The Voice of Reason

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-this crazy scene popped in my head when I was watching 'The Host' on television. Set in Eclipse AU.

It started so subtly that at first Bella didn't notice the signs. Occasionally she would hear a little voice at the back of head, whispering, too quiet to be really heard. But as more time passed the voice got more vocal, it increased in volume until Bella could no longer ignore it. The first time it really made an impact was when she was spending the evening with Edward in her house, studying. Exams were coming up and the pressure to get good grades was strong. She so wanted to impress Edward. She felt she was lacking in so many areas, that she was determined she could show him that in this one thing she could shine.

"I don't understand how you can read this, Bella." Edward was looking at her notes in disapproval. He shook his head, sighing. "Your writing is illegible."

"I was rushing." Bella hung her head in shame. It wasn't the first time he had been critical over her writing. She wasn't a vampire, she couldn't write as fast as he could.

"Well at least you can borrow mine." Edward passed her his perfectly written notes.

"Tell him where to shove his notes." The voice suddenly boomed in her head. "Preferably up his chilly ass."

"No." Bella said aloud without thinking.

"No?" Edward frowned, thinking she was speaking to him. Bella had never said no to him once throughout their entire relationship. It was disturbing. "This is an important exam, Bella. You need to be prepared. I am simply offering my assistance." He lectured her.

"I wasn't talking to you." Bella said hastily as she tried to explain her momentary lapse.

"Yes you were talking to him. It's about time you said no to the controlling prick."

Bella rubbed her forehead as she tried to ignore the voice. What the hell? The pressure to prove herself worthy was stressing her out so bad she was now hearing voices.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward ducked his head and peered at her pale face. "You do look peaky. Perhaps I should do your homework tonight. I can copy your writing." He looked with distaste at her hurried scrawl.

"There he goes again taking control. Are you going to let him? Huh? Are you?"

Bella shook her head, closing her eyes as she tried to stop herself answering the sarcastic voice inside her mind. She tried to breathe deeply as she fought the panic welling up inside. "I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy." She repeated like a mantra in her head.

"No one said you're crazy, girl." The voice answered Bella's inner thoughts. "Certifiably insane, maybe. You are dating a blood sucking leech after all. I mean what sane person does that."

Bella's eyes shot open. She raised her head only to find Edward looking at her curiously. His brow was furrowed and he had that exasperated expression on his handsome face which indicated he was trying to read her mind. Bella was glad that he couldn't. Jeez, if he knew the crazy things that were going on in her head he would have her straight down the hospital to see Carlisle for a psyche test.

"I'm not crazy." The voice declared stoutly. "I am the voice of reason."

"Oh god." Bella mumbled. She smiled sheepishly at Edward. "You know I do feel a bit under the weather." She said to him.

"Liar."

"Shut up." Bella hissed.

"What did you say?" Edward questioned.

"Give him the proverbial finger." The voice laughed.

"I'm going to lie down, Edward. Um…I'll see you later. Bye." Bella stood up and tried to flee the room, but she ended up tripping over the chair.

"Nothing like a graceful exit, girl." The voice's tone was full of sarcasm.

Edward was by Bella's side in an instant. He steadied her before putting his arm around her waist. Bella shivered at his touch.

"Eww…how can you stand it?" The voice cringed. "His fingers are all clammy. Get off, creep."

"He is not a creep." Bella had meant to answer the annoying voice in her head but the words came out of her mouth instead. She clamped her hand over her mouth as her cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment. She gazed at a disgruntled Edward apologetically. "I wasn't talking to you." Her voice was muffled as she spoke through her splayed fingers.

"Then who were you talking to?" Edward asked indignantly. He let go of her waist and stood stiffly in front of her.

"No one." Bella mumbled.

"You really do need that lie down." Edward peered into her face with his golden brown eyes. "Come on I'll escort you upstairs and perhaps later we can take you to see Carlisle."

"Not Count Dracula!" The voiced wailed in mock horror. "He'll have you strapped to a gurney so he can begin the bloodletting faster than you can say one of your holy crows."

Bella's head was reeling. She leaned on Edward as he half carried her up the stairs, all the while trying to ignore the voice which was getting louder and louder in her head.

