I believe some of you thought this story was completed after chapter 7. It was not. Olivia still hasn't made a choice yet. Or has she? I hope you will enjoy how I decided to wrap this up! This is the final chapter.

...

8.

Elliot doesn't want to let go of Olivia. He knows moments like these are fleeting. The fact that she's holding him now, reassuring him that she is still very much alive, doesn't mean she won't turn around and stomp on his heart again. She's told him that this David was the first one to make her feel anything again, after his departure had left her numb. Both statements mean something and he can't know which one will be more important to her.

He had left her numb. That means he meant more to her than she had been willing to admit.

David made her feel again. That means he means something to her as well.

He may think that he knows her better and that he's known her longer, but it's not up to him. He can't force Olivia to choose him and break up with this other man.

But she's here and that means something too. When she stirs, Elliot loosens his grip on her a little bit and looks into her eyes. He sees conflict there. Concern. Despair almost.

"What Liv?" he asks her cautiously. "Talk to me."

"We'll hurt each other," she says sadly, repeating her earlier statement. "We always do."

Her hands are still on his waist and he holds on to her, needing to feel her close to him while they talk about these important things.

"I was hurting without you, too," he admits and he thinks that by some miracle, he has used exactly the right words to reach her because something breaks in her eyes and they fill with tears.

She tries to turn away but he holds on and she frowns. Then, she places her palms against his chest and applies pressure. Not a lot. She isn't shoving him away like before but he knows she needs him to let go of her. He complies reluctantly, dropping his arms but not stepping back. She doesn't step back either and just looks down.

"If I had known in advance it would take me this long to come back … I would have let you know Liv."

She lifts her eyes to meet his again.

"I didn't plan it like this and I don't want to mess up your life. I just …"

He shakes his head and looks at the wall behind her.

"You just what?" Olivia asks softly and he realizes she's hanging on his every word.

She's in as deep as he is.

"Remember when I told you, you and the job were all I had left?"

She nods and her eyes reflect the pain they had both been in in those moments.

"I've got nothing now."

…

Olivia feels him. She really does, and her heart aches at the memory of that day - that case. But at the end of the day, he still has his family. She just saw them, two of his five kids. She's the one who has nothing. Always has been.

"You've got your kids," she tells him.

He nods slowly, not breaking eye contact with her. His stare is intense.

"You're right. They're my kids and always will be. They have no choice in the matter."

Unlike her.

It's as if he is trying to keep them linked by maintaining eye contact with her. She does have a choice. She can leave and never come back. But if she does that, she'll never know. She'll never know what could have been or why it took him so long to come back to her at all.

She could settle for David, if he'll still have her after all this drama. But that's not why she's here. That's not why she had felt drawn to this place, an apartment she'd never set foot in before. She remembers why she's here but she'll be damned if she makes it easy for him.

"So what took you so long?"

Elliot takes a deep breath and she braces herself. This had better be good.

"It … was my therapist, actually."

Her eyebrows shoot up. She doesn't know what she had expected but this definitely wasn't it.

"Your therapist?"

…

Elliot swallows hard. He's getting warm and suddenly he wishes they weren't standing so close together. Despite the months of therapy, he still has trouble talking about his struggles. He takes a very small step back and looks away when he tells her,

"Diagnose was PTSD. Well, it is actually. My therapist helped me create some order in the chaos inside my head, and in my life. Had to take care of things in the right order, he told me. Seeing you again too soon would be … detrimental to my recovery."

Olivia scoffs.

"You still could have let me know something."

"I know," he says immediately. "And I'm not trying to shift the blame. I was completely self-absorbed. That's the ugly truth."

He searches her eyes for a reaction and he is relieved to see that the look in her eyes has softened a little.

"Why would seeing me be detrimental to your recovery El?"

She speaks quietly and he can only interpret the look on her face as one that is yearning to understand. And possibly forgive. But he isn't sure if the rest of the ugly truth won't hurt her. He rubs his neck with a hand and glances at her before settling his eyes on her shoulder. Not her eyes.

