Notes:

1. Sonny and Barba have such interesting interactions based not only as characters, but also as actors who bring them to life with their performances. There is more chemistry (platonic & implied romance) between them in 10 seconds of airtime than in an entire SVU episode.
2. Takes place after episode 17x09 (Depravity Standard).
3. My first Barisi SVU fanfic!
4. Wanted to show Barba's softer and more romantic side (in due time).
5. I like Barisi and no one will change my mind :)

Chapter 1: Unintentional

"Yes, WHAT?" assistant district attorney Rafael Barba replied in agitation, after picking up his desk phone. He was so focused on work that he cradled the receiver in between his shoulder and neck while continuing to scan the files in front of him.

"Well, that's a nice friendly greeting, Raf," a familiar voice spoke on the other end of the line. "Is that how you always answer the phone now?"

There were few people that had the privilege of calling Barba so informally and his former college roommate was one of them.

"Mason Jones! As I live and breathe. How the hell are you?"

"Can't really complain. How about you? Staying out of trouble?"

"No more than usual," Barba replied sarcastically, but there was just the slightest hint of weariness in his voice.

"That bad, huh? Let me guess. You're on your second cup of coffee."

"Third, but who's counting?"

"Jeez, it's only 1:30 in the afternoon. Do you even sleep at night?"

"You didn't call me just to comment on my nocturnal habits. What do you want?"

"Can't I call to see how you're doing without having an ulterior motive?"

"Sorry, Mason. Just one of those days."

"I hear you. Well in that case, I don't suppose I could persuade you into leaving Manhattan and coming to L.A.? There's an opening for an associate in my firm, with a high likelihood of making partner. It'll be like the old days."

"Same old Mason. Thanks for the offer, but I don't think your firm could stand the both of us together in the same office. Besides, you know I would never be happy doing corporate law."

"Can't blame me for trying. I guess you really do like being an ADA in Manhattan."

"There are days when it makes me yearn for the Bronx," Barba replied sarcastically.

"Now I KNOW that you're exaggerating. Someone giving you a hard time? I heard the new DA is a real ball buster."

"I just need to stay on his good side. Him I can deal with. It's someone else that's turned my neat and tidy world upside down."

"Don't tell me you and Yelina..."

"That boat has sailed a long time ago," Barba replied emphatically. "In fact, it's sailed so far that it's never coming back."

"Oh? You're with someone else now?"

"In a crazy, mixed up, 'Odd Couple' sort of way. Somehow, for reasons unknown to me, I'm currently mentoring this law student who just happens to moonlight as a detective at SVU. It started off as a one time thing. Now I can't get rid of him."

There was a slight pause before Mason burst out laughing hysterically.

"Are you done?" Barba asked dryly after the other man finally stopped.

"Wait, wait. Okay. I think that's the last of it...nope. Still a little bit left. Bwahahaha!"

"Just what is so damn funny?"

"No offense. But you're not exactly the mentor type. I mean you don't exactly have the patience or temperament."

"You're preaching to the choir, buddy. But that doesn't deter this kid, Carisi. He's a real piece of work. No matter how much of a hard time I give him, he always comes back for more."

"And that's wrong because...?"

"It's not just that. He constantly tries to undermine me by offering his opinions as though they were factual. Never mind that he takes forever to get to the point. I mean, does he even know who he's talking to? ME a Harvard Law School graduate with years of experience. I think half the time he's trying to show me up."

"Afraid of a little competition? I seem to remember another hot shot law student who had similar aspirations back in a day," Mason quipped jokingly at the expense of his friend.

"Apples and oranges," Barba dismissed derisively. "I've always wanted to be a lawyer. I've given it my full attention and made it my life. This kid sees this as just a hobby on the side. He's not really serious about it. I mean he's a detective full time and goes to night school at Fordham Law for god's sake."

"Objection, counselor. Argumentative and prejudicial."

"Overruled. Look, I don't have anything against him. He has some potential, but I'm just not cut out to be a mentor."

"Everybody needs a little help now and then. Haven't you ever heard of 'paying it forward'?"

"Hey, I had to fight for everything I've earned. No one helped me when I needed it. And I didn't have generational wealth to pay for my education, unlike SOME people I know."

"You wouldn't have accepted anyone's help, let alone admitted that you needed it."

"That's beside the point. Anyway, a little adversity never hurt anyone."

"You know Raf, one of these days, that brash, give 'em hell attitude is going to come back and bite you in the ass."

"I prefer to call it quiet confidence. I don't cater to threats and I DON'T suffer fools either."

"There's nothing quiet about you. I have to admit, I never pictured you as a mentor. You must be getting soft with age."

"I am NOT that old. Besides, it wasn't my choice, but Carisi kept bugging me. I finally let him shadow one of my cases otherwise, I wouldn't get a moment's peace."

"I have a feeling that you're trying to make this guy sound worse than he really is," Mason replied astutely. "For crying out loud, it's not as if it's all part of some sinister plot to make your life miserable."

"I sometimes wonder," Barba replied sarcastically.

