tameranian pregnancy."
"Wow, really?" Stephanie asked
"Yeah, she'll be round in a bit." Dick responded "Well, later today."
Bruce was silent as he watched his family, the faintest of smiles on his face
'My family.' He thought as he got himself another coffee
And he smiled
The end
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