Chapter 3

Eleanor woke the next morning and discovered that she had overslept. She quickly dressed and summoned Hodby, asking for coffee and oatmeal. After finishing a quick breakfast, she opened the portrait and entered the defense office. Severus was sitting at his desk, reading.

"Good morning, Eleanor. I would have thought with the amount of work you have left to do you would have emerged sooner. Professor McGonagall is looking for you." he said, not looking up from his book.

Eleanor flushed slightly. "Yes, I'm usually up with the sun, but I needed a solid rest, so I took a phial of dreamless sleep. I'll head to her office right away."

Snape looked up. "Do you often have trouble sleeping? I couldn't help but notice the ever present circles under your eyes."

She avoided his gaze. "Yes… I have nightmares most nights, and find it hard to catch more than a couple hours rest here and there."

"Ah, which is why you are experimenting with dreamless sleep."

"Yes. I'd like to make it better, so it could be effectively used on a nightly basis if the drinker required it."

"Have you gotten very far?" he asked, sneering slightly.

"Obviously not, or I wouldn't have dark circles underneath my eyes," she replied sarcastically, sneering back.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll be off to find McGonagall," she said, turning to leave.

"She's in her office," Snape offered, going back to his reading.

She turned in a huff, heading off into the defense classroom and out of sight.

Infuriating man! She thought. Last night he seemed to be warming up a bit, but he's right back to his usually prickly self this morning. She shook her head and stomped off to see the headmistress.

It turned out Minerva wanted to see how she was settling in, and told her to stop and see Poppy on her way to Hogsmeade, so that she knew what potions the matron required. Eleanor hoped to procure the ingredients necessary for those potions right away so that she could start working on the infirmary supply as soon as possible. Minerva also gave her a copy of the current potions syllabus for years 1-7, and let her know if she wanted to make any changes, she needed to submit them in writing by the end of the day, as the Ministry would need to approve the changes.

Eleanor had quickly exited her office and headed directly to Poppy, who gave her the list of required potions. She glanced over the list quickly. Pepperup, Dreamless sleep, Skele Gro, Blemish Blitzer, Blood Replenisher, Burn Healing Paste, Calming Draught, Contraceptive Concoction, Essence of Dittany, Menstrual-ease, and her own Migraine Mitigator. She bid Poppy a hasty farewell. Lord, Snape was right, she did have a lot to do. She all but ran to Hogsmeade, and introduced herself to the Apothecary owner. He promised to have all the ingredients she needed for the hospital wing potions ready by the following morning, and everything for the Student Storeroom ready by the morning of the 25th. She stopped at the tiny grocer in Hogsmeade and procured a few items for her kitchenette, so that she could feed herself rather than bothering Hodby whenever she fancied a snack. She then all but ran back up to her quarters, happy to find the defense office vacant. She wasn't particularly in the mood for snark.

She ate a quick lunch, then decided to take the syllabus out to the courtyard, so she could sit in the sun while reviewing it. She conjured a lounge chair and got to work. The Hogwarts potion syllabus was rather thorough, and she suspected that Snape had devised the majority of it. She had almost made it through fourth year when a deep voice from behind startled her.

"How are you finding the syllabus?"

Eleanor shrieked, jumping out of her seat.

Severus smirked. "I wouldn't suggest changing much, the Ministry officials are infuriatingly opposed to change, I spent a good many years getting it to where it is now."

"Damn it, Severus! Must you constantly sneak up on me?"

"Perhaps you could benefit from broadening your senses a bit, so that you aren't constantly caught unawares."

Eleanor began shaking uncontrollably. He had touched on an extremely sensitive point, and she couldn't control herself. "How dare you! I don't need you to tell me I'm rubbish at defense, Lord knows I learnt that the hard way. If could get a handle on my senses, I can assure you I would have done by now. Perhaps my father would even be here today, if I had that skill. Now, I really have a lot to do, and I need some peace and quiet. Good day."

She stormed off, missing the shocked expression on Snape's usually reserved face.

Eleanor spent the rest of the day hidden in her quarters, mainly to avoid running into Severus. She felt bad for snapping at him, but her lack of talent in defense had always been a sensitive subject for her. She could never be a spy, like he had for all those years. And she couldn't avoid the fact that she felt guilty about her father's murder. They had been caught by surprise, both immediately bound and gagged by that creep, Mulciber. She couldn't help feeling that if she had been better at defense, quicker on the uptake, more in tune with her senses, that perhaps she could have saved him. She sent the mostly unchanged potions syllabus to Minerva, then cried herself into an uneasy sleep.

