Konosuba and Fate/Stay Night are owned by their respective companies and authors.

Here it is! The New Chapter has arrived because I cave under social pressure! I will give this fic another chance, for you guys who repeatedly reviewed that I was doing a good job.

I would also like to say that I am in desperate need of a co-author or Beta, whichever works for you. If you are interested in the position (No more than 3 open spots) Please send me a PM, as well as some examples of your work. It'd be awesome to work with people who write better than me.

But for now, enjoy!

Chapter 6: Don't Lose Your Head

(Kazuma's POV)

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

"So, I was thinking about what skills to learn after leveling up some more, and was wondering if any of you had some input on what role I could play." We're all seated at a table in the guild, and since their still aren't any quests that this haphazard party can pull off safely, we decided to have a strategy meeting of sorts, to help iron out a standard game plan.

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

To improve our efficiency and the ability to take on harder quests, it's important to consider the teamwork of the party, and how learning new skills will affect it. And since it's been another week since we had Aqua purify that lake, we're in need of a distraction.

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

As things stand, we only have two decent party members: Shirou, our (all-range, sword-sniping, stuff-reinforcing, dual-wielding, really-far-seeing, front-and-center-badass) all-in-one fighter, and Aqua, our, though I'm loath to admit it, (useless, pig-headed, glutinous, alcoholic, showboating, idiotic⎯) only healer and buff-giver.

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

Then we have Darkness and Megumin, our Crusader and Arch Wizard respectively, who have their own problems. One is a major league masochist, and the other can only use one spell once a day.

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

And no one wants to hear someone rant about their own problems, so we'll skip me.

*BAM* *CRUNCH*

"Do you guys need to eat so loudly?" I say, reaching for one of the veggie sticks in the cup on the center of the table.

The vegetable stick dodges out of my reach.

…

Oi.

Aqua slams the table, making the vegetable sticks jump in surprise, and grabs one out of the air and stuffs it into her mouth.

"I'm not teaching you healing spells…" Aqua murmurs after she finishes chewing.

"Yeah, I already plan to learn them from someone else instead, anyway." I quickly retort, causing Aqua's eyes to widen and tear up in alarm.

Even if though I want to, learning healing spells might just be beyond my ability. With my magic stat, I might no ever be able to learn anything like Advanced Magic.

… But there isn't a need to tell her that.

Ignoring the crying goddess, I turn to Darkness, who flicks the edge of the cup with her finger and takes a distracted vegetable stick nimbly.

"My skills are centered around 'Physical Defense', 'Magical Resistance', and 'Abnormal Status Resistance'. I have a skill called 'Decoy', used to taunt the enemy. So unless you plan to become a Crusader, I don't think I have skill that will be useful to someone like you."

Ignoring the subtle jab at my very Thief-like skill set, I ask an obvious question. "Don't you plan to learn something like Two-Handed Sword to increase your attack accuracy?"

"I don't plan to. It might sound like I'm boasting, but my stamina and strength are quite high. If my attacks land easily, I could easily defeat monsters without taking any damage. And it's not good to hold back intentionally. It should be like this: 'Attacking the enemy with all my might but being unable to land a hit, and being captured to be used as a meat slave after my strength wanes.' That is the best sort of play." Darkness starts panting intensely again…

"That's enough out of you, shut up."

" Hmmmhmm! You are the one who asked, but to treat me like this…" I pointedly ignore Darkness as she… Darknesses.

Megumin slams the table with her fist, and picks up the vegetable stick that's too scared to move and shoves it in her mouth.

After chewing, Megumin tilts her head and says, "Of course I learned explosion related skills, 'Explosion', 'Explosion Damage Increase', 'Fast Chanting', et cetera. All the skills to cast the perfect explosion spell. It was the same before, and will of course be so in the future."

"… No matter what, you have no intention of learning something like Mid-tier magic?"

"I don't plan to." Of course not.

Shirou eyes the sticks for a moment, before reaching for one, which dodges his hand, leaving it open to his other one as it swoops in and grabs it.

"My skills are all related to my 'Projection Magecraft', and my sniping, so unless you want to use a bow…" Shirou thinks for a moment. "Do you want to learn that?" He offers.

Taking that thought into consideration… With Shirou, we only have one actual fighter of any kind on the team. Megumin's a one-hit-wonder, Darkness is, well you know, and Aqua is only useful against undead. I don't have much worthwhile experience or skills to allow me to fight at any range, even if I want to…

To that end, I should definitely⎯

The vegetable sticks dodge my hand again, as I absentmindedly reach for them.