"You've got to hand it to him, though. He's certainly persistent. I would think that you would at least give Carisi some brownie points for wanting to shadow you. After all you've never passed up an opportunity to display your talents. If it were me, I'd be flattered to have someone think so highly of me like this person obviously sees you."

"Then YOU come up here and switch places with me and see how you like having someone follow your every move."

"I'M not the one Carisi wants to learn from. If you ask me, he sounds like he just wants to make a good impression. I think it's great that he took the initiative to approach you."

"Maybe, but he still annoys me to no end."

"And why is that, pray tell? It couldn't be because he reminds you a little bit of yourself?"

"I am NOTHING like him. And I never miss an opportunity to remind him of that fact. He's like the poster child for sunshine, rainbows, and puppies. He's an optimist and I'm a pessimist. We're different people."

"Me thinks thou doth protest too much."

"Well, me thinks that you're making much ado about nothing."

"You know, it's okay to show a little humility. You act like it's some sort of infectious disease."

"For which I've already been vaccinated."

Barba felt the corners of his mouth curl up in amusement in spite of himself when he heard his old friend laughing again.

"At least he knows you're the best at what you do."

"I can't argue with you on that. And, if I were under oath, I would have to admit that Carisi wasn't entirely useless when he was shadowing me. Now that the trial's over, it'll be nice to have things back to normal without this millstone hanging around my neck. I..."

Barba stopped in mid-sentence and looked up when he heard a stack of papers fall unceremoniously to the floor in front of his desk. The ADA's green eyes widened in surprise when he saw the familiar tall, lanky, and loquacious Staten Island native with the luminous blue eyes and slicked back, light brown locks bending down to gather the papers that fell involuntarily from his long fingers.

Sonny kept his head down low and acted as though he was unaffected by what he just overheard. Normally he had no trouble keeping his emotions in check, but it was taking every fiber in his being to not fall apart in front of Barba. He didn't even know why he was reacting this way. After all, it wasn't a secret that a seasoned assistant district attorney like Barba tolerated the newest addition to Manhattan SVU up to a point. Sonny had always known that. And yet he stupidly allowed himself to believe that the great and mighty Rafael Barba was starting to respect him as a potential lawyer. He thought they were at least at a point where they could call each other colleagues. Evidently, that wasn't the case...at least where Barba was concerned.

"I'll call you back, Mason," Barba replied in a dead-pan voice as he ended the call while staring at the younger man across his desk. There was no doubt that Sonny had heard what he said.

Barba rarely had any regrets for whatever came out of his mouth. However, he felt a tight knot form in his chest when Sonny finally looked up at him. The first thing that he noticed was Sonny's eyes. There was a profound sadness in them which made Barba feel uncomfortable. But it wasn't just sadness. There was also resignation, as if Sonny knew this would happen. It was disconcerting to see him beaten down. He was the most positive person Barba had ever met in his life.

"You forgot this file at the precinct this morning after our meeting. I was in the area and I wanted to save you a trip back," the younger man replied softly while placing the manila folder on the desk.

There was no hint of his normally cheerful and effervescent self. Sonny couldn't help it. He couldn't pretend, not even for Barba. Anyone would have thought that Sonny was nursing a bruised ego. But this wasn't about hurt feelings or having thin skin. This was about Sonny being faced with reality, harsh as it was. Barba only saw him as a nuisance. An insignificant peon who cramped his style and invaded his personal space far too often. He didn't really care about him as a professional or as a person. Sonny knew that now. He just wished Barba would have been honest from the start. Didn't he at least deserve that much?

Ever since Sonny had dared to open his mouth in Barba's presence, it seemed liked he had earned the ire and disdain from the outspoken ADA, warranted or not. Sure, Sonny might have been an eager beaver for wanting to utilize what he had learned in law school and it annoyed most people, but his intentions were entirely earnest. Most times, he didn't even realize that he was rambling on. He was just trying to be a better cop and hopefully become a lawyer someday. Hell, he was more than half way there, even working full time at SVU. But shadowing Barba on the Hodda case was an opportunity Sonny couldn't pass up. And when Barba actually showed appreciation for his contributions, Sonny thought he had finally made a breakthrough and showed that he wasn't just a flash in the pan and that he could contribute on both sides of the law. He should have remembered to never make assumptions, especially with Rafael Barba.

"Thank you, detective," Barba replied carefully. "Well, THIS isn't awkward. I don't know what to say."

"That's a first," Sonny joked lightly, trying to break the awkward atmosphere. "I'll notify the press."

Barba's eyebrows furrowed in concern as he immediately saw through the younger man's attempt at levity.

"Carisi, what you heard just now, I should explain..." Barba replied as he started to get up.

"No need to explain, counselor," Sonny interrupted abruptly, not allowing Barba to get another word in. "I think I get the picture."

Sonny headed towards the exit and reached for the door knob. He paused briefly to gather his thoughts before turning his head sideways to look at Barba. "All you had to do was tell me the truth. I would have backed off."