At last he was gone. Bella sighed in relief. It wasn't that she didn't want Edward there but his constant scrutiny could be tiring. She had lain on her bed pretending to sleep for hours. He lay beside her, his cold arm cradling her against his cold chest as he kept a constant vigil over her. Every time she shifted, fidgeted or breathed too fast, Edward was there, his expression full of concern, his eyes anxious. As the minutes ticked by excruciatingly slowly the annoying voice kept up a stream of profanities, pushing, urging her to kick Edward out of her room so she could rest in peace. Peace! That was ironic. There was no peace now.

"You need to grow a back bone."

"Leave me alone." Bella hissed angrily.

"At last you show some spirit." The voice sneered. "Why didn't you show some of that spunk earlier?"

"My relationship with Eddie…Edward is none of your business." Bella spat. "Get out of my head."

"No can do, girlie."

Bella groaned and put her head in her hands. "I'm going mad."

"You're not wrong there. But don't worry I'm here to put you back on the straight and narrow."

"Who the hell are you?" Bella asked aloud as she took her hands away from her face. She glanced around her bedroom nervously as if expecting the ghost of Christmas past to come out of the shadows and bite her.

"I told you." The voice sighed irritably. "I'm the voice of reason. Don't you remember anything I've said?"

"This isn't real." Bella shook her head trying to clear it. "I'm just stressed that's all. You don't exist. I'm fine."

"Oh god." The voice drawled. "Have it your way, girl. Pretend I don't exist. But you can't get rid of me. I'm here to stay until the job is done."

"I'm not listening. La La La…." Bella put her hands over her ears and sang loudly to drown out the voice. It would work. It had to.

Bella was a nervous wreck. Days had gone past and she was still hearing the voice. It had gotten her into heaps of trouble. Right now she was serving her third detention of the week after accidentally calling Mr Varner a rude SOB. The words had slipped out of her mouth by accident as she answered the voice which was jeering at her to call the teacher out on his bullshit. It had been mortifying. The look on Edward's face had to be seen to be believed. He was disgusted with both her foul language and her unruly behaviour.

"I refuse to keep you company this time, Bella." He had scolded her like a two year old. "Perhaps being alone will give you time to think. You have been acting out all week. I just cannot understand what has gotten into you recently. I will pick you up after you have served your time." He made it sound like a prison sentence.

Bella sat at the back of the room with the other delinquents as she tried to avoid Mr Varner's eye as he stared at her penetratingly. She was one of the good girls. His disappointment in her could not be denied. Bella sighed as she looked at the blank sheet of paper in front of her. She was supposed to be writing a two thousand word essay on the… she couldn't remember what. She scowled as she screwed up the paper. Bella had a sudden urge to lob the rolled up paper at Mr Varner's head, but she couldn't risk it. So far Charlie was in the dark about her move to the dark side. If she caused more upset Mr Varner might make good on his threat and ring the police chief. Bella didn't want that. She unscrewed the paper and smoothed it out.

"You could always just walk out." The voice suggested easily.

"I'm not listening to you." Bella mumbled under her breath.

"He can't keep you here."

"He's the teacher." Bella pointed out sarcastically. "He's in charge."

"He's just a man." The voice continued sardonically. "A man with very bad breath I might add. Eww…"

Bella giggled despite herself. It was true. Mr Varner did have bad breath. He was forever sucking on peppermints to try and cure it but to no avail. "Is there something you find amusing, Ms Swan? Would you like to share it with the rest of us?"

Bella blushed. "Um…no." She muttered.

"I didn't quite hear you." Mr Varner stood up, popping a mint into his mouth and chewing on it as he spoke. "Why don't you stand up and let us all know what you find so funny about detention?"

"Tell him you can't breathe the same air because his breath stinks."

"No." Bella was aghast.

"NO?" Mr Varner's expression darkened. "Are you refusing to do as you're told, Ms Swan?"

"No." Bella replied in a small voice.

"Speak up." Mr Varner demanded. The other teenagers in the class snickered. The teacher began to play up to them, determined to show Bella who was the boss. "Stand up, Ms Swan, and tell us what you find so funny."

"Don't put up with his crap, girl." The voice urged Bella again. "Stand up for yourself."

Bella scraped her chair back and stood up on wobbly legs. Her skin was on fire with embarrassment. "I wasn't laughing." She mumbled.