I grab the cup containing the sticks, holding it above my head as I prepare to throw it against the wall. "St, stop~! What are you doing to my vegetable sticks! No, don't destroy my food!" But Aqua, on the verge of tears, restrains my hand.

"How dare these mere vegetables look down on me! How, no, why are these damble things even dodgin' me!?" I scream incoherently.

"What are you talking about? Be it fish or vegetable, it tastes better the fresher it is, right? Haven't you heard of killing it fresh and serving it on the spot?" Aqua retorts.

"Then kill it before you serve it, you fool!" I poor strength into my arm, preparing to let my pent-up rage loose on the sticks, when suddenly⎯

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all Adventurers, report to the main gate of the city ready for combat!" The familiar emergency broadcast could be heard throughout the entire town.

I calmly set down the cup, the sticks within saved from their imminent armageddon… for now…

All of us rush to the main gate.

By the time we arrive, many Adventurers had already gathered, and are standing together in a crowd, looking at something out on the road.

I quickly push my way up to the front of the crowd to have a look, sliding passed people as I go.

When I get to the front, I see why everyone is just staring blankly…

It's a Dullahan. A monster that brings despair and the premonition of death.

A former human which, after turning into an undead creature that carries its own severed head around, has higher physical strength than when it was alive, as well as gaining several unique powers.

Sitting atop a jet-black headless horse, the monster wears black armor, and a cape, with it's head held securely in it's left hand, it's right lightly holding the reins.

… If it's horse has no head then how do the reins even work?

Behind the mounted warrior is a group of knights wearing tattered armor. Looking closely, they probably haven't had a proper meal for quite a while, seeing as how you can see their ribs.

Literally.

With just a glance, it's clear that the armored knights are undead.

"I," The Dullahan speaks in a booming baritone voice which carries over the distance from where his horse stands on the hill, all the way to us standing at the gate. "Am Beldia, a general of the Demon King's army."

Everyone immediately tenses up at that. An enemy of this calibur shouldn't be anywhere near a town full of beginner-level Adventurers.

"The reason I have come here today, is because of an investigation that I have been carrying out in the name of my liege. My search has led me to this very town, and now I hope to ask for your cooperation, so that we can all go home peacefully."

"What is it you want?" I call over to him.

"Only to search your town for someone." He replies.

"Why, who?"

"That's my business, but I can assure you that no harm will come to anyone, so long as they stay out of my way."

…

"Well?" The Dullahan asks. "Will you allow me to finish this quickly so you can get on with your lives? Or do I need to take matters into my own hands? If I get serious, I could kill all the adventurers in town and massacre the townsfolk. I am an undead that will never know fatigue. You bunch of rookies won't be able to hurt me!"

The crowd can only stare silently.

...Except…

"Well aren't you just soooo full of yourself!" Aqua says strutting out of the crowd, hands on her hips. "For an undead, you sure like to talk big, huh?"

"Do you think a mere Priest will be able to do anything to the likes of me?" The Dullahan asks, presenting it's head as if in challenge. "Too bad, girl, including myself, all of the Undead Knights in this band have received the protection of the Demon King! We have high resistance against holy spells, but I'll indulge you. So come on, give me your best shot, girl."

Aqua stares at the Dullahan, standing totally still as she does, before starting to shake with rage. "You…. You… WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE UNDEAD LOOKING DOWN ON ME? CAN THEY NOT TELL WHO I AM OR SOMETHING?" Aqua's voice starts to reach screeching level. "THIS'LL SHOW YOU TO LOOK DOWN ON THE GREAT AQUA-SAMA! DISAPPEAR! SACRED TURN UNDEAD!" A bright white light flies from Aqua's outstretched hand.

The gentle light flies innocently forward towards the Undead Knight, who stands confidently as the spell pours over him and⎯

"EHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The Dullahan screams girlishly, as the spell vaporizes his undead steed, and sends him to the ground, his armor smoking. The Dullahan rolls around on the ground, as if trying to put out a fire on himself.

Eventually, the Dullahan stands, wheezing loudly as he tries to catch his breath.

"K-Kazuma…" Aqua says, stepping closer to me, as if to put me between her and the Undead Knight. "My attack just now… Didn't affect him at all…"

You sure? 'Cuz he seems pretty affected to me…

Suddenly, the loud wheezing turns to slow, low, chuckling. "I see… so that's how it is…" Beldia murmurs almost inaudibly. "I revoke my earlier offer to receive assistance in my search, as I've found the one I'm looking for." The eyes in his head still being clutched in his left hand start to glow ominously.

He turns towards his knights and proclaims, "Bring that girl to me, kill everyone else in this town."

Before anyone can even react in any way to those words…

"Trace, On!" I manage to hear those words over a sudden whirlwind.

