A/N: Hello! First of all I'm shite at summaries, so apologies.

I know canon versions of this story have been done many times, so excuse me for adding mine to the pile and I hope you don't find it repetitive. I've been working on this story for 9 months, she is my child and I have finally carried her to full term and now she's out in the world. Each chapter is named after a Queen song because I am 1000% certain that Lily and Sirius are both huge fans.

An enormous thank you to my darling beta Katie, who has put in almost as many hours as myself, provided countless words of encouragement, advice and guidance, and helped me edit this story to a level where I'm ready to share. Thank you to everyone who read little bits along the way; and, thank you to anyone who takes the time out of their day to read this.

Rated M due to language, however later in the story will include suggestive adult themes.

CHAPTER ONE: HAMMER TO FALL

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. Her tongue was quicker than her brain when she said, "Fine. I won't bother you in future."

She turned to leave, trying to put as much distance between herself and the crowd that had formed by the lake. She heard shouting after her but ignored it for fear that her emotions would tumble out if she opened her mouth again. The sound of footsteps behind her told her she was being followed, that the person behind her was in a short jog to keep up. She saw the dark curls and olive skin of her best friend as she fell in step beside her but said nothing. They made their way through the castle, and Lily was thankful it was so desolate; she was close to the edge and she wasn't even sure if she would make it to Gryffindor tower before she overflowed.

"Carpe noctem," Marlene said, and the portrait of The Fat Lady swung open.

The common room was bare, save for a few first years searching the room for the last of their possessions to be packed before the train back to London in the morning. Lily all but ran up the stairs to the fifth year girls dormitory, collapsing on her bed as her body began to shake with sobs. Marlene closed the door gently behind them and moved to sit beside Lily on her bed. Still there was no speaking, but they had been friends for 5 years; they didn't need words to communicate anymore. Marlene held Lily as she let the tears out, and Lily was thankful to her friend for not offering her commentary on the situation. She knew Marlene's opinion on Severus was not a great one, but up until that moment down by the lake, Lily had refused to believe her.

She couldn't believe after 7 years - after everything they had shared with each other - that's what he thought of her. Hindsight was always crystal clear, and if she hadn't been so set on seeing the good in him she would have been able to prepare a bit better for the pain his words caused. Their time at Hogwarts together hadn't been the easiest, what with being sorted into houses who had been rivals since the opening of the school. But it seemed as Lily now looked back, that they had been drifting further apart for some time. She could kick herself for taking so long to notice.

Her thoughts drifted back to the moment she first found out she was a witch. It had been Severus who had explained it to her, had told her all about Hogwarts and the wizarding world.

She had asked him that day, "Is it bad if you're muggle born?"

He had assured her it wasn't, but all his actions since then had contradicted that statement. Her body shook as she choked out another sob. Her throat ached, her eyes stung, and she wondered how there was any water left at all to keep producing tears.

Marlene's arms wrapped around her tighter, and she leaned into the embrace. Marlene kissed the top of her head, and Lily willed herself to control her breathing. She looked around the room, trying to find anything that could take her mind off her inner turmoil. She was shocked to find the sun had been replaced with the moon; she felt like she had only been up here for a half hour at most. Marlene's stomach rumbled next to her head, causing Lily to look up.

"You can go down to dinner Marls; I'll be okay."

"I'm not going anywhere," Marlene assured her. "Plus - and don't tell anyone about this - I've got a secret stash hidden under my bed in case of emergencies."

Lily smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Marlene could tell the worst was over, and suggested Lily go get in the bath to freshen up.

"Are you suggesting I go drown myself? I might just take you up on that offer," Lily said, a feeble attempt at a joke.

Marlene threw a pillow at her as she made her way to the bathroom door.

"Lily Evans, do you ever tire of being so dramatic?" Marlene teased.

Lily felt herself smile. "Oh, ha ha Marlene, you are ever so witty."

"Please, the only other person I can think of who might surpass you in dramatic antics is Potter and he-"

"What!" Lily shrieked. She was part way through getting undressed for the bath and came running out in her underwear, wand pointed threateningly at Marlene.

"Don't make me hex you."

Marlene found it hard to be intimidated by her in her almost-nudity, and Lily had to admit she probably looked mad as Merlin right now. Marlene burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" She said between gasps of laughter.

