After Us - Chapter 9

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Chapter 9 - A New Fear

I'm not the type to trust my instincts alone. However, this is growing hard to ignore.

Something is coming. Someone.

Signing off.

Time passes excruciatingly slowly. After Ace lies Sabo down upstairs, all he wants to do is sleep - however, he knows that that's the last thing he can do right now. He makes his way down the stairs quietly. The infected may not have the best eyesight, but they make up for it in their sense of smell and hearing. They have surrounded the house now, throwing themselves against the front and back door and the windows and walls and every available surface. The sound of them is everywhere - screaming, screeching, howling. Nothing like the groans and mumbles of zombies in the movies.

With how much Sabo was screaming and the stench still thick in the air, Ace doubts they will leave anytime soon. The three of them are trapped in.

At the bottom of the stairs, Ace pauses and glances around, pulling off his boots to help silence his footsteps. He calls softly, "Luffy? Where are you?"

"In here." Luffy's reply is surprisingly subdued.

Ace makes his way into the living room - Luffy is standing near the door, staring out of the window at the horde gathered outside. The glass is smeared with blood - they press their faces against it, hurling fists and gnashing their teeth. Luffy is looking at them with an almost morbid fascination, face hard to read.

Ace puts a hand on his arm. "Lu."

"Sorry." Luffy shakes his head, not tearing his eyes away. "It's my fault. My fault Sabo got bit. Sorry. Look, if you want me to go-"

"Are you crazy?!"

Luffy glances up at him, surprised. "What?"

"Do you seriously think either of us blames you?" Ace shakes his head, slinging an arm around Luffy's bony shoulders. "Neither of us blames you and neither of us wants you to leave, okay? Sabo - he fuckin' adores you. Thinks you're the best thing that's ever happened to us. And… you're like a brother to me. A stupid, awesome, idiot little brother. We helped us out and you've helped us too. And we're sticking together for as long as we have to, whether you like it or not."

Luffy hesitates, then nods, laughing wetly. "Sorry. S'weird. I just want him to be okay, and normal, and I just want everything to… just go back to how it was."

Ace stares at the floor. "Like before you met us?"

"I don't know." Luffy sighs, pulls away, but he stumbles and Ace has to catch him. He steadies himself and says, "I dunno, I… I just don't know."

"Hey, it's okay-"

Suddenly, there's a loud noise like a gun going off. Ace and Luffy spin around on unison; there's a huge hairline crack in the glass, and one of the infected is pounding on it, trying to shatter the windows, scrabbling madly to get to the scent of burnt flesh that must be permeating the air from the kitchen. Ace darts across the room, hauling the bookcase from the wall and pushing it against the window hard, blocking all light and the view of the infected outside. The noises continue, only a little muffled, and Ace turns to Luffy, breathing hard.

"Okay, upstairs. Now. I'm going to barricade all the windows, see if there's any food or water here."

Luffy shivers, eyes fixed on the window. "Are they gonna go away?"

Ace doesn't answer - he can't, because he would either have to lie or say the one thing both of them know already. Instead, he says, "Can you walk?"

"Yeah, of course-"

Luffy takes one step and trips. He hits the ground hard, sprawled out, yelping; his forehead hits the doorframe on the way down and then there's blood - not much, but blood nonetheless - on his skin and on the carpet. Ace grits his teeth hard, running over and rolling the kid over, examining the wound. Luffy moans with pain.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three?" Luffy slurs dopily, pointing at Ace's index finger - the only one held up. "Fuck…"

"My thoughts exactly." Ace helps him sit up, back against the wall next to the door. The cut on the teen's forehead is bleeding heavily, though it's probably an artificial injury; head wounds bleed a lot.

Suddenly, outside the banging and screeching and crashing seems to pick up, until the racket is so loud that Ace's head begins to throb. Against the wall, Luffy groans again and pushes his fingers clumsily against his forehead, trying to stop the bleeding. Ace realises with a horrible jolt that the smell of blood must only be adding to the creatures' desperation to get in.

"Okay." Ace says it mostly to himself. He takes a deep, steadying breath. "Okay. Luffy, I'm gonna carry you upstairs, okay?"

Luffy gives an incoherent jumble of sounds in response, hands falling into his lap. Ace scoops him up - Jesus Christ, the kid weighs nothing, he's even worse than Sabo - and settles Luffy in his arms, one wrapped around his shoulders and the other under his knees. Luffy mumbles something he can't quite make out. Outside, one of the infected throws itself against the window, and there's another crack. Luffy shifts closer to him, face creasing.