From the crowd, a red bullet is launched.

(Shirou's POV)

With speed totally dwarfing anything I've shown in this world thus far, I close in on Beldia in an instant, leaping into the air in front of him, and bringing the twin swords in my hands down on him with all my strength.

However, even faster than that, the Dullahan brings the broadsword on his back to bare, blocking my attack with contemptuous ease, even as the ground half a meter in a ring around him craters from the force of our clash.

Before my feet can touch the ground, Beldia steps forward, causing his sword to lift me higher up as I struggle to keep my swords in between us, and he launches me into the air as he throws his right arm, which holds his sword, and spins to the right, following the motion.

I immediately reorient myself, and bring by swords to my left side to block the follow-up strike as he completes his spin, using the momentum to increase the strength of the blow.

Kanshou and Bakuya shatter on impact, but manage to serve their role as a shield as I'm flung away by the force of the blow. When I hit the ground, I continue to slide for several meters before I can get my hands under myself and and repurpose the momentum to leap into the air.

Discarding the now useless handles of my swords, I quickly project my bow and fire a volley of arrows at Beldia, each one charged to it's breaking point.

Of the ten arrows I fire, only three of them consist of any actual attack, each aimed at a vital point.

The plan is to lure him into an inescapable death, by forcing him into a situation where he cannot dodge or block. However…

"Something like this⎯" He stabs his sword into the ground, and an area three meters in diameter in front of him cracks as an ominous light shines through it. "Won't even leave a scratch! Go! Wall of Skeletons!" From the ground in front of his sword, a thick wall of skeletons half a meter thick rises up and blocks my arrows, even as they detonate with enough force to rival a tank shell.

Right, a Dullahan is a master of the Undead, like a Lich. So of course he can do something like that. The wall crumbles away as the shattered remains of skeletons that make it up return to the earth, as Beldia and I stare each other down.

"Heh…" The knight chuckles to himself. "Of course someone like that would surround themselves with extraordinary talented allies… But no matter, once I'm done here, you'll just be a memory of an interesting opponent."

With that, he points his sword towards the crowd of Adventurers standing behind me.

"But let's not do this out of order, now. Hey! Didn't I already give you guys your orders? Kill them!" Beldia once more addresses his followers, who move into action.

The Undead Knights charge, and I prepare myself for my first real fight since I arrived in this world...

(Kazuma's POV)

Upon Beldia ordering his forces to attack a second time, more experienced Adventurers immediately snap into action.

"Get Priests! Get them into formation and protect them while they deal some damage!"

"Someone go to Eris' church for holy water, get all that you can carry!"

"Archers! Lay down suppressive fire!"

Such orders are swiftly given as the crowd disperses into the individual parties that make it up, not staying too close to one another, to avoid getting in anyone's way, but not to far as to avoid being able to provide assistance.

The Undead Knights charging us are beyond standard undead opponents, as they retain fighting skills that they had in life, making them far more deadly.

Making like everyone else, Shirou leaps back to stand next to us projecting new swords, as we attempt to settle into some semblance of a formation.

"I'll blow them away! I'll blow them all away with my Explosion! Just you see⎯" Rambles Megumin.

"They'll hit me… They'll hit me hard, right? They'll surround me and… and… Ummmm!…." Darkness… says…

"Waahhh~! Why just me? I, I am a goddess! I'mma goddess, so I always do good deeds! So why am I the only one being chased!" Aqua screams bloody murder as she sprints away from us at top speed, as the mob of undead follows⎯

...

...HUH?

For some reason, the undead knights aren't laying their hands on the townsfolk, but are instead chasing after Aqua enthusiastically.

Even Beldia sounds surprised.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING!?" He basically screeches. "Capture her later! Kill the others first you NINCOMPOOPS!"

I wonder if those mindless undead are seeking salvation from Aqua?

"Looks like Aqua's going to buy us some time to come up with a strategy." I turn to Shirou. "Do you think you can beat that guy?"

Shirou eyes Beldia for a moment before turning back to me. "I honestly don't know… If we all work together, we may be able to do something…"

"Kazuma! KAZUMA! HEEEELLLLLP MEEEEEEE!" Aqua howls, throwing spells into the mob chasing her, to no avail.

"See if you can come up with something, I'm going to help Aqua!" Shirou sprints away again with that same unbelievable speed, immediately catching up to Aqua.

Tch, you say that but…

"I can get rid of them with an Explosion⎯" Megumin starts, but I put up my hand to silence her.

"You only have one shot, and if you waste it on the wrong target, we'll be in big trouble." I reason. "Shirou can fight that guy, and Aqua and hurt him, but we may need a big move like yours for the finisher."