"The shooting … my fear of Jenna killing you … it's all tied together. I had to come to terms with … with the depth of my feelings .. the lengths I'd go to, for you."

The last two words are barely more than a whisper and he takes a shaky breath. Putting it all out there doesn't come easy to him.

Olivia takes a step back as well and turns away from him. She doesn't go far but creates some distance between them. Her hand traces the backrest of his couch while she walks past it, seemingly deep in thought.

"I just let it happen, Liv," Elliot continues. "I let it all come out and it was exhausting. I'm still tired. I walked for hours. In Queens at first, and then here. I hardly slept. I still use medication for that. I didn't have the energy to face you but you were always on my mind. You were my end goal, so to speak."

That makes her look at him again but he can't read the look in her eyes at the moment.

"Have you made any progress?" she asks.

"I have. There was a lot to deal with. My childhood. My … father. My mother. My marriage. There was a lot of rage underneath. About the injustice of it all."

Olivia nods and he knows she knows what he's talking about. She's a victim of injustice herself.

"I had to learn to take charge of my life at last," he tells her. "And not just let it happen to me."

"Let what happen to you?" Olivia asks.

"Life."

She walks back up to him and tilts her head, asking him for an explanation without words. His therapy has really helped him put things into words, he thinks. And she's actually listening.

"Until now, I always let my circumstances decide for me what I should do."

She stares at him, unblinking.

"Not anymore, Liv," he says softly.

He looks down and reaches for her hand. She lets him take it.

"I will admit I'm scared shitless too," he tells her with a half smirk.

"It's much easier to just let your circumstances decide," Olivia acknowledges quietly.

"Yeah."

He nods and lifts his head to look at her.

"But that's not really living, is it?"

…

Olivia can't remember ever having such an honest conversation with Elliot before. He is doing most of the talking for now, and that in itself is new, too. She finds herself wanting to understand and decides that's a lot easier than she had expected. He is making sense and she understands how overwhelming it can be to let everything out that's been bottled up for ages. She is still afraid to let all of it go herself.

His fingers are warm around hers and she feels as if life is flowing back into her veins through her hand. She had been so cold without him.

"So. Therapy huh?" she says, one corner of her mouth tugging up.

Elliot shrugs.

"It works."

"Clearly."

"So taking charge of your life … what does that mean for you?" she asks him.

She thinks she knows, but she needs to hear it from him. Talking is underrated, she realizes. It's liberating to bring it all out in the open.

"I let go of my anger towards my father for the most part. And I forgave my mother. She can't help it that she's sick."

Olivia squeezes his hand. She knows these are big steps.

"I am trying to forgive myself," Elliot says and she can see the emotion in his eyes.

He hasn't forgiven himself completely yet but he's trying.

"For what?" she asks, standing closer to him and reaching for his other hand.

"For taking my issues out on other people. Kathy. You."

He swallows hard and looks past her at some point in the distance.

"I acknowledged that my heart wasn't in my marriage anymore. Maybe it never really was. Kathy accepted it surprisingly easily this time. I asked her to forgive me for wearing her down like that."

"What did she say?" Olivia whispers.

"We actually cried together," Elliot tells her, and he looks like he could cry again right now. "We always knew it wasn't working, but it took me acknowledging that I just couldn't pretend anymore for the dams to break. Turns out it was the same for her."

Olivia isn't sure how she should feel about that. She's always felt guilty for distracting Elliot from his marriage, even if she never intended to. And now he tells her Kathy had been pretending too?

"She's been on a few dates already," Elliot continues. "It's like she's finally free. I'm happy for her."

Elliot lets go of her hands and Olivia wonders what he's going to do. He moves his hands up her arms and settles them on her upper arms.

"And lastly … taking charge of my life meant admitting how I feel about you."

Her mouth goes dry instantly. She knew this was coming but it's still so different to hear him say it, with actual words.

