Chapter 01 - Serve and…

The gray bunny slowly walked through the empty hallway. Her eyes still tried to adjust to the dim light of her flashlight when she carefully moved forward. Something was odd with this place.

"I have a very bad feeling about this, Nick."

She waited for the usual teasing response. But there was nothing. There wasn't a single source of sound at all. All she could hear was her own heartbeat in the darkness of this place. Where was her partner?

"This is Officer Hopps. I lost sight of Officer Wilde."

Nothing. The radio was dead. But hadn't she just called dispatch a few minutes ago?

Nick, where are you? Judy thought nervous.

She was alone.

Ok Judy. Focus. He was just behind you. Just wait for him to catch up, the young doe encouraged herself. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He can't be that far away, can he? But why couldn't she even hear him? Suddenly, her flashlight started to jitter.

"No! No! No! Please not now. Oh, sweet cheese and crackers. Nick, where are you?"

Judy wasn't afraid of the dark. Bunnies always lived underground, so there were plenty of situations without any source of light. No, it was this place which started to frighten her.

"Dispatch. This is Officer Hopps. Do you copy?" The radio remained silent.

Finally, the flashlight died but other than her expectation, there was still a weak source of light around a corner in front of her. And wasn't there also the shape of somebody at the wall? Carefully, the gray bunny started to get closer to the corner. Her nose started to twitch when she tightens the grip on her tranq gun and peeked in the crossing hallway. What she spotted there took her a load of her mind. Her missed partner stood in the center of the corridor with his back towards her.

"Nick. I'm so glad that I found you. Where have you been?" said the relieved doe as she lowered her gun and started to walk towards the red fox. But there was no reaction from him. Not even a twitch of his ears.

"Nick? Don't you hear me?" Judy spoke up. There was still no single movement of her partner. He kept staring on the floor in front of him. His shoulders and ears hung low and his tail laid flat on the floor.

"Nick! What's wrong! Please speak to me! Nick!" She yelled at top of her voice when she started to run towards her friend.

She almost reached him when he turned his head towards her. Dark strains of tears ran down the fur below his empty eyes.

"Judy," the fox spoke with a weak voice. "You are too late. Why weren't you here. Why didn't you help?"

"What are you talking about, Nick? Please, what is going on?" The gray doe shouted as she increased her speed.

Nick turned his head away again and continued staring along the corridor in front of him.

"You are too late, Judy." He spoke again. "Why weren't you here? Why Judy? Why?"

Tears started to drop from the eyes of the gray bunny as she reached Nick.

"Nick, please speak to me. What are you doing? What I'm too late f…"

What she saw in that moment reduced her to silence. How was this possible? She reached her paw for her partner next to her but she grabbed into nothing. The fox beside her was gone. She was alone with that bloody mess in front of her. The torso and the ZPD uniform were torn apart. Lifeless eyes stared towards her. A gasp escaped Judy's mouth when she puts her paws in front of it and sunk on her knees.

"No. NO! NO! This can't be. Please, it can't be." she cried in agony.

"Judy." the body in front of her suddenly spoke. Cold, lifeless eyes stared right towards her.

What? How is this possible? This can't be real, Judy thought in panic.

"Judy. Why weren't you here? I thought you are my friend."

"I am your friend. I came as fast as I could. Please, I came as fast as I could," the grey doe sobbed.

"Judy..."

"Why did you let me die?"

"No!"

Judy opened her eyes in panic. She slowly became aware of her surroundings. This was her room.

"A nightmare," the shaking bunny spoke to herself. "Just another nightmare."

The soft pitter patter of rain on her window and the usual sounds of the city helped her to finally calm down a bit. At least, the terrible silence was gone.

The grey doe reached for her alarm clock to check the time.

Just two hours of sleep so far, she thought when her paw with the clock weakly fell beside herself on the bedsheets.

There was no way that she would go back to sleep that easy. So, it was probably the best to do what also helped in the nights before. She switched on the small bedside lamp and slowly slid out of the sheets. Judy reached underneath the bed and dragged forth a small wooden crate. 'Bunnyburrows Best – Fruit juices and wine' was written in fancy letters on the cover.

Nick would have loved it, the trembling doe thought sadly when she removed the cap and took the last remaining bottle of blueberry wine.

She wasn't a drinker. Sure, since some of her uncles ran a little fruit juice production plant there was always plenty of good fruit wines at the family celebrations back at the burrows but since she was always focused on higher goals - like becoming the first bunny office of Zootopia - there was no place for stuff that would probably slow her down like alcohol. At least not too much of it.