We need to get rid of the Undead Knights first, that way Beldia won't have any backup that he can use as meat-shields.

"Of course, I will act as your m-m-meat shield! You won't have to worry about getting hurt, since I will take them all at once!" Darkness's pants and moans get louder as my brain automatically censors them from her dialog.

"If only we could take them all out at once…"

(Shirou's POV)

"See if you can come up with something, I'm going to help Aqua!" I don't wait for Kazuma's response before I launch myself to Aqua's defense.

"Trace-" a meter- long, rapier-like sword designed for throwing, weighing one kilo, imbued with Sacraments emphasizing the ability to affect evil, the blade exists in a semi-spiritual state, allowing it to be filled with Magical Energy. "-On!"

Three in each hand, in a fan formation, I Project Black Keys, sacramental weapons used by the Holy Church for use against Dead Apostles. Racing towards the Undead Knights closest to Aqua, I throw the first sword in my left hand, which flies like a bullet, taking one of the knights in the head, destroying it instantly.

It's body doesn't' even make the other undead stumble.

I throw three more in rapid succession, leaving me one in each hand. For each key I throw, an undead falls.

But with these numbers, It won't matter.

"We need to keep these undead distracted until Kazuma comes up with a plan!" I tell Aqua, who looks like she's about to start crying again. "Keep running!" I order her as I focus on the Black Keys in my hands.

With the properties formed into these weapons, I have a suitable way of fighting undead. However, there is one problem.

Black Keys are throwing weapons.

It means that if I get into a melee while using them, they won't be as effective. Sure, they can be used as rapiers for stabbing attacks, and some executors use them to cut through even concrete, but they are mostly useless in close combat due to being poorly balanced for it.

Lucky for me, I can change that.

If a weapon in its current form is unsuitable for the task at hand, then all I have to do is change it so that it is.

If Archer can make Caladbolg II…

I stop running and turn to face the Undead Knights, even as I close my eyes to focus on the swords in my hands. With the distance I have from the mob, they will be on me in three seconds.

"Trace, On." I have countless swords stored in my Reality Marble, so finding models for the modifications I have in mind should be no trouble at⎯ ah, here we go. A standard hand-and-a-half longsword will do just fine as a base.

Modifying the blade will be no trouble at all, since the weapons are designed to take in Magical Energy to increase in size. The problem is the hilt and guard of these weapons. The hilts are designed so that an Executor can hold multiple blades in the same hand using only their fingers, saving the thumb for an additional key, or to curve over their fist.

One Second…

Since the weapons I'm modifying are Projections, any additional materials needed will simply be made and added as I go. I increase the lengths of the hilts to fit a hand-and-a-half length, meaning that they can be wielded in one or two- handed grips.

The guard is also enlarged to make it act as, well, a guard.

Two Seconds…

Now for the blades themselves. I simply make each blade the same width as a standard longsword blade, and sharpen the cutting edges to make them more effective.

Next, I dig into the history of the Black Keys themselves, and imbue them with the Cremation Rite, which will immolate the undead on contact.

Three Seconds…

I open my eyes as the first of the knights is upon me, its sword raised above its head. I step to the right, dodging the attack even as I lash out with the sword in my left hand, cutting the undead in half across it's hip, and stabbing another undead in the chest with the sword in my right.

Both undead fall to the ground, burning.

I leap to the side, turning as I do so, so that I can run parallel to the mob of undead, which are quite adamant about chasing Aqua, even though they are under attack.

Like a hawk, I swoop in, attacking the knights on the outer-edge of the mob, taking out at least one undead each time I attack, pulling away before they can counter-attack. I attack from multiple angles, moving as a blur.

I'm still not making a dent, though, and I can't keep up this pace forever. My breathing is already growing heavy.

And Aqua's still running and screaming. Must be easy, being a god…

"Shirou, Aqua! Lead them here!" Kazuma's voice cuts through my thoughts, and I immediately leap over to Aqua, throwing her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, even as I ignore her squawking protests, and sprint in Kazuma's direction.

Kazuma and Megumin are standing behind Darkness, who has her sword brandished in front of her. I can see even from this distance that Megumin is chanting.

I run passed the Dullahan as I move to my comrades, and he just waves nonchalantly at me.

I arrive next to the group, set down Aqua, and turn to face the charging mob once more. Just as I'm about to intercept them again though…

"NOW, DO IT!" Kazuma bellows.

"I'm grateful, Kazuma, for granting me this ideal situation! My name is Megumin! The Elite Wizard of the Crimson Demon clan, user of explosion magic! Take a look at my power, EXPLOSION!"