"Really?" Mr Varner spat sarcastically. "Come now, Ms Swan. You can do better than that. Has the cat got your tongue? Mmmm…."

"Don't speak to me like that." Bella squeaked. The voice in her head made a choking noise. Bella could envision the eye roll it was making. She was giving the voice eyes now. Jeez, she was definitely losing it. Mr Varner continued to jeer at her. The class laughed, joining in. Bella thought if her skin got any hotter it would combust. This was what it must feel like for Jacob when he was about to turn wolf. Thinking about her erstwhile best friend gave Bella confidence. She hadn't seen him properly since Edward had come back into her life. She had tried to call him but he refused to speak on the phone, instead they had been exchanging hand written insults to each other via their fathers.

"Well it seems as if Ms Swan has turned mute." Mr Varner raised his hands as if playing to his audience.

"Say it, say it, say it." The voice chanted in her head.

Bella was bursting to speak. The other teenagers laughed louder as they continued to enjoy the show. Detention was boring at the best of times so they decided to milk this one for as long as they could. They began to jeer and shout names at Bella.

"Alright, you want to know the reason I was laughing." Bella couldn't hold it in any longer.

"And why is that?" Mr Varner pulled another mint out of his pocket and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Because your breath reeks so bad that I can't breathe the same air." Bella said loudly.

Silence.

Bella's ears were still ringing from the principal's ticking off. She had really done it this time. Charlie was going to be notified about her bad behaviour. It wasn't going to be tolerated. The dreaded word suspension was mentioned. Edward would be livid. Charlie would be mad. Her life was going to hell and it was….

"ALL YOUR FAULT!" Bella yelled at the voice in her head. She was standing in the parking lot with a letter to Charlie held tightly in her fist.

"Don't blame me." Said the voice of reason. "I didn't make you do anything."

"You told me to say it." Bella replied in disbelief.

"Maybe, but it was your choice to follow through." The voice pointed out reasonably.

"But, but….ugh!" Bella screamed and chucked the letter to Charlie on the ground. She jumped up and down on it like a five year old, crumpling it into dust. "I hate you, you stupid voice. I hate you. You're not the voice of reason, you're….you're the voice of…DOOM!"

"Yawn."

"Dammit." Bella scowled as she realised what she was doing. She needed to take control. She was losing it. "Now look what you made me do. I was supposed to give this to Charlie."

"Tsk…how old are you again? I have never had the indignity of being stuck in such a childish brain before." The voice yawned again as if it was bored. "You really need to learn to grow up."

"Piss off." Bella snapped.

"Gladly."

"Good." Bella huffed. The silence was deafening. She heaved a sigh of relief. Blessed silence. She looked at the ground. The letter to Charlie was definitely not salvageable. Her father was going to pitch a fit. Edward would be even worse. Bella didn't think she could endure another lecture from him or endure his sickening disappointment. Ugh. What was she supposed to do now?

"Call Jacob."

"I thought I told you to piss off."

"Just stating the obvious, girl. There's no need to be rude." The voice sniffed indignantly.

"Whatever." Bella muttered. She bit her lip pensively as she considered the voice of reasons idea. For something that was supposed to be steering her in the right direction it had gotten her into a whole heap of trouble. Could she really risk taking its advice again?

"You know you want to."

"Fuck off."

"Language, Ms Swan." The voice imitated Mr Varner's sneering tone to perfection.

Bella couldn't help the wry smile crossing her face. She dug her cell phone out of her pocket and pulled up Jacob's number. She knew he would ride to her rescue even if he was mad at her. He answered on the second ring. "Go away."

"I need help." Bella said quickly before he put the phone down.

"Call the leech."

"I'm calling you." Bella replied in her softest tone. She knew it would make him melt. "I need my best friend, Jacob."

"Dammit, Bells." Jacob grouched. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the school parking lot. Can you pick me up?" Bella begged.

"I'll be there in ten." Jacob muttered. "Don't move."

"I won't. I promise." Bella smiled as she ended the call.

"Do you even realise what you're doing right now?" The voice questioned innocently.

"Freezing my ass off in the rain." Bella retorted.

"No, you're smiling." The voice of reason said softly taking Bella by surprise.

A/N-thanks for reading!