Judy sat down at her small desk and took a large sip of the liquid treat. She closed her eyes to let herself carry away by the familiar taste. Back to better times at a better place. She could smell the fresh air of the green hills after a passing shower, she heard the laughing of her family at their annual harvest celebration and she saw the endless shades of red and brown colors on the trees all around their family's farm. She missed that good old times so much time right now. No worries. No loss. No grief.

Nick would have loved it, Judy though again, when she waged the now empty bottle in her paw. He and his blueberries.

Her purple eyes wandered to the badge in her other paw.

"Serve and protect…" she sighed silently. "Two simple tasks and I even failed them. Why wasn't I there. Why couldn't I help you? Why couldn't I protect you?"

The shield, which took her so much efforts to finally earn, slit out from shaking paws and felt to the floor. Was she even worthy to wear it anymore.

Her vision was blurred by tears and alcohol when Judy's looked to the plenty framed pictures on her desk. A lot of them showed her family but she focused on a certain one. It showed her together with some of her fellow officers.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered softly when she took it in her paws to get a better view on a certain mammal. "I wasn't there in time."

Her eyelids slowly become heavier and heavier when she was gently overwhelmed by her own tiredness.

The sound of shattering glass harshly pulled her back from Morpheus sweet embrace. The frame was slid from her paws and laid crushed on the floor next to her badge.

Was it that? Was her dream broken like the glass? Was she broken too? Judy wanted it to end. She desperately thought how she could escape the situation. The terrible memories when she was awoken and the horrors of her dreams. She had to find a way because she knew that she couldn't handle them any longer.

As a last-ditch attempt, the tired doe reached for her duty belt. Judy stared on the tranq gun in her paws. She knew about the risks of the sedative. One dart won't be that harmful, but nonetheless, she would be wasted in the morning. At least, there won't be any more nightmares. No more bad memories. No more blood. No more guilt. Nothing but a dreamless sleep and a terrible headache in the morning. And it was worth it. So, her tiny paws begun to remove one of the darts when a soft knocking was heard from the door.

"Judy? Are you alright? I heard a noise from your room." a familiar voice spoke.

"I'm fine," Judy lied. She was anything but fine right now.

"May… May I come in?" the mammal on the hallway asked worried.

"I said I'm fine. I… I just needed to drink some water," the doe lied again, unable to hide some sobs when she spoke.

"Listen Judy. I know how you feel right now. We all struggle with the loss. But you don't have to go through all of it by yourself. I'm here for you. Let me help you," the insistent mammal replied. "Please, Judy. Open the door."

Finally, Judy put down her tranq gun and the dart on the table and jumps from her chair. She carefully avoided all the broken glass on the floor, which wasn't that easy in her tipsy state and walked for the door. But how could she even watch him in the eyes.

Everything went wrong because of me, Judy thought when she put her paw at the door knob. Everything because of a dumb bunny who doesn't know about her own capabilities.

The door opened and the emerald eyes of the red fox in front of it wandered through the room. He scanned the area around the desk and sighed weakly before he focused on the little grey bunny in front of him that tried to avert his gaze. The fox took a knee down to be on the same level as the sobbing doe and gently put a paw on her shoulder.

"Carrots, please look at me. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," Nick spoke with a calm voice.

He gently moved his paw from Judy's shoulder, placing it underneath her chin and slowly lifting her face towards his. Fresh tears ran from her bloodshot amethyst eyes when she abruptly wrapped her smaller paws around him, embracing the red fox in a deep fervent hug. Nicks muzzle turned to a relieved smile when he replied the hug with one paw and softly started to stroke her droopy ears on her back

"All right there. I'm here. Everything is fine," Nick whispered to his partner.

"No," Judy sobbed and shock her head at his warm chest. "N- Nothing is fine."

The trembling of her body increased.

"Nick."

Judy lifted her head so he could see the desperation in her eyes. Eyes that usually were full of joy and encouragement. Eyes that so often proved to him that he could be more than just a shifty street hustler. He knew that the small vulnerable bunny in his arms needed all the strength he could offer to her.

"I- I don't know…"

Again, her head sought for shelter in the soft embracement of Nicks chest fur. Her tiny gray paws tightened their grip around his waist to never let it go again. Nick lowered his muzzle on top of Judy's head. Tears start to run down his own cheeks when he heard the following words.

"Nick. I don't know if I can carry on."