The magic circle appears above the undead horde…

As well as their master.

"Huh? Oh…" He says as he notices.

In that instant, the explosion strikes, igniting the ground and all the Undead within…

"GYAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Beldia screams.

The explosion spell created a crater right before the main gate, which still sizzled from the intense heat it had produced

Everyone who hadn't seen what Megumin could do before were stunned into silence before of the power of the spell.

"Hmm hmm hmm… It seems everyone here has been rendered speechless after witnessing the power of my explosion… Fu ahh… including narrating that speech, all this… feels so good…" Megumin says proudly.

Right up until she falls flat on her face.

"Need me to carry you? Kazuma asks her.

"Ah, thank you. And could you help me put my eye patch back on?"

"My mouth… is full of sand…" Aqua complains next to me, sitting up from where the explosion knocked her over.

"Well, at least you aren't being chased around anymore, huh?" I console her, offering my hand to help her up. The dust from the explosion has yet to settle as all the adventurers in town start cheering.

"Woahhh! That's awesome, girl with a screw loose!"

"She's crazy in the head, and so's her name, but she sure can bring the heat!"

"I see you in a whole new light, crazy girl!"

Megumin scowled deeply. "Sorry, but could you remember all these people's faces for me? I'm going to blow them away later."

Before I can tell her to just let it go, though...

"Fu, hahaha~! Interesting! That's interesting! To think my minions would be wiped out in a novice town like this!" Beldia laughs hartally as the dust finally settles, revealing him standing in the center of the crater. "If that's how it is, then I'll keep my word! I'll take you all on personally!" He proclaims as he begins his charge towards us.

I charge him in turn, modified Black Keys in hand. I was completely outclassed in our last exchange, and he could have killed me easily… if he was actually trying.

I need to hit harder, move faster, and trick him into a path that will lead to my victory. Emiya Shirou is incapable of beating this foe, even with the advantages I've gained from copying Archer.

As a matter of fact, I'm weaker now than I was during the Grail War. Back then, I was not only directly linked to Archer, instead of just copying him, but I was also receiving backup from Miyu.

I don't have either of those advantages now, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve...

In an instant, we close into melee range once more, and Bledia swings his greatsword down on my head.

Instead of blocking, I leap to the right, and throw the two poorly-balanced swords in my hands, which are easily deflected with a single sweep.

Undeterred, I roll on my shoulder and up onto my feet, projecting four normal Black Keys in each hand, and throw them one at a time in .7 seconds, borrowing the skills of that fake priest.

"How naive to think that this tactic⎯" Beldia deflects those attacks as well, angrly berating me. "Will work on me!"

"Gotcha."

A loud *ping* sound is heard, as the dirk I hid in the shadow of one of the Black Key ricochets off a rock in the ground and flies into Beldia's helmet, wrenching his head from his hand, and sending it skyward.

Kanshou and Bakuya fill my hands in less than a second. "Trigger, Off. Set, Overedge."

I Reinforce the swords in my hands and transform the blades into longswords, reminiscent of a pair of Crane wings.

I cross them in front of me and slash his chest in an 'x' shape⎯!

"YOU'RE STILL NAIVE, BOY!" The Dullahan roars, as his sword lunges forward to take my head.

Time freezes.

My attack won't reach in time, I'll die before it lands.

But how was he able to counter-attack so quickly?

His head, up in the air, stares down at me.

Oh, thats how.

Just because his head isn't in his hands, that doesn't mean he's blind.

I screwed up. His sword is longer than mine, so his reach is greater.

I'll die in the next second, there's no time to dodge.

However…

A hand roughly grabs me by the… Butt-cape?

Yeah, butt-cape.

Darkness pulls me back by my butt-cape, causing me to fall on my aforementioned butt, which also causes Beldia's attack to miss.

"I won't let you harm my comrade!" Darkness leaps in front of me, unarmed. She must have ditched her heavy sword in order to get over here quickly, leaving herself defenseless.

"Next." Beldia says in a bored tone as he lashes out with his sword, killing Darkness in one hit.

Or so he thought.

A loud metallic screech rings out as Beldia's sword deflects off Darknesses armor.

"AHHHH! My armor! I just got this back from getting it repaired!" Darkness lamants the deep gash in her armor. "I'll have you compensate me for that!"

Beldia takes three steps back and leisurely catches his head as it returns from it's impromptu skydiving session.

The distance between us becomes ten meters.

"You, what's with you…? Why aren't you hurt after being hit by me…? Was that armor made by a famous artisan? No… it's not possible with just that… That Archer and that Arch Wizard too, who the hell are you people…" Beldia mutters to himself.