Getting up the stairs is tough; Ace's legs are trembling. It's hard to stay quiet. He pauses on the landing before deciding to put Luffy in with Sabo. Inside the larger bedroom, Sabo hasn't moved, face screwed up with pain. Ace lies Luffy down beside him and realises in that second, with an unreasonable amount of surprise, that he trusts Luffy almost as much as he trusts Sabo. So much has changed.

And you still can't protect them, taunts the little voice in Ace's head that he loathes, the little voice he knows far too well.

Ace shoves it away. There's no time for self loathing now - he can deal with it later. For a moment, he focuses on how the midday sun pouring through the window hits Sabo's face, how it makes the pain there even clearer. He's… beautiful, Ace realises. Almost too beautiful for this kind of story, this tragedy. People like him are meant to be the ones living in good worlds with good lives. They aren't meant to be stuck in places like this, with people like him.

The walk back downstairs is harder than it should be - Ace falls twice, stumbling like he's walking on new legs. The adrenaline of the morning's events is rushing out of him, leaving him cold and shivery all over, skin crawling. His hands are still bloody, drenched red by both Sabo and Luffy's wounds. He tries not to look at them.

Downstairs, Ace barricades all the windows, shoving anything he can find against any and all entrances, trying not to look at the scrabbling, crazed creatures outside the house. After that, he searches for some sign of food or water or something. Ace tries tearing through the cupboards, looking in the basement (it stinks of blood and Ace's stomach turns and he tries not to throw up) and even checking under floorboards and in parts of the wall where the plaster has cracked to reveal little alcoves. He comes up empty-handed. Nobody has stayed in this place for a long, long time.

Swearing under his breath, Ace stands in the hallway for a minute, unsure of what to do and where to go. A part of him wants to go back up to Luffy and Sabo; a larger, more fearful part of him resents the idea. He couldn't handle seeing them right now.

And just like that, with no warning whatsoever, Ace turns around and throws up everything in his stomach. His knees hit the ground hard and he heaves, curled over, throat convulsing, eyes squeezed shut. The taste of bile is harsh on his tongue and it only makes him retch harder, gagging and spitting and wheezing until there's nothing left in his stomach and he's just throwing up acid and water. His throat burns like fire. He spits, and there's something red in it; blood. He bit his tongue.

The sight of the marbled red liquid makes Ace feel even more repulsed, and his body tries to throw up again, throat tight and screaming in protest. Nothing comes up. Ace feels completely hollow, drained of all feeling - his skin tingles uncomfortably like pins and needles, and the shivers come harder, harsher. His stomach contorts and he curls in on himself, gritting his teeth, trying not to let himself retch again. It hurts. It hurts so much that Ace can't even think straight.

Finally, his body seems to give in. Ace collapses back against the wall, pushing himself away from the pile of vomit and blood, curling up into a ball. Wrapping his arms around his knees, he buries his face in them, trying to make himself as small as possible. Trying to feel human again. Outside, the sounds of the infected are dulled beneath the ringing in his ears.

Then and only then do the sobs come. When they do come, racking his body, Ace feels like they're going to tear out his throat with their force. He cries openly, loudly, messily into his knees, not even bothering to choke back the tears, not caring anymore about who or what might hear them. His lip trembles and he bites it, tastes blood. Ace can feel his shoulders scrunch up with the strength of his heaving sobs, his gasping breaths. Salty tears run down his cheeks and into his mouth, and the salty taste makes Ace almost throw up again.

After a while, Ace doesn't even know why he's crying anymore. He tries to pull himself together, to wipe his tears away, to stand. Then, the smell of Sabo's burnt flesh hits him and he's on the floor again, gripping his head, pulling hard on his hair in an attempt to distract from the awful, sickly-sweet smell, edged with something like iron or copper. Ace doesn't know what has come over him as he folds his arms over his head, screams raggedly into his knees. It hurts.

Eventually, after what feels like years, the panic fades. Little by little, the world flickers back into reality around him. Ace finds himself still curled up against the wall, arms over his head, shaking hard. The trembles almost take him by surprise. His body doesn't feel like his own.