Eleanor woke around 4 am, drenched in sweat and screaming. She forced down a calming draught, and held Talisker to her chest, slowly calming herself. She had accepted the fact that her nightmares would never go away, but she still struggled with the aftermath. Once she could breathe evenly, she got out of bed and took a shower. She went through her morning ablutions and got dressed, choosing comfortable muggle skinny jeans and a black sweater. It was August, but the dungeons were still chilly, and she was planning on spending her day there, brewing for the infirmary. She pulled on her favorite black boots, and headed into her kitchen, giving Talisker a saucer of cream and fixing herself a french press of coffee. She preferred her coffee black, and sat on her couch, relishing the deep, rich flavour. She made herself some toast, and halved a grapefruit. After finishing her breakfast, she decided to finish getting her living space in order, since the Apothecary didn't open until nine.

She unpacked all of her personal effects, and hung up all her photographs and artwork. She then unpacked a miniature baby grand piano and set it by the window. She cast an enlarging charm and it was back to its normal size. She had purchased her baby grand after graduating from music school. Unknown to the potions community, she had taken an alternate name and sold her patents for several magical beauty potions she had concocted. All of them focused on bringing out the user's natural attributes and enhancing their natural beauty. She had potions for hair, skin, anti perspirant, and body wash. They were wildly successful, and earned Eleanor quite a bit of galleons, enough to convert to muggle money and pay her way through school, and then some. She sat and played one of Chopin's waltzes, pleased to hear the instrument had maintained its integrity and didn't need to be tuned.

She checked the time and realized it was still a bit early, so she decided to head up to the owlery and write a letter to her mum. She let her know that she had settled in well, and would be spending the day brewing for the infirmary. She walked through the deserted castle until she found the owlery, and selected a handsome brown barn owl, attaching the letter to his leg and sending him off. She watched until he was just a speck in the distance, then headed off to Hogsmeade to pick up her supplies. She headed back to her private brewing space and got to work straight away.

Severus Snape was feeling remorseful that he had upset the new professor. Which was rather abnormal for him, as he usually didn't give a damn about anyones feelings. He had a nagging suspicion that she felt responsible for what happened to her father, and he hadn't intended on upsetting her. He spent the rest of the previous day sitting in his office, hoping she might emerge from her quarters, but to no avail. At one point he placed his hands on the portrait to her quarters, feeling her wards. They would be easy to break, if he so chose. He decided that wouldn't be a particularly good idea, since she seemed to want to be alone. After lunch the following day he decided to go looking for her, intending to apologize. He checked her office first, then headed into her classroom. He heard muggle music playing, and the door to her private brewing room was open, so he peeked his head inside. He found Eleanor clad in a form fitting sweater and rather attractive muggle pants, and watched for a moment as she sang along to the music while cutting shrivelfig into equal pieces, shaking her hips rather enticingly.

Pretty woman, walking down the street

Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet

Pretty woman

I don't believe you, you're not the truth

No one could look as good as you

Mercy

Pretty woman, won't you pardon me?

Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see

Pretty woman

That you look lovely as can be

Are you lonely just like me?

Rawr

Pretty woman, stop a while

Pretty woman, talk a while

Pretty woman, give your smile to me

Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah

Pretty woman, look my way

Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me

'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right

Come with me baby, be mine tonight

Pretty woman, don't walk on by

Pretty woman, don't make me cry

Pretty woman, don't walk away, hey...

OK

If that's the way it must be, OK

I guess I'll go on home, it's late

There'll be tomorrow night, but wait—

What do I see?

Is she walking back to me?

Yeah, she's walking back to me

Oh, oh, pretty woman

Severus swallowed, not being able to help the fact that he found her arse incredibly attractive. He was a man, after all. His usually sallow cheeks tinged with pink, he cleared his throat loudly, trying not to startle her. She turned around, and when she saw who was there, smiled sheepishly and turned the music down a bit.

"Hello Severus," she said softly, embarrassment clear in her tone.

"Eleanor. How in the name of Merlin can you brew with that music playing? Isn't it distracting?" he asked, looking at the multiple cauldrons she had going, and wondering how she kept track of it all.

She laughed. "Honestly, Severus. I could probably brew some of these potions in my sleep. My father always used to play muggle rock and roll while we brewed together. I do it now because it reminds me of him. His favourites were Roy Orbison, Elvis Presley, and Bobby Darin." She carefully lowered the shrivelfig into one of the cauldrons, stirring the potion counterclockwise three times.

"Your father listened to muggle music too? I thought he was a pureblood," Snape asked.