"You ok?" I ask Darkness, looking her over. Her wound isn't bad, her armor having taken the bulk of the hit.

"I'm well, but I don't think I can help fight." She replies sheepishly, looking over at where she left her sword.

It wouldn't matter even if she had it anyway...

Kazuma and Aqua run over to us "We need a plan to take that guy down, so quit jumping in on your own you two!" Kazuma hisses at us.

I stand up and dust myself off. "I'm the only one who can fight him, since Darkness can't hit anything, and I doubt that he'll just let Aqua hit him either."

"I must object to your claim, Shirou." Darkness interjects, her tone sounding annoyed. "I pride myself in being able to protect my companions, my pride as a Crusader won't allow that insult to stand."

I'm surprised by that. For once, Darkness sounds not like a masochistic pervert, but as a noble knight and comrade.

"And besides," Darkness adds, her face flushing a deep crimson, "In terms of toughness in taking hits, I won't lose to anyone. I can use my skills to increase the durability of my weapon and armor as well. Beldia's sword might be powerful, but you do really think it could cut through steel armor like paper? Beldia probably possess powerful attack skills. I want to find out how my defence does against it!"

…

So that's why…

"Darkness," Kazuma interjects, "You're unarmed, so pull back for now and go get your sword, we'll figure something out."

Darkness turns to Kazuma with a look of shock. "I can't leave you all here unprotected. If I have to go fight him with my bare hands, I will." Her expression and tone turn serious.

I remember something Darkness said a while ago, about not wanting to put any points into her two-handed sword skill.

⎯magical sword that sniffs out the smell of blood, that can launch the most optimal slash with a mere ordinary swing⎯

"Hey, Darkness." She turns her attention to me. "You know that this isn't an enemy that we can beat without some sacrifice, right?" I press on, before she can question me. "What if I told you that I can help you get a hit in on that guy?"

My question causes her to pause, and she stares at me curiously.

"What do you mean? I won't put any points into⎯"

"I know, but if you could fight him on even ground, would you? There's no way you will get out of fighting him unscathed though, and he won't pull his punches at all." I added the last part in a desperate bid to appeal to her dark side.

My question was met with silence as she considered her answer.

"What do you propose?" She asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Just use⎯ Trace, On⎯ This." The sword I have in mind appears in my hand, a long, black-iron greatsword.

I hand it over to her, as it's about the same size and weight as the sword she normally uses, though it's not at all pretty.

Hrunting was a sword made to slay, after all.

Darkness examines the crude looking sword with a raised eyebrow. The equipment she's used to using are leagues above what other Adventurers lug around, being made of rare and expensive materials using exceptional forging methods.

Well, she can think what she wants, but there's no way she can do any better than a B-ranked Noble Phantasm.

"I see…" Darkness nods to herself, rubbing her chin. "You truly are an interesting man, Shirou. Giving a proud Crusader like myself ineffective equipment that will surely fail, causing me to be repeatedly beaten around and violated in front of everyone… hmmmm!"

No, that's not it, stop that.

Before I can respond, Darkness starts skipping up to Beldia, sword in hand.

Yes, skipping.

INTERLEWD

About half of the distance to her target was covered by the time Darkness realizes she should probably start running instead of skipping. "Here I come, Beldia!" she roars, confrontationally.

"Heh, It's inevitable that a Crusader would be my opponent! Come, show me what you can do!" Beldia raises his sword above his head and brings it down with great force.

Darkness raises her own borrowed sword to block, expecting it to break under the force.

So her surprise was palpable when the weapon held, even though the force of the blow she blocked caused the ground around them to creator.

Digging her foot into the ground, Darkness kicked into it while simultaneously pushing with her sword, allowing her to leap back for some distance.

As soon as she has her balance again, she runs back into the fray, swing her sword in three powerful strikes.

Her downward slash is met with the edge of Beldia's greatsword, deflecting it. Her sideways swipe screeches off the flat of the blade. And her stab is deflected to the side, even as she slides passed her opponent, the rocky ground bunching up as she attempts to slow to a halt.

The dumbfounded expression on her face as she stares at the sword in her hand tells it all.

"What is this…? This sword is…" She whispers to herself in awe.

A moment later, she turns around, running back into the fight once more.

With her naturally high strength, each blow, even if blocked or deflected, still has the potential to seriously wound even a Boss-level enemy like Beldia.

She remembers, when she was a little girl, when she learned how to dance, her instructor would take the lead, ensuring that she made no mistakes.

The sword in her hand leads her the same way. Each attack is flawless, and her foe is forced to bite back a curse and block, lest he lose his, er, head.