Taking a deep breath, Ace slowly opens up, letting his arms flop to his sides, legs unbending to stretch out on the ground in front of him. He takes deep breaths, focussing on keeping them even and regular, throat wheezing. The anxiety eebs away gradually, leaving him feeling empty and numb and small. In the house, nothing moves. Sabo and Luffy must both still be unconscious. Ace wants to go up to them - wants to feel Sabo's warmth, wants to make sure Luffy isn't bleeding anymore - but he can't find the strength. His body feels glued to the wall with exhaustion.

A feeling of hopeless weakness rushes over Ace, but he doesn't have the energy to cry. Instead, he just sits there against the wall, head tilted back, completely drained. He doesn't even have the strength to keep his eyes open, and eventually, the world fades to grey and flickers away, like it was never there in the first place.

Before even waking, Sabo feels the pain.

It assaults him like a battering ram, makes his head throb. He realises that his teeth are clenched together tight - too tight, and it hurts. He tries to loosen his jaw but another stab of agony shoots through his arm and he bites down so hard that he feels like he might chip a tooth. He can't think, can't put his thoughts into order. Ace's face, blood-smeared, flashes through his brain over and over and over.

The fear hits. Sabo opens his eyes, forces himself to keep a level head even though it feels like somebody has set his arm on fire. Above him, the ceiling is a soothing off-white, though limescale has seeped through the paint and Sabo can see cracks lacing the flat surface. With a groan, he forces himself to sit up, tries to figure out where he is and what happened and where Luffy is. Ace, he tries not to think about. That image becomes more persistent, and Sabo feels himself go cold with fear, though he doesn't know why.

Luffy is on the bed next to him. There's blood on his tan skin. Sabo swears quietly, and the action almost feels like coming back to life - the sound of his accent and the scratchiness of his voice startle him, as though he hadn't realised he was a real person at all. Reaching across with his left hand, he wipes at the blood on the kid's forehead, revealing the cut beneath it. It's not deep or long (and there's not even much swelling), so Sabo isn't worried. The chances are anybody could recover quickly from a bump like that, especially Luffy.

Now that he's made sure Luffy is alright, Sabo moves on to checking himself. His whole body aches, like he just ran for weeks without pause for water nor food nor sleep. The area where he feels the most pain, however, is the place he focuses on. His right arm scorches with a fierce agony Sabo can't even begin to describe. It's so bad that it almost seems to blur his vision. His breath comes in raspy pants, rattling in his throat.

In his right arm, under a swath of bandages, a long, deep concave is set into his skin, a few inches wide, almost as long as his forearm. It looks like somebody has carved a chunk clean out of his flesh with a knife, like one would when carving wood. The pain there is the worst by far. Sabo can feel the agony of bandages pressing hard on raw flesh, and a hot feeling like fire, and something cold and numb, like the nerves are pressing up against cold iron. It's hard to describe, even to imagine how much it hurts. The pain is incredible. He prays for it to end, but it doesn't even come close to stopping or fading.

Eventually, after sitting on the bed for a long time trying to remember how to breathe properly, Sabo swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands, swaying. His head spins but he forces himself to ignore the exhaustion - now, Ace. He has to find Ace.

Memories return slowly as Sabo hobbles slowly across the room, arm clutched to his chest. The huge horde, looming through the rain towards them. Running hard, Luffy on his back. Pain in his arm. Hopelessness. Collapsing against carpeted stairs in a narrow hall, face pressed against the ground. Being carried by Ace to somewhere he can't recall. The crackle of flames on the stove. Ace's face, and pain.

Sabo shoves it all into the back of his mind. Out on the landing, he stands for a moment, listening. Outside, the infected scream and screech and retch, howling like wounded animals, scratchy voices reminding Sabo disturbingly of his own. He can see the top of a narrow flight of stairs, and recognises the cream colour of the carpet. Sabo moves slowly to stand at the top of the stairs and looks down - there's a little blood on the carpet, maybe from the bite. It smells like vomit.

Making sure to stay as quiet as he can, Sabo picks his way down the stairs, wincing as they creak under him. In the hallway at the bottom of the stairs lies Ace, sprawled out on the ground, cheeks red and puffy. His face somehow manages to look agonised even in sleep, and there's blood on his hands. There's a pool of vomit on the floor beside him, peppered with more of the dark red liquid. Sabo winces, takes a step closer-

Ace is a light sleeper, and at that he jerks awake. His sleep-glazed eyes meet Sabo's and he moves like he's going to get to his feet, to run to Sabo-

Sabo takes an involuntary step back, then another. Ace scrambles to his feet, takes a step towards him, and Sabo staggers backwards until his back is pressed against the bookcase barricading the door. His breaths come tight and fast. Ace stops in his tracks, raises his bloodstained hands like you would when approaching a wounded animal.