"Yes, my mum introduced him to it. It's one of the reasons he fell in love with her," Eleanor answered, adding 4 drops of dittany to another cauldron. "Anyway, we always had music of some sort playing while we brewed. Rock and roll for the easier stuff, Debussy and Mozart for the really complex stuff, like Veritaserum and Wolfsbane. And what does it matter that he was pure blood? I thought only death eaters cared about blood status."

Snape cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You must know that I was a death eater at one time."

She looked at him, her hazel eyes piercing his obsidian ones. "Yes, but you were also a double agent and spy, and I don't believe you ever truly put much stock in the importance of blood status, as your best friend was muggleborn."

"You don't know anything about what I was or what I believe," he sneered defensively.

"Perhaps I don't. Did you know Voldemort was planning on coming after my father and I?" She asked, her voice shaking. She had wanted to know the answer to that question for some time.

Snape looked outraged. "Of course I didn't! He didn't share his plans with me unless they pertained to Hogwarts. I was disgusted when I found out what happened to your father, I've admired his work since I was 11. If I'd known, I would have done whatever I could to stop it."

She held his gaze for a moment, then looked to the floor, embarrassed. "I believe you. I'm sorry. I should never have assumed you knew."

Severus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for upsetting you yesterday, that was not my intention."

She nodded, then turned back to the workbench, stirring another potion 6 times clockwise.

"That's all I really came down here for. To apologize. I have to update my syllabus and send it to the ministry."

She turned back to face him. "Thank you, and good luck with your syllabus."

He nodded, and left the office, cloak billowing behind him.

She sighed, decanting the completed pepperup potion. She knew it probably had taken a lot for him to apologise, and was touched that he made the effort. She finished the rest of the potions, then summoned Hodby and asked him to bring her dinner to her office. She ate, then re-read one of her father's potions journals, where he recorded his experiences brewing dreamless sleep. She checked her notes from Advanced Potion Making, and sat for several hours trying to figure out a way to modify the potion. She came up with a theory. Normally the brewer needed to harvest the moonflowers used in the potion under a full moon. She wondered if harvesting the moonflower under a different moonphase would change the effect of the potion, or render it useless. "Only one way to find out" she muttered to herself. She checked the lunar charts and realized tonight was a new moon. She gathered some supplies, then checked her father's journal again. He had mentioned that there was a patch of moonflowers growing in the forest near Hogwarts. She memorized the location, and threw on her cloak, heading out of the castle.

Snape lay on a large rock by the lake, looking at the stars. He sat there often, when he couldn't sleep. He too had nightmares, and constantly relived watching muggle tortures, rapes, and murders, as well as finding Lily's lifeless body. Being a Death Eater had taken a toll on him, and he didn't think he would ever escape his gruesome past. He had finally come to terms with his unrequited love, and felt at peace with the situation. Saving Lily's son and helping to finish the Dark Lord had eased his guilt, and brought him a sense of closure, and on the whole, he had moved on. Lily would always have a special place in his heart, but as his dearest friend, rather than his true love. He heard the creak of the castle door being shut, and sat up suddenly. He saw the tiny light from someone's wand, and noticed it was heading towards the forest. Shit. No one had warned Eleanor of the dangers of the forest, and he doubted McGonagall would be roaming about at this hour. No other staff was there at present. He started to run after her. He was about 100 feet from the forest when he saw the light from her wand disappear into the trees.

Eleanor held her wand aloft, peering into the forest. It looked a bit dark and creepy, mist floating about. She moved further inward, heading in what she hoped was the right direction. Suddenly she heard the beating of hooves.

A centaur leapt out in front of her, glaring down at her menacingly, a club in hand.

She stopped, looking at him in amazement. She'd never seen a centaur before.

"Human woman! We have warned your kind not to trespass in our forest! Now you will pay the price!"

Eleanor stepped back in alarm. "I'm sorry, I just moved to the school, I had no idea I wasn't welcome here!"

"Ignorance is no excuse. You must pay the price with your blood!" he shrieked, swinging his club. Suddenly Severus leapt in front of Eleanor, blocking her with his body. She cowered behind him, shaking uncontrollably.

Severus pointed his wand at the centaur, binding him in strong, thick ropes. The centaur howled with rage as he fell to the ground. Severus turned to Eleanor and shouted, "We have to get out of here!"

She nodded, turned, and ran. He followed her, wand at the ready. When they reached the school grounds, Eleanor stopped, turning to Severus. "Why didn't anyone tell me not to go into the forest? I could have been killed!"

Severus bent over, putting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "I didn't think you'd be traipsing off into the forest, we usually give a blanket warning to everyone at the start of term feast. what on earth were you doing?"