"Ha! This is it! This is the kind of fight I've been looking for!" Beldia laughs excitedly, as the two continue to exchange blows. "This is how a fight between Knights should be!"

"You call yourself a Knight even though you've cast aside your humanity!?" Darkness retorts, still marveling at her own attacks.

"Once a Knight, always a Knight! That's just the kind of man I was!"

Then, the headless man found himself off-balance, with his opponent's blade careening towards him with all the power she could bring. The shockwave from the collision of steel goes off like a bomb, causing the Dullahan to go sliding backwards for several meters.

Quickly, he coats his sword in coalessing black energy, which is then launched in a wide slash. "Midnight Cleaver!"

Halfway to it's target, the sword-slash is intercepted by a pair of swords that look like wings, which stab into the attack from above before the entire thing erupts into a massive explosion.

Shirou lands next to Darkness a moment later. "So, what do you think? I told you that you'd be able to hit him."

"Once this is over, I don't think I ever want to use this sword again." Darkness says after a moment.

"Huh? What? Why?" The redhead stammers in shock. "Do you even know what you're holding? That's a N⎯ You know what? Never mind, I'll tell you later." He turns to Beldia, projecting his bow as he does. "I'll back you up, so let's finish this, Darkness."

"Looks like I'll have to get serious, If I'm facing the both of you. Let me show you the power of one of the Demon King's chosen." He throws his head into the air once more. "Levitation, Protection from Arrows, Greater Magic Resistance, Battle Continuation, Greater Physical Resistance, Bravery, Eternal Arms Mastery, Monstrous Strength, Reduced Earth, Cry of the Warrior, Aptitude for Slaughter, Lord over Death, Hawkeye, Greater Evasion, Armored Offensive, Boundless Persistence."

"That's… a lot of skills…" Shirou mutters.

Beldia proceeds to hold his sword with both hands, preparing to take on both of his opponents, as his head floats along in the background.

Shirou eyes Beldia's head, and fire off a shot in less than a second, the arrow streaks towards it, but is stopped by a barrier.

"Tch, no use huh? Protection from Arrows indeed…"

"He's coming!" Darkness proclaims, getting into a ready stance and panting uncontrollably.

In instant, the Dullahan is on top of them...

(Kazuma's POV)

"Kazuma, I have a plan. When I give the signal, tell Aqua to hit Beldia with the best Turn Undead she's got." Is what Shirou said before going to help Darkness.

With the fight against Beldia going swimmingly, I find myself trying to figure out if he has any weaknesses.

And seeing as he's just finished buffing himself with a smorgasbord of skills, I can say with a certain amount of credibility that he probably has very few.

Of those few, I doubt there are many I can take advantage of...

I clear my head and try to focus on the task at hand...

"Sh-Shirou! He's hitting me! He's hitting me with such skill as to only knock off parts of my armor! It looks so erotic! This public humiliation is the best!"

Which is only becoming more difficult since Darkness keeps saying things like that!

"Look at the time and place you unrepentant pervert!" I scream at her at the top of my lungs.

Darkness trembles for a moment as she listens to me lecture her "Ugh…! Ka, Kazuma you should be the one watching the time and place! I'm at my limit being ravaged by the Dullahan in public, and Kazuma is humiliating me too…! What are you trying to do to me, ganging up on me with the Dullahan!"

"No want wants to do anything to you pervert! 'Create water'!" I cast water magic as a retort at Darkness.

A large amount of water pours down on Darkness like an overturned bucket.

Darkness is soaked entirely while Beldia leaps backwards in a panic, avoiding the downpour of water.

Huh? Why would he⎯

My gamer instincts kick in.

"Water…" Dullahans have a weakness to running water, they can't cross rivers!

"Uh? What, are you talking to me?" Aqua asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Water…" In this world, it must translate as a weakness to water-based magic, it probably debuffs them...

"Earth to Kazuma! Are you ignoring me? A goddess is talking to you, you know? Are you an idiot? Are you so scared that you can't even⎯"

I interrupt her incessant prattle "It's water, water! This guy's weakness is water! And you're a goddess of water right?! Or are you just a phony goddess? Can't you even do something as simple as summoning water?" I taunt Aqua relentlessly.

"Don't be rude! Or I'll give you my divine retribution! What is this 'phony' you're talking about? I'm a true goddess! Water? You want to talk about water with me? Your weak stream is nothing, I can even summon a flood! Apologize! For accusing me of being a phony goddess, apologize!" Aqua stomps her foot into the ground as her voices reaches a pitch that would attract dogs.

"I'm fine with apologizing however much you want, just summon it if you can you useless goddess!"

