Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga, Monolith Software and Namco do. I'm only borrowing the characters, plot, etc. for my own enjoyment, so none of you guys
with the suits better sue me.
Author's Note: This is my first, and probably only, Xenosaga fic. I dunno, I just felt writing this after seeing the game's ending so if you haven't finished the
game, don't read this fic unless you want the ending spoiled. If you aren't into the whole shoujo-ai thing (you know, female-female relationships), then read
something else. If not, enjoy the show, and no flames if you're going to review. One more thing, this fic also appears on www.shoujoai.com but under the pen
name of cbman, don't worry, we're the same author, so no need to report on this stuff or anything.
I can't sleep, my thoughts can't help but linger toward the events that happened today. The Gnosis that merged with the reactor of Proto Merkabah, I won't be forgetting about that thing for quite some time. Albedo, just what is he up to? A whole new world, could it have something to do with Nephilim? This whole thing is just too confusing.
I look to the bed across from me to find MOMO sleeping. She looks so peaceful as she sleeps, it looks like she was able to brush away what just what happened these last few days. That's not the truth though, ever since that incident between her and Albedo MOMO would always cry herself to sleep. I remember hearing her sniffles between her shuffling, the whimpers that came in between, I wanted to console her, but I could not think of any words of solace. All I could do was watch and nothing more.
I think I'll go for a walk right now, there's just so much on my mind right now, staying here will only make me shed tears as well.
The entire ship is empty during the evening, even the service machines have been turned off. Captain Matthews' yelling ceases to exist at this time, Tony's reckless piloting has been replaced with the serene glide of the ship's Auto-Pilot, and Hammer's presence right outside my cabin is no longer there. The entire place seems so empty at this hour, maybe I should just head back to my room. Well, maybe not, I'm almost at the A.G.W.S. hanger, I should at least say goodnight to her.
The door hums as it pulls to the floor, giving me entrance to her room. The moment both of my feet are on the other side, it hums once more as it slams against the roof. Clack, clack, clack, I could hear each of my footsteps as I approach her bed.
"KOS-MOS, what do you think of this whole incident?" I ask her as she sleeps. "Do you ponder over the events that happened these last few weeks, or do simply brush them away as if nothing happened?"
Silence is the answer I receive. Perhaps she cannot hear me. I open the cover to her chamber and I am greeted with clouds of white. The smoke subsides a second later, revealing the image of a blue-haired angel. She looks so innocent as she lays there despite how much blood has been stained upon her hands. All remnants of her headband were destroyed when she shielded the ship, the bangs of her hair are no longer constrained. The holster and belt for her blaster were destroyed as well, I can see the outline of her hips more clearly now. Her uniform sustains not a smudge or spot and not a scratch or burn appears on her skin, it's as white as ever. So white, so pure, like milk.
Suddenly I find my fingers beginning to twitch, my arm extending forward. I can't help it, I have to touch it, I have to feel her skin. It's warm, so warm and smooth like silk. My fingers begin to run upward, slowly gliding up her arm and then her neck, stopping before her cheek. My hand caresses the figure of her face, stroking through small gaps between her hair at the same time.
"KOS-MOS...," her name barely escapes my lips.
I never knew how important you meant to me until you were activated. It started with the Gnosis attack on the Woglinde, another incident that destroyed my life, but at the same time, I felt as if it completed. That was when you were first activated KOS-MOS, you came to my aid when I needed you. The first time I saw you, something came over me, something I had not felt after Kevin's death. My heart was racing, my face was burning, I could never recall that feeling until I saw you there. I tried to brush the feeling away, telling myself that falling for another woman was just not morally right, and falling for a mechanical one was no better. I always tried combating that feeling during our entire journey, but then when Proto Merkabah began falling, that's when I gave up fighting. When you said you were going to stay behind to detach each of the sub-compartments, I knew then that I could no longer continue fighting. I don't know if you know this, but I stayed at the ship's entrance the entire time the structure was falling, patiently waiting for your return. When Matthews began to launch the Elsa, I was considering jumping off and into the falling structure so I could look for you myself. Alas, I couldn't, the ship had knocked me to the floor and I could not act. All I could do then was beg Matthews to turn back but I was glad he didn't. That was when Nephilim told me to look in my heart, and then I saw you, running back to me. Suddenly you came flying into my arms, but only our hands could grasp another.
As our fingers began dwindling from one another, I could practically feel my heart being pulled away from my chest. I had so much to tell you, so much I wanted to do with you. Kevin and I created you, we made you to be the daughter we could never have, but when Kevin died, that all changed. I made you to be something more than a daughter, I wanted you to be a friend. What I really made however, was a lover. Yes KOS-MOS, I've been keeping this to myself for the longest time, but the truth is that I love you.
"I love you, KOS-MOS. I love you more than a friend, more than a mother, and more than you could ever imagine."
KOS-MOS, do you love me? Of course you don't, you only see me as your creator, as another objective in your memory banks. Despite what you may think of me, I'm just happy to be a part of your life.
With a sigh, I begin to turn away from you, making my way back to my quarters. I stop for a moment, taking one more look at your visage.
"If I were to steal one kiss, would you hold it against me?"
My conscience tells me not to, but the yearnings of my heart plead to do so. Again I find myself before you at the edge of your bed, my body leaning forward as my lips press forward. The impact of our mouths fills me with such ecstacy, your lips are so soft and so warm. The contents within your mouth, they taste ever so sweet, an ambrosia I had never once tasted. I take a moment to have my lips relax against yours, indulging in the sweet honey of your mouth. The sweet wine begins to dry as I suckle the contents of the gap, I could only wish for more. My mouth begins to pull on the device inside yours, once again filling my being with the sweet ambrosia. I begin to pull away after what seems like an eternity of bliss, my eyes once again focusing on yours as I press my fingers against the remaining contents.
I sigh once more and begin to take my leave, only to stop with the sound of your voice.
"Shion," you say, "I love you..."
Author's Note: Well how was it? I dunno about you people, but seeing the ending made me think Shion was a lesbian. Even if she's not, one thing's for sure, she's definitely not into Allen. Well, go ahead and feel free to leave me a review, but not a flame. If I get at least five (positive) reviews for this fic, I'll continue this fic into a series. I guess that's it for now, later people!