"...Sabo?"

Sabo forces himself to stay calm, even as the image of Ace tearing open his arm with a knife is seared into his retinas. For a few tense moments they stand there, facing one another. Ace looks hurt and scared and everything he shouldn't be.

"Sabo… are you okay?"

The fear fades, so quickly that it might never have been there. Sabo stares at Ace for another moment - Ace, brilliant incredible Ace - before launching himself forwards. He hits Ace with force more than an embrace (more like a rugby tackle) and Ace barely manages to catch him, to stay standing. His grey eyes are bloodshot and haunted. Sabo buries his face in Ace's shoulder and stands there, arms around his neck, hands on the back of his head, holding the other very, very tightly.

After a long moment, Ace hugs back. It seems almost instinctive. His arms come around Sabo's back gently, hesitantly, and then he's abruptly squeezing the life out of him. Sabo coughs, midsection aching, but it's a sweet kind of pain. The smell of Ace is overwhelming and the lingering remnants of fear slip away as they clutch one another, swaying together, crashing into a wall as one. Sabo loves him so much it hurts.

"I'm sorry," Ace chokes out. "Holy shit, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Ace sniffs hard, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."

A lump rises in Sabo's throat and he holds Ace tighter. Together, they slide down the wall and to the floor, landing in a tangle of limbs. Neither of them is crying but a sort of sorrow - horror-filled regret - sinks into his gut. The hopelessness comes back, and he doesn't even know why.

"You cut the bite out of my arm?" Sabo finally musters the strength to say, body pressed between Ace's legs, which are wrapped around his back just as tight as his arms. He is kneeling and Ace is sitting back against the wall and somehow, even in the awkward position, they manage to cling to one another still.

"I did." Ace lets out a strangled little groan. "I'm so sorry. You were in so much pain and I couldn't even- I didn't-"

Sabo shushes him quietly, presses his face into Ace's hair. "You did what you had to do."

"Sabo, you were scared of me."

"But I'm not anymore."

"But-!"

"No, Ace." Sabo pulls back, looks Ace right in the eyes. "No. If you hadn't done that, I would be dead. And I'm not. I'm alive-" he grabs Ace's hand and presses his against his chest, over his heart- "I'm right here. I'm alive."

Ace looks like he wants to apologise again, looks like he wants to break down. Instead, he lets himself get tugged back in, and Sabo grips him until both of them have stopped shaking.

Then, suddenly, Luffy is there, piling onto them too. A laugh tears from Sabo, raw and real, as he messes up Luffy's hair and presses Ace to his shoulder and forces the darkness away, forces the fear and doubt and memories far, far away. Luffy seems punch-drunk from his blow to the head, woozy and uncoordinated and goofy, and Sabo doesn't ask how he got it, too busy revelling in the sound of Ace's breathy laughter. The world feels okay again. Of course, Sabo knows this world too well to believe it will stay that way... but for now, everything feels right again. Whole.

Eventually, all three of them run out of energy. How Luffy got down the stairs in his condition, Sabo doesn't know - he and Ace assume the kid tumbled down, which Ace slaps him lightly over the head for. They traipse back up the stairs, Ace carrying Luffy, Sabo trying to ignore the returning throb of his injured arm. The warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest… he doesn't want it to ever end.

The trio collapse onto the bed upstairs. The sound of the infected outside is loud, but somehow more distant than before. Afternoon sunshine glares into the room but it feels like nighttime, and Sabo knows all three of them are exhausted mentally and physically. Ace especially. So he just holds Ace's hand, lets Luffy grab him like a little vice and lets sleep come again.

(a tiny part of his mind is scared, being this close to Ace. a little part of him wants to scramble away, and he can still feel the phantom pain of Ace pushing the knife into his flesh. Sabo ignores the feeling, but it lingers long after he's gone to sleep)

Hey yall so im sick and tired and dead, so no replies again. Im so sorry peeps, i just cant this time

Anyway, sorry for the wait and thanks for reading! Any and all reviews are appreciated

-lee