"Wahahhh–!" Aqua screams in rage "You dare say I'm a useless goddess?! Watch this, I'll show you what a 'useless goddess' can really do, fool! Then you'll see how great I am when I'm serious!"

Aqua stomps forward, but as suddenly as her anger arrived, it disappears, replaced by a serene calm. Her steps become light as a feather, and a mist begins to coalesce around her, even as her magic power becomes palpable in the air.

Beldia, Shirou, and Darkness pause in their battle, sensing the imminent danger. Shirou is the first to react, blasting forward, and sticking one of those rapier-like swords into the ground next to Beldia, before leaping away, picking up Darkness by looping one of her arms over his shoulder before leaping again while shouting:

"Aqua! You don't need to go all out! We don't need a flood on our hands!"

"... O' my familiars that exist in this world…" The mist around Aqua turns into droplets of water, floating around her, growing in size with each passing second. I can feel powerful magic in each droplet.

"...The goddess of water, Aqua, commands thee…" The air around her trembled.

This tense feeling similar to when Megumin chants explosion magic. The spell she's about to cast has the same level of danger! Beldia probably feels the intense air too, as he turns his back to Aqua unhesitantly and prepares to run…

Only to stay rooted in place.

"What?! Hey, what, what!"

"That's a Key of Providence in your shadow." Shirou says as he lands next to me, setting down Darkness as he does. "You, as an enemy of God, won't be going anywhere." Lifting his bow in front of him, he projects four of the same sword-arrow and fires them in a square around Beldia.

"Brace yourselves." Shirou says, hunkering down. "I don't know if that will hold."

Before I can ask what he's talking about…

"SACRED CREATE WATER!"

As massive torrent of water falls from the sky…

(Shirou's POV)

I need to keep Aqua happy and never, EVER, make an enemy of her. There are multiple myths and legends in various cultures about gods bringing about floods in divine retribution for some perceived wrong.

In this case, she at least kept the power at about an Anti-Army level.

...So there's that…

With the sheer volume of water falling from the sky, I definitely had reason to worry about flooding. Luckily, I had just the sword for the occasion, a nameless Noble Phantasm which absorbs water. The four swords surrounding Beldia performed their duty well, and besides a small lake that formed in front of town, there was no damage to be had.

"That just leaves…" I mutter, looking up at Beldia as he stands, breathing heavily.

"Why… YOU!" Beldia roars as he prepares to charge us.

"Aqua, you can beat him with turn undead…" I snap my fingers causing the four swords around Beldia to simultaneously detonate. "Now."

With his armor damaged and broken from the explosion, there's nothing left to defend him from Aqua.

"Okay! Leave it to me!" Aqua, still clearly puffed up from being able to show off, does so again, by holding her hand out behind her, causing her staff, which she left in town, to come flying into her hand.

The moment it made contact, an elaborate magic circle appears at her feet, and her pink hagoromo materializes around her. She aims at Beldia, who still can't move.

"Uh, wait, um… I'm sorry?"

"Sacred Turn Undead!" With the greatest intensity yet, a veritable storm of white light flies into the Dullahan.

"EEEEEEEYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" He lets out one last scream as the light purifies his body.

The demon general disappears from this world, to the thunderous cheers of all the adventurers present.

We arrive back at the guild, collapsing exhaustedly into the chairs around the same table we'd occupied earlier today.

*FLASH* *CRUNCH*

"So, what were we talking about? Ah right, I've decided what kind of skills I want to learn." Kazuma says as he uses his steal skill to grab a vegetable stick.

"Oh? What's that? AH! Do you finally see the merit in traveling the path of explosions with me!?" Megumin, who at this point has returned the functionality of her arms excitedly pulls on Kazuma's sleeves.

"I'm not teaching you healing spells… or Turn Undead!" Aqua hollars in paranoia.

Kazuma waves a hand dismissively at Aqua. "Don't worry about it. Oh Shirou, I decided that I don't need to learn Archery from you, nor do I need any of the skills that any of you have."

Kazuma stands proudly, looking down on us... for some reason.

"I've decided on the best way for me to help the party in a fight is… to stay the hell away from you people while the fighting is happening and just provide emotional support or something." All of us face-fault at that.

"What?" I sputter as I pull myself off the floor. "You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am." Kazuma waves a finger annoyingly. "I'm going to focus my skills on doing the one thing that none of us can do, you know what that is?" We, the audience, shake our heads.

"I'm going to choose skills out in order to be the best of the best when it comes to stealing and killing without my victim ever knowing!"

And thus, the best/worst thief/assassin the world had to offer, was born.

Chapter done! Over! I finally did it! It's mediocre, but I did it!

Looking for co-authors!/beta!

Please review!

I'm out!