For a split second, Barba contemplated going after Sonny when he left, but ultimately decided that perhaps this was the best solution for the both of them in the long run. Sonny was too soft and too emotional for his own good. That was why he was more suited as a detective in SVU rather than being involved with prosecuting. Barba worked alone and didn't need a sidekick slowing him down and cramping his style. And he was not about to change his ways after all these years for some wannabe lawyer in training.

"So why the hell do I feel like a first-class heel?" Barba muttered to himself.

"Carisi, can I talk to you for a moment?" Olivia Benson asked from her office.

"Sure thing, Lieutenant," Sonny replied automatically. "What'd I do now?"

"Nothing," she assured the younger detective as she closed the door behind them.

"Then what is it?"

"I've noticed that you haven't been your usual self lately. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Sonny's blue eyes cast downward to the floor briefly. "Not really, because there's nothing to tell."

"This is about Barba, isn't it?" Liv asked bluntly.

"I appreciate your concern, but everything is fine between us. What makes you think otherwise?"

"Oh, little things like you staying as far away from the ADA whenever he stops by. Avoiding having to talk to him directly him unless you have to. But the real giveaway was that you haven't even mentioned any legal talk for a while now."

He gave her a rueful expression in response. "I guess I need to work on being more subtle. That's me to a tee. Always putting my foot in my mouth at exactly the wrong time."

"Carisi, I know that it hasn't always been easy for you since coming to SVU. But it doesn't matter what happened in the past. You're a part of the team now so there's no need to prove yourself to me or anyone else. So be honest with me. Did you have a fallout with Barba?"

Something inside Sonny felt compelled to tell her the reason for his personal malaise. She really did have a gift of making people want to confide in her despite their reservations. But he wasn't ready just yet. Anyway, this was between him and Barba.

"Nothing is going on, Liv. He did me a solid by allowing me to shadow him on the Hodda case. I just don't want to bother him more than I already have. That's all there is to it," Sonny replied very carefully. He hoped he sounded convincing enough.

"Barba wouldn't have allowed you to follow along if he thought that you were going to be a detriment. And I wouldn't have allowed you to go if I didn't think it would be mutually beneficial. I know that he likes to needle you on occasion and he can be rough around the edges, but he does value your opinion and insight."

Sonny gave her a doubtful look. "Silly me. And I thought he enjoyed busting my chops for kicks. We ARE talking about the same ADA Barba, right?"

"I know, I know," Olivia replied patiently. "But don't let him fool you. His bark is worse than his bite."

"Don't tell me he bites too?"

"You're avoiding the issue, Carisi. Come on. Level with me."

"The truth is...I'm thinking about quitting law school," Sonny replied softly.

Olivia's eyes widened in shock. No wonder he was acting out of sorts. "You've got to be kidding. Why?"

"It was just a hobby on the side. I can't be a lawyer and a detective at the same time. I couldn't do one without affecting the other."

"That's not something you have to decide on right away. And it wasn't just a hobby. You've spent a lot time and energy on something worthwhile. You're almost there. Why stop now?"

"Because...because I just don't think I can do it anymore. I don't even know what I was thinking wanting to become a lawyer. I'm just some nobody from Staten Island that's been bounced around from more departments than I can count. I've never really belonged anywhere."

"Carisi, I haven't known you that long, but I do know that you're good at what you do. And I know that you don't even know the meaning of the word, 'quit.' How many times have you gone above and beyond to get critical evidence for a case? Not to mention being able to look beyond the surface and seeing something worth saving. Busting perps is one thing, but making the conviction stick is another beast. Because you have the heart of a cop and the mind of a lawyer, you have a point of view that most of us don't even consider."

"I always thought you guys hated it whenever I did any legalese talk."

"Oh we still get annoyed sometimes," Olivia quipped lightly. "But that's only because you were giving full symposiums on the subject when you started here."

"Copy that," Sonny admitted with a wry expression on his face. "After moving between so many departments, I guess I just wanted to prove that I could contribute here."

Olivia crossed the gap between them and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You were overcompensating, but it wasn't necessary. You're a good detective. And from what I've observed so far, you'll make a good lawyer as well."

"Wish I had your confidence."

"This isn't like you to let one incident stop you from achieving your goal. I can't tell you what to do when it comes to your personal life, but if you want my opinion, I think it would be a real damn shame for you to quit law school now. You don't want to live the rest of your life with regrets. That's no way to live."

Sonny nodded in agreement. It was ironic that he needed reassurance when he was usually the one doing the reassuring for the people he considered as a second family.

"Thanks Lieutenant. I promise I'll think about it."

"Good. Now why don't you take off a little early today since it's Friday? We can handle things without you."

"I appreciate the thought, but I want to keep working."

"It wasn't a suggestion," Olivia replied firmly. "Think of it as a mental break. And with this law school decision looming over, I want your head clear and free of distractions. Is that understood?"

Sonny nodded his head affirmatively. "Understood. I guess it would be a nice surprise for my folks to come home early for our weekly get together."

Olivia waited until Sonny went back to his desk before she pressed the speed dial for Barba's number on her cell phone.

"Barba? We need to talk."

Thank for you reading this far! Took a year off writing, but my love for Barisi brought me back. I'm also on AO3.