*Dances into the room flinging confetti everywhere*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

*Does a summer salt*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

*Pops one of those party popper things*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MEEEEEEEE

*Shovels Mallowment aggressively into my mouth*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

*Jazz hands*

Enjoy this chapter as my reverse birthday gift.

"We're moving to Australia."

"I'll get the passports and fake IDs. I assume we'll both need to create a separate identity?" Biana said, not even looking up from her book.

Collapsing on her bed so my head was in her lap, I nodded. "I think I want to be named Eleanor Valdez."

Still completely focused on her reading, she said "Nice to meet you, Eleanor Valdez, I'm Mara Blackwood. Will this move require a drastic change in appearance, or can we just change our hair and call it good?"

"Nothing too big. I think I'd look good as a redhead, don't you? Kinda like a Weasley." I twirled a lock of my hair around my finger, trying to imagine how it'd look.

Biana finally looked up from her book, face lighting up at the idea of a makeover. "You would look amazing as a redhead! Oh, and we could cut your hair, maybe just above your shoulder so it frames your face... The contrast would be wonderful! Red is truly your colour, it would bring out the gold in your eyes... Yes! Oh, I'm so excited! When are we moving?" Her hands were running through my hair as she spoke, her tone getting progressively more enthusiastic as she went on.

One of the many things I love about Biana is her blind loyalty. I could call her at 3:00 A.M., tell her I've killed somebody, and she would bring a body bag and ask no questions.

"As soon as you can get those fake IDs."

She hummed thoughtfully, still stroking my hair. "That'll take a few days. In the meantime, you wanna tell me what's really going on?"

I thought about that for a minute, before responding, "No, not really."

"You can't just run away from your feelings, Cariño."

"You're really milking those Spanish lessons for all you can get, huh?"

"Okay," Biana huffed, "first of all, I want to learn more about my culture! Second, don't change the subject here."

Sighing, I closed my eyes, still sprawled on the bed with my head in her lap, Biana's fingers soothingly stroking my hair. "But it's easier to just... move to Australia, adopt a new name, and leave all my feelings here. I don't know how to deal with emotions. So I'm not going to. Problem solved, we all can live happily ever after and skip off into the rainbow."

I couldn't tell if the sound Biana made was a chuckle or a coo as she responded, "Oh, honey, but what happens when you find a guy in Australia and fall in love again? Would we run away to Mexico this time?"

"I never said this was about Keefe."

"You're just that obvious when talking about your crushes."

"Am not." I mumbled.

"Are too."

"I'mma fight you behind an abandoned Wendy's, you know that?"

"Looking forward to it. But you can't run away from your feelings forever, you know!"

"Watch me!"

0o0o0

It is the middle of the night. We have school tomorrow. So one would think that everyone would be asleep.

But alas, one would be wrong, as evidenced by the insistant knocking at my door.

What idiot was knocking on my door at 2:32 A.M.?

"Foster? Biana? You two alive in there?"

Oh. It was my idiot.

Rising from my soft, warm, beautiful bed was quite possibly the hardest thing ever. But if I didn't get up, Keefe would probably be knocking all night long, and that situation would just be bad for everyone. So, with great difficulty, I managed to stand and walk over to the door, dragging my blanket along with me.

Yanking open the door harder that I knew I could, I came face to face with a sheepish Keefe Sencen. "You better have a good reason for waking me up on a school night, Keefe."

"I do, I promi- I'm sorry, is that a blue elephant in a Hawaiian t-shirt? Or am I hallucinating?" I glanced down, realising that in my rush, I still had Ella clutched in my hands.

Not sure what to say, I avoided eye contact, cheeks burning. "...Maybe." Keefe cocked his head, a small smile on his lips. "Did you come here for a reason, or are you just here to make fun of Ella?"

He began to reply, but was cut off by his own giggle. "'Ella'? You named your blue elephant in a Hawaiian t-shirt 'Ella'? Glaring at him, I closed the door on his face. That ought to teach him to make fun of me while I'm sleepy. "Wait, no, I'm sorry! I love your blue elephant in a Hawaiian shirt!"

I cracked the door, peeking through the small gap. "See, I named her Ella so people wouldn't have to say 'Blue elephant in a Hawaiian t-shirt'!"

"My apologies. I love Ella."

I smiled, opening the door a little wider. "See, that's much easier." Keefe grinned. "So, what do you want?"

He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Well, see, I uhh... sorta told my sister... that I had a girlfriend, and, uh... spoiler: I don't. So, she... er... she invited me to a horse wedding and told me to bring my girlfriend... but the problem is... I don't... have a girlfriend. So I need you to be my fake girlfriend and come with me to a horse wedding."

I blinked once, twice, three times, trying to make sense of anything he just said. "You need me to- what?"

"Be my fake girlfriend to a horse wedding." Keefe had the decency to look sheepish.

"A... 'horse wedding'?"

"Yeah."

"What exactly is a... 'horse wedding'?"

Keefe shrugged, looking slightly lost. "It's hard to explain." I looked at him, eyes narrowed, utterly baffled. "Okay so... It's just... we'll just be watching Glitterbutt and Greyfall get married."

"You say that like it makes things clear."