She huffed. "I wanted to try harvesting moonflowers during the new moon, rather than the full, and see if using them in dreamless sleep would change the effect of the potion. I read in my father's potions journal that there was a patch of them growing here in the forest. How was I to know I'd encounter an insane centaur? We regularly explored the forests around Ilvermorny, without getting hurt."

Severus rolled his eyes. "You have no idea what you could have encountered in there. The angry herd of centaurs is just the beginning, never mind the wolves, hippogryphs, or the large family of acromantula. Not to mention whatever else Hagrid has roaming around in there."

Eleanor's eyes widened fearfully. "I'm sorry. And thank you, you saved my life."

Snape stood up again, having caught his breath. "I already owe you my life, it's the least I could do. You should have just come to me, our Herbology professor has moonflowers growing in Greenhouse Three. I can take you there now so you can harvest some, if you like."

Her eyes lit up. "That would be wonderful!"

Snape jerked his head toward the greenhouses and started to walk, wand held aloft. She followed, staying close.

"So we're even now? A life for a life?" she asked as they walked.

"I suppose we are," he grunted in reply.

"Well that's a relief. Poppy said that you were rather hacked off about surviving that snake attack, and I imagine that you may have resented me for sending it to her. I want you to know that I had no idea who would benefit from it, and I wasn't trying to meddle with your life… or death. I just wanted to help."

They entered Greenhouse Three, and Snape shut the door behind them with a snap. "I did resent you for a time. But I came to realize you meant no harm, and any sane person would be grateful for it. The truth is I was prepared to die, and if I'd known I would live, I wouldn't have shared quite so many intimate details of my life with Potter. I'm most upset that my privacy had to be violated in order to clear my name."

She nodded, finding the moonflowers and beginning to harvest some. "I understand. I would probably feel the same way if I was in your position. Have you forgiven him? He too was just trying to help."

He sighed. "I suppose I have. He irritates me to no end, sending me bloody Christmas gifts, and inviting me to all sorts of events and parties, most of which I avoid. But saving his life countless times and winning the war brought me a sense of closure in many ways."

She eyed him warily. "Really? So you aren't in love with Lily anymore?"

He crossed his arms and glared at her. "That's really none of your business."

She sighed. "Of course not. Forgive me."

Severus relaxed a bit. "I'm not great at talking about this. I'll always love Lily. She was my dearest friend. However, my perspective has changed a bit. She never loved me the way I loved her, and I did unforgivable things to her and her family. Yet her son has forgiven me, which leads me to think she would as well. I think I've redeemed myself enough where I don't have the constant day to day gut wrenching guilt, but I will still never truly forgive myself for what happened to her."

She put the moonflowers and her tools in her satchel. "I understand, I think. I often berate myself for what happened to my father. I just lay there, bound and gagged, and had to watch it happen. If I'd been more skilled at defense, or wandless magic, I may have been able to save him!"

Severus shook his head. "You cannot blame yourself for what happened. Your father wouldn't want you to live with that sort of guilt hanging over your head. The only person to blame is Mulciber. If he hadn't been killed at the Battle of Hogwarts, I would have killed him myself."

"I can't help what I feel," she whispered softly.

He looked into her eyes, which reflected back immense pain and sorrow. He understood how she felt.

"I know," he replied evenly. "Shall we head back inside? It's getting late, and I'd like to get at least some sleep tonight."

"Yes, I got what I needed."

They headed back into the castle. Severus walked her back up to his office.

"Thank you for coming after me tonight. By the way, how did you know where I was going?"

He smirked. "I often cannot sleep. There is a large rock by the lake that I like to sit on. It's a good place to go if you need to think. I was sitting there when I heard the castle door open and shut. I had a hunch it was you, and followed."

She smiled. "Well, I'm very glad that you did. Goodnight, Severus."

He watched her pull open the portrait, and replied, "Goodnight, Eleanor."

She nodded and shut the portrait behind her. Severus flooed downstairs to her office and entered his quarters, and prepared to sleep. He lay awake for quite awhile, thinking about his past, and his conversation with the young potions mistress. He was surprised how easy she was to talk to, and wondered if he would eventually hear the details of her traumatic past. He realized he'd forgotten to warn her that the Admunsen family would be coming to Hogwarts in the morning, to go over the precautions set in place for the boy, Wesley. Ah well, she'd probably be in her office or brewing room, it would be easy enough to find her. He drifted off into an uneasy slumber, unable to forget the sadness in Eleanor's eyes.

Listen Along:

Chopin: Waltz No. 10 in B Minor, Op. 69 No. 2

Roy Orbison: Pretty Woman