Lily flicked her wand as she walked back into the bathroom, and Marlene's shirt flew up to cover her face. Lily could hear the muffled laughter as she turned the taps off and stepped into the soothing warmth of the bath. She had always thought there was something very magical (in a muggle way) about baths and their ability to make you feel better. The enchanted baths of Hogwarts only increased that ability by tenfold; Lily was able to float calmly in the water until her whole body was wrinkled, and even still she refused to get out. It was only when she heard a knock at the door that she opened her eyes again, and realised all the bubbles had disappeared. She scrambled for a way to cover herself, sighing with relief when she saw Marlene peep around the door.

"We've got a delivery!" Marlene cheered.

The smell of roast pork and all the fixings wafted through to the bathroom. Lily hadn't realised how hungry she was until precisely that moment. She heard Marlene laugh as she scrambled out of the tub and reached for a robe. Her hair was still dripping, but she made her way back to her bed and helped herself to the giant plate of food waiting for her. Marlene had an identical one in front of her on her own bed. Lily's mouth watered and she stuffed one of everything in.

"'Ow 'id 'is 'et 'er?"

Marlene looked at her bewildered, and Lily slowed down and swallowed before she tried again.

"How did this get here?" Lily asked.

"I'll never reveal my secrets!" Marlene smirked.

Lily rolled her eyes and tucked back into her food.

"Did you manage to get-"

"As if I'd forget," Marlene interrupted, using her wand to levitate a plate full of pudding over to Lily's bed.

Lily should have known, but she giggled anyway as the dish floated towards her. She had no idea how she would have ever gotten anywhere in her life without Marlene. They sat in a comfortable silence; a combination of consumed by the food in front of them, as well as their own thoughts. Lily thought back again over the events of this afternoon. She had cried all she could about it, and vowed to herself she wouldn't get upset like that over it again. She knew her friendship with Severus was over, and there was no possible way to repair it. She was still worried for what that meant for him. His obsession with dark magic had only grown during the course of their friendship, and who knows how far he might go now. She frowned at the thought.

"How did you go on your exam, anyway?" Marlene asked.

Lily had almost forgotten there was another person in the dorm with her.

"Merlin's beard, Marlene, let's not talk about school work and exams for at least the next 6 weeks, possibly ever again," Lily groaned.

She discarded her empty plate on her nightstand then laid back on her bed. As she pulled her covers up she turned to face Marlene in the bed next to her own. Marlene used her wand to dim the lamps in their dorm, then laid to face Lily in her own bed.

"You should come stay with me over the summer, Lils. Adam is starting his auror training so I'll be dead bored," Marlene suggested.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude," Lily said back halfheartedly.

"Look I was trying to be subtle, but I know Sniv- Snape only lives up the street, and no doubt he'll be bothering you all summer to beg for your forgiveness because let's be honest - everyone loves you and would die without your friendship-"

"And I'm the dramatic one."

"Just take the compliment, would you? Anyway what I was saying, is that you'll need to get away from his pestering over the holidays, and I was giving you an out so you could pretend you were doing something for me when really; really, I'm your best friend, and I have been for a long time, and I know that asking for help isn't something you really do but you need it and I'm here," she rushed to get out.

A tear escaped Lily's eye again at the end of Marlene's speech, and she pulled back the covers of her own bed so she could jump onto Marlene's.

"Thank you," Lily whispered as she squeezed her best friend.

"I only ask for your eternal gratitude as payment." Marlene squeezed her back.

Lily rolled her eyes and settled back into her own bed. As she did so, the door to their dormitory opened and the rest of their roommates walked in together. Lily saw as they all looked over at her bed, seeing if she was okay. She smiled to show she was and closed the hangings around her bed. She would be, at least.

Lily was in the backseat of her parents' Ford Escort, making the journey from London back to her hometown of Cokeworth. Petunia had refused to come, which was unsurprising. She had refused to anything she could that had to do with Lily, ever since she had learned she was a witch. But this time it stung a little more than usual; not only did Petunia not want to see her sister after 6 months, the company she chose to keep instead of her was just downright insulting.

When Lily was home for Christmas, Petunia had announced to the family she was seeing someone. Lily thought it was brilliant, and Petunia might become more agreeable with someone in her life. She couldn't have been more wrong if she tried.