"Uh, they're my horses. Well, they're not my horses, they're my sister's horses. Well, she's not technically my sister, she's my ex bodyguard."

I tried to speak, but all that came out of my mouth was useless sputtering noises. How was he making less and less sense? "Look, it's not important, but we need to be there in five hours, and it's a four hour drive, so we need to leave."

"What, right now? Keefe, It's the middle of the night, and I still have no idea what's happening!"

"Okay, what are the two of you on about?" Biana asked, from the other side of the room, having probably been woken up by out conversation.

I sighed, "If you can figure out, please tell me. I have no idea what's going on."

"It's simple really. I need Foster to be my fake date to a horse wedding because my sister/not sister/ex bodyguard thinks I have a girlfriend and wants to meet her."

I watched as Biana had the same reaction I did a while ago before just lying back down. "I'm going back to sleep. Have her home by midnight or I will pry your toenails off with a pair of dull tweezers."

"Okie Dokie. Alright, Foster, let's go!"

0o0o0

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." I grumbled in the passenger seat of Keefe's (very expensive looking) car.

Keefe just chuckled, glancing over at me before focusing once again on the road. Cuddling up in the blanket I brought, I turned away from the bane of my existence. "I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when we get to this 'horse wedding'."

"Sure thing, Foster. You enjoy your nap."

"G'night."

0o0o0

"You're lost, aren't you?"

"Shut up, I know exactly where I am!"

"Oh for the love of- Just ask for directions!"

"No!"

0o0o0

"Hey, Foster, I'm stopping at 7-11 to get some coffee, do you want anything?"

"I want the last three hours of my life back."

"Chocolate donut it is."

0o0o0

"I spy with my little eye something blue."

"Is it the car next to us?"

"No."

"Is it your eyes in the rearview mirror?"

"No."

"Is it the sky?"

"Yup!"

"That's so boring, Keefe."

0o0o0

"I spy with my little eye something blue."

"Is it that wrapper on the ground?"

"No."

"Is it my pants?"

"No."

"Is it the lake?"

"No."

"...Is it the sky?"

"Yep."

"Didn't you already use that one?"

0o0o0

"I spy with my little eye something blue."

"It better not be the sky."

"You gotta guess."

"Fine. Is it the sky?

"Bingo."

"I'm gonna kill you."

0o0o0

"I spy with my little eye something blue."

"Keefe. This is the fourth time in a row you've used the sky, pick something else!"

0o0o0

"I can't believe we're late. Ro is going to behead the pair of us. If you want to have a dramatic declarations of love, now is your last chance."

"Yes. I do. I would like the world to know that I love donuts."

"Noted for the records."

0o0o0

"Got any cool stories to fill the time, Foster?"

"Yeah, I got one about how I went crazy because I was stuck in a car with Keefe Sencen for five hours. Spoiler alert: It ends with me killing you."

"You're a hoot."

0o0o0

The car stopped. Looking up, I saw a classic farm, completed with the red building and corn field. "At last, we arrive. Two hours late."

Before I could reply, there was a screech that sounded like what a dragon would if they existed. "KEEFE. HUCKLEBERRY. SENCEN. YOU ARE ONE HOUR AND FIFTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATE. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" I whipped around, finding a huge, pink-haired woman standing behind us, looking very angry. If I was less terrified of said pink-haired woman, I might have paid more attention to the fact that Keefe's middle name was Huckleberry.

Keefe just grinned, which was not the appropriate response for this scary of a situation. "Sorry, Ro. Traffic was terrible."

Oh, so that was Ro. Huh. I'm not sure what she had pictured, but seven feet of muscle wasn't it. Startling silver eyes mer my brown ones as Ro sized me up. "He got lost, didn't he?" I nodded, and Keefe glared at me, as if personally betrayed. I shrugged at him, not sorry in the least. "I'm so sorry you have to put up with him."

"I know, it's awful." I replied, matching her playful tone with my own.

Keefe groaned, tossing his head back. "I can't believe you two have ganged up on me. This is so not fair."

Ro and I shared a grin, before she spoke again. "Alright, now who is ready to see Glitterbutt get married?"

This was going to be interesting.

0o0o0

"Are you ever going to explain exactly what a horse wedding is, or am I supposed to figure that out myself?" I whispered to Keefe as we trailed behind Ro, who was leading us to a stable.

"You'll see." Great. That's exactly what I needed. Vague, evasive answers. Fantastic.

Ro glanced at us. "What are you two lovebirds whispering about back there? Gossiping about my awesome hair?"

"No, we're gossiping about your horrible hair." Keefe retorted, smirk on his face almost too cheeky to comprehend.

Ro whipped around, giving him a dangerous glare. "You wanna repeat that, punk?

The grin fell off Keefe's face faster than you could blink. "No Ma'am." Satisfied, Ro turned back around.

"What was that about?"

"Last time I insulted her hair, she dropped me in the lake when I was sleeping, and I really don't want a repeat of that."

Shaking my head, I sighed. This was going to be a crazy day, apparently.

I like how this chapter turned out, but I'm not sure if I like how I wrote Ro... Might change it later. But I got to go to the doctor now (on my birthday, which sucks, but whatever), so yea

I just love banter.

Bye my Lovelies!