Cal stood with his shoulder against the door jam, watching Gillian as she worked in her office. She hadn't looked up yet even though he knew she knew he was there.

"Marry me."

Her head shot up. Fingers frozen in the position of writing in what he would guess were budget reports. Confusion written all over her face. Also, there was a touch of intrigue, and dare he hope, arousal. Confusion won in the end with a touch of concern. Then she smiled. "What's the case?"

"No case, Just asking the most amazing woman I know to marry me." He honestly didn't know what had gotten into him about this. But after weeks of thinking about how much he loved her, all of her, and how long he had loved her, although he had only just admitted to himself and Emily of course, how deep that love ran...oh crap, he is even thinking in run on sentences.

He watched, concern was back on her face, as she elegantly rose from her seat and walked towards him.

Gently Gillian placed her hand on his forehead. "you don't seem to be running a fever."

"I'm serious Gillian." and he caught her hand in mild frustration.

She watched him intently for a moment. He could see the moment she realized he was actually serious."Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Why aren't you answering?"

Gillian gracefully walked back to her desk and sat down.

"Give me a good reason."

"Because we make sense."

She laughed at that. It just came out. Of all the reasons she never thought he would go with 'we make sense'"

"Oy, no laughing when I'm being serious."

She knew he was serious which was why she was terrified. "In what Universe do we make sense?"

"This one. Listen Gill. I know this is an ….odd…way of doing things…"

"Odd? This goes beyond odd."

"Just hear me out would you?" He is really starting to get irritated with her. He would throw his hands up in the air if he hadn't caught the micro expressions for curiosity and arousal mixed in with the fear and terror of what he was saying.

"You know how much I love Em. The best day in my life was the day I held her for the first time, and every day with her is a wonder. I'm guessing I don't need to go into my feelings about the truth. Finding the truth can be an obsession for me at times."

Gillian raised her eyebrow. "At times?"

"Don't raise that thing at me. You are just as obsessed as I am, you are just nicer about it. And that brings me to how I feel about you. I have been thinking about things for a while now and realize that I'm a total coward when it comes to you. With Em, no matter how grown up she becomes, she will always be my daughter, she will always be a part of me. You, well…um…This company…" Cal stopped and took a cleansing breath. He knew this wasn't going to be easy to get through, but this is seriously pushing all his panic buttons.

"What about this company?" Gillian asked when he took a little too long to respond.

"I realized recently that I started this company because I wanted you to stay in my life."

"You mean everything is a lie?"

"No, the company is real, the science is real, and your talents are a perfect pairing, which made things a whole lot easier...um..well...I just didn't disclose all of my original motives. I mean, we were both married and I wasn't going to break up our lives, but I couldn't give you up either. So I took what I could. Friends. And you have been the best friend anyone could ever have wanted. And well, after some much needed soul searching, I realized that I want more. I want…"

"To marry me….?" Gillian was confused, and elated. She hadn't been reading him wrong all these years.

"Yes."

Gillian just looked at him. He was getting a bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny, but this is what he wanted and he wasn't going to shoot himself in the foot by running away.

"Gill, you are the first thing I think of when I wake up, the last think of when I go to sleep. Getting to see you every morning gets me out of bed and to the office. Your smile is my favorite gift, the real ones, the ones that scrunch up your eyes. And knowing that I put a few of them there makes me happy. "

"Didn't realize you were so sappy."

Cal gave her a bashful grin and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Wasn't my first choice, but I kinda thought it would be the best…"

He watched as she slowly stood and walked around to him. "What other way were you thinking about?"

Cal looked at her. The fear was still there, but so was the desire. "Pushing you up against the wall and kissing you until you would say yes to anything I asked" Cal noticed that her face remained impassive but her breathing hitched for a moment pupils were blown until only a thin ring of blue surrounded them. She wasn't immune to him him. He could would with that. He stepped closer to her. Invading her personal space.

She wasn't immune to the man. She never was. He never seemed to notice how easily he turned her on. She figured she would be just another conquest and that would ruin the wonderful relationships they did have. Usually when he invaded her space she took a step back, she didn't this time. She stood her ground. She was trying so hard to control her reactions to him, keeping her breathing calm, her face neutral, she knew that she really couldn't do much about her eyes and well, she would just have hope he didn't notice. Hah! That that was going to happen. She was so busy trying to not react to him she almost missed how good the feeling of his hands on her face felt She wasn't sure how they had gotten there but both of his hands framed his face as he pulled her closer.

He rested his forhead on hers and said "I kick myself when I relized that I have been hiding from you for so long. Hiding the fact that I find you so beautiful that it is distracting. Doesn't have to be you physically, just hearing your voice makes me think about how much I want to touch you. When we hug, I try to imprint you on my body. I wanted to tell you about how unsatisfying our kisses are because they are always over to quickly and what I really want is to take you to the closest private place feel up your legs, up under your skirt. About How I want to give you your fantasy of being tied up, and wanting to see the look of your body, your face, your eyes, to hear your voice and I bring you pleasure. I want to touch you, to learn you, to please you so that you hunger for me at least half as much as I hunger for you. That every woman I've been with since I meet you was a way to help me forget how much I wanted you. And sometimes I had to work to keep my mouth shut to keep me from saying your name at in appropriate times. And no matter how hard I try, I still mess up.

"Don't you get it Gillian. I want everything with you. We have this company, this great working relationship, a wonderful friendship. We know each other better than anyone else. Somewhere along the way of trying not to lust after you, I fell in love with you. "

Gillian saw the sincerity in his eyes, even the hunger he spoke of. Didn't the idiot know how much she loved him, had always loved him. Even when both of them were married. Didn't he know that she accepted his proposition for the business because she wanted to be close to him. She found him fascinating, intriguing, and yes, sexy. She had given up about him ever feeling the same way about her. The other women, the wondering eye. She figured they were better off as friends. But the way he was looking at her, what he was saying, and the way she was feeling as he spoke, she wanted to take a leap. The only thing keeping her is the knowledge that one day he would figure out the truth and she wasn't sure that her heart could take that.

He saw the instant that something inside her closed her off from him. With a sigh he let her pull away. He would keep trying. He suddenly realized how important it was for her to say yes. he would wait.

"Cal, it is getting late. We should be closing up the office. Isn't Em with you tonight?" She said as if they weren't having the most important conversation of his life.

"um, No, she is with her mother for the weekend. You haven't answered my question."

Turning her back to him and picking up her things she stated, "This is neither the time nor place to answer that question. I need some time. I have lots of questions I need answers to before I can give you the answer to yours. Now Go home."

He looked at her again and couldn't read anything. She was his blind spot. But he nodded his head like a good boy and walked away.