Petunia had met Vernon Dursley through a friend of a friend, at a dinner party last fall. He was quite possibly, the most boring person Lily had ever met in her life (and she had to sit through lessons with Professor Binns). Petunia had invited him to dinner the evening before Lily was due to go back to Hogwarts. She was adamant that Lily was not expose her 'inner freak' to Vernon whilst he was here. As such, Lily did not talk for most of the night. For when Vernon wasn't droning on about how well he was doing at his new job (a drill company, how could anyone find so much to say about drills?), Petunia was gushing about the night they had met. Lily couldn't get a word in, even if she had wanted to.

And so it was that Lily found herself in the backseat of the car stewing over Vernon Dursley. She wasn't a shallow person, but she could not understand what Petunia saw in him. He was round and beefy, with small beetle-sized eyes, and a large twisted moustache. Lily gagged at the thought of it.

The sun had set by the time they had pulled into the driveway of the Evans family home. Lily helped her father heave her trunk out of the boot, and dragged it up the stairs to her bedroom. Rather than bother taking anything out of it, she went back downstairs and set to work helping her mother fix something for tea. She was in the middle of cutting carrots when the front door opened, and in walked Petunia with Vernon in tow. Lily barely held in a groan as she looked to her mother for help. When locking eyes with her mother, however, she noticed that rather than the shock she expected, she looked guilty. Lily had been betrayed by her own parents.

"Mum, you knew and you didn't warn me?" Lily whispered.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic dear. You seemed in a bad mood already and your father and I didn't want to push it," was her mother's response.

"Yeah, this is a much better way to break the news to me," Lily grumbled.

She washed her hands and stepped into the living room, where Petunia and Vernon were now greeting her father.

"Hi Tuney," Lily mumbled.

Petunia looked at her like she smelled something awful at the use of her old nickname.

"You remember Vernon, don't you Lily?" She asked.

"How could I forget…" Lily mumbled under her breath.

It seemed she wasn't as quiet as she thought she'd been, as her father snorted softly. Lily made eye contact with him as he winked. At least her dad was on the same team as her. They moved to sit around the dining table, and Lily helped her mother bring out some drinks. She tried to stay in the kitchen with her to help with the rest of dinner, but her Mum insisted she catch up with her sister and her boyfriend. Lily sat down beside her father, and once again listened to Vernon drone on and on about his job. Apparently, he'd recently been offered a promotion.

It felt like an eon had passed by the time she was served dinner. She had just picked up her fork as Vernon tapped his glass. She tried to mask her disdain with a polite smile, but she wasn't sure that she had fooled anyone.

"I'd like to say something, before we eat," Vernon confessed. He turned to Petunia before continuing, "Petunia, it would be an honour if you would say yes to becoming my wife."

Three forks clattered to their plates. Lily looked to her parents for an explanation, but found they were just as shocked as she was. Petunia was staring at Vernon in shock and Lily noticed Vernon had started to sweat profusely.

"Yes!" Petunia had shrieked.

Lily's parents clapped and raised their glasses to cheers around the table. Lily's hand raised her glass robotically, but she wasn't sure if she actually made contact with anyone else. For the rest of the evening she ran on autopilot; she ate her dinner without tasting it, she couldn't even remember what was on her plate. As soon as she was finished, she excused herself from the table and made her way up to her room.

Fuck, she thought.

A slight tapping on her window pulled her out of her thoughts, and she opened the window to let in a small horned owl. Her parents had bought Agathe for her when she had been named prefect last summer. The owl hooted softly as Lily opened the window. She dug a couple of treats out of her trunk, and Agathe nipped her affectionately in appreciation. Lily noticed the small note tied to her ankle, and gently untied it to read. She recognised the narrow scrawl as Severus's almost immediately. He must have gone up to the owlery before they left this morning. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to open it, and she probably shouldn't. She tossed it in the bin beside her desk and flopped face down on her bed. What a shit end to the year.

Sirius sighed. It was raining and he felt so cliche, and that was usually James's thing. He'd flown there on his broomstick and copped the full brunt of the storm; in summary he was drenched. James knew he was coming of course. It had all happened so quickly but he'd made sure to get the message to James before he left the Black household earlier that night.