"El," she sighs, still feeling the urge to retreat when he gets too close.

"I love you," Elliot says firmly and they both know there is nowhere left to run for her. She can't escape anymore because he's said it out loud.

Elliot lets go of her arms and she misses the contant instantly. His touch makes her feel alive and she knows she can't go back to David now. She can't go back to feeling numb without him. David had been sweet and it had been good not to be alone. To have someone interested in her. But he'll never give her life like Elliot does. Never make her yearn for his touch like Elliot does. If David walked out of her life right now, she wouldn't pine over him for months. She'd be over him in a few days.

"So there you have it," she hears Elliot say, and she realizes she hasn't responded to his declaration of love at all. She is just standing there, thinking. Feeling. Knowing.

Olivia opens her mouth to say something but the words just won't come out. Elliot can still read her like a book and knows what she's thinking. He steps closer to her again and cups her cheek with one hand. Olivia's eyes flutter closed and her entire body anticipates what's next. He is going to kiss her. He is going to kiss her and her lips can already feel it. He is going to kiss her and she wants him to. More than anything.

He is going to …

He kisses her.

…

He can't believe he is kissing her again. He hadn't expected it but he knows that their entire conversation has led up to this. There had never been another outcome. He is kissing her and she's kissing him back. She doesn't stop after a few seconds this time. Instead, her arms wrap tightly around him and he moans. He pushes her against the back of the couch and she presses her body tighter against his. He can't help it that his body responds strongly to hers but Olivia still doesn't stop. He is drinking her in and his right hand tangles in her long hair. She moans and her kisses are hungry and passionate. His left hand moves up from her waist until he hits the underside of her breast. Olivia gasps against his lips and he pauses, but she doesn't stop. She makes room for his hand between their bodies without breaking their intimate kiss and his hand moves over her breast automatically. She moans again and he groans, frustrated with they layers of clothing separating him from Olivia's skin.

When they finally come up for air, they are both panting and trembling. Elliot rests his forehead against Olivia's, his eyes closed. After a few moments he asks her,

"Liv. What does this mean?"

Olivia takes a deep breath and for a second he fears that she will retreat once more.

"El," she whispers.

"Yeah?"

"What if the fire incinerates us?"

"It won't."

"How can you be sure?"

"We know what we're getting into. We know each other better than anyone."

After a few seconds, Elliot opens his eyes to look at her. There are tears in her brown eyes again when she looks up at him.

"We do," she acknowledges.

"I've missed that, Liv. Having someone next to me who really knows me. The real me."

Her lips tremble and the tears are threatening to spill over her lower lashes, and then she admits,

"Me too."

She blinks and two tears run down her cheeks. Elliot moves his hands up to her cheeks to catch them with his thumbs.

"I'm here Liv. And I'm not going to leave you ever again. I'm taking control of my life and I choose you. Not because I have to but because I want to. Because I love you."

…

He is so, so spot on with his words again. Someone who really knows me. That's what she's been missing. Craving even. And she knows she could try with someone else, but the only man who has ever truly known her is right here, in her arms, baring his soul to her. He is choosing her. Not because he has to but because he wants to. He is putting it all on the line and she knows there is no way back. Not now. They will hurt each other like they have in the past. But they will catch each other, too, like they always have. The fire won't consume them. It will warm them and they will always come back to that warmth that nobody else can offer. Elliot is offering her exactly what she's always wanted and all she has to do it take it.

"I love you too."

The words fall from her lips before she can stop them and she lets out a shuddering breath. Full disclosure. Elliot closes his eyes and it's her turn to wipe his cheeks when a few tears manage to escape and run down his cheeks.

"Please stay," Elliot whispers.

Olivia smiles through her own tears when he opens his eyes to look at her.

"I will," she whispers back. "Where else would I go?"

...

THE END

…

A/N: I had wanted to revisit David one more time at first, but as soon as I wrote this scene, I knew the story was complete. I hope you will agree with me! Thank you for reading this until the end. Your reviews are appreciated.