He'd had the biggest fight he could remember with his mother. Fighting with her was nothing new, he was sure he'd been born disagreeing with her but this was something else. She was on his case - once again - about upholding the family values. What values, he wasn't exactly sure. He knew his parents thought Voldemort was onto something, and they absolutely hated the fact that he had friends who weren't purebloods. It was the same fight they always had, but Sirius snapped. He couldn't take it anymore, and he'd called his mother a 'fucking dragon-faced hag' and stormed upstairs to his bedroom. He knew he had about 3 minutes before she barged in and hexed him within an inch of his life, so he pulled the 2-way mirror out from his side table.

"PROOOOONGS," He yelled. "PRONGS ANSWER ME!"

James's untidy head appeared almost immediately. "What?"

"I'm on my way," Sirius said.

James understood it was urgent and with that Sirius had hastily grabbed a couple of things and jumped on his broom and out the window. His mother still aimed a curse at him and he felt it whiz past his ear as he sped away.

Now he was standing out the front of the Potter's, half regretting his decision. The rain had made it through to his underwear, and he was shivering as he knocked on the door. Mrs. Potter opened the door and audibly gasped.

"Sirius! Get inside, quickly, quickly, that's it."

She ushered him into the kitchen and he sat down at the small eat-in table.

"Are you alright, dear?" She asked, a frown of concern crossing her features.

"Have been better, Mrs. P," he tried to joke.

James walked into the kitchen at that moment, and the look of surprise that crossed his features was almost comical.

"Oh, er, so you're here already then," James spluttered.

"Excellent analysis of the situation, Prongs," Sirius retorted.

"Right, well. Mum, can Sirius stay with us? Like, indefinitely?" James exchanged a look with Sirius to confirm the length of stay. "Yeah, indefinitely."

"Oh Sirius, of course you can. Monty and I have been so worried about you in that house… James, go and get him some dry clothes, will you? You must be freezing dear. I'll get Winky to fix you some soup," she said.

A loud crack sounded and Winky, the Potters' small and timid house elf, appeared beside Euphemia in the kitchen. She set to work fixing Sirius a bowl of leftover soup, while James and Sirius went upstairs to his room to get him changed. James picked a shirt and a pair of pants off the ground, sniffed them and threw them in Sirius's direction.

"Cheers," Sirius said.

James grinned and flopped on his bed. Sirius stripped off his wet clothes, dropping them in a pile on the floor by James's bed. He also sniffed the clothes for good measure, figured they were okay and put them on. Now that he was considerably warmer, he felt a bit more comfortable.

"So," James opened.

"So," Sirius countered.

"Did the old bat nearly kill you?" James finally asked.

Sirius grinned. "She definitely gave it her best shot."

"I'm glad you're here, mate. We're brothers now, you know. 'Sirius Potter' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" James joked.

"If we're brothers, does that mean I'm the heir to the Potter throne?" Sirius pondered.

"Oh, fuck off you twat," James countered.

"Now James, that's no way to talk to your older brother," Fleamont Potter chimed in, standing in the doorway to James's room with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"HA!" Sirius cried victoriously.

"I'm moving out," James grumbled.

"Boys, your soup is ready!" Euphemia called up the stairs.

They raced each other down the stairs, knocking into the wall and tripping each other over as they went. Two scorching hot bowls of onion soup were laid out on the table, a slice of bread for each, and a goblet of pumpkin juice. Sirius tucked in immediately, not caring if his tongue burned. He had just realised how extremely hungry he was, having walked out before dinner was served earlier tonight. James gave an appreciative glance towards his mum before digging in just as messily as Sirius.

It took Sirius about a month to completely feel at ease in the Potter household. The first week he was still dealing with the trauma of his own family, and he wasn't really sure what to about that. He didn't want to talk about it at all; but somehow, in that way that best-friends-who-are-now-your-brother do, James was able to get it out of him. In dribs and drabs at first, and then all at once. Much in the same way that James had casually asked if his mother nearly killed him, Sirius would let go of bits of information. The argument; the way he had snapped and opened his mouth before thinking (one of Sirius's most prominent traits); the fear he had for his life.

The guilt he felt for leaving Regulus stuck in that awful house with his lunatic parents was the hardest part for him. They had been through so much in that house together, and he knew Regulus would be hurt that he'd left him behind. That was the hardest part to tell James about. Partly, because he didn't actually have any siblings of his own, so he couldn't really understand the bond Sirius shared with his own. But also, because Sirius felt like he was kind of betraying James, Remus, and Peter in a way for even just being related to him. He couldn't explain it really in words even to himself, and he wasn't sure James understood much of his ramblings on the topic. Sirius was just grateful that he was there to vent to about everything, grateful to James's parents for taking him in without a second thought.

After the first two weeks, it got easier for him. He had let go of the baggage (not entirely, of course; this was Sirius and he was nothing if not broody and handsome), and it was easier to feel like himself again. He and James had taken to spending their days in the field out the back of the Potter's playing games of mock quidditch. James was hoping to be named Captain of the Gryffindor team this year, so he was glad to have Sirius around to practice with. Sirius wasn't the best keeper (he preferred being a beater - there was just something about whacking a bludger and it hurtling towards a Slytherin that was so therapeutic for him), but since James was a star chaser it was Sirius's duty as a best friend to help him train. James had just scored his 32nd goal in a row (Sirius really was shit at keeping) when Euphemia's otter patronus brought them a message.

"Your father and I are due to leave for the Ministry Gala shortly boys, and I don't like the idea of you out here by yourselves. Winky is preparing tea for you now, should be ready by the time you get back inside and wash up," Euphemia's voice spoke from the silvery otter in front of them.

They flew back to the house on their brooms and stored them in them in a small shed by the back door. As they walked in, Euphemia and Fleamont were just walking downstairs to leave through the living room fireplace. Euphemia and Fleamont both gave them each a kiss.

"We'll be back later tonight. Don't get into too much trouble while we're gone," Euphemia warned.

"And stay out of my liquor cabinet!" Fleamont yelled over his shoulder.

They stepped into the fireplace together, a handful of floo powder in Fleamont's hand. The fire blazed a green, and they swirled into the floo network. James picked up the Evening Prophet his father had been reading before he left, and settled down on one of the sofas by the fireplace. Sirius was about to sit down next to him, when there was a whooshing sound and Remus stepped out of the fireplace. Sirius gave James a puzzled look, but James was avoiding his eye contact, trying not to grin over the paper. Peter stepped through next, almost colliding with Remus on the hearth.

"Um…" Sirius stuttered.

"Surprise! This is your 'Congratulations on becoming an honorary Potter' Party," James explained.

"Where are the decorations?" Sirius complained.

"We were on short notice. But I did manage to bring this," Remus spoke up, pulling a bottle of firewhiskey from out of his bag.

"Mum only had old mead in her cupboard," Peter piped up, pulling the bottle from out of his bag as well.

James dug around in the liquor cabinet behind them and pulled out a second bottle of firewhiskey.

"Now it's a party," Sirius conceded.

Sirius lead the way up to James's room. He hadn't noticed because they'd been outside for most of the day, but the room had been magically enlarged to fit 4 beds around the edges, and a pile of cushions and blankets in the middle for them to lounge about it. It slightly resembled their dorm at the castle, but softer around the edges. Sirius dove into the pile in the middle of the room and made himself comfortable. Peter followed suit, then Remus; James was last carrying a handful of goblets. They each poured themselves a drink, and James tapped his goblet with his wand.

"I propose a toast," he declared. "To me, for welcoming Sirius into my home with open arms, despite his ragged appearance and despicable table manners."

Remus nudged him, and James nearly spilled firewhiskey over the side.

"Moony, if you make me spill my drink I will not be happy."

"I think you mean rugged appearance, Prongs," Sirius insisted.

"Can we just fucking drink, already?" Peter complained.

And so they drank. The firewhiskey burnt like it always did, going down their throats. And then they felt warm, and light. It didn't take long for them to become absolutely tanked. Peter was first, was always first. He tried to get up at some point, tripped over a cushion on the ground and just laid on the floor until he fell asleep. James was next, though he managed to make it to his bed. Never into his pajamas, but he had gotten his shoes off at least. Sirius was the third, though he hadn't tried to move all night; and so he was stuck in the same pile of cushions on the floor. The only visible difference was that his eyes were now closed.

And so there was only Remus, always the last. It was something to do with the werewolf within, though he was glad that he could never get himself as inebriated as the other three; he might've died of embarrassment. He was sober enough to get himself into his pyjamas and check on his friends. Sirius's light snores from the middle of the room caught his eye, and he made sure to cover him with a blanket before getting into his own bed. The action, though seemingly friendly enough, had such a delicate undertone to it. James' sleep-clouded eyes thought he might have imagined it, but he had always had some gut feeling of something there. He didn't dwell too much on it, instead rolling over and falling back to sleep almost immediately.